You could have heard a pin drop in the ensuing silence. Jake looked at me expectantly, but I had nothing to say to him. Isabella swallowed, her expression painful, then managed a watery smile.
"Jake darling, if we go to bring your mummy back, we cannot leave Angela here alone, can we?"
He shook his head, looking thoughtful. "So we take her?"
"Um, she is too little, sweetheart. The plane makes a lot of noise. She will be scared, you know? Why don't we wait until she is big, then we can take her."
My little boy looked sad again. "All right. When she grow big like me?"
I picked him up and held him close to me. "Yes, when she is big like you, we will go in the plane." He tucked his head in my neck. He trusted me so much. Would he forgive me for lying to him when he was older?
Angela woke up then with a shrill cry. God bless her, my baby had a set of lungs on her. The babysitter checked her diaper and declared that she must be hungry.
"I will get the milk," she said, and lifted Angela from the cot. To my surprise, Isabella offered to keep Angela while Jessica (I remembered her name off and on) went to get the bottle. To be sure, Rose had been her sister, but merely being an aunt did not guarantee affection towards one's nephew or niece, did it?
However, it was clear that Isabella loved both the children. The way she cooed over Angela, the readiness with which she helped Jake eat his food at dinner, and most of all her earnest manner of looking at them proved it. When she kissed both of them goodnight, her eyes were moist with tears.
Charles and Renee went to bed soon after, both of them used to early nights, leaving Isabella and me in the sitting room. I had expected her to follow them and catch up on her sleep, so I was surprised when she lingered behind.
"I am so sorry," she blurted as soon as the door upstairs clicked shut. I frowned.
"Uh, what are you sorry for?"
"For lying to Jake. I shouldn't have, even though he will probably forget it." She wrung her hands nervously. "But what could have I done?"
"Oh," I sighed heavily. "Isabella, it was not your fault. You couldn't have seen where the conversation would lead to, and you couldn't have told him the truth. It would have made him cry again."
"I will be more careful in the future," she murmured, perhaps to herself.
"It's okay, really. I lied to him as well. As long as our intention is good, God will forgive us."
She smiled a sad little smile. "I hope so. If you don't mind, I think I will turn in now."
"Of course, you must be tired. Good night, Isabella."
"Good night, Edward."
I should have gone to sleep too, I felt exhausted. But I knew I would just lie in my bed and toss and turn around for hours, worrying about Angela and Jake. I leaned back on the thickly upholstered sofa and stared out of the French window, questioning the stars I could see what was written in the kismet of my children.
-ooo0ooo-
In spite of the disastrous first meeting with my son, Isabella did not shy away from him, though she was careful while talking with him. It was not easy, he was a toddler and bound to ask about his mother sometimes. Luckily she could distract him with stories that he listened with open-mouthed fascination—she was a really good storyteller—and playing with him for hours. She would also feed Angela, bathe her, dress her and then take both of them out in the garden. Angela would be in her pink pram, looking like a pretty doll herself, with Jake skipping alongside and chattering non-stop. In just a week, I could see the difference in him, how much happier he was around his aunt.
I had to go back to my office after I had taken two weeks off. I am sure I would have been sick with worry if Isabella had not been there. As it was, I could start working again with a little less load on my shoulders than before. I missed my Rose every minute of the day, but at least I did not feel guilty of neglecting my children. Isabella was not their mother, but she cared for them just like a mother.
Two more weeks passed, during which the wispy hair on Angela's head became more visible and her features somewhat defined. Jake was delighted when she would grip his finger in her tiny fist and hold on to it with all her might. I was delighted when she smiled at me, though Renee informed me that she was too young to do so.
Charles looked a little less tired, though his eyes belied the sadness inside him. Sometimes I would catch him staring at Isabella while she talked nonsense to Angela and made Jake laugh. It was a serious, thoughtful gaze as if he was trying to figure out something, but when I asked him what the matter was, he shook his head and remained quiet.
One Sunday morning he came to me after breakfast and said he had something important to discuss with me. He said that it was time for him and Renee to return to their home, they had been here long enough and things were running pretty smoothly.
"Oh," I said, understanding his point but feeling scared to be on my own again. "Will Isabella go with you? Or is she returning to the US?"
I suppose I could ask Jessica to be a full-time nanny, or ask around for someone reliable. However, the thought of leaving my children to someone I barely knew made my heart clench with worry.
Charles sighed, then sat up straight as he looked seriously at me. "Edward, have you thought of a long-term arrangement for the children? A second marriage, perhaps?"
Shocked at his suggestion, I glared at him. "I will never marry again. And I will certainly not bring a strange woman in my home and leave my babies at her mercy. Who knows how she will treat them when I am not around?"
One side of his lips lifted in a wry smile. "I would never suggest that to you, Edward. But you agree that the children will need a mother sooner or later? They can't live only with servants around them, can they?"
I nodded reluctantly.
Charles pushed his glasses up and cleared his throat. "Last night I asked Isabella if she was returning to the US, and she said she was not, so I asked her if she would make this arrangement a permanent one." He looked me meaningfully.
I frowned. "She is willing to stay here until the children grow up? I can't ask that from her."
"She can't stay here just like that, Edward," he said patiently. "People will talk, you understand? She loves Jake and Angela as if they were her own, you have seen that, but if she stays here you will have to marry her. It is the only way."
"Marry her?" My voice sounded as if I was being strangled, even to my own ears. I am sure my face lost all colour.
Charles sighed. "I understand you don't want to marry anybody, at least not right now. But we have to be practical, son. The children need a mother now, not ten years later. You don't want to risk their well-being, and Isabella is ready to stay here and take care of them, and most important—she loves them. You can see it leads to only one conclusion, can't you?"
I sat with my head bowed and my eyes brimming with tears. Yes, he was right in everything, but marrying someone when I was still grieving for my wife? To me, it felt like a betrayal.
"Don't you think Rose would want her children looked after by someone who truly loves them and cares for them?" said my father-in-law softly, but it felt like I had been punched in the gut.
Of course Rose would want that, in fact I couldn't imagine how much it would sadden her to see her children be otherwise. With that argument, all my objections to being married again became nothing.
But there was still something I wanted to clarify.
"What about Isabella? Is this kind of marriage all right with her?" I asked Charles. Surely she had dreams of her own!
He looked relieved. "If that is your only worry, you can put it to rest. Isabella was never interested in marriage, only in her studies and then being a doctor. I have spoken with her, and she understands that this is the only solution. But of course, you can go and speak with her, ask whatever you want to ask."
I took his advice, but it was as he had said. Isabella listened to me carefully and then let me know that she understood we would be getting married for the sake of the children, and she did not expect anything more.
"They are your first priority as they are mine," she said, looking me in the eyes. Her tone was gentle and yet passionate. "I cannot risk their welfare, Edward. Rose was a wonderful sister to me. I have to do this for her or I won't be able to forgive myself."
I exhaled, relieved in a manner that the matter had been settled and that my children had a mother once again.
We had a court marriage the next day, with Charles and Carlisle as witnesses. Renee was not informed. Charles said he would tell her when she became more stable.
We came home. I kissed the children and then left for the office.
A.N. A relatively longer chapter for you, since it's my birthday today!
Thoughts?
Do check out the lovely entries in the Age of Edward contest, but please do not guess who the author might be in your review. That might disqualify the entry!
