Disclaimer: I own nothing worthwhile. Really. Its kinda sad.

Opening A/N - Hey gang, I opened a topic on one of the forums. I am curious about your opinions on how hot you like Shoujo-ai romance. Pop over there and put in your two cents worth. (It's on the Azumanga Daioh forum, topic is called Heat. Scale of 1-10.)


Chapter Four - Rumors

Miss Yukari Tanizaki was half asleep at her desk in the empty teacher's office when Minamo Kurosawa walked in. Minamo said "I hear you had some trouble in your classroom today. I saw some paramedics take one of your students out in an ambulance."

The language teacher waved a lazy hand above her head, "Oh, it was nothing. Osaka got a bump on her head and someone called the school nurse. Once the principal heard about it, they were all worried about getting sued and stuff, so they went a little overboard. You know, err on the side of caution and all that crap.

"Besides," she continued, "it's just Osaka. I doubt a bump on that thick skull would do anything to her anyway. I mean, brain damage would go completely unnoticed on that kid."

Minamo frowned, "That's pretty cold. Don't you have any interest in your students at all?"

"Yes!" Yukari sat up, "actually this story is much more interesting than it appears. You see, rumor has it that the reason Osaka got injured is that she and Tomo were making out on one of the tables right there in the classroom when they fell off! Can you believe it?!"

"Yukari..."

"But you know honestly, I never pictured those two together. I would have guessed that if Tomo swung in that direction, she would probably go for someone like Kagura."

"Kagura?" Minamo replied, "Pffft. I don't think so. They are too much alike."

"Alike? They're not at all similar! Look at what a star athlete Kagura is. She and Sakaki together are the two best female athletes in the whole school. That is nothing like Tomo, who can't even have sex on a table without falling off," she scoffed.

"If you must discuss possible girl-girl combinations in that circle of friends, I have to say Tomo seems an obvious match for Yomi."

Yukari snickered, "Yomi, huh? You have got to be kidding me, right? First off, she is as straight as they come. No seriously, I have this uncanny ability to sense this stuff, I can tell these things."

"We both know how accurate that turned out," Nyamo grumbled.

"Yeah, yeah, it's not 100 percent. Anyhow, Yomi and Tomo just wouldn't work out."

"I'm not so sure about that," the PE teacher replied, "Yomi is a kind and patient young woman, just the kind of stabilizing influence Tomo needs in her life."

"No way! I don't care how patient and caring Yomi is, I bet Tomo would drive her insane eventually."

"Tell me about it," the PE teacher muttered.

"Besides, Tomo is full of life and energy and Yomi is such a boring and dull girl that she'll be lucky to ever catch a man."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Minamo demanded, slamming her hands down on Yukari's desk, "Thanks a lot!"

Yukari looked up at her in surprise, "Huh? What's your deal?"

That was when a pair of puppets popped up from the desk across from them. Little red riding hood and a wolf. "I think Chiyo-chan and Sakaki would make a cute couple," came Mr. Kimura's voice from under his desk. The wolf gave Little Red a big hug.

"Holy crap, I didn't know you were still here! Dammit, I thought this place was empty!" Yukari snarled.

"Oh god..." Minamo put her hand on her forehead.

Kimura peered over the edge of his desk, gazing at them with fogged up glasses. "Wouldn't they be perfect together? Look, I can show you a love-story puppet show!"

"Don't you think Chiyo-chan is a little young for romantic ideas?" Minamo asked.

"Go away!" Yukari yelled. Then she snickered, "Besides, I think Sakaki already has an admirer. A certain girl that transferred over to your class this year."

Mr. Kimura jumped to his feet defensively. "That's not true! That's just another vicious rumor started by jealous girls," he insisted.

"Oh, I don't know," Yukari continued. "Of course, Kaorin is such a shy timid little thing compared to Sakaki. I think it's clear to see who would be the dominant one in that relationship."

Kimura ran to the door, covering his ears with his puppet-covered hands. "Not true! Not true!"

Yukari pushed on, "I can just picture Sakaki wearing some kind of black leather dominatrix outfit, keeping Kaorin on a leash." This seemed to stop Kimura in his tracks for about five seconds while his whole body shook from head to toe. Then he plunged out the door into the hall yelling, "Nooooooooooooooo!"

"Ka-whack goes the whip!" the language teacher yelled to the empty doorway. Then she turned to Minamo. "Isn't that how you have always pictured the eventual hookup between Sakaki and Kaorin?"

"You don't know your students at all, do you?" Minamo asked in despair.

"Oh, come off it Nyamo. You know if Sakaki told Kaorin to lick her feet, she would drop right there and do it in a second."

"Maybe so but you also know, or at least you should, that Sakaki would never be that way. She doesn't have an aggressive bone in her body."

"Ha! She came to school with bandages all over her hands again last week and I heard a rumor that..."

Minamo groaned, "Not more rumors. Yukari, don't believe all these stupid high school drama rumors. I swear you haven't matured a bit since our high school days."

"But some of them are so much fun! Oh! I heard a good one last week. You know that Ohyama kid? Well it turns out he is a closet pervert."

The PE teacher frowned at her friend, "Is that your oh-so-delicate way of saying that he is gay?"

"Gay? Nah, just the opposite I think. He's a closet pervert. Literally. He is a pervert who likes closets."

"I don't even know what you are talking about anymore."

"Aren't you listening Nyamo? I swear. I heard from a kid whose friend told his brother that he had spotted Ohyama and Chihiro doing the nasty in the janitor's closet. Well, it turns out he just likes the idea of being in a tight enclosed space like that with a girl. Ohyama gets all hot and bothered by closets."

"Ohyama... and Chihiro?"

Yukari nodded, "Oh yeah baby! That boy is one kinky guy. So I decided to put this rumor to the test."

"No! What did you do?"

"Oh, nothing too spectacular. I just wanted to see if the rumor was true or not. So I had the students translating some English on the board and I wandered around the classroom. After I passed his desk, I went to the storage closet in the back of the room and opened it up, just acting like I was looking for something on the bottom shelf, like this, see?" and Yukari slowly bent over very provocatively and wiggled her butt while pretending to look in the bottom drawer.

"You should have seen his head spin! It was like the friggin exorcist or something."

"Yukari! You are going to get fired one of these days!"

"What? I get fired for looking for supplies while Kimura is climbing the fence to get into the girls pool? Oh, that reminds me of another good one I heard."

Nyamo held up both hands, "Stop! No more rumors! I don't want to hear any more of this. Ignorance is bliss!"

"Ignorance is bliss? Now that's a fine attitude for an educator to take. Oh well, whatever. So, do you want to go out drinking tonight?"


Yomi had promised to help Kagura with her math homework and to Yomi a promise was sacred. So when they got to the Mizuhara house after school, the first things out were the math books. Kagura looked a bit disappointed, but she knew this was a genuine offer of help, one she couldn't afford to turn down. Even if her mind was elsewhere.

Once Yomi brought in the tea, the two girls got right to work on the upcoming assignment, with the athlete getting plenty of help from her friend. After a couple hours of hard work, the assignment was done and it was also clear to Yomi that Kagura was in way over her head on the current classwork. She had avoided giving out answers directly, but walked her through each problem that she had trouble with, which turned out to be all of them.

The Mizuhara's had come home from work and prepared the evening meal, so when girls were called for dinner, Kagura was quite relieved. It had been an embarrassing ordeal for her. She felt as if she had been exposed as the total dimwit she truly was in front of the only person on Earth whose opinion she actually cared about. Then again, she sighed, it wasn't like it had ever been a big secret. You didn't get elected leader of the Bonkura's for nothing.

Dinner was wonderful. The Mizuhara's had been very happy to meet another of their daughter's friends and Kagura had almost blushed a couple times as Yomi boasted of all of Kagura's athletic accomplishments. When the subject turned to today's homework, Yomi simply said they were working on math together. "It's nice to have someone who is interested in doing the work, rather than bouncing on my bed throwing paper balls at me while I study." Everyone laughed, since they all knew she meant Tomo.

It made Kagura feel oddly proud of the way Yomi was talking about her. If she had any doubts or fears left, Yomi was quickly erasing them. She volunteered to help clean up with Yomi, but Mrs Mizuhara shooed the two girls out of the kitchen.

Kagura dropped onto Yomi's bed and relaxed. "Wow, your parents are really nice."

"That's what everyone thinks the first time you meet them. Wait till they warm up to you a bit, then watch out!" She mimicked a fake pouncing move with a grin.

Kagura smiled at the ceiling. "Thanks for having me over today. And for dinner, and for the help with the homework."

Yomi sat down beside her. "Thanks for coming over two days in a row. I..." she hesitated, but then spoke quickly, "I don't want you to think I stuck to the homework because I was avoiding you or something. You know, avoiding what we talked about yesterday."

Kagura sat up, "I know you're not avoiding anything. If you were, you wouldn't have sat with me half the day at school or invited me over to your home. I know you haven't given me an answer in words yet, but your answer in actions has been as much as I could have hoped for." She saw Yomi blush and look away, so she quickly added, "Not that I mean to presume anything. I guess what I mean is that if you wanted to avoid me, you could have. Hell, you could have completely shunned me and I might have deserved it. But you didn't.

"So," Kagura continued, "did you want to talk about it now?"

"Mmm," Yomi started with a nod, "I want to let you know that what I said yesterday wasn't completely true."

"Huh? What part?"

Yomi turned a little redder and said, "When I said it was sudden, that was true. But when I said I had never thought about it before... well... I have thought about it a few times. You know, having a girlfriend."

Kagura nodded. "Sure, that makes sense. Let me guess. Tomo?" She saw the startled look on Yomi's face and the slight nod. "Do you mind if I ask a question about her?"

"Like what? Nothing too serious ever happened you know."

"Yeah, ok, but I guess if I have competition then I would rather know up front," Kagura stated. "I really need to know, Yomi. What are your feelings for Tomo?"


The air was getting cold as Tomo left the park. After school she had wandered off by herself to be alone for a while. The park had seemed a nice place to get away from everyone, but the memories of the day had followed her there as well. After distracting herself by watching children play on swings and climb on the play structures, she finally headed for home.

Today had been just as bad as yesterday, maybe worse. Could Yomi really be falling in love with Kagura? Why else would she have drawn their names together like that? Clearly Kagura was being protective of Yomi, so it must be mutual feelings, not just a one-sided crush. So what did that mean, were they lovers? How far had this gone, and how long had it been kept secret? Was it too late?

Tomo stopped in her tracks. Too late for what?

She stretched her arms and back as she looked upwards, seeing the blue sky turning purple and the clouds shimmering with the last of the fading daylight. How long had she been at that park anyhow?

Too many questions pounced around in the wildcat's head. She wasn't used to this kind of confusion. Just as messed up, there was the deal with Osaka.

She felt horrible about letting Osaka get hurt like that, but even stranger was Osaka's reaction when she woke up. The school nurse had come in and taken over and the principal had fretted over the scene, calling for transport to the local hospital to get an x-ray and most likely some stitches. Tomo had tried to stay back, watch from a distance. But she was getting cold glares from Yomi and Kagura. Even Sakaki had seemed somehow disapproving.

Tomo had felt tears welling up in her eyes and she fought them back. That was one thing Tomo would never allow. She would never again feel so sorry for herself that she would cry in public. Not guilt, not shame, not embarrassments, she wouldn't let herself cry.

But while all this went on, Osaka had dreamily lay on the floor and called Tomo to her. She came to her side and Osaka grabbed Tomo's hand and quietly whispered "Don't go nowheres", then covered her own eyes with her other hand. It was clear Osaka was in a lot of pain, and if Tomo could make her feel a little better by being beside her, then that was the least she could do.

She had stayed with her until the ambulance had taken her. They had been quite reassuring to Osaka, nothing too serious, just a precaution, et cetera. As they took her out, Osaka suddenly said "It was nice of you to kiss me like that, but next time be a little more careful, 'kay?"


"That's a hard question to answer. I mean, we have been friends forever." Yomi stated slowly.

Kagura swung her legs over the edge of the bed. "Yeah, I understand that. But I mean if you have thought about it, then-"

Yomi stopped her there. "It's not like that. I don't sit around thinking about it, nor have I ever said anything to her. I wouldn't. She would either laugh at me or create a big scene like she did this afternoon. No, I would never say anything like that to her. And honestly I was kinda hoping not to mention this... us... to her for a while at least. At least until you and I had a chance to talk a little.

Yomi put her head in her hands for a moment before she continued, "Like I said, this is all so sudden and I'm not totally sure how I feel about it. Then to have Tomo try to make it the spotlight of the whole class... Dammit, that just makes it so much harder."

The athlete nodded in understanding. "I was trying my best to keep it low pressure on you." Then she laughed a bit, "Well, really there is no way to drop that on someone without some surprise. But I agree, I certainly wasn't planning on hanging a big banner off the school rooftop tomorrow or anything."

Yomi leaned back and thought about the question before her. "Tomo as a girlfriend. Well, it has never been like that with us. We have always been close, but not that kind of close. Tomo likes to play pranks on me, I'm sure you know. Well, when we were in middle school, some of them started to turn a bit more sexual in nature. We were at that age, thirteen, fourteen years old and jokes about that kind of thing were becoming more common."

She stood up for a moment to stretch her legs as she continued. "Tomo started doing silly stuff to piss me off. Like walking up behind me in the hall and yanking the back of my skirt up and yelling out the color of my underwear, or asking loudly how many days I had been wearing them. And when I tried to get back at her by doing the same thing to her, she would jump away and say 'If you wanted to see my panties so badly, you should have just asked', then she would grab fistfulls of the front of her own skirt. Facing me, she would lean back against the wall and start pulling her hem up, but super-super slow. She would bite her lip and make little noises and if anyone was around she would announce that I had been begging her to see her panties."

Kagura had to laugh at this, as Yomi drew a very vivid mental picture with her words. It was easy to see Tomo doing something like that, and in fact she had seen a number of Tomo's locker room antics herself.

Yomi grinned both at the memories and at Kagura's reaction to it and said, "She also likes to sneak up behind me and say 'guess who' but its never my eyes she reaches for." She made a clutching gesture with both her hands.

"What?!" Kagura laughed with Yomi.

"Yeah, the first time she did it... well, the first time she did it in public, it was third year of Jr High. You have to understand, by that time I was, uh, developing boobs more than the other girls in our class. We were walking in through the front door of the classroom and she slipped up behind me. Right there in front of everyone, she gave them a grab. I was so shocked I jerked my arm back to knock her off and I hit her right in the face with my elbow."

"Ouch."

"Yeah, next time you talk to her, notice this," and Yomi smiled to show her front teeth, tapping at the second tooth on the right. "I hit her so hard, I split her lip and broke her tooth. That one is capped. The entire class was screaming with laughter over what Tomo did and my reaction as well. Tomo hit the floor in the doorway and sat there spitting out blood and bits of her busted tooth. I asked if she was ok and she just gave me a blood-spattered grin and said 'I guess I had that one coming, didn't I? Score one for Koyomi.'"

"So did that make her stop?"

Yomi arched an eyebrow, "What do you think? Of course not. She just learned to stay out of elbow range. And she doesn't play that trick in public anymore."

"But she still does it, just not in public?"

The brunette averted her gaze for a moment and thought about how to answer that one. "Sometimes." She pointed at the desk. "Sometimes she comes over when I am studying. She will lean over me to see what I am doing, or just to mess with whatever I am working on, like dropping a million tiny bits of torn up paper over my head and desk like snow. She mashes up against me from behind and yeah, sometimes she'll still play that trick. As long as she is that close, she knows I can't get an elbow at her.

"Oh god, I could tell you a bunch of these kind of things, but I bet you have seen half of them yourself. I know you have been there for a few of them. But it's always the same really, Tomo trying to embarrass me or make me look stupid."

Kagura slowly said, "Uh, Yomi. Perhaps some of that is just Tomo being her crazy self, but I think at least part of it has to be a come-on of some kind. That's pretty extreme."

Yomi shook her head, "I thought so too, at times. But she always jumps out of reach and makes a big joke out of it, usually with me being on the losing end of the joke. If I even seem to take it a little serious, then she really makes fun of me."

Yomi's expression turned more serious as she struggled for the words, "The harder I try to explain what Tomo means to me, the harder it is to explain. We have been together since the very beginning of elementary school. We have played together, fought, and made up. We have gone to each other's birthday parties every year." Her voice grew quieter as she continued, "I stayed with her after her father died. It was just awful. It was the hardest time for Tomo. I'm not sure I could even describe it. And then only two years later when her mom got remarried, Tomo totally freaked out. She basically lived here with us off and on for a couple months."

Yomi blinked back a couple of tears that wetted her eyelashes. "Tomo and I have been through a lot of shit together. If I look back at the important times in my life, she was always there." Yomi tried to laugh, "True, sometimes she was there causing trouble, but she was there." She pulled off her glasses and wiped her eyes with a tissue. "Sorry, sorry."

"Don't be. I understand, that is some serious shit. I am kinda jealous in a way. Not just because of competition for my girlfriend, but mostly because I think it's cool that you have a friend like that. Through thick and thin, as they say. I've never had a friend like that."

Yomi put her glasses back on, "That can't be true. You have lots of friends."

"Not like that. Did you know that this is the first time in my life I have gone to school in the same place for three years in a row? My dad's job keeps him moving around the country a lot. I did elementarty school in Nagasaki, Tokyo and Kobe; middle school in Kobe and Yokohama; now back to Tokyo for high school. So it's all been on Honshu, but all over the place. My point is, I think it's great that you can have a friend like Tomo who has been with you for all that stuff, good and bad. The best and the worst. So if I say I am jealous, that doesn't mean I want to jeopardize your friendship with her. I don't," she gave a small sly smile, "but I do want to steal a little of your time away from her."

"I don't get you Kagura. I really don't. I'm not complaining! I just don't understand how you picked me to be interested in. I... I am flattered by it and I..." she sighed, "I mean if you are going to fall for another girl, why not Sakaki?"

Kagura sat up with a laugh, "Sakaki?!"

"Yeah. She is beautiful. Way prettier than me. And she is tall and has that long flowing hair. She is super-athletic like you, so you would probably be able to go do stuff together. You know, like rock climbing, that is what I meant. No way am I going to be swinging on a rope-"

"What makes you think I want to go rock climbing?"

Yomi waved her hands, "That's just an example. You are very healthy, strong and athletic. You probably like doing various outdoors stuff sometimes. Sakaki would be good at that. Me, not so much. Plus, she's super smart too."

"If you're trying to talk me out of being interested in you, it isn't working," Kagura smirked.

"No!" Yomi laughed, "I just don't understand why you would pick me with someone like Sakaki around."

"Hmm, to some extent we can all say that. Why would anyone be interested in me with Sakaki around? But you are missing one important point. Sakaki may be smart, pretty and athletic, but so are you. Most importantly, there is one thing she just isn't and will never be."

After a moment of silence, Kagura leaned toward her friend and said, "She will never be Yomi," and kissed her gently on the lips.


The Next Day

The girls were wondering if Osaka would be in school today, considering her injury the day before. Much to their surprise, she was already sitting at her desk. However, she was wearing a black stocking cap on top of her head. It was pulled down in front to the tops of her eyebrows, on the sides to completely cover her ears and in the back it stretched down to cover her neck.

"Good morning Miss Osaka!" Chiyo piped up at once. "I am so glad to see you in school today!" Osaka returned Chiyo's greeting with a big smile. Tomo breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

Kagura stepped up to Osaka and asked, "Are you feeling better today? Last time I saw you, they were pulling your scrawny butt outta here on a stretcher."

"Oh yeah, I seem to be ok now," Osaka yawned.

Yomi looked her over, "So what's with the hat?"

"Well, I kinda had to wear it because of my hair."

"What do you mean?" Kagura asked.

"Ya see, I had to cut all my hair off. It gets a little chilly in the morning without no hair on my head."

"What?" the girls cried out. Chiyo spoke for them all as she asked, "Whatever for?"

Osaka looked a little perplexed. "When I was in the hospital, they had to put some stitches in my head. In order to do that, they had to snip just a little bit of my hair off, so as not to get it stuck in the stitches. And that was no problem. But when I got home, I was in my room lookin at it in the mirror and it just looked uneven. So I got out my scissors and tried to even it out." She looked down at her feet, "I never have been too good with scissors, so I just started snippin away. Next thing ya know, I was done."

Tomo's eyes were huge, "You mean, you cut it down to... what, a crew cut?"

"It woulda been that, but I didn't like the way it felt, so I shaved it off."

"You shaved your head? Bald? As in completely bald?" Kagura stammered.

"Well yeah. It woulda looked funny if I left it in bits and pieces, dontcha think?"

Tomo sat down hard. "I can't believe you did that!"

Osaka grinned at her friends, "Ok I lied."

"What?" Yomi yelled, "You didn't cut your hair off?"

"Yes, actually I did, but not because of that. It was because Tomo dumped me." Osaka explained.

Tomo looked in shock, "Dumped you? I never dumped you! I accidentally dropped you, but-"

Osaka grinned, "Oh, good. I'm glad were still together then," and with one swift move she pulled off her black cap and her long black hair spilled down like normal. "Ha, I was just kidding. I wouldn't shave my head. I got you good with that one."

All five girls reeled backwards in stunned relief to see her hair looking pretty much normal, if perhaps a bit messy from the hat. Kagura was laughing hard at the space cadet's prank.

Yomi shook her head and said, "So if you didn't wear the stocking cap because you cut your hair, why did you wear it? Just to play a trick on us?"

Osaka carefully put the cap back on her head, this time allowing her hair to flow out behind her to her shoulders. "No, actually it does still hurt and I decided I should use it as padding on my head. Now that Tomo and I are together, I figure since I have such a clumsy lover it's probably better to be safe than sorry." And with that she stood up and walked directly to Tomo, kissing her right on the lips, much to her surprise.

Osaka smiled at her friends. "See? Good padding makes sense. I always hear my daddy say to my older brother: 'Love is a wonderful thing, but make sure to wear protection.' So I figure a good layer of padding on my head is the best way to start."

Her bespectacled friend tried to help, "You know, that probably isn't the kind of protection your dad was talking about..."

"Yeah, and that's got me thinkin. As clumsy as Tomo is, she might just drop me down the stairs next time she tries to kiss me, or flip me right off the bed the first time she tries to-"

"Hey! I'm standing right here! Don't talk about me like I'm invisible!" Tomo shouted.

Osaka smiled apologetically, "Sorry, sorry. But I think maybe I should get myself something more sturdy. Like a suit of samurai armor. Maybe the kind Lady Tomoe used to wear. I think I'd wanna add lots of silk and ribbons too."

"Tomoe Gozen, the legendary female samurai of the Heian era?" asked Chiyo.

"Yeah, that's her. That reminds me, Chiyo-chan, I was thinking about something. In my last year of middle school, we took a class trip to a museum in Osaka. There was lots of interesting stuff there, and there was a full suit of samurai armor standing in a glass case."

"Oh yes, those are very fascinating," Chiyo nodded.

Osaka continued, "So what I was wondering is this. How did they get that armor to stand up like that? But then I figured it out. They found a dead samurai and stuffed and mounted him, still in his armor. Then they put him on display, forever wearing his finest."

Sakaki stepped back from Osaka pulling Chiyo with her. Kagura and Tomo looked at each other, "Is that how they do it?"

"No you idiots," Yomi interjected, "That is NOT how they do it." She looked at Osaka, "Haven't you ever been to a department store in your life? You know how they have clothes up on mannequins? Well, that was what they had inside the armor."

"I didn't know they had department stores hundreds of years ago," Osaka mused. "Maybe that is where Lady Tomoe would go shoppin after a hard day of choppin off heads."


A/N

Tomoe Gozen. A famous samurai woman well known to any Japanese school children. She holds a position in history somewhere similar to the west's fascination with Joan of Arc or Robin Hood. She is real (like Joan) but is surrounded by myth and fiction (like Robin). A few movies and a couple TV series have been based on her, and she has appeared in a couple anime too. Go check Wikipedia, very cool.

Next chapter coming soon!

What will happen in chapter five? Will a handsome and mysterious transfer student named... uh... Jack suddenly appear in the story for no reason? Will all six girls fall madly in love with him like a really bad harem anime? Will there be a huge catfight as the girls try to prove who loves him more, involving hair pulling and tearing off clothes?!

Oops, Jack is dead. He perished in a tragic blender accident. I guess there won't be any OC romance in this story after all, so perhaps we will go for some more shoujo-ai and maybe even pump up the heat?


-

-

Come on Osaka, he's dead. You can quit pushing buttons on the blender now.


-

-

And quit giggling. I am the one who gets stuck cleaning up this mess.