By the time Yurio left, it was May.
And so did Yuuri's drive, or so it seemed to Victor as he waited for Yuuri in the rink.
The doors of the ice rink flew open as Yuuri rushed in, all the while screaming apologies. Victor suppressed the bolt of anger, it was useless being angry; Victor Nikiforov was not going to be a victim of his feelings, He was in charge. Him. Not the Omega part of his treacherous body.
So, Victor smiled and made a quip about Aeroflot.
Victor drew his index finger across his lip in contemplation as he observed Yuuri skating across the ice.
This wouldn't do. Not if he was going to win the gold, and he was going to win the gold.
Yuuri's body didn't so much as cut the air, but made it give way, like the parting of the seas, whenever he moved. Even Victor couldn't do that, make the space complement him rather than resent his presence. But Yuuri could. He wasn't just skating to the music, he was creating it with every sweep of his arm and look from his eyes.
And if the way he couldn't move his eyes from Yuuri was an indication, Victor could see how Yuuri had gotten so far without perfecting his jumps.
Guess Yuuri's presentation skills would have to make up for only having one quad.
And Yuuri would have to listen to him, he was, after all His Coach.
So maybe using Yuuri's obvious fan-worship for him, to convince him wasn't exactly the moral thing to do. But Victor was determined to win, and if he was able to do that while stretching Yuuri's leg to his shoulder, so be it.
"Uh, sorry" Yuuri mumbled on the phone to his former coach, Celestino Cialdini. Victor looked away from his locker, this wasn't going well and he had to bring the conversation back on track, otherwise Yuuri would spend the whole day apologizing for imagined wrongs.
He swept up to Yuuri, and took the phone from him, putting it on speaker, and said, "Ciao Ciao Celestino. I'm his coach, Victor!"
So maybe his emphasis on the "I" wasn't missed if the scornful way Celestino replied to him was an indication. But, Victor had been playing this game for a long time, and Celestino was the one who had given up on Yuuri, by not pushing him out of his comfort zone, and Victor wasn't about to repeat his mistakes.
Yuuri wasn't going to walk away from him.
"Yuri only brought me a piece once, I believe it was composed by an acquaintance. It wasn't bad but…." Celestino trailed off.
Victor was hurt when Celestino said Yuuri had brought him music once. Yuuri hadn't mentioned this to him. Didn't he realize Victor was his coach now? Didn't Yuuri take him seriously enough? Was it the fan-worship or was it…..
No. There was no way Yuuri even suspected.
It had to be that Yuuri wasn't comfortable with him, which hurt in a different way.
Victor's phone pinged, he looked over from where he was cuddling Makkachin after a lukewarm day at practice, in which Yuuri leapt everytime Victor came anywhere close to him, and had finally ended the whole disappointing day by running away at the end of practice to predictably Minako's studio.
(And Victor was not ready to examine his feelings about that. Not yet anyway.)
He picked up his phone, only to be greeted by Christophe Giacometti in a red speedo winking at him. He smiled, and picked up the phone.
"Victor!" Chris yelled along with the background noise of what sounded like a busy club.
"Chris." Victor returned more sedately, yet even Victor could hear the smile in his voice. But he couldn't help it, hearing the Alpha's voice was like a balm for his current feelings. Apart from Yurio, Chris was the one person Victor could call a friend. After Chris had gotten over his fan-worship (And why did all of Victor's relationship start with them being avid fans? But then if he made that the exclusionary factor, he wouldn't be able to be friends with anyone in the skating world) they had bonded together, at first, as beautiful people in close proximity are wont to do, and later as aging skating legends who everyone was hoping would slink off to retirement quietly. Victor enjoyed biting his thumb at the world with Chris every year.
"How are you, Vitya? Retirement treating you well, Old Man?"
Victor's smile twitched as he suddenly remembered that he had given up on their unspoken promise to one another first. Chris would be biting his thumb alone this year.
"I'm well, Chris. How're you?"
Chris made a "tchya" sound with his teeth and said, "So formal now you're on the other side, huh, Victor? So, what's the deal?"
Feigning ignorance, Victor said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Chris."
"Always knew you liked me begging, Victor. Okay, I'll bite. Is the sex that good that you're willing to leave everything behind?" Chris huffed, sounding raw towards the end.
Victor softened at that, and said, "It's not like that, Chris."
Chris scoffed, "Yeah right. He's a cute one, your Yuuri. But he isn't anything spectacular, darling. What is going on, Victor?"
Victor felt a rush of conflicting emotions, possessiveness at the possessive epithet, anger at Chris for abusing Yuuri ( his Yuuri was plenty spectacular), fondness for his old friend and sympathy for the betrayal he must be feeling.
Chris continued, heedless of the emotions his words invoked - or maybe counting on it - and said, "I've never seen you so much as glance at someone before, and now you're flying across the world for some kid you've never even met! Is Victor Nikiforov going to be wasted on some Omega who doesn't even know how to jump proper-"
"Chris." Victor said, quietly, precisely, devoid of his usual cheer.
Chris stopped.
Victor said nothing, leaving the silence to speak for himself. Until, Chris finally said, "I'm just repeating what everyone is saying, Vitya. That some Omega turned your head around. Is that it, are you in trouble?"
Victor pursed his lips, unwilling to show his deep rage to even Makkachin, and stilled. He slowly cocked his head, and drew up and enunciated slowly, "I'm not the one between us who gets in trouble, Chris."
The empty beat thundered like a drum.
Victor continued, "And furthermore, Yuuri is beautiful and extraordinary and brilliant. He has the capacity to leave everyone in his dust. I'm just getting out of his way while I have time, and choosing the right side."
A beat.
"It's like that, is it." Chris returned weakly.
"It's like that." Victor said firmly.
"Well then I better get on the right side then." Chris said, and Victor can hear the smile in his voice.
Victor smiled, and bowed his head in relief.
Victor could see Yuuri hesitatingly approaching with his phone. Victor did his best to appear unthreatening. He had practice doing it for small children who approached him for autographs and pictures.
"V-Victor." Yuuri said, his accent, thicker than usual, turning it into "B-Bictor."
Victor raised his eyebrows slightly, and smiled.
Yuuri just closed his eyes and shoved his phone at Victor. Victor, keeping his movements slow so as to not spook Yuuri, took it carefully.
And he listened.
Disappointed.
The music was weak, trailing off in places it shouldn't. Was this how Yuuri saw himself? Victor felt a flare of anger, Is this how he thinks the world sees him? Victor smiled to suppress his anger - anger, that he realized to his surprise, wasn't because of Yuuri, but on Yuuri's behalf. That had never happened before. Victor blinked, never before had he been so agitated on the behalf of someone else, because of someone else, yes, but never like this.
Victor smiled to snap out of this realization, and noticing that Yuuri was practically chewing his fingernails in panic, said "Maybe you should think of other possibilities"
He handed the phone to Yuuri distractedly, and was quiet the whole evening. He had some thinking to do.
Victor had flown to Japan because he had known since that night that Yuuri and he had something special. The kind of thing people spend their whole careers trying to capture on ice.
But he had never expected Yuuri to worm his way inside Victor so completely. He thought he could fall in love with Yuuri safely, with all his shields attached. While holding Yuuri at a distance. He had never expected Yuuri to snake his way in, spread himself over Victor and latch on.
Victor breathed in, panic suffusing through his body. No, he couldn't let Yuuri do this to him. It was just the novelty of it all. All he had to do was expose himself to Yuuri, get used to him, and this feeling would go away. That's what science said. It was just the blush of new love.
Yes. That's what he would do.
So Victor tried to push himself onto Yuuri further and further, and asked Yuuri if he wanted to sleep together, asked Yuuri if he wanted to watch a movie together, asked Yuuri if he wanted to go to the onsen together, asked until Yuuri, Yuuri, Yuuri was all that he could hear. Well that and the sound of Yuuri walking away.
Then one day Yuuri didn't show up to practice.
Victor found him quivering under his blankets, in his bed, screaming something in Japanese. The obvious panic in his voice calmed the rough seas in his chest somewhat, to the extent where he was able to smile brightly and say, "Let's go to the ocean."
Yuuri agreed.
The sand under his feet, and Makkachin's fur under his fingers grounded him enough so he could do what he had been expecting Yuuri to do from the beginning, without offering him anything in return. Victor had been expecting Yuuri to bare all, solely on the virtue of Victor being Victor Nikiforov, and the fact that Victor had given up everything to help Yuuri bring home the gold.
But he could see now that Yuuri too had sacrificed something to pursue the gold.
His peace of mind, security and safety.
It was Victor's turn. He needed to reach forward first, and trust that Yuuri would reach back.
So, he spoke about St. Petersburg. About the sea gulls and home.
And Yuuri told him a story.
"Yuuri, you're not weak, no one thinks that either," Victor said, smiling softly.
Now for the scariest part, the question Victor had been contemplating since his arrival, "What do you want me to be to you? A father figure?"
Yuuri quietly, but firmly said, "No."
"A brother then, a friend?" Victor continued.
"No." Yuuri returned softly.
"Your Sweetheart then? Okay, I'll try my best." Victor said mischievously.
If the way Yuuri had leapt up to frantically disagree wasn't so hilarious, Victor would've taken offense. But it was, so he laughed in response.
"I want you to be who you are, Victor." Yuuri said, a trace of the delicious Alpha-ness coming through in his voice.
Victor's laughter cut, as he gazed up at Yuuri, who was looking at him determinedly. Victor felt a warmth rush through his body, filling him up with infinite courage, like he could take on the world.
"I've always looked up to you, Victor. I ignored you because I didn't want you to see my shortcomings, But I'll make it up to you with my skating." Yuuri said like it was a promise.
Victor smiled and extended his hand towards Yuuri, and said, "Then I won't let you off easy. That's my way of showing my love."
Yuuri grasped his hand in Victor's firmly, and nodded.
Watch out, Yuuri, because you're going to be worked harder than any skater in the world.
