~ Trenton ~
The sweet solace of my own bed was all I needed to stay sane. Yet, here I am under the foreign sheets of the hotel bed. Even under them and my sweatshirt, I still felt cold. Frigid. Freezing. Much like the hostility I received from Josephine.
Usually, after an incident like this, it was take me days, or even weeks, to recover. But now, I fear that this might never go away. This … pain. Just a mere passing thought of anything she said to me gave me a pain that erupted in my core— like a stabbing knife. Especially if I thought about her vague last note on how she is the reason I am on the island in the first place. Never before had I felt this much mental enclosure. I felt as though I was cornered and in a dark room. The walls were closing in around me and a pressure started within my mind. A cocktail of emotions were bubbling within my core. A mixture of hopelessness and failure induced a sensation of worry and anxiety inside me. I felt like puking. It was a pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I've been through this pain before, but not since the incident. It had been so long, I thought I forgot the sensation entirely. It is obvious now I am gravely mistaken.
I had never been so hurt in my entire life. It was the day Cameron just up and dumped me for another. Some girl named Jennifer or whatever. And it wasn't the fact that he broke up with me just out of the blue (I would have faired better if he had just done that) but it was the fact that he did it as a spectacle in front of the whole school. He just walked up to me with his arm wrapped around her waist, grabbing her ass and just announced, "Trenton, we're done." People around me began to laugh and jeer, as usual taking Cameron's side. Once again, I was a miserable runt of the student body, a reject as usual. I just stood there, falling from grace while people looked on laughing or cowering in fear of the school's golden boy and just looking at the result latest relationship move.
The magical two months I had with him came unexpectedly. How could I ever expect the most amazing boy in the school just randomly came up to me one day and swept me off my feet. Literally, he came up to me one Friday while I was putting away my stuff at the end of the day, all beautifully clad in his purple and yellow football jersey, and picked me up and wouldn't let me down until I agreed to go out on a date with him. I agreed, out of sheer surprise and wanting to be let down, and it would be that night after the football game. He knew I was going to be there, being in band and all.
And in one night, I managed to go from the kid who isn't given a second thought to right next to the center of attention. It was a different feeling— different in the best way possible. It wasn't that I hated not being on top, I was content with where I was. But now I suddenly have all this positive attention and I loved it. I even began to break out of the shell I was in for so long and be social for once. Not just that either, in one night I managed to fall so hard for someone who ultimately cared so little about me.
It all came crumbling down in the span of that one sentence: "Trenton, we're done."
And back to present day, I am currently in my bed in experiencing the same extricating mental and physical pain.
I remained balled up on my side on one side of the bed but after a while, I turned around to the other side. Something crumpled under my side. I shifted up to see the letter I had gotten from Josephine, still unopened.
My curiosity got the better of my actions in a second, and I opened it. I suppose I was looking for some silver lining of hope in my despair to help me get through. I pulled the piece of paper out and began to read,
Trenton,
Congratulations! Your acceptance into the Jurassic World Internship Abroad means you are well on your way to a thrilling career in anthropology and biological replication. Such a career will take you all around the world and all through time and provide a thrilling and satisfying job in a market that is rising with our advances here in Jurassic World. Who knows? Maybe one day you will return back right here to be the successor to one of our many scientists and professionals who provide the world with a living, breathing history of the earth.
On the tenth of January, please report to the front of the Innovation Center. Someone will escort you to your quarters and give you further instructions on what to do there.
Jurassicly yours,
Claire Dearing, Park Operations Manager.
It provided with me with very little solace— especially with the tenth being so far away from now. Though, I did occupy my thoughts with "Jurassically yours" for some odd reason.
I let out a sigh and a severe pain shot up through my body again. Of course the letter was no help, it was only a formality to tell me where to meet. Why did we have to come here a whole two weeks before the internship starts? My dad and grandma deserve this vacation because they have invested a tremendous amount in me with my mental health. Now … all undone. Because of her.
"Trenton, you in here?" The soft voice of my grandmother came in from the hallway. I grimaced with a tight frown and wince before ducking under the blankets completely. I stayed completely still, hoping she would go away, thinking I was asleep.
She pulled back the covers to uncover a pale-faced Trenton, peacefully "sleeping" away the exhaustion from the flight and ferry into the island. But alas, a simple, peaceful countenance and closed eyes could not elude Grandma Sylvia.
"Oh nooooooo," she elongated the nasally 'o', though the empathy was still blatantly evident in her voice. "She got to you, didn't see?"
I pulled the covers back over me and muttered out my infamous catchphrase: "Leave me alone."
She didn't say anything. The only sounds were a sigh and a the shuffle of slipped out of my room. That was strangely easy. Worryingly easy. She never lets me just be alone like that.
Only thirty seconds later, she came back. I could tell what was in her hand by the sound it made. Pills in a bottle. And I knew immediately what they were: my antidepressants. Before she could say anything or pull back the covers, I let out my plea, "No, please god no."
"Trenton, you have to!"
"No …" I pled. I not only hated the side effects of it, but also the return to lowest point of my life. I was done with that, right?
"Your father said I shouldn't have brought them, but look who was right and who needs them, right now."
I needed to take these pills. It was the only I could escape the hell I was in.
The pills never made me feel better— all they did was take away the depressed part of my depression. In doing so, they seemed take away all of my emotions. It took me from sadness to not caring at all about anything. Not much of a difference, but they were the only ones that worked for me. Yet, that was the result I was stuck with. I don't take them any more because in the past year, I've been getting better with dealing with depression. I was able to manage it with the help of my family and friends as well and focused on the studies it used to hinder. But when I used to take them, it was a vile cycle of depression and apathy for nearly and entire year. A Catch 22 of the worst kind.
I slowly peeked out from under the covers and let out a sigh. My grandma had a blank, yet still intimidating look on her face. She was like a statue. An old, sassy, Yiddish statue holding out a pill in her hand and a glass of water in her other. I clenched my jaw and got out of the bed.
I sighed, "Grandma … it …." I didn't even bring myself to answer her entirely.
"Listen," she said, disregarding my last remark. "I'm not going to ask you what your mother said or did to you— unless she put her hands on you!" She suddenly stopped speaking with an intense look in her eyes. I shook my head, stepping back. "Good, but I won't ask what happened. I'm just … going to take you somewhere." She put the bottle and water down on the nightstand.
"What … where?"
"Something that I know with my grandmother's intuition that will also help you feel better."
There's something about that old Yiddish woman's grip on my wrist that made me contemplate the benefits of gnawing my arm off. I barely focused on the road ahead of us. Mostly, I kept my head down and I only knew we must have been outside along the main road. All I saw were various shoes of all kind and around me, chattering voices occasionally drowned out by announcements over the loudspeaker.
I was lead somewhere by the big old lady clad in yellow that I know and love as my grandmother. Though, at times like this her tough loves is harsh against my very tender mental health. But as she lead me to some enclosed space where the floor was made of wood. Suddenly we jerked to a halt. "Look," she stated simply.
I looked up to look through a window of strong glass concaving outward after it jetted out from an artificial log. The view was that of a large woodland area filled with trees with small clearings here and there and one eyesore that stuck out harshly. A gray slab of concrete with a pole attached to it. And attached to the pole, a goat.
My brows furrowed into a taut crease. "Where …" I began, turning to see my grandmother's intense glare focused on me once again.
"Watch," she commanded.
Ten seconds later, from the depths of the forest, came a might roar. I let out a gasp and my eyes shot in the direction it came from. From the thick brush, a large green mass came barreling in from the distance. My heart leapt into my throat as the colossal beast came thundering through the trees, still not hitting a single one even with her magnificent size. People around me started to chatter and cheer, taking pictures on their phones of the feeding. But not me. Every thrilling second was being engraved into my memory; set in stone. This was the first time I was seeing a live dinosaur. Everything that I had studied to get where I am today, here and now, has suddenly been validated.
The Tyrannosaurs Rex came right up to the observatory where the goat stood helpless and terrified. With one swift movement, the colossus picked the goat up with its mouth and tore it from he pole, throwing it nearly fifty feet into the air. We all watched as it fell right into the mouth of the green beast. With one bite, it was obliterated. Everyone began to cheer, but it wasn't over. After the beast swallowed it whole she gave one final roar. My blood ran cold with an exhilarating fear and my excitement quickly brought me to shout and cheer for the display I just saw.
This is it. This is why I'm here.
"This is why you're here, remember?" My grandma asked me. Through the beaming smile and sheer wave of happiness that enveloped me, I quickly wrapped my arms around her, giving her a tight squeeze.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"Of course, sweetheart! What did you think, I was gonna let you sit in that room all day because of what some broad in a pantsuit said to you," she pulled away. "Plus, I don't know how you deal with this heat in that. Ugh, I'm shvitzing." I let out a laugh and realized that I was a little heated up after that spectacular ordeal. The deep freeze was gone. "Trenton, you know you're stuck on this island because you worked to be here. Your father and I are extremely proud of the work that you put into this! Don't let your motha' get to ya'. You're a strong boy who I know will have the time of your life here. And … who knows," she gave me a cheeky look at of a sudden, nudging me with her elbow and a small wink. "maybe you'll pick up a boy to bring home!" I let out a chuckle and little bit of an embarrassed blush.
"I honestly doubt I will."
"Hey don't say that because you never know. And I'm not saying you have to find one, but if you do … ask if he has a widowed grandfather."
"Grandma!" But she was not done yet,
"And if he's got an oxygen tank, tell me what color it is so I can paint my nails to match!"
"Oh my gosh …." I sighed, both blushing profusely and trying vainly to contain my laughter.
"C'mon, let's stop for some ice cream on the way back. I think I saw a Ben and Jerry's— safe to say if I ever get lost in the park, check there first."
"I'll keep that in mind. But, you go ahead. I just need another minute here."
"Take your time, sweetheart." She went on her way after giving that final note.
I gazed back at the beast, still wandering close by the observation deck. The crowd had all but dispersed with only a few people let watching her as she scanned the area looking for more goats. For just a moment, I swore out eyes met ….
The entire experience was just magical, though, for some odd reason, my entire focus wasn't on the dinosaur. My mind was lingering more than I wanted it to on my grandmother's suggestion about finding someone.
Me? Find someone here? Don't be ridiculous. I'm Trenton White: the boring, scrawny, pale, weak kid from Nowhere, USA. I'm nothing special; plain. People don't go for me. Before Dennis, I did not even think about dating. But after I had that euphoric feeling of being in love, I was left with a hunger of wanting more. Yet, more never came. I'm left what I am today: apathetic and even more boring.
I let out a sigh, looking back towards the direction where my grandmother went, only to find that she made it only fifty feet. I shook the thoughts from my head and was about follow her when someone stepped in front of me. I wasn't until they said anything that I realized they were talking to me.
"Hey."
I looked up and standing just a few inches taller than me was a boy about my age. He couldn't have been older than me, but the way he stood he gave that mature aura, though I still could tell he was a peer. The way he dressed seemed rather teenage: a red shirt with a light gray hoodie, unzipped. His hair looked somewhat disheveled and greasy, as did his face. He looked like he hadn't showered in sometime. But he did have these wonderful chocolate colored eyes. And his pink lips were in a warm and beautiful smile. I couldn't think of any reason as to why he is talking to me, but I knew he was expecting an answer, so I didn't delve into the possibilities. I didn't think much for a reply, my mind preoccupied and all, but I gave one that's not unusual for me to give, "I … have to go."
And with that, I stepped around him and went to meet up with my grandma, forgetting all about the incident by the time I got my ice cream.
A/N: Trenton, you precious little cinnamon bun, you ... you're so sweet, so pure, so ... damn ignorant. I can see Zach now and it's tragic how heartbroken he looks
*internal cackling*
BUT GUYS OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS :") The reviews are so awesome and all the follows and favorites I'm getting really, really, make this all worthwhile! Thank you for the reviews PartyAnimal135, LegandsOfTime, and meangirl8. And to all the peeps following and favoriting I just ... *hyperventilates* keep ... them ... coming *gasp*
*faints*
Butinthenextchaptertheytalkalot SO STAY TUNED! :D
