I was right. It's getting sillier.
Love By Any Other Name - Chapter Four
Hermione hummed to herself as she stepped down the hallway to Transfiguration class. Having finished her homework early last night, she had resumed dancing on the bed once she made sure Snape wasn't under it. All in all, a productive night.
And now, only one class remained in the day. After that, she would throw away the mugwump weed and get on with her life.
She sighed, slowing her steps. She hated abandoning her plan to see into Snape's subconscious, but at the rate he was following her, he would catch on and she would be punished.
Hermione snickered to herself. If Snape was the one doing the punishing...
Her mind drifted.
"I knew all about your little plan, Miss Granger," Snape snarled, his thins fingers closed around her wrist.
"Oh no!" Hermione breathed, heaving her bosom as the romance novels had taught her. "Where are you taking me?"
"The Forbidden Forest," Snape said. Under the moonlight, his silky hair flew behind him as he walked. With a flick of his head, he moved a strand across his smooth pale skin. His parted lips were moistened by a dart of his tongue.
"Oh Professor. Let me go! Please let me go!"
Swirling, he pushed her against the nearest tree. "Never!" he cried, pressing his lips against hers.
Having never been properly kissed, Hermione had to substitute.
Pop
"Miss Granger?"
Hermione opened her eyes and was greeted by Professor McGonagall's glowering visage.
"Kindly stop sucking on your arm and join the rest of the class."
"Yes ma'am," she said, blushing and scurrying into the classroom.
As anxious as she was to get rid of the mugwump weed, Hermione couldn't help sneaking into the dungeons to see if she had one last chance to put her plan in motion.
Ignoring the quizzical stares that accompanied a Gryffindor being deep in Slytherin territory, she made her way to Snape's door.
She knocked.
There was no answer.
"Looking for someone?" came a voice. She turned to see Draco Malfoy leaning against the wall.
"I had a question for Professor Snape," Hermione said.
"Well, he's not here, is he?" Draco said, reaching for his wand. Hermione pinched a bit of the mugwump weed and ground it into a powder.
"Whatcha got there, Mudblood?"
"A present for you," she said sweetly, tossing the powder into his face.
Draco inhaled deeply and sneezed.
"What was that?" he asked, sniffing the air.
Hermione paused, waiting to see if the mugwump weed had kicked in.
"That is wonderful stuff!" Malfoy crowed, reaching over and taking the bag from Hermione.
"I must share this wonderful stuff with the world!" he exclaimed as he skipped down the hall, tossing the powder into the air.
"Oh dear God," Hermione whispered.
A spell later and Hermione was able to safely navigate the halls without being exposed to the mugwump weed that was now clouding the air. Around her, students were running through the halls. Some were making out, some had engaged in rather violent duels and still others were laying on their backs staring at their hands.
"MISS GRANGER!"
Hermione froze.
Snape was running up the hallway, knocking students out of his way.
"Why is it you seem to be the only one unaffected by this mugwump weed?"
Hermione chuckled nervously. "Is it mugwump weed?"
Snape's eyes narrowed. "Of course it is."
"'Mione!" She turned to see Ron running toward her, arms outstretched.
"Hello Ron," she said awkwardly.
"I love you!" he said, giving her abnormally large puppy eyes. He turned a glare on Professor Snape. "What's he doing here?"
Snape sighed and grabbed Hermione's arm. "Since you are unaffected, I will require your assistance in brewing an antidote."
Ron gasped. "You're trying to seduce her! I've seen the way you look at her." He jumped onto Snape's back, wrapping his arms around Snape's neck. "Run, Hermione!"
Hermione blinked and with a wave of her wand, Ron went flying backward into a group of singing students.
"Thank you," Snape said gruffly, straightening his robes.
"No problem! That felt great!" she said.
They had almost made it to the Potions classroom when they heard a rumbling sound at either end of the hallway.
"What in the blazes is this?" Snape said, drawing his wand.
A group of non-Slytherin students came running around one corner. "There he is! Snape! We hate you! Defend yourself!"
Snape groaned and turned to investigate the other group.
What he saw struck fear into his heart.
A bunch of adolescent girls were running toward him.
"We love you, Sevvy! You're misunderstood!"
"Fangirls," Hermione whispered. Snape grabbed her by the wrist.
"This way!"
She heard a gasp from both groups.
"He's kidnaped a Gryffindor!"
"That bitch is seducing him!"
A few moments later, they were inside the Potions classroom, reinforcing the door with as many spells as they could think of.
When they were finished, Snape turned to face her.
"I know, I have a lot of explaining to do," Hermione said, putting her hands up in defense.
She froze when she saw his face. Were his eyes...watery?
"Miss Granger...Hermione...you have no idea how long I've wanted to speak privately with you." He took her hands between his pressed them to his lips.
"Oh God. You're affected too?"
Snape was too busy purring and rubbing his face on her hands to answer.
