Alisons's POV

"Paige and I broke up." Emily said as I opened the door. Her face looked blank, free of all emotion. I couldn't even process the new information I had just received. They seemed so happy together, today was the first time I had even heard them have an argument and it didn't sound as drastic as to result in a break up. My mouth just hung open and I stepped aside to let her in, not knowing what to say. The two of us went up to my bedroom and Emily went straight to my bed, grabbed a cushion and hugged it, staring into space.

"Are you okay?" was all I could think to say. She didn't reply, she didn't even look at me. "Okay, that was a stupid question. Obviously you're not okay." I walked over and sat at the bottom of the bed and put my hand on Emily's knee. "What happened Em?"
"I don't wanna talk about it." She still hadn't made eye contact with me.

"Are you sure? You know you can talk to me a-"

"I'm sure." She sounded so sad and confused but at the same time empty. I had never seen Emily like this before and it broke my heart. It just wasn't her and she didn't deserve to feel like this. She had done absolutely nothing wrong. I sat next to Emily and put my arm around her. She flopped her head down onto my shoulder and just lay there for a few minutes. I ran my fingertips up and down her bare arm and rested my head on top of hers.

"Everything is going to be fine babe. You're going to find someone who loves you, trusts you and is going to make you the happiest girl on earth just like you deserve to be and nothing less of it. But you're going to find her, I know it." Emily put her hand on top of mines and nestled her head into the crook of my neck. The two of us just sat in this position for a few moments before Emily lifted her head and scanned the room. Her attention turned to my desk and she looked more intently.

"Why are your writing utensils out?" she asked me with a puzzled look on her face. Shit, I forgot I still had them left out on my desk. What do I tell her?

"Um, I was going to write a letter to my cousin who lives in England. We used to be close but we never speak anymore."

Emily's POV

"Oh. I didn't even know you had a cousin from England."

A letter to her cousin? Really? What's wrong with a phone call or even an email? I wondered what she was really up to but I wasn't in the mood to quiz her about it.

"Anyway Em, we are talking about you here, not me. Are you sure you don't want to tell me what happened? Maybe I can help? I mean you two were fine the other day it can't have been something that can't be fixed?" I looked Ali in the eyes and I could see that she genuinely did care and she wasn't just acting. Ugh Emily stop being so stupid and just tell her! Tell her you are still in love with her! You've done it once and you can do it again! I opened my mouth to speak and she tilted her head slightly but I just sighed.

"I don't want to talk about it now." Alison just nodded her head and wrapped her arm around me and rubbed my arm gently up and down. She kissed the side of my temple and rested her head on top of mines.

"Well babe just know that I'll be here for you whenever you decide you want to talk about it and I'll do whatever I can to cheer you up or anything you'd like me to do instead. You really are my favourite Emily and I love you a lot. You mean the world to me and I can't stand to see you sad. You know I would do absolutely anything for you right?" I pulled away from Ali and she looked at me like a hurt puppy dog and it made my heart ache. She could do so many things to me and have no idea. I turned slightly to face her and she did the same.

"Do you want to know the real reason that Paige and me broke up?" She looked at me and nodded slowly, never taking her eyes off of mines. I looked in the opposite direction as I couldn't bare to say this whilst looking her in the eye. I sighed again.

"We broke up because what Paige said was true." Ali scrunched her nose like she didn't understand and it was oh so cute. My mouth started to curl up into a smile but I had to told it back, I couldn't afford any slip ups in a moment like this.

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about? What was true?" I didn't know how to phrase it and I thought about different ways to say it and I must have taken quite a while as Ali was just staring at me as if to say 'come on' so I just came straight out with it.

"That I'm still in love with you. She made me realise that I never loved her or Maya the way I loved, or love, you. That I love them the way I loved Ben. I guess I've known for a while but hearing someone else say it out loud just puts it all into perspective and made me realise how I couldn't continue pretending. It wasn't fair on Paige." Alison looks at me with a dopey smile on her face.

"Come here." she said stretching her arms out to invite me into a hug. I leaned down into Alison and she wrapped her arms around me so tight, it was a feeling I never wanted to forget and most likely never would. Her hands travelled to the base of my neck and lightly played with my hair. She kissed the top of my head again and continued what she was doing.

"I'm so glad you told me Emily. And don't worry, nothing will change and we will stay Ali and Em the way we always were. I love you."

"I was actually going to tell you. I was too scared and didn't plan it but I just felt like I should have." Ali lifted her head and looked me in the eyes with what was clearly hurt inside her own.

"Why would you be scared to tell me anything Em? Aren't we best friends? I told you that you could tell me anything in the world." I felt really guilty for that because Alison had said that repeatedly and she had been much nicer recently than she was in the past.

"I guess I thought that you would taunt me like last time." I mumbled that it took a few seconds for Alison to register what I had said and the look on her face when she understood gave me a pain in my stomach like someone had stabbed me and was twisting the knife. She took both my hands in her own and looked me in the eyes and I didn't dare look away.

"Emily I have no idea how to put into words how sorry I am that I done that to you. I don't have any excuses, I was just such an idiot that didn't deserve anyone like you but I am so glad you forgave me because look at where we are now. You're my best friend and I couldn't live without you. I promise you that I'll never ever do anything like that ever again, for any reason. I'm not like who I was years ago, I've changed. Even you could see that. You can trust me with your life Em." She just sat there, facing me on the bed, her hands holding my own with a firm grasp that wasn't too loose or too tight. Her eyes had never once left mines and in this moment the only thing I can think of is kissing her. If I want to do it I'm not going to get a better moment. Do I do it? Should I do it?

"Just know that I will do anything to make you feel more comfortable around me or stop doing anything that makes you uncomfortable. I want you to feel like nothing has happened because I know you and I know it's the only thing you're going to think about when you see me for months but I swear Em nothing will change, okay?" She gave me a big grin and shook my hands side to side with her own and I couldn't help but smile.

"Can we do something that doesn't involve me or my break up please? I don't think I'm up for a pity party tonight." Ali laughed her marvellous laugh and stood up off the bed.

"Sure, why don't you pick a movie out cabinet there and I'll go downstairs, make the popcorn, get some blankets and meet you on the couch?" I couldn't contain my smile once more. She had complete control over my heart and I didn't even mind.

"Sounds great." Ali smiled at me once more before making her way out of the room. I stood up and walked over to Ali's cabinet where she kept her DVDs and looked through a good number of them until I settled on 'Titanic'. An oldie but a goodie. I was just about to go downstairs and get Ali but just as I was about to go I noticed a piece of paper poking out of Ali's stationary kit on her desk next to the cabinet with 'Dear Emily, I don't know how' written on the top. I picked it up and analysed it before folding it, putting it in my pocket and making my way downstairs.

Alison's POV

Things couldn't have been any better than they were at the moment. Well, they could if I wasn't such a coward and would just tell Emily how I felt about her. Maybe we could be making out right about now but I'm more than content with the way things are. The two of us laying on the couch underneath a blanket watching 'Titanic'. Emily laying slightly behind me with her arm wrapped around my waist. And she loves me. She really really loves me. The most elegant and beautiful human being I had ever met really has feelings for me. How am I so lucky? I can't help but look at her every so often during the movie. I'm not even watching it. I am focused on the most special thing in my life, stealing glances at her when she is into the movie, running my hand over hers lying across my stomach, just thinking about her in general. I'm pretty sure she has been looking at me too, I caught her a few times I mean it could just be coincidence but I don't think so. Once the movie ends we turn the channel and just put on an episode of Friends. I turn to look at her and make sure she is okay and she is looking at me with what looked like a looming question.

"Em, are you okay?" She smiles at me and nods.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I was just wondering…" She trailed off and started fiddling with something under the blanket and pulled out a piece of paper. I recognised it instantly. It's from my kit up stairs.

"…what was this?" She hands it over to me and I see the start of the letter I began to write and changed because I didn't like the way I was going. What do I say? I'm not ready to tell her yet.

"Oh um, I guess it must be an old one I began a while ago I left in my kit by mistake I don't remember what it was for." Phew that was a good one. That seems believable right?

"Ali don't lie to me come on. I know this is recent. You didn't start using curly y's and g's until a few months ago so just tell me what it is." Shit. What am I supposed to say to that?

"It's not important okay? If it was important then I would have finished it and given it to you. See?" I said in my coyest voice possible to hide my panic and embarrassment. Emily just nodded and grinned and my slyly before laying back down, this time me behind her so I got my chance to wrap my arms around her. It was perfect, she wasn't even pushing the letter and I got to cuddle up with her. We were lying like that for a few moments before she said

"You do know that I am going to find out what it was about, even if it kills me." She laughed lightly and I felt her body move with the giggle pressed up against my own but those words just set off alarm bells in my head. She was going to find out. She was going to know that I am in love with her. I am no where near ready for Emily to know. I only thought I was ready because I thought she didn't love me and was in love with Paige ao she wouldn't bother with me but she is single and likes me and I am not ready to let everyone know. Not yet.