WARNINGS: Swearing. LOl. And a teen going through turmoil.

Rabu: Okay, short chapter (again) but I hope you guys like it. It's getting really complicated because Roxas is just 18 and trying to sort out his feelings. He flip flops a lot about his feelings. What can we do? D:

Disclaimer: The day I own Kingdom Hearts and its characters is not yet made.


It felt like time had froze, but my heart kept beating faster and faster. What is happening to me? All of a sudden, I felt hot tears drip onto my shirt. Those didn't belong to me, it belonged to Axel. His grip made me numb, but suddenly became loose. We slid onto the floor and he was on top of me, fainted. My shirt was wet from his tears and it made me wonder... Did I do this to him?

"Sorry, Roxas." I heard Demyx say. "He didn't hurt you, did he?" I felt him lift Axel off me. Somehow, that didn't make it easier to breathe. I felt chills run through my body and I couldn't focus.

"What?" I'm confused. Demyx turned his head toward me, maybe squinting at me. I couldn't really tell. What is something Axel can't have? Surely it couldn't have been me. I'm right here. I'm here, right? My mind was drawing blanks and I really couldn't help but wonder.

"Did he hurt you?" Demyx sounded a bit confused. Maybe it was my expression.

"No-- not really." I shook my head. "Why did, uh, Axel cry?" I bit my bottom lip and I could taste the little alcohol that was left on Axel's lips. Demyx flipped around after setting Axel's body on his couch. He blinked a few times before answering.

"I dunno." My weird gut feeling told me he was lying, but I didn't want to pry. Everyone has their own time and their own pace. I'm sure Axel will tell me, right? We're brothers-- wait, are we? Why am I having second thoughts about who Axel is to me? Was it just because of the kiss? No, I'm sure Axel didn't mean it. Just like all the promises he made to me.

My heart just kept banging against my chest. I wanted to know why. This felt different then anything I've ever felt. I couldn't help but ask Demyx. "Do you think Axel loves someone?" Another chill struck me. Why am I asking such stupid questions?

His head tilted as he hovered over Axel to see if he was doing okay. His lips were smacked straight. "Yeah, he does."

I looked at him, even more confused than before. Do I dare ask? Just maybe, this is the answer I'm looking for.

"... Who?"

His eyes drifted back to Axel and it looked like he brushed his face. Suddenly, his gaze came back to me a couple minutes later. "Me." His expression was dead serious. It was rare to see Demyx not smiling and it felt weird when he didn't. I knew he was probably serious. Besides, why would he lie to me about that?

My eyes instantly tore off from him and onto the floor. Hot blood rushed to my face, making me feel dizzy and embarrassed. But from what? Was I expecting a different answer? Of course, Axel's best friend is Demyx. I don't see him hanging out with anyone else but me. We're brothers though. It's not right-- right? But we're not-- why am I thinking like this? I'm sure Axel was just teasing me because he called me a goody-two-shoe. It's not like I like Axel like that. I have Olette. I love Olette. I should probably go see her.

"I'm sorry for prying." I stood up, still staring at the floor. "I-- I'm gonna go to Olette's." I think I heard Demyx whispered something under his breath. I ignored it though and left out the door. The more I walked further away from Axel's house, the more numb I got. Sure, it was winter but I felt the need to be numb. Having no feelings felt nice sometimes. If that made any sense.


I stepped on Olette's porch and knocked loudly. It hurt my knuckles but I didn't care. Some reason, I was angry. At what? I don't know and that's what's making me even more mad! No answer, so I knocked again.

"Yes?" The front door swung open. My jaw dropped to see who had opened the door. It wasn't Olette or her mom or her dad for that matter.

"Hayner? What the hell are you doing here?" I wanted to scream but Hayner was my friend too.

"Olette invited me." He replied dryly. "She didn't tell me you were coming over." I glared at him.

"I don't need permission to go to my girlfriend's house." I spat out. Like I said, I was already pissed. What the fuck is Hayner doing at Olette's place?

"Really? She told me you two broke up." I twitched.

"What?!" I shook my head. "No, no. We're having problems, that's all. We're in the middle of fixing them." Hayner arched his eye brow. "Just let me talk to her, dammit!" I demanded. He leaned against the door frame.

"I can't. She doesn't want to talk to you." He rubbed his hands together. "Besides, why are you so pissy?" DAMN YOU HAYNER!

"Let me talk to OLETTE. I've got no business with you." I attempted to shove my way through, but he stopped me. I jerked my head to meet his.

"Sorry, Rox. I'll be taking care of Olette now." He said quite possessively.

"Excuse me? You're just taking advantage of the situation! I need to talk to her." I tried to calm down, but now wasn't the time. My emotions were flailing all over the fucking place. This is more emotions than one person can handle alone! FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. "PLEASE HAYNER!" Tears watered up in my eyes and I couldn't see anymore. "Please. Just let me." I fell to my knees, just begging to see her face one more time.

"You'll see her at school. Right now, she doesn't want to talk to you. Why can't you respect her decisions?" He frowned. "And stop begging already. You look like a kicked dog. Just get out. Unfortunately, you don't look like you're ready to see her anyway." With that being said, he slammed the door in my face.

What the hell is happening to me? Why am I acting up now? Why couldn't I keep it in? Why? Why?! WHY?! DAMN IT! Why the FUCK am I falling apart now? I was doing so well! I ran to the only place I could think of; the park.

The snow was crunching underneath my feet. The park was always the place I ran to when I needed some time alone. The only person who knew that was Axel. No matter where I was, he'd always find me. I wonder if he looks for me. Will he come for me now? No, of course not. He should be with Demyx. The person he wants, the one he loves most. Have I always been so alone?


"Axel!" I shouted with glee as I fell into the snow pile. "AH! SO COLD!!" I squealed, flailing my short arms up in the air, hoping for Axel to take hold of me.

"Geez, you're so hyper active. It's just snow." Axel stated in a monotone voice. Like I hoped, he took hold of my hand and pulled me up. "Be careful. I hate the snow." He frowned and my smile grew wider.

"It's cos you like fire, right?" I held tightly onto his hand. I couldn't feel our warmth because of our thick mittens we were wearing.

"Yeah, I do."

"Why?" We walked closer to my favorite park.

"Fire is energy! Life, love, passion!" He didn't even glance at me when he said all that with an energetic voice. He seemed pumped just thinking about it. If Axel was happy, I'll be happy too. Those were my exact thoughts that day.

"Then," I proposed. "Axel is my fire." I blushed, but the cold had hidden it. We stopped midway to the park. He took a glance at me and smiled sweetly. I swear he could've been blushing too but no one really knew.

"You're so cute." Was his reply. "You're the reason why my flame keeps burning."


I sat on a bench nearby, hoping to just relax. It's been several minutes, possibly hours since I've been outside. I came to realize that I really started to like the snow after that year. Snow would give people a reason to stay inside and light their fireplace. Ever since then, fires and flames always reminded me of Axel.

Axel... I think I was starting to imagine things because I swear I see Axel walking towards me.

"Axel?" I whispered. My vision was becoming blurry. I heard some mumbling and then I figured it wasn't Axel because his hair was not red. I thought it would be him since he was the one that always knew where I was.

"Hey, Roxas, right? Can you get up?" I heard the voice say. I know I heard this voice before, but I don't remember who it belonged to. I nodded, I think. My body was becoming so numb I didn't even realize the person had carried me on his back. I wonder if this person knew that I love piggybacks. Of course not. I don't even recall this guy.

"Oh my GOD. Rox! Are you okay?" I heard Sora from my left side. Hm, it's not Sora who's carrying me. Who is it? Surely it wasn't Demyx either. I decided against thinking too hard and just shut my eyes. I didn't know the cold could make you so tired.

"Hurry up, I think he has frost bites!" Sora demanded.

"I'm hurryin!"


When I opened my eyes, I saw flames. Again, my instant thought was Axel. I found myself near a fireplace and wrapped in a nice thick fleece blanket. I was also in new clothes... wait, WHAT?! I jumped up, only to be smacked back down onto the sofa. What the?

"You're still cold." The man whom I now recognized as Riku said. Sora walked by and handed him a cup of what smelled like hot chocolate.

"Oh, Rox! You're up! Thank God! You've been out for 5 hours." Sora pouted. "Ah. I'll go get you some hot choco too!" He darted back to what I assumed was the kitchen. I've never been in this house before. Is it Riku's? Oh wait, how'd he find me?

"Um," Riku looked a bit more intimidating then Axel. "Thanks for, uh, helping me." He only nodded, staring at the flickering flames. "How did you find me?" That seemed to have caught his attention somehow because he glanced at me for a moment, than turned back to look the the flames. He whispered something under his breath. "Sorry, I didn't hear you, what did you--"

"Here's your hot choco, Rox!" Sora beamed from behind the corner. "Drink it slow, okay? It's still hot!" He proclaimed and then giggled like a little girl. He sat next to Riku and scooted a bit too close to him in my opinion. It seemed like Riku didn't mind.

"Thanks Sora." I smiled meekly. I took a small sip from my hot chocolate, and it burnt my tongue a little. I coughed and decided to let it cool a lot more before I take another sip. I attempted to sleep again but I couldn't. There were so many things on my mind that I couldn't stop thinking even if I wanted to.

Someone's phone rang but I didn't dare to open my eyes.

"Oh, Axel's calling again." I heard Riku say. "Is Roxas asleep?"

"Yeah, looks like it." Sora replied. Axel?!

"Yes, Axel? Yeah, we found him at the place you said he'd be at. He's fine. Don't worry about it. Yeah, I understand." A long pause. "I'm sure you can. It's what friends are for. Uh huh. See you later. No problem. Good night." Riku hung up the phone.

"What did he say?" Sora asked.

"He's gonna come over later. Just to see him. He doesn't want Roxas to be awake at night."

"Wait, what did you tell Cloud?"

"Nothing. Axel said he took care of that."

"Okay. If you say so."

I wanted to stay up till I heard Axel, but the warmth was just too comforting. I fell fast asleep after the call Axel made to Riku. For some reason, I had the urge to just see his face again. Do I hurt you, Axel? There's just so much I wanted to know and ask you. Why are you keeping your distance from me? Do you hate me? No, you don't because you're the one that told Riku where to find me. Even when you're not here with me, you're still watching over me.

You really are my fire in the midst of winter, Axel.


Rabu: Ack. Cheesy. LOl. D: BUT BUT-- please understand what everyone is going through~ I LOVE OLETTE AND HAYNER (AND DEMYX). Really. Like in the games and stuff and it pains me to make them appear so mean. So I want to clarify somethings on their behalf. LOl.

Olette likes Roxas (still) but she feels he is not treating her right. She flirts with Hayner who she knows likes her too. Right now she's debating between loving the person you love who won't love you back OR loving the person who loves you back but you don't really love them like that. Hayner gets protective of Olette because she is the one he loves most. Okay? I know it still may not be right/nice but hey, it's sorta realistic, no?
FOR DEMYX. LOL. WHY THE HECK DID HE SAY AXEL LOVES HIM?! DOESN'T HE LOVE ZEXION?!! D: - YES. He loves Zexion, but if you were him, wouldn't you want to protect your best friend from getting hurt constantly? He can't really blame Roxas either because he doesn't know how Axel really feels. Right now, he's hoping to buy Axel some time to recover.

ANYWAY, can you tell that there will be more SORIKU?!

Understand? LOL. Let's hope so. D:

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*Fake threats only people. LOL.