Chapter Three : Something Better
Kim's Point of View
It was the early morning before I got to sleep. How could I, seeing his face every time I closed my eyes, it was impossible to forget. I had cried silently for hours and the headache and vision meant I had a terrible nights sleep. It was to be expected, I could never accustom myself to be prepared for him. I was however, used to the emotional turmoil that followed.
The bruises were already forming. Harsh blues and purples, they looked so wrong against my standard red-brown skin. They could never look right anyway, the odd contrast of the colours simply made it worse.
They were all over me too. Across each shoulder, dotted against my stomach, my arms, and the inside of my thighs, on my chest. You could see each part of my body he has touched. If bruises hadn't formed, the places were red and hurt. I didn't want to look at myself. I wouldn't be wearing anything revealing for weeks. Good thing it was winter.
I woke easily at my alarm. Feeling straight off the pain of where he had held me down. There was some blood visible on my sheets from him ramming into me harder than I could take. It was a good thing I got up quickly as it was harder to move, my whole body ached. But it wasn't the worst i'd been by far so I couldn't stay off.
I took two tylenol for the pain and took the packet with me, for later at school. The pain was sure to return soon after the four hours. I couldn't chance anyone noticing I was hurt. Next I put my bed sheets into the washing machine. I couldn't risk my Mom noticing either. Despite the unlikelihood.
I shower carefully, making sure not to look at myself in the mirror. I don't want to think about it now the pain is starting to fade. I dress for cold weather, as it nearly was. Thanksgiving is in a few weeks, I am looking forward to it. My mom and stepdad were going on holiday, they didn't tell me where, I assume it will be somewhere sunny. I would have the house to myself for a week, I'm off school from the wednesday until the following monday so I have five days all to myself.
The holidays were what I focused on to think positively, well less negatively. It would never be for the same reason as anyone else I knew but I was certainly looking forward to it. I wouldn't have to fake my excitement for the time off school.
/-
Jared's Point of View
The sun is up somewhere in the clouds. The best part of my early morning patrol shift -seeing the transition from night to day, the light the sun really gives. It's naturally beautiful, like Kim. So simple, so extraordinary.
I've finished my patrol, Sam'll be up soon and patrolling while I'm at school. I run past Kim's house before I go home and get ready to see her at school. It's about seven a.m. so Kim will probably be getting ready for school. On cue I hear a shower stop and a light footsteps walking into a room and shutting the door. It must be Kim, the car is gone, so at least one of her parents will have gone to work.
A wardrobe opens, a drawer, I can hear Kim breathing. It's not a relaxed breath, not fast either. A bit jumpy and then calmer and then it catches and it is jumpy again, it continues. I wonder why?
I'm going to be late if I sit in a forest listening to Kim breathe any longer. I need to get back to normality. These are the small things I should notice months into a relationship. Kim and I don't even have a relationship yet. My goal of the date is to get somewhere on that front.
I run home, shower and look for nice clothes. Some clean jeans, boxer-briefs, mismatching socks, matching sneakers and a t-shirt. Score. Finally a normal outfit. I'll have to ask Mom for more new clothes, this is getting bad. Its nearly seven thirty so I race out of the house and jump into my truck.
It takes less than three minutes to drive to school. I was going at my preferable speed of as-fast-as-my-truck-can-go. Having wolf abilities means I have really good reaction time, so it's safe. There is about five people around school when I get there. I regret getting here so early, it'll be worth it when Kim gets here.
I don't want to miss her when she does get here so I lean on the wall by the entrance to the building. She'd have to walk past me. I'll be cool, say 'hey', tell her 'I'm sorry'. We can talk, maybe even make plans. I should ask for her number. Okay I'm getting obsessive, I'm just going to cool, be myself, and talk to her.
/-
I'd be cold after standing outside school for ten minutes, if I wasn't a shapeshifter. Kim isn't here yet. What if something happened to her? What of she isn't coming to school today? Where is she? Even if she does come, I don't know what to say. I hate being so worried about talking to a girl. It's Kim. I want everything to be perfect. I know I'm going to mess it up. If yesterday taught me anything, it's that Kim and I talking isn't working.
How are we going to have a relationship if we can't speak to each other. I'm such a girl right now. It's a good thing Paul and I aren't hanging out anymore or I'd be saying this aloud and getting punched in the face. Sam says Paul will be the next Quileute to turn. Paul has been growing and getting angrier in the last month or so. That was my clues.
When will I tell Kim about all of this wolf stuff. Will she be cool? Or will she be freaked out and never talk to me again? This could go so wrong.
Kim. I'm so caught up in worrying about her. She walks past me and I swiftly catch up. She looks gorgeous with her dark hair, wispy in the faint wind and her cheeks rosy from the November cold. I can't hold back my worry.
"Kim, are you okay?" I break, "What happened yesterday, what did I do to upset you?"
Being normal and cool was obviously not happening for me when I was around Kim. I needed to know that she was okay. It didn't matter that I wasn't cool. She was my only priority. She hasn't answered me.
"Whatever it is, I am honestly really sorry," I beg her. All of my guilt weighing me down is shown. I'm a mess when it comes to Kim. She makes me who I truly am, not as cool as I pretend to be. I'm me when I'm with her. Kim looks straight ahead at the empty corridor, I can see her wavering.
"No, Jared," Kim stops and turns to face me, "Uh, it was my fault, I was, erm, having a bad day. That's all," She says shakily.
Kim is so cute. She is shy but always trying not to be. Wait, she was having a bad day. I want to know everydetail. If someone had ruined it for her, they were dead. If Kim just didn't enjoy it, it was now my role to make every day of hers wonderful. She deserves the best. Maybe it's best not to pry so soon, she'd tell me if she wanted me to know.
"Oh, I'm sorry Kim, hopefully today will be a better one,"
I try to be reassuring and smile at her. She looks a little startled, so I tone it down a but. It's hard to not be honest with Kim. She brings it out in me. She is blushing, she must have realised it too. She looks down and hides her face with her hair.
I want to tuck her hair behind her ear and tell her that she doesn't have to hide, not from me. She is beautiful and I love her, why would she hide from me. I'm getting carried away again. Lost in thoughts of myself and Kim. I look at her, she lights up my world.
"Whats your first class?" I ask her gently, she still stares at the floor.
"Algebra,"
"Me too,"
I resume walking, Kim follows, I slow considerably, to her comfortable speed. We walk together in a comfortable silence to the maths classroom. We're pretty early so no one is in the classroom. I gesture for Kim to enter the room first, holding the door open. If I can't talk normally to her, I can at least be nice guy. I worry I'm filling up too much of the doorway, Kim, being small glides past me easily.
She isn't small compared to normal people but there must be a foot difference between us. She is the right height to put my arm around and hold close to me. I promise myself that we'll be there soon. I don't know if I can refrain myself from her much longer.
She sits down at her seat and I sit next to her and decide we've got enough time for a conversation. I can appease me need for her by at least asking her out. I'm giddy at the though. My huge smile might put her off so I try to look casual again and start a conversation with the girl I love.
/-
Kim's Point of View
I arrive at school fifteen minutes early. Jared is leaning on the wall outside the main entrance. He looks worried, I wonder why? I though he would have laughed, he had nearly tricked me in history, he should be pleased the joke worked well enough to make me cry.
As I walk past he sees me and leaps to my side. He is staring at me again. But this time it wasn't a happy, lighting-up-the-world stare, it was a worried stare. He was worried about 'me'? If he keeps wanting to talk to me I am going to become perturbed about his mental wellbeing. Worrying about me couldn't be real. It just wouldn't happen. If for some unimaginable it was true, he had definitely banged his head somewhere.
"Kim, are you okay?" So it was the crazy scenario, "What happened yesterday, what did I do to upset you?" He seemed genuinely interested and distressed with guilt. I could feel myself falling again.
"Whatever it is I am honestly really sorry," It was not real. But I couldn't get past those pleading, sad eyes. I could never upset him further.
"No, Jared," I start trying to talk like a normal person, "Uh, it was my fault, I was, erm, having a bad day. Thats all," I mumble but he seems to understand. Apparently he has super hearing as well as total hotness. Damn, I am never getting over this crush.
I felt better telling a half truth, lying wasn't good and I wasn't the best liar anyway, so its better to stick as close to the truth as possible. In this case it wasn't a bad day seeing as I don't think he was tricking me, he seemed too kind now. It was however, a bad night.
"Oh, I'm sorry Kim, hopefully today will be a better one," He smiles at me, showing his almost perfect, white teeth. And making me feel like I am going to faint. I try to smile back a little, I'm going too red from Jared talking to me, but I want to look happy instead of depressed. I am happy, Jared, my crush of years had noticed me and it didn't appear to be a trick. If I found out later it was, I'd just focus on how Jared had smiled at me, noticed me and talked to me like he cared.
He walked to class with me. We had algebra, thankfully for my grade, he was sitting on the opposite side of the room, so I could usually focus enough to do some of the work. I don't think I'm going to be able to do that today though. I'm too happy and taken aback by Jared's sudden interest.
We were really early so when I sat down he sat next to me. Surprising me further. Oh God. He is going to talk to me. Soon people would walk in and they'd laugh at me and we would certainly get more weird looks. Especially after history with him staring so much then me being absent. This was going to be a disaster! Did he not get that? Or is this another joke.
Okay I really need to calm down. I said I was just going to enjoy it while it lasted. Whatever it is. And I am sure Jared is a nice guy, he was really concerned about me earlier.
"So Kim," My thoughts were interrupted, "Do you want to hang out after school,"
All thought process had stopped. Does not compute. My brain has now turned into a robot CPU (Central Processing Unit) and I could not understand what was going on. I finally answer with "Uh, erm. Yeah?"
"Haha," Great, the only boy that has ever looked at me before (and couldn't stop) is laughing at me. What did I expect? "You shouldn't answer questions with another question," He joked, "But i'm taking that as a 'Yes Jared, I'd love to spend time with you,'" I blush tomato-red but I'm smiling. When a cute boy does a terrible impression of a girl, even when it's you, it's funny.
"Why don't you talk much Kim?" He asked seriously as though it wasn't an obvious answer.
"I'm shy," I said simply, trying to feel calm so I didn't mess up my words.
"Okay," He pauses, in thought, "Why?"
"Why what?" I'm confused now.
"Why are you shy?" Oh I'm surprised, I hadn't expected a followup. No one has ever though much about it before. Now of all people Jared Cameron was asking. I still didn't understand his random fascination with me.
"I, uh, I don't know. It's just hard to talk to people sometimes, and I suppose, I, I don't really trust anyone," I answered completely truthfully. I like being honest with Jared. It would feel wrong to lie to him when he was looking into my eyes. I kept looking away but every time I look at him, he is still staring with that wonder I couldn't comprehend.
His face fell again. If I keep making him feel so sad I would end up crying from guilt.
"You don't trust anyone? No one at all?" He is upset. But his face was turning angry, disgusted almost. And he was starting to shake a little. "What about your parents Kim?"
"Erm, My dad died when I was little, my mom and I aren't close and Uh, I don't know, I don't get on great, with my, erm, my stepfather." It isn't a lie. I don't like talking to him. I don't talk to him much but I have to act pleasant around him for my mom.
"I'm sorry Kim," Jared is quite angry now. I have no clue why. Maybe he is upset I'm not telling him the whole story. He notices my muddled face with my bewilderment. He calms down a bit. "I just think your mom and stepdad should be better to you. Parents are supposed to be people you trust. They should not be the reason you don't want to trust people," He explains. Maybe he knew the feeling? Maybe he just understood?
"Um, thanks, Jared," I answer, blushing. He is pretty good at acting like he cared. So good, I believe him.
"It's fine Kim, I can't believe anyone wouldn't want to be close to you," Jared said looking deeply into my eyes. I can feel my blush getting considerably worse but I can't look away however nervous I was. I was transfixed with him too.
'Bring' 'Bring' 'Bring'
The bell for first period made me jump. Jared smiled, I mentally faint as he turns and goes to his seat for the class.
/-
Jared's Point of View
'Bring' 'Bring' 'Bring'
I groaned in my head at the stupid bell, forcing me to part with Kim. I was perfectly content looking into Kim's honest eyes. Her long, dark lashes, usually trying to hide them, were fully open so she could see me. It was a moment, I wished would never end. I hope she felt the same.
Super hearing means I heard the bell a second before she did so I was back to looking at her in time to see her jump. She was shocked by the bell so much, that she jumped. I almost felt back about finding it funny. I didn't laugh at her or anything just smiled. She was okay, so it was okay to make a joke out of it.
I forced myself out of the chair next to Kim and back to my own at the back of the classroom. It feels wrong without her next to me. I love the ease of being with Kim. I'm proud of myself anyway. We had a normal conversation. I learn about her. I hate that she doesn't trust people, I can feel my temper rising instantly when I think of her saying that.
I need to fix it for her. Kim is better than who ever made it hard for her to trust people. They should be suffering, not her. She said it so quietly and uncertainly. It pains me that I can't make this better for Kim. I will one day. One day I'll be at a place with Kim, where I can stand up for her, look after her, love her and tell her.
Miss has come in and I focus on looking to the front of the class. At Kim. She sits next to the wall at one of the front desks on the left aisle. I would have stayed sitting next to her but I'm not sure she wants me to. We've just started talking so I think it would freak her out a bit. We'll just take it slow.
I don't want Miss telling me off, she'd be the third teacher so far, so I open my algebra book and copy down the equations and methods. It makes sense so I do the necessary work for her satisfaction.
Kim is slowly writing. Sam says I have really advance sight, even for a wolf. Today I'm really thankful for it. I look at Kim's writing and can make out she has her math book open and her notebook, like she did in History. She has done the first five equations out of eight. I correct my second one, seeing my mistake.
Her notebook is what really catches my eye. I saw my name yesterday, today it's there again, on a different page. I really hope it's good. I think, yeah, she wrote 'Jared & Kim' in her nicest writing. I know it's stupid butI literally feel high seeing this. I feel pretty guilty too, I don't want to invade Kim's privacy. She probably wouldn't want me reading it.
I regret doing it now, after thinking about Kim. Every time I do think about her, I think about her writing our names together and I'm estatic. She gives me hope that we will have a future together. If she wants me I'll be hers forever.
Kim agreed to hang out with me later. I don't know if it's a date in girl terms but I want it to be one. I don't even care what we do, if we make out, or kiss at all or not. Kim is about more than that to me. I want to know more about her. I hate not knowing who she really is.
I'll ask her every question later; her favourite colour, movie, tv show, subject. I'll talk to her about books, which one she is reading, what kind she likes, how many she has raed. I'm not a fan but she was reading last night and she's not in my English class, she is much smarter than me so she must be higher than a middle set. I bet she is in top set.
I'm actually shocked we are in the same math class. It mustn't be a subject she likes. I wonder what is. I don't mind math, I don't particularly like it either. I'm proud that I'm good enough to be in the same set as her for something. Maybe she won't think I'm too stupid or dull for her. I know I'm selfish, I need her.
/-
Kim's Point of View
Algebra that day was an easy lesson. I was in no way good at it but I understood the formulae for today. It's a shame I couldn't concentrate enough to complete any of the actual work.
Jared is on my mind. His smile. His looks. His anger at my mom and stepfather. How we were going to hang out later. How he cared.
The lessons all went quickly. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad one. Being with Jared would be a dream come true, if I wasn't in fact still dreaming. But it could be bad, knowing me I would embarrass myself in every way possible at the worst time. All I can do is hope for the best.
The most interesting part of the day - after talking to Jared in Algebra - was lunch. Jared wasn't in the cafeteria for the whole of lunch but I found out later that he was in the other lessons preceding lunch.
Jared's vacancy wasn't why lunch was interesting today though. It was the gossip that spiked my attention. Jared had left his on-again-off-again girlfriend of the past six months devastated last night as he had broken up with her. He and Penny had been the school's leading couple and were at the very top of the social ladder together.
Apparently according to Christie he had gone over to her house after school and he told her they couldn't be together anymore. He didn't give her any real reasons just that it wouldn't work out between them. She was already mad because he didn't talk to her about why he was off school and he ignored her calls the whole time.
She had even gone to his house in the weeks he was off. His mother had refused to let her in. She told Penny that Jared wasn't in a state to see people right then. Christie guessed that Penny was so annoyed the day after it in school, was because Mrs Cameron had really gave her a talking to. Christie exaggerates and basically lives of rumours in school.
Knowing Mrs Cameron, as everyone knows everyone in La Push with there being only 750 people. I found that particular one hilarious, I could imagine her, completely honest, telling Penny exactly what she though. She must have known Jared would break up with her otherwise she'd only ever be pleasant but Jared talks to his Mom. They're close as it's only them.
His Dad is always away on work trips. The general understanding is he has a girlfriend where he works so he stays with her for months then returns to Jared and his Mom for a week only to go again for longer each time.
Tom added that he heard Penny cried the whole night and Jared did attempt to comfort her but she refused to let him near her. Tom also said that Penny had thrown a cup at him and it literally bounced off him. I didn't believe that one. The rumour mill at our school sure gave out a few weird ones.
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Jared's Point of View
Patrol is killing me. Sam wanted to see Emily again today so he is driving the ninety minutes to Makah to see her. It was only Friday that he saw her last, now I've imprinted too I understand. It doesn't mean I'm okay with missing time that I could be spending with Kim.
Sam texted me during break and told me I had to do a patrol for a few hours starting at lunch since he couldn't be there. He usually runs around La Push from eight until he gets too hungry to continue. He could always hunt in the forest. We occasionally do. Raw meat isn't preferable to cooked food.
Speaking of food. I was starving. I usually am, it's a wolf thing. I'd grabbed a couple sandwiches from the canteen before I left school. They hardly filled me though. If I cam across a deer or something I'd have to eat, otherwise I'd never be able to concentrate with Kim later.
Kim. I'd come back to school in time for last period so I can pick her up. If we are staying out late I hope she wants to go somewhere and eat. I hope we spend all night together. I'll be able to make up for the lost time we could have spend together in history, later.
/-
I've ran the perimeter of the town over a hundred times. It's about three o'clock, school will be ending soon. I race through the strong green forest, near school and focus on Kim. When I was first trying to phase back to a human, Sam told me to think about what made me human, the people, the feelings, love, friendship, soppy stiff like that. Although it took me a while, eventually it worked.
Now it simply takes one though of Kim and I'm human me.
Sam'll be satisfied that I've patrolled the town, he should be back in an hour or two, and he'll patrol again for a while. He takes our role as protects really seriously, I get it, it means a lot to me now too because all I want to do is protect Kim.
I find the tree where I left my clothes and put them on. I peek out of the forest and when no one is looking, stroll out as if it were completely normal for me to have gone for a walk in the woods in the middle of the day.
The corridors are empty, which is a good sign because I'll have to focus to find Kim. I can sniff her out so I don't miss a second with her. It works best when I'm a wolf. The abilities are still there, only less accessible.
