DISCLAIMER: I do not own Kishimoto's Naruto characters nor do I make any profit from this work of fiction. Nor do I own MTV's show "Catfish"; I simply play off the idea.

WARNINGS: M/M sexual situations, F/M sexual situations, language, OOC

RATED M

BE REMINDED THAT ONE OF THE PAIRINGS FOR THIS STORY IS ALSO SASU/DEI. THEREFORE: DO. NOT. BITCH. AT. ME. especially the pain in the ass guest reviewers. Please and thank you! if this will make you stop reading my story… boo-hoo. Sorry lovelies, this girl doesn't have the time.

I am however, very grateful to the support I have received. Don't forget that! also I take kindly to calm, respectful opinions. I can't be bothered with anything else.

CATFISH


Neji, Shikamaru, and Sasuke gathered in Neji's dorm room pre-gaming around 10PM. Sasuke was dressed in a tight dark blue shirt and black jeans complete with sleek black boots and Neji was dressed similarly with a dark purple shirt, blue jeans and black boots that matched Sasuke's. Shikamaru had thrown on a Henley tee and some khakis.

"Repeat it back to me, Neji," Sasuke said as he threw back the last of the bottle of Black Label.

"No kissing. No blowjobs. No fucking. Dancing should not be excessive."

"I have Gaara on speed dial," Shikamaru reminded.

"Fucking Nazi's."

Shikamaru and Sasuke rolled their eyes. Neji had never been a relationship sort of guy so he often needed some… pointers from his loving friends. Gaara was his first steady boyfriend and he wasn't great at it, but he was working on it.

"What good is a boyfriend that goes home on the weekends?" Neji moaned.

"What good is a boyfriend that can't control himself?" Sasuke shot back and Shikamaru snickered. Neji grumbled something and grabbed more drinks for himself and Shikamaru. Sasuke refused another and took out his cell.

Reia Hoshino

What you up to?

Naru Namikaze

Nothing really just getting ready to go to this party off campus.

Reia Hoshino

Don't get into any trouble haha

Naru Namikaze

Hey reia.. would you be…mad if I slept with someone?

Sasuke grit his teeth. Of course he would be mad. And jealous to boot, but he couldn't say that. He had to play it cool. He'd known this shit wasn't going to be easy when he got into it.

Reia Hoshino

I have no right to be mad naru. You're a growing boy, you have needs. Sure, I feel a little jealous that itll be some girl other than me, but I would expect the same if I was in your place. After all, we just talk to each other.

Naru Namikaze

Youre right… well… feel free to go get yourself laid haha! Jk

Reia Hoshino

Silly boy. Have fun at your party. Use protection!

Sasuke took a deep breath and reminded himself that he had plans to get laid himself. Why couldn't Naruto do the same? Oh who was he kidding? He wanted to throw a hissy fit and demand that Naruto not sleep with anyone. The thought of the blond sleeping with another person made his stomach churn.

"Neji stop fucking drinking," Sasuke snapped suddenly. "The man-whore in you is harder to control when you're drunk."

"Oh, something the best friends have in common," Shikamaru commented drily.

Sasuke made a face at his roommate. "Ha. Ha."

"He's gotcha there," Neji pointed out. "You can kinda be a man-whore."

"Shut the fuck up, slut."

Neji simply laughed and raised his beer. "To the road to loyalty! I will be good to Gaara!"

"Cheers." Sasuke and Shikamaru said in unison.

Let's see how this goes.


Music was pounding through the speakers, sweaty bodies pushed close together grinding, gyrating, swaying. Drinks sloshed out of cups held in the hands of drunken college students. Girls in too short skirts and shirts that rode both up and down jiggled as they walked and moved sensually against one another. Guys leaned against the walls grinning lecherously as asses grinded hungrily against their dicks.

Sasuke grimaced in distaste as the crowd of partiers erupted in cheers at the two topless girls that had climbed up on a table. He looked on with morbid fascination at the jiggling, bouncing masses of fat called breasts on their chests. Why was this attractive?

Shikamaru, shit-faced and free, was standing near the front of the crowd reaching for one of the topless girls. Sasuke vaguely recognized her as the fuck-girl. She squealed when she saw Shikamaru and leapt off the table into his arms. The man looked like he was in heaven with her breasts pressed against his face.

"Sasukeee."

Sasuke jumped at the whine. He turned to see Neji watching him impatiently. "What?"

"Dance with me," his best friend demanded.

"Seriously?"

Neji grabbed his arm and pulled him close. "Yup. I thought you were gonna come to this party to get yourself laid?" he said as he began to move lightly against him.

Sasuke shrugged as he began to dance. Truth be told, he'd spent most of his time looking for Naruto. The blond had said he was going to a party, but he hadn't caught sight of him. "Where's Hinata?"

"She said somethin' about hanging out with TenTen or somethin' instead."

Shit, Sasuke thought. If Naruto had said something about going to a party and possibly getting laid, he'd probably gone to a different house party and he'd probably invited Hinata to go with him. Shit. There was nothing he could do about it though, so might as well begin enjoying his party.

He and Neji danced together for a bit talking, joking, and laughing all the while. Sasuke liked his friend like this—not being a dick or a man-eater. The guy had come a long way since high school. They were dancing quite peacefully and laughing at some other drunken idiots when Sasuke felt a tap on his shoulder. Neji, able to see who had just tapped him, raised an eyebrow, winked, and melted into the crowd.

Sasuke turned and found himself face to face with blond hair, blue eyes, and a bright smile. His heart jumped, but he calmed when he realized it wasn't Naruto. This guy looked older and had longer hair. And boy was he hot. "Hi."

"Hi," the other blond replied, still smiling. "I'm Deidara."

"Sasuke."

"Would you like to dance with me, Sasuke?" the slightly shorter blond asked.

Sasuke grinned. "I'd love to."

"Perfect." Deidara gave his back to Sasuke and rolled his hips seductively. Sasuke grabbed a hold of those hips and pressed against them, grinding against the blond's ass in time with the music. Their bodies moved in unison, dipping and grinding effortlessly.

Deidara spun around in Sasuke's arms. "I've been watching you all night," he said softly, leaning close so Sasuke could hear him.

"Yeah?" Sasuke breathed, pressing his forehead against Deidara's.

Bright blue eyes looked straight into his. "Yeah. Know what I was thinking the whole time?"

"What?"

Deidara wound his arms around Sasuke's neck and pulled his head down. Hot breath tickled Sasuke's ear as he whispered, "I want him to fuck me."

Sasuke pulled back and slammed his mouth against the blond's. Teeth clicked and lips were made sore, but neither male cared. Sasuke tilted Deidara's head back and pushed his tongue past the other's lips. The moan that vibrated through Deidara's chest sent shockwaves straight to Sasuke's cock. "C'mon," Deidara panted, pulling away momentarily. "This is my friend's place, I know a room we can use." Sasuke nodded and let Deidara lead him through the crowd and up a set of stairs; they half-walked, half-tripped down a hallway to a bedroom that they promptly locked themselves inside.

As soon as the door was shut Deidara shoved Sasuke against the wall and dropped to his knees. Sasuke wanted to moan at the sight of that blond head hovering in front of his tented jeans. Deidara made quick work of his jeans, pushing them down to his thighs, leaving Sasuke in just his black boxer-briefs with an impressive hard-on threatening to break free. He breathed hotly on the skin of Sasuke's hip and gripped the elastic waist with his teeth.

Sasuke groaned as his burning dick met cool air. Deidara hummed appreciatively at his size and licked his lips. "Yum," he giggled before engulfing Sasuke in his hot mouth. Sasuke's hand shot to the blond hair and tugged. Deidara moaned and swirled his tongue around the engorged head. The tip of his tongue dipped in and out of the slit until Sasuke was panting hard and squirming.

"C'mon," Sasuke panted impatiently. "Fuck."

Deidara pushed his mouth further down on Sasuke's dick and came back up. He bobbed his head a few more times, find a comfortable pace for Sasuke's girth and set to work. Sasuke was a little embarrassed at how quickly he began falling apart. The blond knew how to work with his mouth.

"A-Ah, shit. Shit, not so fast," Sasuke warned. He thrust his hips shallowly into Deidara's mouth, pleased when the blond took his movements in stride. "Slow d-down!" He growled, feeling a familiar coil low in his abdomen. Deidara did him one better and pulled away from his cock with a wet pop.

"Let's move to the bed," he said, smiling up at Sasuke with swollen red lips.

They fell onto the bed, mouths already connected. Sasuke loved the taste of his own precum mixed with Deidara's saliva. Yes, he was definitely a pervert. He reached down between their bodies as they kissed and found Deidara's pants already undone. Smirking into the kiss, he snaked his hand down the other's front and gripped his dick.

"Oh fuck!" Deidara yelped.

Sasuke flipped them over and stood momentarily. He kicked off his boots and shoved his jeans and boxers all the way down, allowing his dick to stand proud. Deidara's hand found his own dick as he watched Sasuke undress. Sculpted abs were revealed as well as Sasuke yanked his shirt over his head and let it fall.

"Shit, you're more gorgeous than I thought."

"Thanks," Sasuke grinning, pulling off Deidara's shoes and pants. He swatted the blond's hand away and gripped the hard, velvety flesh in his own hand. He swiped his thumb through the precum that had gathered and smeared it around the head of Deidara's cock. "Lube? Condoms?"

"Pocket."

Sasuke reached down into Deidara's pants and produced a bottle of lube and two condoms. He smirked at the blushing blond and stroked his cock gently. "Someone came prepared." Deidara moaned in response. "Turn over," Sasuke ordered. He popped the cap on the lube and spread it over his fingers. "Need me to start with one?" he asked.

"T-two."

"Little slut," Sasuke moaned as he shoved two fingers into Deidara's awaiting asshole. The blond arched his back and let out a strangled cry. Sasuke pumped his fingers in and out, scissoring them occasionally. With his other hand he reached forward and stroked Deidara's cock so the blond wouldn't go soft. He added a third finger and probed around in the tight heat of Deidara's ass.

"Nngh! Aaah! S-Sasuke, there! There!"

Sasuke pressed his fingers against the nub he'd found and continued to stroke the dick in his hand. "Feel good?"

"Nn, yeah, yes!"

Sasuke had had enough. He wasn't here to make love to this guy; he just wanted to fuck him. Releasing the blond, he fumbled with the condom and finally ripped it open. He rolled the rubber down onto his aching dick and grunted a quick, "Ready?" before pushing into the tight little hole.

Deidara threw his head back with a screech. Sasuke clenched his jaw, feeling the other tighten around him. He waited a few moments before pulling back and slamming back in. There was no rhythm to his thrusts, no gentleness, nothing but raw, animalistic hunger and need for satisfaction. Deidara was writhing and moaning beneath him, begging him to go faster, harder. Who was he to deny the blond his pleasure too? He fucked him hard, speaking no words but listening to every word the other spoke. He wasn't a complete heartless bastard.

"S-Sasuke, gonna, haah, ahhh, c-cum! I'm gonna..." Deidara trailed off as his body jerked violently with his orgasm. "Nnngh," he groaned; his entire body trembling.

Sasuke thrust hard into the constricting hole a few more times and felt his orgasm race through him. He collapsed forward, breathing harshly into the back of Deidara's neck. They lay still for a few minutes before Sasuke pulled his cold, limp dick from the other's ass and discarded the condom. He glanced at the glowing numbers on the alarm clock. 3:00AM.

"You can stay here if you want," Deidara offered. "We can clean up and sleep. I'll keep you warm."

Sasuke nodded in agreement, too tired to even think about walking back to his dorm and possibly being shut out because Shikamaru was fucking. He let Deidara clean them both up and get him under the blankets.

The blond curled up in front of him, his hair tickling Sasuke's nose. Sasuke buried his face in the blond locks and inhaled deeply. It was nice to sleep tangled with another body once in a while.

"Hey," Deidara said softly.

"Hm?"

"Think we could do this again? I'd like to have sex with you when you aren't just using me to get off."

"I'm that transparent huh?"

Deidara snorted. "You couldn't have been more distant if you were on another planet."

"We'll see, huh," Sasuke yawned.

"Yeah… we'll see."

And for the first time, Sasuke slept without any thoughts of his blond crush.