Dear Sirius,
Congratulations! When I read you letter I was a little shocked to hear you were having a baby, but I'm so happy to hear about the new little addition to our family. Little Dora is excited to hear she's going to have a new baby cousin. You better write me with all kinds of updates! And I'm always here if you need some kind of advice.
Love,
Andromeda
PS: Why not come and visit me and Ted this summer with the baby? You haven't come to see me in awhile.
Sirius smiled at the letter from his cousin. Andromeda was truly his favorite cousin. She'd been disowned a few years before she had because she'd married a nice muggleborn guy named Ted Tonks. They now had a darling daughter named Nymphadora. Sirius folded up the letter and set in on his night stand, before walking downstairs. Madame Pomfrey said they would learn the gender today if they wanted. Sirius was excited. Like bouncing off the walls excitement.
"Leave my stomach alone please," he heard Gracie hiss at James.
"Aw, but Gracie, you've got one of those cute little baby bumps. It just screams 'pat me! I'm a baby!'" James laughed, patting his cousin's head. Sirius smiled and walked over. Gracie was now a whopping 16 weeks pregnant. Her stomach was growing pretty steadily much to her dismay, but it was still pretty much hidden by the school uniform.
"No, it is not cute. I'm fat, and there's a little demon baby in here that makes me puke and gave me nosebleeds for weeks, and its got nails and its gonna like attack me while I'm giving birth!" she exclaimed. "Did you know some babies need to have their nails trimmed at birth. Imagine giving birth to a baby with long nails!"
"That sounds like a muggle horror movie Lily made me watch…" mumbled James.
"With pain potions you'll never even know if or if not the baby has nails to 'attack you'," sighed Sirius, rubbing her back. "Ready to go to Madame Pomfrey? I wanna know the gender."
"You get to know the gender today?" asked James.
"Yeah! You wanna come and learn the gender of your godchild?" asked Sirius. He heard Gracie sigh.
"Hell yes!"
"What's going on?" asked Remus, walking up.
"We're gonna go find out the gender today," said Sirius, trying to act mature despite his childish excitement. "Wanna come too, Remus?"
"Are you inviting the whole damn house, Sirius?" asked Gracie irritably.
"James and Remus are gonna be the godparents, so isn't it right that they'd be there?" said Sirius.
"Isn't it normal for there to be a godmother and a godfather, not two godfathers?" asked Gracie.
"I'm not close enough with any girls to name them godmother, so the baby's gonna have two godfathers." Gracie sighed and shook her head, before starting to walk away. The four walked to the infirmary, the boys talking excitedly about what they'd teach the little boy they were so sure the baby was.
"Hello, Madame Pomfrey," Sirius greeted.
"Hello, Sirius, Grace-Ann," Pomfrey looked up. "And James and Remus. Are all of you here for the appointment…?" They nodded.
"Can we know the gender now?" asked Sirius excitedly. James nodded beside him. Pomfrey smiled at them and motioned for Gracie to lay on the bed. She walked over and laid down, pulling up her shirt, showing off her baby bump. Sirius smiled at her, and patted her stomach lovingly. She looked away. He sighed and stepped back. Sirius knew Pomfrey had noticed Gracie's disattachment to the baby, but didn't say anything to him. She pulled out her wand, waving it around and mumbled a spell. Similar to previous visits, a paper popped out of the end of her wand, but this time she handed it to Sirius. Sirius took the paper and looked down at it. On it was a photograph of a fetus, curled up with a thumb in their mouth. He smiled at it. This was the first time he'd seen his child.
"It looks like you're having a little girl, Sirius, Gracie," Pomfrey said with a smile.
"A girl?" asked Sirius in disbelief. For some reason, he'd been absolutely sure that he'd be having a son. Still, the idea of a daughter brought a smile to his face. A little girl that looked like Grace would be nice. But…he wasn't sure he could raise a girl without Gracie. He was good with girls, he was go at getting what he wanted from them, but could he truly raise one? He looked at Grace. "Gracie, do you wanna see her?" he asked, holding out the picture.
"No," Gracie sat up and pulled down her shirt. "I'm gonna go do my Defense against the Dark Arts essay." She got up and walked away.
"Still not coming around, huh?" asked James, patting Sirius' shoulder supportively.
"She will soon. Knowing the baby's gender will make her more real to her," added Remus with a smile.
"But hey, even if she doesn't, you've still got us," said James. "I'm not sure what good I'll be helping you raise a girl, but hey, she's my goddaughter, isn't she?"
"Yeah, thanks you two." Sirius smiled at them.
Sirius sat down next to Gracie that evening in the common room. "Gracie, do you love me?" he asked quietly, taking her hand. She looked at him, and sighed.
"Sirius, I've been in love with you since I was 13," she sighed, running a hand threw her hair.
"Then…why do you hate our daughter…?" he asked. "She's part of us. We created her together, with our love." Gracie looked at him, and started laughing.
"You sound so corny, Sirius!"
"Grace-Ann Wendell Potter , this isn't a laughing manner!" exclaimed Sirius, frustrated. He'd been trying to keep his cool through out all this. He was hoping everyone was right, and she'd come around, but it seemed to appear like she really didn't care. All this was so against the Gracie he loved. The Gracie he'd made this baby with. His Gracie was sweet and caring and funny, not someone who would just toss her baby aside passively. "Gracie, I can't be with you anymore if your gonna continue to be so passive about our baby." She stared at him. "I love you. I love you so, so much, Grace-Ann Potter, but I love our daughter too, and I will choose my child over you." Grace stared at him, shocked.
"How…could you love someone you've never met more than me…?" she whispered, looking at her stomach.
"Because she's part of me, and part of you. She's our baby, Gracie. We made her. How could I not love her?" Sirius took her hand and placed it on her stomach. "I can't understand how you can't love her."
"I…I don't know, Sirius…I tried…but…I can't bring myself to be happy about this. I'm 16, Sirius. I'm a kid. How can I raise a kid?" Sirius sighed.
"I have no idea how I'm gonna do it either, Gracie. I'm gonna have to get Andromeda to babysit her while I'm at Auror training, and even though I'll get damn good money once I finish my training, enough to give her a good life, I'll have three months where I won't be getting shit. I'm gonna have to borrow money from my Uncle Alphard," explained Sirius. "I get you still have a year of school, and I get that you had big plans, but things change, Gracie." He looked at her. "I don't want to loose you, but if you don't wanna be in this baby's life I don't understand how we can be together. But I'll leave you to think about it as long as you need." She nodded silently. Sirius leaned forward and kissed her temple. "I love you Gracie, I really do."
