[#3] of Astaarit Asaaranda | Rise Thunderstorm
Warning: There is sick in this one. I know some people don't like it. It isn't described in detail, however.
Lite glanced at the healer and for once, she was able to see his true emotion. He was as surprised as her. Hawke started for the tent flap, feeling eager and anxious at the same time. Wanting nothing but to enter that tent and wanting to run away from it also.
She followed the towering Guard to his post, and he gestured for her to enter. He didn't open the flap for her. Lite steeled herself and took a deep breath, then reached for the flap which lead to the Arishoks personal tent. She didn't want to linger too long outside but nerves made her unsteady.
When she ducked inside, she found the usual curtain which separated his sleeping area tied back to reveal the Qunari leader laid in a huge bed which rested on the floor. Furs of all colours surrounded him, and he felt herself freeze on the spot. He was laid on his back, with his shoulders and head propped on a roll of some material. His eyes were open and watching her.
Lite didn't know what to do. She was so far out of her comfort zone, she felt like she was being drowned by a strong current in a lake. "Arishok," her voice was shaken to her own ears. Damn, he wouldn't appreciate her treating him like he was glass. She knew this to be true when he said nothing in return.
So Hawke steeled herself once again and walked towards him. She stopped a respectful distance from the bottom on his bed, only just on the line which separated the two areas. "How are you feeling?" She asked, and she knew it was a stupid question as soon as the words left her mouth.
He was furious, she sensed it now. She could almost taste it anger in the air as it rolled off of him in waves. She shallowed hard. "Can you tell me, Hawke, why the Tal-vashoth would use your name in their schemes?"
"I don't know," she returned, her voice low and cracked. To get to you? She couldn't say that out loud and so she looked away, to the ground at her feet. To the carpet which rested there.
His anger boiled over. The anger which only the leader of the Qunari armies could muster. It was terrifying. "You do not know?!" He bellowed. "We're you not where you said you were Hawke?!"
How dare he ask that! "You know where I was," she shouted back, her cheeks heated. "I have nothing to do with that attack, and you know that Arishok. Your scouts know that or they would not allow me inside your compound!"
Her breathing was laboured by emotion. She didn't care if he thought her weak then. He was being stupid! "I thought you trusted me! How could you accuse me of helping the ones who hurt you? Who killed and injured your men? I wouldn't not do that!"
He growled, and she took a step back at the sound. She'd never heard it before. "Do I, Hawke? Do I know that?" He sneered, and her metal fingers dig into her hand so hard she knew she was bleeding under her gloves.
"If the day ever came," she breathed out, her own anger making her voice hard. "When I was forced to face you and your men, I would not allow others to do it for me! I would face you myself!"
She knew talking about attaching him wasn't something smart but it annoyed her how he thought she could plot and hide while others attacked? It was bullshit. She never let anyone do her dirty work.
"You would face me?!" He bellowed so loud she took a step back. Then his faces twisted. "Do you fear me now, Hawke?"
She crushed her teeth together which bared them at him. "I am angry," she told him, and forced herself to take a step forward. "Not afraid. I am hurt that you would think those things of me."
"Emotions," the Arishok snarled. "Useless traits which mean nothing. You are weak if my words cause you 'hurt'. Those of the Qun would accept them and move on!"
"I am not of the Qun," she spoke in a very quite voice. Worse than screaming, she knew. It would scare her family when she used it because they knew then that her long patience was snapped. Her white eyes must have resembled a blizzard.
"And that is your flaw," he continued. "If you had been..." And his words hit her, her legs almost buckled. Was he saying that if she had been here, then he wouldn't have almost died? That she could have done something?
Her face must have been a clash of emotions for her closed his eyes. He lifted a hand to point at the tent flap. "Leave. Now."
She wanted to protest. To carry on their argument until it was fixed, somehow but she dare not push him. So Hawke clenched her jaw and stiffly turned her back on him.
He coughed, and she paused. When she looked over her shoulder, he was hunched to one side and his hand was to his mouth. When he started choking, all thought let her. She ran for him as she started convulsing and threw up at the side on the bed. It hit her leg but she didn't care, not when he could die.
"Get a healer," she cried, panic and fear in her voice. His body was far stronger than hers and she had to fight her hardest to get him to keep his head up. He almost cause her face with his horns but she didn't care.
"You need to sit up. Arishok, you need to sit up. Please." She managed to wrap her arms around his shoulder and half yank, half hold his torso up so he didn't choke on his own sick. She cupped the back of his head in an attempt to keep his weight up. It was straining and took all her strength.
The healer arrived in what felt like too long minutes. He knelt by her side swiftly to take over. "I need your help," he told her. "Get to the other side and help me hold him up."
She nodded and was already doing as he said. Together they managed to sit him up but he was still throwing up. The healer smashed some plants together and added it to water to make a paste as she tried to wipe the sick away with her scarf. The one her father had given to her on her birthday before he died. It didn't matter, she needed to make sure his mouth was clear of it. When she pried it open, she found sharp teeth.
"Don't swallow it," she told him, but he seemed barely lucid.
The healer came to them then and placed the bowl to his lips. "Keep his head up," he informed. "Make sure he takes this."
She grasped the back of his head to keep him from flinging it back while they forced him to take in the medicine. The thing which tore at her was that he was silent. He was suffering but he was completely silent. Unlike before when he'd growled and bared his teeth at her, now he was simply taking it. Without thinking about it, she pushed her fingers through his sweat sleeked hair at the back of his head and kneaded lightly.
The healer had to hold his jaw closed to ensure that he swallowed all of the concoction. When he had, they both waited for the shocks to lesson. Either seemed to breath or move an inch until his body turned from tense to lacks. Lite brought her eyes away only a moment to glance at the healers expression. She daren't ask any questions.
The healer let out a shaky breath, and she realised they could have been close to loosing him again. "Will he be okay now?" Her voice cracked, was barely even a whisper.
"There must have been been some poison left," he said, and he frowned hair. He probably felt like he'd failed. Lite felt like ripping her hair out but she still managed to reach over the hand which had been on the Arishoks arm and place it over the elfs hand. His eyes flicked to hers, shocked.
"You might not have known what the poison was the first time," she said, trying to sound confident. "You had no way to know how to combat it. But now," her voice cracked again. "These symptoms and the medicine you gave him. It should help you narrow down the search. Find the poisons name, and it may give us some insight into who these bastards are."
He stared at her with a strange expression. And she almost expected him to smack her in the mouth. But he simply took his hand away from hers, but not before giving her fingers a quick squeeze. "You are right."
When they looked to the side, they found the two guards inside and three others who appeared to be healers and carers. All eyes were on them. The elves at the front seemed to be staring at her with open mouths. The healers voice snapped them out of it though. "Take Hawke to my tent. Allow her time to clean, then bring her food and drink." The elven woman to the right bowed her head.
"I don't need to-" she began, but the healer gave her a hard look. "You have helped me much here, with the Arishoks life, but now you must leave it to us. I will come find you when he stabilises."
It was only then that she realised she was knelt on his bed, and her arms were visibly shaking. Her eyes must have been as wide as her mothers dinners plates. She hadn't been so shaken for many years. Not since her fathers death. That had knocked her clean off her feet and left her reeling for far longer than she...no, she was still reeling from that. Even now.
"Very well," she said, and rose to follow the elf out. She didn't look at the guards as the watched her, or the other healers. When they reached the healers tent, she watched the girl gestured nervously to the bunk so Hawke took a seat. It was then she found she'd wrapped her hands tightly around her sick covered scarf and had nearly put holes in it.
The girl appeared again with a barrel of water and a small cloth towel which hung on the handle. Then she bowed and left. Lite wasn't sure she was glad of the quite, of being alone with her thoughts. But she settled, if she was with someone now she might just punch them in frustration.
Hawke set about cleaning her armour and hair. Then she dunked her scarf in the water and ringed it out. She folded it and placed it on the end of the cot to dry while she bent her head into her hands. She didn't want to look in the water to see her reflection, not that she could now it was murky.
When the girl returned maker knew how long later, it could have been days and Hawke felt she wouldn't notice. The girl handed her a tray of food, with a cup of some liquid she didn't know. Didn't care at the minute either. And so she stuffed the bread buns in her face and chugged down the liquid. She didn't taste any of it, and had to fight not to throw it all up again with the way her stomach was playing up.
Hawke felt she had aged years in just a few hours. She placed the tray on the floor, not trusting her legs or wanting to disturb anything on the healers table. When she leaned down into the cot, she expected to close her eyes only for a moment. It was the day, after all, not matter how dim it was outside. But she found herself flat out as soon as her head hit the material.
She was woken sometime later when the flap opened and closed. When Hawke managed to clean her eyes of sleep, she found the food tray and water barrel were gone. Someone could have slit her throat in her sleep, still, she didn't care at the moment. The healer stepped through, looking more haggard then she'd ever seen him.
"You need to eat and sleep," she told him, and he shot her a look.
"Don't turn my words on me," he was snappy. Just like her. They both looked like they'd been through hell. The Arishok meant something to both of them. To everyone in that camp.
"How is he?" She asked when the silence grew too much.
The healer rubbed his jaw roughly, and Hawke was surprised he didn't leave red marks. "The poison is gone. I did all the tests possible to make sure it would not come back again. He needs medicine hourly though, until his insides are able to repair."
That sounded bad. "Maker," she breathed, and put her face in her hands. The healer was quite, so she asked more questions. "How long will he have to have hourly medication?"
"I can not say yet," he rubbed his forehead then. "Two days at a minimal." Hawke realised that he was trusting her with this information, and she felt grateful for that."
He read her expression again. "You helped saved his life, Hawke. If you hadn't done what you'd done, he would have choked on the poison before I could reach him. You would not have worked so hard to keep him alive had you wanted to harm him."
"I'm glad,"her voice broke and she had to cough to clear her throat. "That I was able to do that."
The healer studied her with those vastly intelligent eyes, and she simply stared blankly back. They were both exhausted. Even after her well rested sleep, she felt like she needed another twelve hours. She couldn't imagine what he felt like.
"Healer," she called to him. "You need to sleep-"
"No, I must oversee-"
"You can not look after him to the best of your abilities if you can barely stand up," she scolded. "Your people are healers, that is their role. Trust them to follow it."
She had him there, and he knew. His eyes closed in defeat. When he opened his eyes, she was pinned to the spot with his gaze. "He trusts you, and so do I," was all he said.
Hawke nodded, catching his hidden meaning. "You rest. I'll keep watch. If anything happens, I'll wake you."
He stared at her a moment longer before heading for his own cot and laying down. He laid with his back to her, facing the tent side. Hawke sat on her own cot and listened closely. He was a sleep within half an hour. No doubt stubbornly holding it off for as long as he could still, listening for any commotion.
Lite didn't care how long it took, she would watch over him and the Arishok, if from a far. She would not sleep, would not betray his trust and so she sat up, her legs crossed and her mind on a lot of things. That was enough to keep her from drifting.
The sky was dark by the time there was a voice at the door. When the healer didn't stir, she realise how exhausted he must have been. "Hold on," she called, and threw her legs over the other side of the cot to approach the sleeping elf. She touched his shoulder lightly.
His eyes snapped open but he didn't attack. His frame was tense as he looked at her from the corner of his slightly glazed over eye. "I'm sorry," she told him, for touching him. "There's someone at the door."
He nodded and was up almost immediately. She watched his head to the tent flap and open it to one of his people. They spoke in low voices which she couldn't hear. Instead waited for him to tell her whatever he wanted.
When the two were done, he motioned for her to follow him. She did, without much thought. They headed to the Arishoks tent again, and she was relieved when she stepped inside to see he had been cleaned up and made comfortable. He appeared to be unconscious thought. A quick frown at the healer conformed he didn't look concerned.
The healer called for her. "Hawke, come see this," and she watched as he showed her the herbs and such things he used for the Arishoks hourly medicine.
"Now watch," he told her, in a teacher like tone as he lifted the Arishoks head and placed the bowl to his lips. Hawke was glad to see he took it pretty much on his own.
"Why are you showing this to me?" She asked, slightly confused. "You're not planning on going anywhere, are you?"
He placed the bowl down, and she found herself sitting beside him as she'd been watching him work. He studied her, like he always did. "I would but find the ones who did this, were I able to leave. That I must allow to fall into your hands. But if it were that I were unable to do this," he gestured to the bowl. "I would like you to be able to know how."
She nodded her agreement. "I won't stop until I've found some solid evidence."
"You're only searching for evidence?" A small smile played on his lips, his eyes brighter than she'd seen them in awhile.
"I will find the people who did this," she told him, with conviction in her voice. "But I will leave them to you, and your people. They are not mine to judge...or fry," she added, and it was the first time she'd made a comment about her powers. He didn't seem put off by it.
"You are an honourable woman, Hawke."
She glanced at the floor, wanting to deny it. But instead she settled on, "Thank you." She looked at the Arishoks hand then. It was so large, with dark clawed finger nails. She wanted to reached out and grasp it but would not.
There was another voice at the flap, and the healer called for them to enter. It was a human this time, and she was surprised. "Serah Hawke," the person bowed and she recognised the accent as Fereldan. "Your companions are at the gates."
"What?" She blurted out. Then remembers she'd promised Varric to meet at the hanged man. "Damn it," she muttered then. "I was meant to meet them," she told the frowning healer, who nodded his understanding. "They came to check on me."
"You should go with them," the healer said.
"What? No. You just said, what if you're not around to-"
"I will be fine for the night, Serah Hawke."
She growled then, actually growled and she saw the human look startled and the elf smirk. "I won't leave him like this-"
"Hawke," the healer cautioned. "The Arishok is one of the three pillars of the Qun. Believe in him."
Those words stunned her, and her heart hammered with shame as her cheeks heated. "I do," she murmured, and she meant it. "I really do." She couldn't care about the Qun, she cared for the Arishok. He was the pillar she would follow. And the elf smiled, one which was genuine, like he felt the same.
"Go Hawke," he gestured with his head. "Before your companions cause trouble." There was a smirk to his voice.
"I would not question them breaking in, even if it would start a war," she admitted, as she stood. "I will be back tomorrow," she cautioned, with a tone of if you don't let me in, I'll bloody well start a war.
The healer smiled. "I expected nothing less."
With one last look at the Arishok, she turned on her heels to follow the human out. Just as the flaps closed behind her, she could have sworn she heard the Arishoks low rumbled voice along with the healers. A shiver traveled down her spine at the thought of him listening to what she'd just said. She shook her head to forget it for now.
When she reached the steps, she found the Qunari who usually held her staff gone. Her stomach did a small drop. No, she knew he wouldn't just throw it away. As she descended the steps, he appeared from out of nowhere with her staff in hand.
"Bas," he called to her, as he looked unsure of what else to call her yet he didn't seem happy about that word either. She felt she was more than just a human to their eyes now.
She smiled at him, and took the staff. He nodded to her, and she felt he must have heard about what had been happening. She gave him another smile and a nod before heading after the human and the gates.
"That will be all," she told the human as the gates opened. He nodded, and took off else where. As the gates closed behind her back, she suddenly felt sick. Almost home sick, like she'd been when they'd first arrived, like she couldn't stand to be away from home. She pushed the feeling aside strongly.
"If anything happens," she told the guards quietly. "Don't hesitate to send a runner." She knew they didn't take orders from her, but they both nodded anyway. That was all she asked.
"There you are Hawke," Varric called, his arms outstretched to her. "We were getting worried."
"Im here now," she tried to smile, but they saw through it. Damn, even the guards would.
As she started down the steps, Varric asked, almost panicked, "Lite, where's your scarf?"
She remembered she'd left it in the healers tent. Never had she left it anywhere but she knew it would be okay, that was the only thing which kept her from turning straight around.
"It'll be fine,"she told him.
"Hawke, you've never-" and at her pleading look, she quietened.
"Kenna, are you sure you're alright?" Sebastian asked, and she found her face would not lift.
"Yeah," she intoned, and reached for Varric's hand that he had on her arm. He knew something was up, she was never touchy feely unless she really needed to reassurance or comfort. He took her cold hand in his warm gloved one, then brought up the other to rub it.
"She'll be fine, Princling," Varric spoke for her. He knew what she needed. To head to his room and have a drink alone. "Come on," he pulled on her hand. "Let's go."
All she could do was nod weakly as he gripped her hand and they stated for the hanged man. Lite found herself squeezing his fingers. Thankful to him for his support and not questioning why she'd been in the compound so late.
She really loved Varric. To demonstrate, she bent while they walked to place a kiss on his head. He didn't object, as he would to anyone else, and she knew he loved her too. Both in their own ways.
...
Another chapter!
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