A/N I'm sorry this took so long. I had internet and everything while on vacation, but I just didn't feel like writing for this story. I knew I had to write today, and that's why I'm doing it now. I haven't been feeling good lately. Depression hit again and I did some things that I now regret, but seemed like the right thing at the time. I have no idea when I'm going to write again. School starts Monday and I need to be up really, really early every morning, which means I'll be tired at the end of the day. My bus leaves at 6:45 A.M. for school and drops me off at 5:25 PM. I'll try to write soonish though, okay? Thank you for the lovely reviews, R/R!
It was finally the day that Ryan was coming home for good, but I couldn't let myself feel relieved until I saw him walk through those gates. He'd been gone for about a year, just like he'd planned on all along, and things had been rough while he was away. This time it wasn't a violent rough, just rough because I missed him so much. I'd given birth to a beautiful baby girl in early March. Her name is Elisa Dawn Atwood, and she looks so much like Ryan that it makes me lose my breath sometimes. Her eyes are my color, her hair is sandy blonde like Ryan's, she has my high cheek bones, and Ryan's intense gaze. There was no denying the fact that Ryan was in fact the father and that had made him very, very proud when he found out.
"We have a surprise for you," Kirsten says, wheeling something into the room. I glance at them curiously, holding Elisa lovingly in my arms. The delivery had been hard for me, and I was very tired, but I just wanted to hold her in my arms since I couldn't have Ryan with me right now. She already looked so much like her father that it surprised me.
"What would that be?" I ask, looking at the monitor that they're hooking up. They hook up what seems to be a computer and I furrow my eyebrows a little. "What are you guys doing?"
They don't reply and then they turn on the screen. They do some stuff, and then suddenly I see Ryan on the screen, looking around for me. "Marissa?"
"Ryan?" I ask, tears starting to form in my eyes. I hadn't seen him in such a long time it seemed, just talked to him on the phone occasionally and wrote to him.
He found me and immediately smiled. "How'd it go?"
"It hurt…I wish you'd been here with me," I admit with a sigh.
"I'm sorry," he says softly. "I wish I could've been there, I really do…"
I smile. "I know."
He looks at the bundle in my arms and asks, "Who does she look like?" I can see the fear in his eyes that she won't be his and try to hide my smile, knowing he'd know right away that it was his. I decide to make him squirm a little bit.
"Well, I don't know about her eyes just yet, but the shape seems to be mine, and she has my cheekbones…" I look up into his eyes and then say, "She looks pretty much like her father though. She has sandy blonde hair…"
I don't even have to finish, Ryan breaks out into a large grin. "So she's mine? For sure? No doubt about it, completely one hundred percent my baby?" The joy in his eyes was so large that I couldn't help but grin also.
"Yeah, you're officially a daddy now," I say softly, looking into his eyes through the screen. Somehow, even with thousands of miles separating us, we connect in a way not many people get the chance to. As we continued to talk until he had to go, I couldn't get over the fact that this was my life, and I finally felt like I was living it.
They announce that his flight has landed and I feel myself become all nervous. Elisa is right next to me along with the Cohens and I wonder how she'll react to actually being able to see and touch Ryan. We've been trying to do the web cam a couple of times a month whenever Ryan could find a free moment. She'd learned that he was her dad and one of her first words was, 'da' (her first of course was 'ma'). Ryan loved her, sometimes I thought more than me. Whenever he'd see her his whole face would light up, just like it does for me.
The Cohens were going to watch her tonight to give Ryan and me some alone time. It wasn't like she'd be very far away, and if we wanted to see her, all we'd have to do was go into the main house, but Ryan and I had been waiting to be alone together since he left. I probably didn't make anything easier with my constant teasing on the webcam when Elisa was asleep or in another room.
"So you know what I've been missing" I ask Ryan, my eyes sparkling with apparent desire.
He swallows hard
and asks, "What?"
"Me and you…in bed…" I say, my voice seductive.
"Is that so?" He asks, pulling at his shirt uncomfortably.
"Mhmm…"I say. I reach for the ends of my robe and say, "I thought that I should give you a reminder of what's waiting for you when you get back…" I undo my robe and slowly slide it off, revealing my naked body. Ryan gulps and stares at it for a long time, not able to form any words. It makes me blush at him looking at me that way, even if we already have conceived a child.
I close my robe again and Ryan looks back into my eyes. "I assure you I can never forget that…" He shifts uncomfortably, and looks down at his lap. It makes me grin to think of just how turned on he may be at that moment.
"I just had to make sure…" I wink at him and he grins widely. I can't wait until he comes home.
I see Ryan and smile widely. I leave Elisa with the Cohens and practically run over to him, not able to keep myself away from him a single moment longer. By the looks of it, he feels the exact same way. He lifts me into his arms and kisses me hard on the mouth, our tongues instantly mingling with the others. I taste him and feel my heart go crazy inside my chest, and wrap my arms and legs around him. His hair has grown out a little more than before, and I rake my fingers through it for a few minutes before we both pull back for air, then continue our mind blowing kiss. No one interrupts us, knowing that we need this together. I figure it must be difficult for the Cohens to watch though, considering Ryan is their son and watching your son make out with someone probably isn't as great as it is for him.
I pull back and unravel myself from his body. "There's someone that wants to formally meet you," I murmur, looking into his eyes. I've grown, but Ryan seems to have grown a little as well.
He looks behind my shoulder and sees Elisa staring at him curiously, almost as if she was
wondering if he was real or not. He seems nervous for a second and asks, "What if she doesn't like me?"
I bite my lip to keep from laughing and softly say, "She's going to love you. It's kind of hard not to."
He sighs and says, "I don't know…"
I lace our fingers together and make him look into his eyes. "I'm right here with you, it'll be okay."
"Who knew you'd be the one reassuring me?" He asks, his eyes shining brightly with love.
"I don't know," I admit, thinking of all the times he's made me feel better. "Come on," I say, pulling him over to Elisa. I pick up Elisa and say, "Elisa, baby, do you know who this is?" I see her look at Ryan and contemplate it in her mind.
"Da?" She asks, her tiny voice unsure.
Ryan smiles and nods. "Yeah, it's me little one," he says softly, using his nickname for her, 'little one.'
She smiles, more convinced and comfortable now. She reaches out with her little hand and reaches towards Ryan, so I take a step closer to him and he leans in, letting her put her hand against his cheek. The minute that her fingers touched his skin, his eyes seem to show so much adoration for her that it makes me feel my own heart melt watching them interact. His smile widens and he looks at me happily, his eyes showing how much amazement he feels at finally getting to be with our daughter. I hand her over to him and he kisses her cheek, her forehead, all over her face and she giggles. "Look, he's a natural," Sandy murmurs to Kirsten. I hear him and turn to see everyone watching the interaction with a large smile.
Standing there in the airport with two of my favorite people in the world was the most amazing feeling in the world, almost as if the stars were aligning and the universe was finally perfect.
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When we get to the pool house, Ryan looks around to examine how much of it has changed since he left. There's a crib in it, and it's scattered with tons of stuff for Elisa. "There goes my bachelor pad.." He murmurs teasingly.
I roll my eyes and wrap my arms around his neck. "Yeah, that's right, no more bachelor pad for you. You're stuck with us."
He smiles and wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer to his body. "I don't even want to be a bachelor."
"You sure?" I ask. "I hear it's so much fun…" I hope he knows I'm just joking.
He looks at me and says, "I wouldn't want to be a bachelor when I'm with you and Elisa. You guys are everything I need."
I smile and say, "Glad to hear it." I lean in and kiss him softly, but he quickly deepens the kiss, slipping his tongue into my mouth. I pull back a little and ask, "Are you sure you want to start planning the wedding though? I mean…you're going to be starting college, and I'm still in high school, if you don't want to do it just yet, it can be a long engagement…"
He shakes his head and says, "I want you to officially be mine." I smile and lean in to kiss him again.
We find ourselves on the edge of the bed and I quickly take off Ryan's shirt, feeling his chest beneath my fingers. I pull back and run my fingers along it, feeling how hard and toned it is. He shivers slightly and I look up into his eyes, seeing him watching me curiously. I kiss his neck, and then slowly trail down to his chest, each kiss soft and yet passionate. He moans a little and I reach for the buttons of his pants and unbutton them slowly, then pull down the zipper, feeling Ryan get harder and harder by the second as my hands work trying to pull off his pants. He kicks them off and then he sits on the bed and pulls me down onto him, looking into my eyes with so much love and desire that I couldn't tell which was which. "I've been thinking of this since you took off your robe that one day," he admits, his voice husky and seductive, just like mine had been.
I smile and say, "Good." I lean in and kiss him, towering over him on his lap. I wrap my legs around his waist and he moves his hands up my back and to my hair, pulling off the rubber band that's been holding my pony tail up. I pull back and shake my hair a little, trying to get it to a normal position, and then reconnect our lips. He tangles his fingers in my hair and pulls my face even closer to his, if that's at all possible. Our tongues stroke each other's, neither of us able to get enough. He untangles his hands from my hair and then slowly slides them down my body and under my shirt, his hands tauntingly inching towards my breasts. He unhooks the bra from behind, and then I pull back so that he can take off my shirt and bra. He throws them across the room, not really caring where they end up, and then he starts to kiss down my jaw line, to my neck, and then my collar bone, and then finally my breasts.
I moan loudly and he buries his face into them, doing wonders with his mouth, especially his tongue. I run my hands through his hair, marveling at the feel of it after all this time. he continues to assault my chest, and I rub myself against his hardness. His breath catches in his throat, and he flips us over so that my back is on the bed and he's hovering over me in his boxers. He kisses down my stomach, to my jeans, and I take in a sharp intake of breath. He starts to unbutton my jeans, and then unzips them, his lips moving further down my body. He pulls my jeans down, kissing every piece of skin his reveals, making me squirm underneath him, my body feeling like it's on fire.
When my jeans are off, he pulls down my panties, leaving me completely naked for him to indulge himself in. He kisses back up my legs, and then to the inner part of my thigh, causing me to breathe erratically. Suddenly I can' take it anymore and I whimper, "Ryan…" He tries to get me to open my legs, but I shake my head and say, "I need the real thing…" He looks into my lust driven eyes and sees that I can't take it anymore, so he kisses his way back up my body, his previous mission forgotten. He reconnects our lips and I slip my fingers into his boxers, running my fingers over the length of him. He moans and then I know that he needs this just as much as me, so I quickly shed him of his boxers.
I quickly fumble on the nightstand for some of his condoms, and quickly roll it onto him. I love my daughter, but I'm not ready for another child, no matter how much I need him inside of me at this exact minute. When it's finally on, I say, "Now," and then he's inside of me. I had almost forgotten how great this was, especially without a pregnant belly in the way of us. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his lips to mine, tasting him as he pumps quickly inside of me. I feel the waves of intense pleasure wash through me and then after probably the quickest time ever, we both come at the same time, Ryan collapsing by me. We breathe heavily and cling to each other, and I figure this is a great way to start forever with him.
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I'm sorry this took so long. I had internet and everything while on vacation, but I just didn't feel like writing for this story. I knew I had to write today, and that's why I'm doing it now.
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As I said earlier, I don't know when I'm writing again. My next AE will be choice B, so look out for that. I think I'm going to call it, 'Hard Habit To Break.'
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I don't have much time. The only thing I'm going to say is that sailaway, I'll take your idea into consideration. It would be pretty fun to write.
