AN: I'm so sorry guys! Sorry it's been a long time since I've updated. Things have been pretty busy around here. But don't worry, the school year will end on March 16th, and there's a possibility for me to update regularly. And also, this is a rewrite of the 4th chapter, because the original one was in Katniss POV. I guess I got a bit lost when writing her, and I turned back to Peeta. I love Peeta.
I don't own any of the things you recognize.
I just had to do it.
Why am I so stupid? Whatever I did can cost my friendship with Katniss, now with all she remembers. I fully understand my actions and what it may cost, though I can't make myself pull away. I wait for our lips to part, but she doesn't move. I open my eyes and see surprise in her own. I pull away immediately and mutter a quick apology. I take a glance at Gale, whose eyes are set on the tiled floor. I repeat my apology and wobble out of the Everdeen household.
The cold water that splashes on my face removes some of the fogginess in my head, making me rethink all that I had just done. I look up and see my red-faced reflection on the mirror. I don't know whether the cause of this is the alcohol or my embarrassment. I'm such a letdown. I wipe my face dry and continue to my bedroom. I lie in my bed, thinking of different scenarios of how Katniss will react when she sees me again. Some of them show her rage, and her never talking back to me again. And it all could be possible, just because of me kissing her on impulse. I let my disappointment out, screaming loudly as I dare. Luckily, our houses are not that close, having some abandoned Victor houses between us. After about an hour of releasing my rage, I collapse on the bed, darkness closing in.
I wake up early the next day, wanting to swathe myself in baking and not to think of her and the incident. I wash up, dress in fresh clothes and walk to town. It's still early, because the sky is still dark and stars are still seen in the sky. I take my time to enjoy the night sky but then I remember the day Katniss last remembered everything. I shake the thoughts from my mind but a portion of unwanted memories unlocked themselves. They were the memories Katniss told me weren't real. Not real. I repeat to myself. I unlock the door to the bakery, still trying to ignore the unreal recollections. But even though, Katniss taught me to make myself not to believe them, I can't help but rethink their possibility. They seem so real. I take my coat off, put my apron on and submerge myself in the art of baking. It was quite busy in the morning, when people all over the district came and went, making me just think of one thing: work. But I wasn't so lucky that afternoon. No one came in, no one needed anything, and I did not have anything to do. So my mind races back again to remind me my most hated moment. I decide to close the bakery for a moment, to get some fresh air. I had no definite idea why, but my feet drags me back to my old home, above the old family bakery. This is the first time I came back here since Twelve was destroyed. It had been destroyed by the fire, though not in its entirety. The place is rebuilt, however not the original way it has been created the first time. I turn the knob of the front door, but pull away, realizing that it must be replaced. I sigh and sit down on the rough floor. I want to go back inside, probably to make me remember all the times I spent with my family. But I do remember, though not clearly and it just adds to my confusion. I stand up, and try to go to another place. But where would I go? My knowledge of places to go to in Twelve are only a few. I continue to follow my feet, which lead me to the meadow.
A few plants have sprung up in the meadow—a few because I believe the fire hit the meadow partly— mostly dandelions. The yellow weeds are scattered, not close to one another. Now, it's weird, but the plants also remind me of Katniss, because she once told me something about dandelions. About how she believes I am her dandelion. But I don't know if she knows that now. I realize how things keep getting more complicated. As I get closer to the meadow, I see the two of them sitting, and laughing at whatever one of them said. I look at them. Is this how Gale felt when he saw us in the arena? Until Katniss hated him. I wanted to approach them, but I realize I might do more harm than good doing what I want, so I turn around in hopes, that none of them will see me.
Well just my luck.
Gale calls out my name before I even take a few steps forward. If I won't turn around, they will think I'm rude. So I flash a smile at their direction when I turn around. Gale waves me over and I can only feel my heart pound as I walk towards them. I look at the girl beside him, who is noticeably trying to avoid my gaze. I swallow the saliva forming in my mouth, and I stand before them. "What?" I ask Gale Hawthorne. He stands up, probably because he didn't want to look up while somebody is talking to him. I guess he's used to be the one to look down to someone while conversing. I raise my eyebrows signing that I want to know why he called me, as if I didn't already know why. He wants me to apologize to Katniss again or something like that.
"Uh, I have to go somewhere. Can you keep Katniss company?" Katniss shoots a death glare at him. "No, I'll just go home." Even though the sentence is directed more at me more than Gale, she doesn't make eye contact with me. "He'll walk you home then." He says bluntly. He and I know that whatever he might say and do, Katniss won't budge. Gale's just being stubborn. "I can walk myself." Katniss says, irritancy evident in her voice. "She can walk herself." I mutter, though I immediately regret it. I turn around, not wanting to cause myself any more embarrassment. I walk as fast as my legs could carry me, to the bakery. It was about 4:00 in the afternoon and I still had to close the shop. After I've done the deed of closing my store for the day, I head for the Victor's Village. When I did arrive at my home, Haymitch was there, washed, hair combed properly and extremely sober, that it was scary.
"What are you doing here?" I asked him. He gave me a note from Mrs. Everdeen. It was an invitation for dinner, a dinner at Katniss' house for it was the last night of Mrs. Everdeen's stay. Great. I forgot. "That made me think too," Haymitch starts. "Why would they be so formal to give us invitations?" I know Haymitch was joking, but I couldn't make myself laugh, or even smile a little. Because this is serious. I forgot that Mrs. Everdeen was leaving, and I forgot to ask her how to do therapy. And I think she will just let Gale do it, because things between Katniss and I are not going great. But I know I have to suck it up. Because if I want to have Katniss back, I have to do everything for everything to back to normal. Everything.
AN: Sorry guys if this seemed like a filler, but don't worry, I'll try to update tomorrow. TRY. :/
