A/N – Another warped and twisted chapter from me. Muahaha. Welcome to my iCarly alternate universe where each day brings a new advance from Sam on a certain nerd and weird thoughts from said nerd. XD Read and review, guys. Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN. D:
After that first iCarly webcast and my second (third?) kiss with Sam, we needed to come up with more ideas for what to do in the next show. We had to have one planned and set for next Tuesday. And while Sam was reluctant—and too lazy—to do anything to help, Carly and I came up with a list of things, though very short:
1. Introduce Spencer and some of his sculptures
2. Blindfold Spencer and make him eat gross mixes of food
3. Have Sam beat a watermelon with a baseball bat
Yeah, that was it…pathetic but maybe if Sam would quit being Sam, this would go better but of course, I would never get that wish. Sam would always be tough, meat-loving, crazy, and lazy Sam Puckett. I had groaned at her and rolled my eyes when she told us all our ideas were stupid.
I was still contemplating things to do Monday morning come Ms. Briggs class—yeah we didn't exactly leave ourselves a lot of time to do this. Maybe this week we could skip but when I suggested it to Carly, she got upset and I dropped it. She said we had loyal fans now and we'd have to keep our promises. I didn't mention how we made no promises and that we couldn't have loyal fans yet but she fluttered her eyelashes at me and I agreed—I am a weak, weak man.
I walked into class and said hello to Carly who smiled at me. As I said, "Hey, Sam." The blond just looked at me, took another spoonful of her cereal and said, "I'm eating." I didn't even get a hello. I got kisses, punches and wink but a simple hello was merely out of the question. I rolled my eyes.
Just then Briggs came in and said something about smelling bacon. I turned around to look at Sam who was smirking and holding a piece of turkey bacon in her hand. I tried not to smile at her. Briggs gave both girls an evil look as Carly tried to explain it was turkey bacon and then Ms. Briggs yelled at them to put it away.
I heard the crashing sound of a plastic plate, bowl and cup falling. There was no crash when the dishes hit the floor, no, instead they were caught by my backpack. Oh joyous for me—now my bag would smell like bacon and sour milk. I turned and rolled my eyes at Sam. "In my backpack?" Sam just glared at me.
I turned my attention to the front of the class as Ms. Briggs introduced a tall man in a kilt. I hadn't heard the rest of her introduction but I caught something about Scotland and dancing. I dreaded the worst. Then the man started dancing. Then I heard a distinct "BOOOO!" from behind me. Everyone joined in, even me. This guy, while probably good at what he did, was not what I wanted to seeing or hearing right now…or ever for that matter.
Ms. Briggs didn't hesitate to give Sam detention when she pinpointed that Sam had started the booing. As the man started dancing again, I turned to Sam and hissed, "Can't you keep out of trouble for five minutes?" She looked at me incredulously as if I said something rude or shocking. It was no secret or surprise that she got in trouble all the time.
"Well, I only do it because I want attention." She crooned softly before she grabbed the turkey bacon out of my backpack and gave a piece to Carly. At least they had something to keep their mind off the god-awful performance. My mind though was stuck on Sam's words. Was she for once just being brutally honest or was she messing with me again—I decided on the latter.
Overall it was a long day with Ms. Briggs assigning a huge essay on Scotland dances and Mr. Howard assigning way too much homework. It was as if the two collaborated and built their assignments around one another's to make sure we got the most homework possible. Now Freddie Benson is not daunted by any amount of homework but with iCarly now, it just was unwanted. I blame Sam for my change in character. And I was hardly surprised when I was glad that the school day was over. Once again I blamed Sam.
I went straight home after school, utterly drained but looking forward to seem Carly...and unfortunately Sam. Well, actually I had to make a detour first. I had to stop at K-mart and get a new backpack—thanks to that blond demon, my entire backpack and most of my assignments, tests and my calculator were ruined. At least my cell phone had been in my pocket.
As I walked in the apartment after the girls and their story about Sam's smelly mom, I told Sam how I had to buy a new backpack. She just gave me an enduring look and simply stated, "You're just lucky I didn't dumped it down your pants." But she finished her comment with a wink and turned back to Carly.
"That was terrible," Carly commented, referring to the Scottish dancing that Ms. Briggs subjected us to. That was one thing we could all agree on. "Why do we even have to put up with stuff like that?" She grumbled a moment under her breath before, "Anyone want some iced tea?"
"Sure," Sam and I said in unison and glared at one another. We had to stop doing that. Carly asked Sam to get some glasses while she got the tea. Sam also grabbed some straws but only two: one for her, and one for Carly. The list was only growing. Now she would give me kisses, punches, wink but no hello's and no straw. I just frowned at her.
"I can't believe Ms. Briggs made us watch that." Sam grumbled.
"Yeah, how is that art." I said, but then again I remembered Spencer's art. While there was no doubt in my mind that it was art, many people would disagree—art was clearly subjective but that didn't mean that Ms. Briggs had to force her crappy art on us, her poor helpless students. "I can't stand her."
"Well, at least you don't have to sit with her in detention." Sam chided. Oh Sam. At that same moment Carly, politely, passed Sam her tea with a lemon slice on the side. "See that," Sam marveled. "Carly puts a lemon slice in her tea."
"I'm not surprised. Carly's classy." I replied, reaching over for my own glass, also sporting a lemon slice, which was quickly gone and stuck on Sam's glass with her other slice. Carly didn't seem to, or chose to notice Sam's theft. Yet, that only reinforced my point. Carly was too nice to point out to Sam to behave and Sam was too rude to behave—it was as simple and as aggravating as that.
"And I'm not?" Sam asked skeptically. What did she want me to say? Yes? Sam was just about as classy as gum stuck to the bottom of a park bench.
"This coming from the girl who not only dumped her breakfast in my backpack but also cleans her ears with her cell phone antenna." I scoffed and stifled a laugh. Sam shot me a dark look but that launched me into a laughing attack.
She shut me up quickly though, she just smiled and said, and "It wasn't my cell phone, it was yours." Sam pulled something from her pocket and scooted my phone across the table. I grimaced. Ears, belly buttons and a few other places were the dirtiest places on the body and now my phone had earwax on it. I grumbled and started wiping at it, for once, hoping I had my mom's disinfecting wipes.
"Ew, Sam." Carly smirked and Sam smiled at Carly. We all fell into silence as we sipped our tea slowly. "Hey, guys, what if we show cool dance clips on iCarly. If you hurry Freddie, you can send out a post about it and people can send in their own zany, awesome dance moves. Our favorites can be showed on the show tomorrow night." Carly smiled and I smiled back. This was the second time in a row where she came up with a great idea: first the web show and now this. That brunette beauty was on a roll.
"That sounds cool," I replied and moved to the computer so I could send out the announcement. We had received so many views I had bought the URL. We now owned and now we had traffic daily but mostly from kids we knew but with this, I had a feeling we would pull in some new viewers.
"You know what doesn't sound cool?" Sam said suddenly, blowing bubbles in her tea. It was kind of adorable. Sometimes she was just like a little kid—one that could really pack a wallop.
"What?" I said as I finished the post. I hit 'enter' and it was done. Soon we'd have videos flooding in. And even if we got one or two, at least we'd have something to show.
"You." Sam replied subtly. It took a moment to sink and I groaned. How had I fallen for that one? It was so obvious.
"Sam, be nice." Carly said quietly, looking between the two of us wearily.
"I'll be nice, Carls, but I can't promise I won't bite." As she said those words my fingers instinctively clutched my neck. I couldn't imagine her teeth there—then the kiss entered my mind and I could. I quickly cleared my thoughts. Was Sam really turning me on for a second there? I frowned and look at the brunette, remember her sweet voice and her kindness.
Then Sam cut into my daydream. "Guys, we already have 200 video submissions for the dance…thingy." Sam said with clear surprise in her voice. I didn't know you could surprise a Puckett. "And it's going up still."
THREE THOUSAND SUBMISSIONS! It had been four hours and the submissions kept coming. I guess people just can't wait to display their talent (or non-talent) to the world. Sam kept reading off the rising numbers every ten minutes or so. Finally Carly asked the question, "What are we going to do?"
"I guess we'll just watch them all and decided as a group which ones stay and which ones go." I answered and I could see in the other two's faces that this wasn't how we expected to spend out night. "If we watch them all briefly and make out decisions quick we should be able to cut through a good majority tonight and if we don't get to them all…" Carly looked sad at my next words. "Well, too bad then."
"That's right, Fredbag. Screw all those other nubs! Mama only wants to see the best." Sam said loudly, punching me in the arm in the midst of her excitement, though I wasn't exactly sure of her excitement's source.
"Ready to watch some videos guys?" I announced loudly, trying to sound cheerful. Sam and Carly only groaned because that is exactly what we did for six hours straight.
Spencer stopped by at one point to offer us food but we waved him away, even Sam said no. Our eyes were glued to the computer screen, watching person after person does flips or breakdance or even river dance. Many we just clicked off after the first few seconds and a few more we watched all the way through. I soon felt my eyes burn from the light from the screen in the dark of the living room.
I looked to my left where Sam sat but she wasn't able to look back…she was asleep. Her head rested against my shoulder and her left hand was resting on my thigh. On her other side was Carly whose head rested on Sam. It was all rather sweet and I felt no guilt as I fell asleep myself.
When I awoke again I was no longer at Carly's apartment but I was at Ridgeway. This jerk was all over Carly and she kept pushing him away but the jerk wasn't taking no for an answer. I felt chivalrous as I stepped in between him and Carly. I felt the brunette grip my arm as I stood up to the bully. Next thing I knew I was dancing.
I can't really explain it. One moment I was in control of the moment and the next one I was having some dance-off with this jerk. I mean, I was winning as I was a much better dancer (of course) but I wasn't sure how one thing led to another. And then the whole time Carly stood off to the side but suddenly she jumped into the dance and I spun her around. She was so small and petite in my hands and I wanted to kiss her and as I leaned in, she became heavier. My eyes shot open
Then I wasn't holding Carly anymore. As I lowered the girl to the ground and she fell in step with me, it was Sam Puckett who was snapping her fingers along with me at the jerk. I spun in place, my feet just carrying me any which way. When I looked back, Carly was smiling at me again, and I smiled back.
"Catch me." She shouted and I knew we were reaching the finale of our little number so I stood and steeled myself for Carly's weight and so it came as a huge surprise when I was catching Sam. I caught her though, nearly flawlessly. That was the moment that my brain registered that this was a dream. Normally I would have fallen over and been crushed under the Puckett.
"Looks like I win." I said confidently though the words weren't my own. My voice was my own but someone else was talking. "Now scram." I spun to where Carly stood again, small and smiley.
I grabbed her up in a huge hug and pressed my lips to hers. I deepened the kiss, running my fingers through her hair but suddenly I felt her hair give. And I was holding her hair which appeared to be nothing more than a wig. I looked down and found Sam looking up at me. I stared at her with confused horror but something washed over me, and I bent my head to hers and our lips met for the fourth time…but this didn't count. It was only a dream.
But as I sat up with a shock and look at Sam's sleeping form, I thought: It was just a dream, right? Well, of course, it was but were those feelings more than the fantasies of a teenage boy?
A/N – Before you review, remember that this follows the iCarly plotlines but doesn't stick to it with complete conformity. I know parts are off but I made it that way purposely. Plus, I did add in some actual quotes from the show. :P So now, please go and review!
