Remember how I said that I would post this chapter soon? I lied. And remember how I said that this chapter would also take place about a week after Lost and Stupid? Lied about that too. Well, actually, it was going to be like that but it ended up being horrible so I'm posting what would have been chapter 5. Enjoy.
THIS IS THE LONGEST CHAPTER I HAVE EVER MADE.
"Hey, Peach? Do we have any brownies left?" Ness asked, walking in the kitchen.
"Hm, I don't think so. But I'll make you some if you'd like." Peach said.
"Yes, yes, yes!" Ness answered joyfully.
"Alright, just left me find the ingredients. Oh! We're out of eggs!" Peach said looking in the fridge.
"And milk?!" Ness exclaimed, looking in the fridge as well.
"Hey, speaking of things we're out of, there's no cereal left." Link said as he strolled into the kitchen. He put his bowl, which Ness presumed once had the last bit of cereal in it, in the sink. Ness desperately started looking for some kind of chocolate, as he needed his daily chocolate.
"No cookies, no hot cocoa, heck not even that gross chocolate powder! THERE IS NO CHOCOLATE WHATSOEVER IN THIS MANSION!" Ness yelled as if he was cursing the gods.
"WHAT?!" Lucario yelled as he rushed in.
"No chocolate?! I NEED THAT SHIT!" he exclaimed.
"What is wrong with you people and the yelling?" Mario said and entered the room. He looked like he had just gotten up, which he did.
"It appears as if we're out of many things." Peach said.
"Ah, okay." Mario said sleepily. He went to pour him some coffee but nothing came out of the coffee maker. Mario stared at his empty mug.
"Something wrong dear?" Peach asked.
"We're out of coffee."
Marth was just peacefully reading his book, taking another sip of the very last coffee in the whole mansion. Marth was the only one who had no idea about the consequences of getting the last cup of coffee before Mario got any, as it had never happened to him before. But he would soon learn what happens when one does so. Marth turned a page in his book just as two giant fireballs bursted through the library doors. That was unmistakably Mario's final smash. Marth exclaimed a curse and his book went flying out of his hands.
"MARTH!" Mario yelled and stomped over to the prince. He grabbed Marth by his shirt collar and put a flaming hand next to his face threateningly.
"Is it true you got the last cup of coffee?" he asked, giving Marth a death glare. Marth meekly nodded, scared out of his mind. Oh, if only his Rayquaza was here and not in its pokeball in his room.
"Do you know what happens when somebody gets the last cup of coffee instead of me?" Mario snarled. Marth was thinking something along the lines of 'kill them and find a replacement'. Marth shook his head.
"Hm… So that's why." Mario said and let go of Marth who took a deep breath and stood up.
"Alright Marth, I've said this so many times before but it's obvious that many people forgot the rule especially when they haven't had their coffee yet." Mario said calmly, putting his hands behind his back. Marth was wondering why Mario didn't kill him, as that seemed what the plumber was planning to do.
"Rule number 23: Always let Mario have the last cup of coffee if you want to live*." Mario said. Okay, now Marth knew he was going to die.
"But, since so many people forget this rule because it mainly only applies when they haven't had any coffee yet, I don't kill them." Marth sighed.
"Instead, I make them do something much worse." Marth cringed.
What could be worse than being killed?
Shopping.
Shopping for everything in the mansion was worse than being killed.
Mario had a policy for that rule, if someone had never broken it before, then they can chose 4 other smashers to suffer with them. But in this case, Mario had chosen who would go with Marth. Mario thought he was doing a good thing, sending Marth out with his 'friends'. Or who Mario thought were the prince's friends. Now Marth was stuck with Ike, Link, and Falco.
Only Falco was Marth's actual 'friend', as the two both understood what it was like to have idiots follow you around. For Marth, that was Link, Ike, Pit, and rarely Roy, for Falco, that was Fox and Wolf. Ike and Link had groaned in agony when Mario told them they had to go get groceries. Nobody at the mansion liked getting the groceries. Link had even tried hiding under the couch. Until Marth called him a wuss and the hylian got ticked and chased Marth outside. That was when Ike grabbed him and threw him in Falco's landmaster, which they were riding to Walmart in.
"You know what the number one thing I hate about shopping is? Parking. You always have to park 10 miles from the store, and then haul 10 million groceries back. Well not this time, baby. I'm running over any cars that are in the best parking spot. I don't care if someone sues me, I'll shot 'em." Falco said as he approached the store. He did exactly what he said he would do; he ran over two cars that were in the best parking place.
"Ah, there we go. Get your asses out of my landmaster." Falco said.
"He's in a crappy mood today." Link thought to himself.
"Let's get this over with." Falco said as he jumped out.
"Yes, let's hurry and get this over with." Marth said, looking at the horribly long list he had in his hand. They entered the Walmart but it was the Sam's club kind of Walmart. Which meant it was as big as a mall and as hard to navigate as a maze set on hard.
"Whoa, cool." Link said.
"It's going to be hard as crap getting around this place." Falco said.
"If we want to get this done in under week, we'll have to split up." Marth said, tearing the list into four long pieces. He gave one to each of them.
"Right. Looks like I'm going to the weapons department." Falco said. He jumped on a shopping cart like a badass and speed down the lane. Right into a bunch of stacked apples.
"FAIL!" Link yelled.
"Apples, check." Ike said, checking it off his list. Marth sighed.
"Okay, hopefully we'll get this done in 3 days. I'm off to the frozen aisle." He said and left.
"Looks like I got fruits, vegetables, and meat." Ike said. Link looked at his list.
"Of course I get the list with the hairbrushes, toothbrushes, and… pet food? Meh, pokemon stuff maybe." Link said and headed off.
Needless to say, Falco had difficulty buying weapons without looking like an alien trying to take over the planet. Why? Because he's a freaking anthro bird, that's why. The cashier was extremely freaked out when Falco came up to him with fire cracker launchers, gun, laser guns, super scopes, bazookas, and lots of other crap.
"Uh, uh, uh…" Was all that came out of the cashier's mouth. Falco sighed and flashed a golden credit card that every Walmart employee knew.
"Oh. You're one of those smashers." He said.
"Yes, the name's Falco." Falco said. After that the employee happily checked out all of the weapons and scanned the credit card.
"There you go, have a nice day."
"You may as well say days, as this shopping is going to take me and my comrades awhile. It took me five hours to find all this crap." Falco said. He took out a small leather pouch and put all the weapons in it.
"Magic pouch, don't ask*." Falco said and left.
Meanwhile, Marth was having difficulty finding some flavor of Mountain Dew called 'Supernova'. He had no idea who it was for, but he needed to find it. He looked through the 4 aisles that contained soda, and finally found it.
"That was a little hard. At least it only took me 15 minutes to find it." Marth said.
He picked up the soda bottle just in time to hear, "Oh. My. God." Once Marth heard that he instantly thought of that lady that Chandler from Friends once dated. He turned and saw a busty girl with long blonde hair.
"If it isn't Marth." She said.
"Oh crap. A fangirl." Marth thought to himself.
"Need something?" Marth asked.
"Uh, you don't remember me? It's Tiffany, the girl you meet at Hot Topic once?" She said.
"Uh… Oh! Hi Tiffany. Long time no see." Marth said.
"Yeah. How ya been?" she asked.
"I've, been pretty good, I guess."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Things have been strange lately for me."
"Oh, okay. Well, I've gotta go. See ya later Marth!" Marth smiled and waved as she left.
"And maybe call me this time!"
Marth frowned. He had completely forgotten that he had her number. After that he grabbed the soda and put it in the shopping cart, which by now was getting pretty heavy.
"I should go check out and then finish the list." Marth said to himself and headed for checkout.*
Ike was having a fairly easy time with his list. Considering everything on it was in the same area. He was actually almost done with it, and had checked out about 3 times already. All that was left were a few strangely named berries.
"Pecha berries, Cherri berries, Oran berries, Chesto berries?! What the heck are any of these?!" Ike exclaimed, looking at the names of several berries he didn't even know.
"May I help you sir?" An employee said, walking over to Ike.
"Yeah, do you know about any of these berries?" Ike asked, showing the guy the list.
"Uh… No…" the guy said.
"Well thanks anyway." Ike said rudely. He wondered around the store, looking for the berries. After a while Ike's mind wandered off and he ran into somebody.
"Ow! Uh, sorry." Ike said, but realized it was Marth.
"Ike? You done shopping already?" Marth said.
"I might as well be, there are berries on this list I've never heard of!" Ike exclaimed. Marth looked at Ike's list.
"Those are sold at the Pokemart about a mile from here. If that's all you have left on your list, you might as well start walking now." Marth said.
"What?! I'm not walking a mile just to get some weird berries!"
"Red, Pikachu, Lucario, and Jiggilypuff will all be pissed if you don't."
"They're the ones that need these?"
"Yep. If you don't want 5 pissed pokemon and a trainer to beat the crap out of you, I suggest you start walking." Marth said and left.
"Stupid pokemon." Ike mumbled and walked out the front door. He noticed that Falco's landmaster top was open a bit and wondered if Falco left his keys inside. Ike hopped in and smiled when he saw they were. He started the landmaster up and wondered how to work it. He pressed a button and a laser fired out of the cannon, blowing up a nearby plant shop.
"Oops. Ah, here's the gas!" Ike quickly hightailed it out of the parking lot, almost running over some people in the process.
"Yes, this is much faster than walking." But some Ike was met by lunch time traffic and groaned. Looks like he would be there for a while.
While he waited, his eyes strayed to the button he pressed earlier.
Link groaned as he hauled another bag of dog food into his magic pouch. After he crossed that of his list, he looked at the most likely over 100 items that were left.
"Why do we even need dog food? Nobody at the mansion owns a dog!" Link exclaimed.
So far he had only gotten things from the pet aisles, which was weird considering the mansion had no pets. He figured it was for the pokemon, but considering all the pet crap he had gotten, the pokemon were either spoiled, or someone really did have a pet. A lot of pets for that matter. He crossed off some more things on his list as he put the items in his pouch. He sighed in relief when he saw that he was done with all the pet things. Now he had to get toothbrushes and toothpaste. He groaned in agony at his misery.
Poor Link. Having to go shopping for once in his life.
"Hey! I heard that!" Link exclaimed.
Shut up! You know I hate it when the fourth wall is broken! And so Link forgot that ever happened.
"What ever happened?" Link asked.
FOR THE LOVE OF ARCEUS LINK. JUST SHUT UP AND LOOK AT THE DAMN RODENT THAT HAS BEEN STARING AT YOU THIS WHOLE TIME.
Link looked to his left and saw the cute little mice, running around on their wheels. But one in particular caught Link's attention. It was a small tiny hedgehog, looking right at Link. 'She', Link supposed, had pinkish quills that were more tan than pink. She had fluffy little paws that were pressed against the glass as she stared at Link. Her eyes were a ruby color, which was somewhat strange for a hedgehog, and she had a little white spot on her forehead.
"May I help you sir?" A woman asked, walking over to Link.
"I'll take this one please." Link said, pointing to the hedgehog.
After about five hours later, Falco finally got done with his list. He was the one who had to get all the brawl items, as well as having to restock Snake's weapons. Why a Sam's club sold grenades was beyond him. He sighed, stretching his aching arms. He decided that he might as well go find someone else and see if they were done. He doubted it, considering their lists had items that were scattered all over the store. Falco was lucky his list only contained weapons and other various brawl items, considering they were all in the same section of the store.
"What did Marth say he was going to get? Soda? I'll check there." Falco mumbled to himself. He started to walk around, taking random turns as he really didn't care at the moment. But after about 20 minutes, he found himself back at the weapons department.
"I guess I need to take this seriously." Falco said. He put his arms around the back of his head and just took one straight path the whole time. But he still wound up at the same place as before.
"What the heck? I went perfectly straight!" Falco decided that he would just follow the store's wall, and maybe he'd end up somewhere that wasn't the weapons department. He walked beside the wall and eventually reached the corner of the store.
"Finally I'm getting somewhere." But when he turned around, he found himself still in the weapons department.
"GOT-FREAKING-DARNIT!"
While Falco struggled for 3 hours trying to find the exit, Marth finally got his list done.
"Huh, that didn't take as long as I thought it would." He sighed to himself, just being glad he was done. He sat on a bench, his legs and arms hurt, both from walking about 10 miles and pushing a 100-pound shopping cart. But now, he was done. And as soon as the others were done, he could go home and read his book in peace. Marth leaned against the bench and relaxed.
But you guys know I never let him relax for long.
"Squee!" Marth jolted upright. He knew that sound. Looking to his right he saw 5 or 6 girls looking at him.
"Oh dear god, no." He thought and got ready to run.
"IT'S MARTH!" They all squealed, and ran at the prince.
"FANGIRLS!" Marth cried and ran for him life. He hated, hated, fangirls. They would always glomp him, take his stuff, pull his hair, and, violate him. He summarized fangirls as fast, crazy, ding-bats.
As Marth ran for his life, Red watched from afar. He laughed as he watched Marth run for his life. He closed his phone, which he used in the first place to notify the girls of Marth's location, and put it in his pocket.
"Excellent work, Red. Excellent work." He said to himself.*
"GAAH! I JUST WANT TO LEAVE!" Falco exclaimed as he found himself, yet again, at the weapons department. He fell on his knees and cursed the store.
"WHY? WHY ME? PLEASE JUST LET ME LEAVE!" he cried.
"FALCO! HELP ME!" Falco turned around and was glad to see a familiar face. But his face turned to horror when he saw the girls chasing Marth.
"Oh shi-" Falco said and started running.
Marth caught up to him and said, "DO SOMETHING!"
"Like what?!"
"Shoot them!"
"No!"
"We'll die if you don't!"
"I'm not shooting girls!"
"Please!"
"Marth, you've lost your mind!"
"LOOK. LOOK AT THEM. THEY ARE BLOODTHRISTY KILLING MACHINES." Falco slapped Marth but kept running.
"You're right. I may have lost it." Marth said, still running. Once Falco saw that they were running through the clothing department, he nearly cried from joy.
"HALLELUJAH!" he cried.
"Falco, they are still chasing us!" Marth said.
"Don't worry, I have a plan." Falco started heading for the part of the clothes with all the girls t-shirts.
"Wait for it…" Falco said as he kept running.
"OMG! Look at that cute top!" one of the girls said.
"That would look great on me!" another one said. Soon, all the girls stopped and were looking at all the clothes.
"Works every time." Falco said, now hiding behind a shelf. He turned and saw Marth looking at some of the clothes.
"Would this look good on me?" he asked showing Falco a shirt with an Eevee on it.
"Come on, sissy. We need to run before they remember you're still here." Falco said and dragged Marth away.
"But Eevee!" Marth said after dropping the shirt.
"Let's find Link." Falco said, after having to drag Marth away from the clothing section.
"I believe he's still at the pet aisle." Marth said. They started walking that way but soon ran into Link near the hairbrushes.
"Hey Link- what is that." Falco said, looking at the small hedgehog on Link's shoulder. It had a tiny bow on its ear and was wearing a green collar with fake diamonds on it.
"Hey guys! I'd like you to meet, Cherrio." Link said, holding Cherrio in his hands.
"Cherrio? Really?" Falco questioned.
"Yep. Cherrio the hedgehog." Link said.
"Link. You got a pet hedgehog. A HEDGE-HOG." Marth exclaimed.
"Yeah. What's so bad about that?"
"What is Sonic going to think? He's a hedgehog too!" Marth exclaimed.
"Sonic is a hedgehog?" Link asked. Falco and Marth facepalmed.
"Yes. And you can't even keep it! Mario doesn't allow pets!" Falco exclaimed.
"What? I'm not giving up Cherrio! She's too cute!" Link said, holding the hedgehog close.
"And they call me girly." Marth mumbled to himself.
"Link, you're going to have to give her back. Mario isn't going to allow this and who knows what Sonic will do!?" Falco said.
"Just let him keep the hedgehog." Marth said.
"But-"
"Just, let him. He's not going to listen to reason."
Falco sighed.
"Are you done with your list, at least?" Marth asked.
"Yep! I'm just looking for a brush for Cherrio!" Link said, showing them a small brush.
"Link, those bristles are too thick. They'd hurt Cherrio." Marth stated.
"Oh, well…"
"Look just let me find a brush for her." Marth said. Falco facepalmed and groaned as Marth started looking through the brushes.
"Here, soft, long bristles should be good enough." Marth said, giving Link a brush.
"Hey thanks Marth!" Link said.
"Did you even get her a cage?"
"Um, no. I was planning to just carry her around with me."
"Link, hedgehogs are nocturnal. You can't just keep her awake during the day. You need to get a cage to put her in for the daytime. Come on; let's go to the pet aisle."
"Wha-? But Link's not even going to be able to keep that hedgehog!" Falco said. But Marth and Link ignored him as they went to the pet aisle.
"Ugh, I swear, these people…"
After shopping for lots of pet junk and being forced to listen to Marth's lectures on hedgehog care, they were finally checking out for the last time.
"Marth?" Link asked.
"Yes?" Marth said as he gave the cashier a golden credit card.
"How do you know so much about hedgehogs?"
"I was going to get one when I was a kid so I researched everything about hedgehogs. But, I never got my hedgehog." Marth replied.
"Oh. So that's why. And Marth?"
"Yes, Link?"
"Can I hold Cherrio now?" Marth looked at the hedgehog, still sleeping in the small blanket in his hand.
"Oh, uh, sorry. Here, just be careful not to wake her." Marth said, giving Link the hedgehog.
"Oh my stars. Marth and Link are actually being nice to each other!" Falco thought. It really was a rare sight, considering how the two had an undying hate for the other.
"Have a nice day!" The cashier said. Marth nodded and put the pet stuff in Link's pouch. As they left the store, Falco remembered something.
"Where's Ike?" He asked as they left the store. His question was answered when they saw the burning wreckage that was once the parking lot, and the town. A blast of energy blew up a nearby store.
"AHAHAHA! FEAR ME, MORTALS! I AM YOUR GOD!"
Marth, Link, and Falco looked at the landmaster that was hovering above the parking lot.
"BURN! BURN! BOW DOWN TO YOUR NEW LEADER!" Ike's voice was blaring out of it, like a microphone was on.
"WHAT THE FREAKING HELL, IKE!?" Falco exclaimed. The landmaster turned towards them.
"Uh… I can explain." Ike said.
"GET. YOUR. ASS. DOWN. HERE." Falco said. Marth and Link stepped back at his rage. The landmaster landed in front of them, and Ike stepped out.
"Look, I can explain-"
Falco grabbed the mercenary's neck and proceeded to beat the living daylights out of him.
"Oh! That had to hurt!" Marth said, cringing. Link was shielding Cherrio's eyes. Once that was done, Ike was nothing but roadkill.
"There, now that that's done, let's all go home, shall we?" Falco said and jumped in his landmaster. Link followed as Marth had to drag Ike up in there too. They drove home, and Marth sighed as he looked at the sunset. Partially because it was pretty, and partially because the whole damn day was over.
"Ah, peace at last." He said.
*poot*
"IKE!"
I like that last part. Ah, me and my immature jokes.
1*) In case you didn't know, which you probably didn't, Mario's rule number 23 was inspired by Gibbs' rule number 23: Don't mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live. Ah, I love NCIS.
2*) Ever wonder how many video game characters are able to put an AXE in their pocket? Boom, magic pouch. It's a little something someone got from somewhere and it can hold unlimited items. Every one of the Smashers have one, the pouch is very convinent. BLEH, DON'T QUESTION MY LOGIC.
3*) HOORAY FOR UNNECESSARY PARAGRAPHS. YAY.
4*) Red, that is evil and just down-right mean. You jerk.
As for the hedgehog, well she really exists. Cherrio the hedgehog is my class pet. She really is cute. Hope you guys liked this chapter, as I have run out of ideas. For real this time. I need something but no body is willing to help me... Ah, my girlfriend always has ideas. I'll go ask her.
BUT PLEASE. REVIEW AND VOTE ON POLL.
