Chapter four! Please review because that's what really keeps me going on this story.

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Chuck yelled it so loud he was sure everyone in the hallway had heard. Even people five doors down from his room had probably heard him.

Nate was appalled by the words that came out of Chuck's mouth. Chuck never yelled at him. Nate couldn't remember the last time Chuck had been mad at him. But he could see he was certainly pissed about something so Nate left the room quickly, without another word.

Chuck climbed back into the bed. He felt exposed standing there in the hospital gown.

He turned his head towards Blair. He was expression-less. But he saw the confused look on her face.

She took a step towards him, "Chuck."

"You too, bitch." He snapped at her.

Her face turned from confused to hurt. But she stood where she was, not moving.

"No. I'm not leaving. Not until you explain this to me." She told him stubbornly.

"I don't have to explain anything to you!" He wanted her to leave. She was hurting him by being here. He just wanted to forget her.

"Don't you know how worried I was!?" Fresh tears started dripping from her eyes.

Chuck didn't like seeing her cry. It pained him inside, but he couldn't show any sign of caring if he wanted her to leave and never come back.

"Frankly, I don't care how worried you were. Now leave." He turned away from her so he didn't have to see her beautifully sad face.

"No, Chuck. You can say anything you want to me, but I'm not leaving." She came to the side of his bed and took his hand and held it in both of hers.

He simply couldn't pull his hand away. He didn't want to face her, but he turned back in her direction so she would be able to tell that he was serious.

"You've basically said that before, but you didn't stick around for long did you?"

"What do you mean?" She held onto his hand tighter and drew it closer to her body so she was holding it against her stomach.

It was hard being this close to Blair and not reach up to kiss her. But he had to remain in control of himself.

"I mean that you told me you would stand by me through anything, no matter how bad it was. Remember that?" His voice was getting louder, "It was also when you said you loved me. But you couldn't keep your promise to stick by me, because not that much later you told me you were done! You couldn't stand by me any longer!"

Chuck remembered how wounded he had been when he went to apologize to her, but she threw his apology right back in his face. Pretty much literally since she did throw the flowers he had brought her back at him.

"I'm sorry. I was just so hurt. Chuck please…" He watched tears run down her face and wanted to wipe them away but he was to mad to just forgive her.

"But now you're back with Nate, so you don't really need me." He said it so nonchalantly that it really did sound like he couldn't care less about the fact.

A look of realization spread across Blair's face as she finally understood why he was so mad. "Chuck, please let me explain." She said desperately.

"You're nothing but a lying whore. That needs no explaining." He yanked his hand out of her grasp.

She gulped and her lips slowly parted like she wanted to say something else but she couldn't get the words to come out. The tears stopped rolling down her face but she brushed her wet cheeks to try to dry them.

He turned away from her again. She stood there silently next to the bed for a few moments. Hurt and not knowing what to do.

She slowly put her back to him and walked out of the room.

He twisted his head in her direction and watched her leave.

He hoped that his heart rate would slow down, but it didn't. He threw his head violently against the pillow.

She disgusted him right now. But mostly, Chuck was disgusted with himself.

How can I still feel like this about her after she's hurt me so much? Chuck asked himself.

He looked over to the table with the flowers vases on them. For the first time he saw who they were from.

One from Lily, Serena, and Eric of course.

But there was also one from Blair and one from Nate.

He picked up the one from Nate and without reading what the note said, threw it at the wall with the clock. It shattered into a million pieces instantly. The water splashed onto the floor and the flowers gently fell on top of it.

He proceeded to pick up the flowers from Blair. Peonies.

What a bitch. He thought and shook his head. Giving him the same flowers he had given her? Did she think that was some grand romantic gesture?

He twisted the vase in his hands so he could read the note.

Chuck-

Please get well soon.

Love,

Blair

Wow. That was one hell of a note. Really heart felt.

Without a moments notice Chuck threw that vase at the wall too.

Glass shattered. Water splashed. Flowers fell.

Now there was a mess for the less than capable nurses to clean up.

He tried to unclench his fists and calm down. He was breathy very heavily, trying to catch his breath. He threw his hands up to his face, like he was trying to rub off the anger.

Only a few seconds had passed since he crushed the vases on the wall and some nurses rushed in to see what had happened.

"Mr. Bass, are you alright?!" the tall brunette one asked him. I really need to learn their names, Chuck thought.

"Yeah I'm fine. See?" He held up his wrists," I didn't try to kill myself." He said almost sarcastically.

Some of the nurses left when they saw he was okay, but the brown-haired one stayed to clean up the broken vases while the happy blonde came over to talk to him.

"I really think you need to get control of yourself, Mr. Bass." She said very seriously, "You really disturbed some of the other patients with your out-burst when you were with your friends. Now this?"

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again." Chuck reassured her, but he was having a hard time convincing even himself so he wasn't sure if she would believe him or not.

"Okay then. Now, are you up to seeing your family?"

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever." he knew it was inevitable. He had to talk to Serena and Eric sometime.

"Alrighty, I'll go get them." The pony-tailed blonde scurried from the room.

The other nurse continued to clean up the glass. He hoped she would hurry so she wouldn't hear the conversation they were all about to have.

"I'll have someone come in and mop up the water later, okay?" She barely made eye contact with him.

He found it kind of funny that she wouldn't look at him. Maybe he was scaring off all the nurses. He chuckled to himself and nodded at her.

She left the room just as Serena, Eric, and Lily came in. Eric and Serena quickly strode over to the sides of his bed. Serena on the left. Eric on the right. They buried him in a group hug.

Chuck found it extremely hard to keep tears from falling out of his eyes.

He had definitely under estimated how much they cared about him.

"Okay okay. What's with all the family love and stuff?" He sort of gently nudged them both off of him so he could breath again.

They both pulled up chairs next to the hospital bed so they could remain close to him.

They tag teamed him with the regular questions. What happened? How are you? Do you need anything?

And he answered the same way he did before. I don't know what happened. I'm fine, really. No.

They tried to pry some answers from him by asking what had happened the day he cut himself. He tried to vaguely answer them by just saying it was any other day, "I went to school. Came home. The end." He really didn't want to talk about it anymore, but he did have one question for them.

"Hey, who found me anyways?" Chuck looked at all three of them when he asked.

"I did." Eric answered weakly then stared down at the floor. He obviously didn't want to go into detail about it.

"Oh. Okay." He just nodded.

After a few minutes of silence Chuck had to say something, "You know I'm really starving. Do they have anything good to eat around here?"

"Something to eat? Yes. Good? No." Eric answered him.

"Oh shut up. We'll go get you something." Serena smiled at him and grabbed Eric's arm. Lily took Eric's seat next to Chuck's bed and held his hand again. He smiled at her.

Serena and Eric left the room swiftly, but Eric stopped his sister once they were outside of the room.

"Serena, wait." He held her arm.

"What? What's wrong?" She looked at him confused.

"Nothing. I just think I should show this to you." He pulled a folded piece of paper from his pant pocket and handed it to her.

"What is this?"

"I found that on Chuck's bed after the paramedics took him away."

Serena studied the crumpled paper. It had what she guessed were Eric's finger prints covered in Chuck's blood all over it. She opened it.

It read…

Blair-

I love you.

Always have.

I'm sorry I never told you. It's one of my biggest regrets.

But I've realized I can't have you.

And I can't take it anymore.

-Chuck

Serena folded it up and looked at Eric, "Why didn't you show this to me sooner? Did you show it to mom?"

"No I didn't. I don't know why I didn't show you guys. But I thought we should give to Blair."

"What? Why would we give it to Blair?" Serena didn't give the note back to Eric, instead she put it in her own pocket.

"Well, it is to her you know?!"

"Did you not hear that fight between the two of them earlier?! Chuck wouldn't want us to give this to her now. These were his dying thoughts. But he's alive so it doesn't really matter anymore."

"Yes it does matter! Blair deserves to know what he had to say to her!" He argued with her. Eric tried to remain as quite as possible so he wouldn't gain the attention of the people passing by them.

"Well I have it now and I'm not giving it to her. Now come on we're supposed to be getting food for him." Serena told her younger brother firmly and walked in the direction of the cafeteria. He slowly tagged along behind her.