Thank you for all your reviews, both positive and negative- I know it is a touchy subject to write about, but hopefully I can achieve it with sensitivity. Special thanks to CupcakeCutie90, who sent me a very sweet PM about this and my other two Pitch Perfect stories- it meant a lot!
Beca could hardly comprehend it. Two hours earlier her kids were singing in the backseat, asking for ice cream. And now, she was a mother without children.
She knew her walls were going back up. The eighteen layers of concrete reinforced with steel (as Jesse had put it during their first year at Barden), but there was nothing she could do to stop them. Her heart was broken, and Jesse knew it.
Jesse saw Beca's walls go up like a roller door. She had shut him out completely, something he hadn't seen in such a long time.
"Becs", he said gently, reaching out to touch her, and she shrugged him aside. "Beca, talk to me-"
Covering her mouth with her hand, she took off down the hallway, ignoring his shouts. As she disappeared into the ladies bathroom, Jesse sunk down the wall, holding his head in his hands.
"Jesse", Chloe said, her voice catching in her throat yet again at the sight of the man curled in the hallway. Jesse glanced up at the redhead, before placing his head back in his hands.
"Hey Chlo".
She sunk down the wall to join him, wrapping her arms around him in a crushing hug. "I am so, so sorry", she whispered, and he felt her tears soak into her shirt. "Is there anything I can do?"
He shook his head. "I need to find Beca, I need to make sure Beca's okay".
"No, sweetie, I'll go", she told him. "Aubrey's on her way- Donald's gone back to the airport, but Benji's still here".
He nodded, her words barely registering. Kissing the top of his head gently, she stood up and made her way down the hallway in search of the missing brunette.
Chloe found Beca dry heaving over a porcelain hospital toilet, tears streaming down her face. Kneeling down beside the tiny brunette, she gathered her loose hair in her fist and brushed it back, moving Beca so she could hold her.
Beca was rigid, and she made no movement to wipe away her tears. Chloe, cooing gently, just rubbed her back and held her tight, knowing that sometimes there was nothing else you could do.
"Sweetie, come on", Chloe said gently, once her legs were uncomfortably numb and her backside was frozen. "Beca, come on, time to stand up. Beca?"
Beca shook her hand, and Chloe wasn't even sure if the brunette had heard her.
"Come on, Becs, stand up".
When Beca didn't respond, Chloe lifted her into a standing position (something that if she had tried any other time, she would have fought her about), allowing Beca to lean all her weight on her.
"Come on, Becs, we need to go and see Jesse", Chloe said gently.
Cleaning her up the best she could, Chloe supported Beca out into the hallway, where she found their entire aca pella family. Benji and Donald were sitting either side of Jesse, as Aubrey nervously paced the corridor, her eyes red rimmed and cheeks tear streaked. Lily and Stacie were crying silently, Cynthia Rose with her arms around both of them, and Fat Amy sat silently, which was worrying enough.
"Come on, we're going home", Chloe said, the voice of authority.
"Beca", Jesse said, and Beca shook her head.
"No".
Her walls were up, and she knew it. But there was no way she was letting them down, not after that night. Jesse had fought for an entire year to be let in, and she had shown him her vulnerable side. On their wedding day she had promised there were to be no more walls, but clearly she hadn't factored in something like that. It was an automatic response, to shut down- and as hard as she tried, she couldn't break through them.
Beca broke down crying as soon as Benji opened the front door. Because lining the walls of their entrance were three portraits of the kids, taken only weeks before. Connor, with his two front teeth missing, Rosie with her pigtails and angelic smile, and Isaac's chubby baby cheeks that would disappear before she knew it.
The living room was littered with toys that they had abandoned, and Isaac's beloved that he had slept with every night since he came home from the hospital. Connor's collection of trains that Beca was forever cursing when she stepped on, and the teddy bear that Rosie absolutely loved.
Glancing around the room, Beca fled towards the downstairs bathroom, Chloe following at a slightly slower pace.
"I'm sorry", Jesse said, moving quickly towards the stairs. Amy stared around in wonder, and Benji fell onto the lounge, unsure what to do.
"They're gonna get through this, right?" Stacie said uncertainly. "I mean, they're Beca and Jesse. They have to, right?"
"No, he fought for too long to get her, he's not going to lose her", Aubrey said firmly, tears lacing the edge of her voice. "He's not going to let this break them".
"They're Beca and Jesse", Lily said, her usual whisper thundering around the quiet room. "They have to make it through".
As if Beca could hear them, she silently made her way through the living room towards the stairs, climbing it silently.
"They need to be together", Chloe said in explanation, coming into the living room after Beca. "Their parents are on their way- Donald, would you be able to pick them up from the airport in the morning?"
"We'll take my minivan", Fat Amy offered, blowing her nose noisily.
Chloe just nodded, resting her head on Aubrey's shoulder, the blonde silently wrapping an arm around the redhead.
Jesse looked up from where he had been absently picking at his fingernails (a nervous habit he had picked up from his wife in their first year at Barden), hearing footsteps on the landing. When Beca appeared in the doorway, he relaxed slightly, holding his arms out.
She fell into his arms and Jesse held her tight, the two silently remembering.
