Jac: It's Jac! I don't know where Aly is, this is all the time I have, help me please! She locked me in the closet!
Aly comes in: Jac, what are you doing in the bathtub with the computer? You know what happened last time…..
Jac jumps out: Don't you dare plug in the cord again!
Aly stops plugging in cord: Oh, uh, sure. Ya, right.
Jac: That's what I thought ZZZZZZZZ.
Aly: Like I said, ya right.
Koga comes in: What did you do to my woman! Wait, she's sedated now, she won't resist!
Sesshomaru comes in and locks door: You guys haven't seen Jaken have you?
Aly laughs nervously: a heh, heh, no?'quietly asks jac' we did burn the body, right?
Jac sizzles.
Koga: Well, I don't want to waste any more time. She could wake up at any second. (drags Jac into shower and closes curtain)
Sesshomaru: That's not a bad idea (grabs Aly by the hair).
Aly: Watch the hair, grab the arms.
Sesshomaru: How dare you tell this Sesshomaru what to do! Now where is this "linen closet" you speak of?
Can hear Aly faintly screaming: Hell ya!
Together: Oh, and a shout out and thanx to -a-Lost-Cause-317-. She helped unpostpone the story. Be grateful! (invader Zim voice). Oh, and the M you were warned about should come in one of the two next chapters, aight?
FLASHBACK (lights and music come on "Damn oompaloompas!" revs chainsaw)
"YOU GOT RIN PREGNANT! You're such and idiot!" Kagome screamed.
"Now see, this is why I didn't want to tell anybody," Naraku said.
"Well, it would've been obvious," said Kagome. "I mean, how could we not notice Rin getting fatter and fatter every month?"
"It's not like I asked for this!" Naraku defended himself.
"Oh ya, Rin climbed ontop of herself and got herself pregnant!" Kagome said sarcastically.
"And you wanted me to tell Kagura," Naraku smirked.
"Well not in those words!" Kagome said.
"How am I gonna explain this to Sesshomaru? Oh god, he'll kill me!" Naraku started freaking out.
"Kill, no, castrate or injure, yes."
"Rin doesn't know yet," Naraku said.
"HOW COULD SHE NOT KNOW? SHE'S THE ONE THAT'S KNOCKED UP!" Kagome said.
"I can smell it," Naraku said.
"Don't you mean feel?"
"No, I mean smell. Remember, demon here. Demon."
"Right………."
"Well?" Naraku growled. "I told you so that you could help!"
"Well tell me what the problem is!" Kagome screamed back.
"Hello! It's Sesshomaru's sister!" Naraku said.
"Hey, guys what's going on?" said a voice from the bushes.
END
(hahaha. Ya right. But it can't be a cliffy. Too short)
"Miroku! What the hell are you doing in those bushes…..nevermind, I don't wanna know."kagome shuddered
"What? Old habits die hard." Miroku stepped out with a bunny he was petting.
Kagome and Naraku looked at each other. "You've gone too far with this one Maidens."
"What he was only petting it!"
"Ya, I was just watching because I thought I was going to see some action," Miroku explained.
"Ew Miroku! Go to the video store like normal teenagers! Besides, pregnant girlfriend situation here!"
"YOU'RE PREGNANT?" Mirouku screamed. "AND FROM A GIRL? You soo could have called me for that!"
"I'm not pregnant you idiot! Rin is! I mean uh, Kohaku, I mean Kagura!"
"You got all four pregnant? Dang you're good!" Miroku complimented.
"Where do you get four?" Kagome asked.
"Well, you have been putting on some weight lately Kagome…" said Miroku, not getting to finish his sentence because Kagome's fist connected with his jaw.
"MORON! It's just bloating. I'm menstrual."
"I thought you smelled bad," Naraku commented.
Then, all of a sudden Kikyo pops out of the bushes.
"What are you doing here?"
She eyes Miroku. "You said you wanted some action (starts putting hand down pants and………………………..pulls out sword). Want to ninja fight?"
"Go away Kinky-hoe. I don't eat sloppy seconds."
"OH! Burn!" Naraku said.
"You got told nigga!" Kagome said.
"Whatever cracker!" Kikyo said.
"So, how are you gonna support all those babies mommas?" Miroku asked.
"Imbecile! Only Rin's pregnant!" Naraku said.
Miroku and Kikyo sit down in front of Naraku. "Well? Continue."
"This doesn't concern you kinky-hoe. Neither does it you Miroku. Why don't you both go home?"
"By the way, why were you in the bushes?" Kagome asked.
Blushes. "I couldn't find the bathroom."
All groan.
"Sick!"
"Nasty"
"I've got you now Potter! I mean, Gross!"
They all looked weird at Miroku.
"What? I was on level five of the "Harry Potter Quidditch Game". (holds up game boy with game on screen.) On sale now at all best buys!"
"Okay, enough TV for you!"
"TV good…….. That's where I got my escalator!"
"You what?"
"Never mind. Go to sleep."
"We're in the park Miroku!"
"Fine. Let's go home!" Picks up bunny and drags away Kikyo by the hair. "I'm gonna put a nice flower in you clay pot!"
Both shake heads. (okay now enough of this silly and back to the real conversation.)
"I don't know how I'm going to tell him!" starts crying.
"Dude, are you Naraku? Cause this is freaking me out!" Kagome said. "Just suck it up and tell him! Sure he might kill you, but you're his sister's babies daddy! He'll bring you back with tensaiga!" Kagome said, trying to comfort him.
"Ya, I guess your right. Thanks Kagome," Naraku said.
"Sure, now take me home before any more weird shit happens!" Kagome said and ran to the car.
END FLASHBACK
"You okay there Kagome?" Sesshomaru asked.
"Ya, you've been out of it for a while there. About an hour," Bankotsu said.
"What? Oh ya, I was just flashing back for the readers benefit," Kagome said.
"What are you talking about?" Sesshomaru asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Uh, nothing, nothing. Now, what's this secret you have Bankotsu?" Kagome asked.
"Like I would tell you!" Bankotsu said.
"Come on, what is it? Did you kill you someone? Remember I was cool about it last time," Kagome joked.
"What-Who told you? Oh, uh I mean more pizza!" Bankotsu said.
'No wonder Miroku said I've been putting on weight, eating all this pizza.' Kagome thought.
'Ya, you have been getting a little pudgy,' Sesshomaru thought.
'How dare you read my thoughts!' Kagome thought screamed at him.
We're sorry, the telepathic link has been lost. Please try again in a few seconds. Beep…………beep………beep……..
"Well, you did say it out loud," Sesshomaru lied.
"HA! They say that you lied!" Kagome said.
"Who's they?" Sesshomaru asked.
Get real close and whispers, "The authors. They're coming." (as/n we really are. Next chapter! And if you tattle to the boards we swear we'll hunt you down and gut you like a fish!)
Kagome smacks forehead. "Just shut up! Shut up all of you!"
Sesshomaru scoots away. "No more orange juice for you! From now on it's hard up liquor like usual." Grabs a bottle and pours it down her throat.
"Hey, where's Ban?" Kagome asked while gagging.
"He ran to get more pizza to keep you from knowing his secret of liking you," Sesshomaru said calmly, fully aware of what he had told Kagome.
"What!"
"Oh ya, he has a big crush on you. Why do you think Inuyasha doesn't want you hanging around with him?"
"What does Inuyasha have to do with this?" Kagome asked.
"Well, don't tell, him, but I was reading his diary, and he said that he likes you…"
"Wait, back up he has a DIARY? As in a GIRL diary?" Kagome said incredulously.
"Ya, it even says Kitty-Kitty-Meow-Meow on the front and has a fuzzy little heart for the lock!" Sesshomaru said laughing.
"If it was locked, how did you read it?"
"I stole the heart shaped key from his keychain," Sesshomaru explained.
"Hey! He told me that was Kikyo's!" Kagome exclaimed. "Well, I guess I should have known when I asked Kikyo if it was hers and she said no that it was Inuyasha's key to his diary."
Kagome's cell rang again. "Guess who!" said a high girlish voice.
"Souta, how many times have I told you after 8, otherwise the charges will kill me!"
Overage charges: She's onto us! Come on Johnny! We've gotta skip town.
"I know, I know, but Inuyasha's here and.."
"Inuyasha's at my house! Why is he there?" Kagome asked.
"Oh, you know, he just came over to eat your food and use the bathroom and stuff. Not to talk to you or anything," Souta said sarcastically.
"Oh," Kagome said, getting sad.
"I was being sarcastica you moron!"
"Oh. OH! But I'm hanging out with Sesshomaru," Kagome started.
"Oh ya, his girlfriend called here and told me to tell you to tell him that she told him not to wear the red one tonight, whatever that means," Souta said.
"Okay, did you catch that Sesshomaru?" Kagome said.
"What is this catching you speak of?" Sesshomaru asked.
"You're girlfriend told you not to wear the red one tonight," Kagome said.
"Damn, it's already on," Sesshomaru mumbled.
"What is this red one you speak of?" Kagome said.
Sesshomaru starts pulling down pants.
"Kagome? Kagome are you still there? THUMP. Kagome? Are you okay? Sounds like you fell over? Okay, bye then!"
Kagome picks herself off the floor. "I gotta…..driveway…..gangster's hat….thingy."
"That's not even a sentence!" Sesshomaru said. 'Ha, told him it'd knock her out,' he thought.
'Who'd you tell?' Kagome thought back.
'Um Sesshomaru's not here right now. Please leave a messages at the beep. BEEP.'
'Damn, I hate these things! Oh, um, Hi Sesshomaru! It's Kagome! Think me when you get back!'
Kagome bolted out of the house while Sesshomaru pulled up his pants.
Looking down, "Dang and I thought they looked good in red!" he said, observing his red knee socks. "I really gotta stop playing a school girl for her!"
Walking home Kagome was distracted by something shiny on the sidewalk. "Oh, shiny."
"That's right, come to papa," said a voice while he pulled the string attached to the shiny object.
"Come back shiny!" Kagome said, running after it.
"I've got you now!" she screamed.
"And I've got you!" Koga said.
"KOGA! I thought you died or at least had a girlfriend of some sort," Kagome said.
"Ayame's my cousin!"
"Not what I heard. Thought you were engaged. Oh look, there's the ring!" Kagome said.
"It's a mood ring!" Koga said, and pulled out a can of red spray paint from his back pocket and spray painted his ring.
"Ya right!"
"And so what if I do! That's not the point. The point is, I only want you!" Koga said.
"I told you Koga! We can't be together because 1) I don't like you and 2) I'm a dike." Kagome lied.
"What!" Koga exclaimed.
"Dike. You know, lesbo, don't date men," Kagome explained.
"I know when you're lying to me," Koga said.
"Sure you do," Kagome said, thinking that she had thought it. "Oh, did I say that out loud? Let's try it again."
"Ya. (coughs) I know when you're lying to me," Koga said, again.
'Sure you do,' Kagome thought. "Okay, but I really don't have the time for this right now! I have to get home!"
"Why?" Koga asked, suspiciously, seriously, he was raising his eyebrows and staring her down and everything.
"Because my brother told me and there's a mess at my house! I need to get rid of it before my mom comes home!" Kagome said, trying to put the situation the best she knew how without lying. Inuyasha was a mess, he left ramen wrappers on the floor, clawed up the couch, and he never went to the bathroom in the backyard like a good house trained dog. And if her mother found out that Kagome hadn't given him away like she was supposed to she was in serious trouble!
"Okay then, I'll help you get home! Hop on!" Koga said, kneeling down for her to get on his back.
'Oh, his fur feels so nice,' she thought. 'Wait! What am I thinking? This is Koga, not Inuyasha!'
Landing in her yard, (yes Koga ran/flew her home) she yelled a quick thanks and ran to her house.
'Oh my gosh! What's Inuyasha doing here?' Kagome thought. She started brushing her hair and putting on lip gloss.
"Why are you brushing your hair and putting on lipgloss?" Souta asked.
"What? I always brush my hair and put on lipgloss before I go to bed. You knew that! Goodnight!" Kagome said and turned off the light to her room and went to bed.
Haha. We thinks it's a good cliffy. If you want more review! And here's your freaking long chapter. Nine whole pages of the best story ever written! You should be grateful because that's the longest chapter that you are ever going to get from this story! The next one will be about what happened with Inuyasha at the house. And we know that Bankotsu is being a pussy right now but he will be all cool and himself in the next one or the next next one. Aight. REVIEW AND REPLY! Pleaz and thanx. Oh and sorry about the review replies. Watching casino makes me go mobster for the day so if your reply was mean I'm sooooooo sorry for you thinking like that.
