Hello, fellow PJO fans, and welcome back. Thank you all for the 22 favorites and the 30 that "alerted" it! Also, this is my most reviewed story, with a total of 26! Yay, virtual cookies for everyone!
Warning: This story, especially this chapter, will break the fourth wall a lot and has quite a few references, which will be signified by a bold asterisk.
On to the anonymous review replies:
DiamondHeart202: I'm not sure if I'll include Thalico with all the pairings I already have, and no secret crushes. I'll address the problem in the next chapter, maybe.
reader of the book: I made Aphrodite a hypocrite, as exposed in the first chapter.
Also, this is NOT a Pertemis. Sorry Pertemis fans!
Disclaimer:I don't own PJO
Enjoy the new chapter!
Chapter Four: Blind Dates and Artemis the Chaste
"So... how's life?" I said to my blind date, Sami, a daughter of Athena. We were at McDonalds, going on the date that Aphrodite forced me in.
"Meh, fine," she said, not even looking up from her book. Then I saw the cover.
"You've haven't read the Hunger Games Trilogy* yet?" I said. They were my second favorite book series, besides a certain one... and Aphrodite cured me of my dyslexia, so I've taken a certain liking to books. As for why Aphrodite cured me, it was because she wanted me to read her... risque and suggestive bedtime stories before she fell asleep if Ares didn't "accompany" her, though he came a lot.
"Nope, just finished reading the Harry Potter* series. Anyway, you read? My mother would never have suspected that a Sea Spawn would be fond of books," said Sami. Ouch.
"You can thank a certain goddess for that. Not your mom. What'd your favorite series?"
"Umm... Kane Chronicles*." What? The only thing that was outstanding about that series are their covers. It's like encasing crap in gold wrapping paper. (AN: Yeah, I don't like the Kane Chronicles that much. In my opinion, Rick puts a lot more effort in PJO and HoO than TKC, but the covers are amazing at least.)
"Well, mine is the Percy Jackson and the Olympians* series," I said.
"Really? I don't really like the main character. He's such a dork," said Sami with a disgusted look on her face. Then her nose went diving back into her book. Great, I lost her again. If I didn't get her to like me by the end of the date, Aphrodite wouldn't diminish Artemis' love for me.
I decided to try small talk with my petite date again, "So, who do you like better, Peeta or Gale?"
"I like Gale. It appears he's smarter and more skilled."
"Really? Cause I'm Team Peeniss!" That's when she doubled over.
"Team what? I think it's called Katta, and the books aren't about love. They're about a post-apocalyptic totalitarianism and how the people dealt with it, but I guess you would focus on the fluff due to Aphrodite being your patron," said Sami, turning what seems to be the final pages of the book. I sighed. I had to turn the tide some how. Then I had a really great idea worthy of Palutena*- I mean Athena.
"You know what Sami?" She looked up from her book. "You aren't pretty, you aren't beautiful." At this point, she looked ready to kill.
"You are as radiant as the sun*," I said, quoting directly from Katniss. She smiled, leaned over the table, and kissed me. It was a nice kiss, but it was WAY too much like Annabeth's for me to enjoy.
I pulled back, fixing Sami's crooked hipster glasses. "We shouldn't do this in public, right?" She blushed and popped a fry into her mouth. We continued to talk, her giving me her undivided attention, till around three in the afternoon and left for camp.
"See you some other time?" asked Sami. I smiled at her and saluted, giving her an indefinite yet cheezy response. She giggled and shut the door. I turned around, ready to report to Aphrodite, when I saw a certain daughter of hers with an Hispanic demigod in tow.
"Hey guys!" I said to the approaching forms of Piper and Leo, hands intertwined. Jason chose Reyna, so Leo decided to swoop in and save Piper's broken heart, friends realizing that they want to be more than friends.
"Percy, I need to talk to you. Come on you two, into my cabin," said Piper, leading us into my lady's cabin, which was devoid of half bloods. Probably out combing their hair near the lake.
"Percy, has Mom been messing with you?"
"Nothing more than the norm. Why?"
"Didn't you see the reviews lately, and haven't you've been reading your own story*? There's Pertemis, Percabeth, Perodite, and now there might be Percy/OC! This might be too much for the mortals to handle!" stated the Daughter of Aphrodite. "Right Leo?"
Then his eyes started looking left and right. "Um, I haven't been reading this fic a lot. I actually like Fire Meets Water*, so I've been reading that instead!"
Piper was about to say something, but I interrupted. "That's actually a really good Percy/Katniss fic. And Piper, I think I'll have the Pertemis solved by the end of this chapter*. And I don't like anyone, okay?"
We chatted a little and we parted, me flying towards Olympus and the couple probably going to make out in Leo's secret room. And yes, I know about that secret room under his bed. Beckendorf told me before he... you know.
"See Athena, love does rule over mind!" said Aphrodite, a smug look on her face.
"Fine, I will honor our bet tomorrow, Aphrodite. Goodnight," said Athena, teleporting to her temple.
"If you don't mind my asking, my lady, what was the bet?" I asked.
"Since Athena lost the bet, she has to go on a date with Poseidon! Pothena for the win!" she said, pumping her fist in the air.
"So, Lady Aphrodite, about Artemis?" I asked, anxious for it to be over.
"Yes, my young pupil, just-" Then Artemis appeared, frying pan unsheathed. She dashed under Aphrodite's guard and whacked her hard, knocking her unconscious.
"Hello, Perseus," said the Goddess of Chastity calmly, bringing out a few handcuffs. "If you won't come peacefully, then I'll just have to take you forcefully." What was she doing, and how did she get out of Hephaestus' strongest cage?
Without warning, she threw a cuff, pinning my right arm to the wall. I used "raw angel power*" to break the wall and jumped out a window, dodging a seemingly endless supply of handcuffs. I spread my wings and glided away from Aphrodite's Palace and from Olympus. From a distance, I could hear Artemis yell, "Moon Chariot, to me!" I whipped around to see a silver chariot pulled by silver reindeer homing in on me at speeds incomprehendable. Knowing I couldn't out-fly a godly chariot, I pulled out Riptide and readied it, standing my ground. I wouldn't go down without a fight.
I held up my sword and tried to slash at the reins, but all effort was futile. Their heads connected with my stomach before I could even touch the reins, sending me plummeting thirty feet towards the ground and knocking me out.
"It seems that you are awake, Perseus," said Artemis as I gained consciousness. I was in a dark cave, cuffed to the stone wall by my wrists, ankles, waist and forehead. In the small opening of the cave, I could make out a silver tent. We were near Artemis' camp, so I can't scream for help. Besides, the only Huntress that would and could help would be Thalia.
"It seems so, Lady Artemis," I said. She swooped in for a kiss, but I was flicking my tongue everywhere, effectively preventing her from kissing me. She stopped me by punching my already sore stomach.
"Naughty little boy," she said while rubbing her hand over my... lower parts. I had tried many times to contact a deity, Poseidon or Aphrodite, but no response.
"Now, for the main event."
"B-But you're the Goddess of Chastity! You can't do this! Plus, this FanFic is Rated T*!"
"There's always a first, Perseus," she said. "And screw the ratings. We're gonna go Mature all the way!" Then I realized the gravity of the situation. Artemis was going to rape me. Luckily, a certain immortal came to save the day.
"Peter!" yelled Dionysus, his palm facing Artemis. At once, a purple mist came out of her mouth. He was dispelling the insanity caused by the love. Then Aphrodite came and the samething happened, only the mist was pink. At that instant, Artemis fainted.
"Wh-Why did you save me, Mr. D?" I asked. He hated ALL demigods, excluding his own, and I was definitely not his son.
"I owed you... for saving Pollux." Then realization hit me. In the final battle, in the land of Greece, Pollux was about to die the same way Castor died, when I blocked the blow, giving him time to escape. "And now, Johnson, we're even."
Dionysus teleported when Hephaestus showed up and broke off the chains, as a favor for his wife. He then left without saying a word. I fixed my ripped clothes and said, "Thanks for coming to the rescue, my lady. And how did Artemis escape from the cage?"
"She must've changed her form into something small," said my patron. She grabbed my hand and teleported us away. Once we were in her house, I fell asleep.
So, don't forget to R&R for more chappies, even if you've already reviewed. It gives me inspiration and feedback! And beware the angry Artemis in the next chapter!
ICO, signing off!
