Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
- Marianne Williamson


The Big Guns

Cyborg had originally planned on immediately talking with Beast Boy about his ordeal as soon as they got back to the Tower. However, that plan went out the window as soon as Cyborg saw just how shaken up his friend was.

So instead of talking, the pair sat silently on the couch, trying to relax. Cyborg had procured a veritable smorgasbord of snack foods and sodas, as well as a video of one of Beast Boy's favorite stand-up comedy routines. An hour later, the video was done, and about half of the junk food had been consumed. Cyborg ascertained that his friend had calmed down enough to talk a little, and initiated the conversation.

"So," he started, "you feeling any better?"

Beast Boy didn't reply. Cyborg began to worry, thinking that his gregarious friend was suddenly mute. He was about to repeat the question (just to be safe) when the changeling spoke.

"No."

Cyborg groaned inwardly. He really wanted to do this without bringing out the big guns.

"Well, tell me how you're feeling at least," he request.

Beast Boy took his time to reply, but Cyborg was expecting that.

"I… really don't know," he finally said. "I guess confused, scared, and betrayed would sum it up nicely."

Cyborg winced, but let his friend continue uninterrupted.

"I remember everything that I saw… that I heard. When I wasn't trapped in a flashback I was… I can't describe it. I felt… hunted. Like I was fleeing from an invisible phantom that would strip the flesh from my bones and leave my remains to bleach in the sun."

Beast Boy hesitated, as though he expected Cyborg to say something. Nothing was forthcoming, so he continued.

"Most of the time I was stuck in a blind panic. But when I found shelter, it was even worse- that's when the flashbacks came. Everything I ever wanted to forget- that monkey, the first time I killed, my parents' death, the jewel thieves, the Beast…"

He choked a little bit.

"…Terra's betrayal."

Cyborg laid his hand on Beast Boy's shoulder, doing what he could to comfort the changeling.

"But the worst thing wasn't the flashbacks. I mean, they were some of the most horrible things that have happened to me, but they've already happened. They've happened, and I've gotten past them, for the most part.

"No, the worst was when I was lucid enough to ask myself how someone I trusted with my life could do this to me."

"She didn't know."

Beast Boy stiffened, then began to whisper.

"She didn't know, but she should have known better."

Cyborg had nothing to say to this. Beast Boy was right about that. They sat in silence for another few minutes before Cyborg spoke up again.

"She's really broken up over this- I don't think I can convey just how sorry she is."

Beast Boy gave a bitter laugh.

"That's ironic- the last thing I remember before she broke my brain was her yelling at me about 'being sorry.' Sorry isn't enough this time, though. How can I trust her again, knowing that she can even conceive of doing this sort of thing? As it is, I can't even look at her without freaking out."

Cyborg cocked an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that? Is the spell still there?"

"No, it's not that. I mean, I don't think it is. If It were, I'd be afraid for my life right now, I think. As it is, I'm just… numb. And when I looked at Raven in the city… I couldn't see her. I mean, I could see her, but I couldn't see her, if that makes any sense. I saw the demon that attacked my mind, not the girl I knew and… trusted."

Cyborg suspected that Beast Boy was about to say something besides "trusted" in that last sentence, but wisely decided to let it slide. There was a time and a place for teasing, and this wasn't it. It was, however, the time and place for bringing out the heavy artillery.

"Beast Boy, I'll be right back. Don't you move a muscle, comprende?"

Beast Boy nodded, and Cyborg dashed from the room.


Even though he had permission to do whatever he wanted, the robotic Titan still hesitated a second before entering Raven's room. It wasn't out of fear- she had learned her lesson, he'd wager- but out of the distinct feeling of not belonging in there. Still, what must be done must be done, and he opened the door.

Stepping inside, he scanned the domicile for his target. He knew she wouldn't leave it hanging out in the open, so he'd probably have to do some digging.

I don't think it'd be wise to rummage through her dresser- reformed woman or not, it's just not smart to dig through a half-demon's underwear drawer.

With that little thought out of the way, Cyborg moved to the nightstand by the bed. He opened the drawer and began to search.

Diary? Hmmm, sealed shut. Probably a good idea, all things considered. Well, well- I wasn't expecting lip gloss, that's for sure. A picture of the team? Oh look, she's smiling! She didn't even notice Beast Boy giving her bunny ears. It took him weeks to stop joking about Mumbo's hat.

Oh. What's this?

Cyborg hit the bottom of the drawer, but his sensors weren't fooled. He knew for a fact that the drawer should be six and a half inches deep, but he'd only found five and three quarters. That meant…

False bottom. Come on, Raven- you're cleverer than this! I mean, your underwear drawer would have been infinitely more secure, that's for sure. Ahh, here it is!

Clutching his prize behind his back, Cyborg beat a hasty retreat back to the living room.

Beast Boy was deep in thought when Cyborg returned, pondering many things, but particularly…

"What am I going to do when the others get back? You said Robin and Starfire were 'patrolling'…"

Beast Boy allowed himself the smallest of grins. Even his current funk couldn't fully suppress his amusement at Robin's obvious infatuation and current predicament.

"… and Raven has to come back sometime, probably before I've gotten over my issue with her…"

"That," Cyborg said, "is why I just invaded Raven's room."

Beast Boy looked at Cyborg as if he'd just announced that he was made of cheese.

"Now, before I show you this, I'm going to remind you of something. Raven really is sorry. Actually, she's beyond sorry- the girl blew a hole in the Tower's lockdown looking for you. So, when you see her next, even if what you see is four eyed and tentacled, you're safe. Keep that thought in the forefront of your mind and we might get out of this intact."

"Cyborg, what the devil are you going on about? I thought you said Raven wasn't in the Tower. And why on earth did you go into her room?"

Cyborg whipped out what he'd grabbed from Raven's nightstand, and Beast Boy's eyes went wide.

"You're certifiable, Cyborg. You know that?"

A glowing red claw erupted from the mirror in Cyborg's hand, and with a flash, Beast Boy was gone.


Raven didn't remember moving from the street. She didn't remember how she got to the local ice cream parlor. To say that she was more than a little surprised at her surroundings when Cyborg snapped her out of her stupor would have been an understatement.

"Hey Raven, how you holding up?"

Raven looked around at her table before responding.

"I've got six empty one-pint cartons of chocolate ice cream that I don't remember eating. Take a guess."

Cyborg gave a nervous chuckle. At least she had her sarcasm. That was good, right?

"Well, I just sent Beast Boy off- except for a few outstanding issues, he's alright."

Raven knew what he meant by "outstanding issues." The look that Beast Boy had given her before Cyborg carried him home left her with no doubt about that.

"What do you mean by 'sent off?' If anyone should be kicked out, it's me- not him!"

Cyborg shook his head quickly. "No, no, nothing like that. Nobody's leaving the team, got it? He's just getting some… intensive therapy. No, I won't explain further, you're just going to have to trust me on this one."

Like I have a choice.

"So, what do you want from me, Cyborg? I'm guessing that this isn't just a social call."

"Well, it sort of is- I was worried about you, Raven. But yeah, I do have a favor to ask."

"Yes?"

"Find a way to calm your nerves that doesn't involve meditation. You can come back to the Tower and read a book or something. Don't worry- you won't run into Beast Boy, not until you two are both ready."

"I'm not so sure that's a good idea- I mean, what if he hears me and that sets him off again?"

Cyborg laughed.

"Raven, just trust me here. There's no way your coming to the Tower will have any effect on him. Just come on home. If you really want to numb your mind, rot your brain out with some video games or something. And before you ask- no, there isn't a bet between any of the rest of us concerning you and video games."

Raven rolled her eyes and sighed. She really wasn't in the mood for arguing.

"Fine, I'm on my way back."

"Attagirl."


Beast Boy landed on the floating rock with a crash. Pulling himself to his feet, he looked around. It looked just like the last time he'd been here, except that the evil pigeons were gone.

I don't suppose I can get to the Forbidden Door without running into Raven… damn Cyborg!

Beast Boy began his trek through Raven's mind, walking towards the nearest portal he could see. He hesitated briefly before walking through. What greeted him on the other side took his breath away.

A rotting strawberry floated past his shocked face, the only sign that he was in Happy's domain. What had once been jokingly referred to as the land of air fresheners now looked more like a 1918 Argonne Forest. The green grass had been replaced with smoking craters, the formerly lush trees had been charred to a crisp, and even the nearby burbling brook sounded sad. The sky had been bright and sunny during his last visit, but now it was a starless, moonless nighttime monstrosity. Beast Boy hurriedly made his way through the blasted landscape, desperately trying to find the way out. Unfortunately for him, the trail that led the way had been completely obliterated, and he quickly got lost.

And because of this, the portal he finally found didn't take him towards the Forbidden Door, but only deeper into Raven's mind.

Unbeknownst to Beast Boy, his passage through the land of Happy was observed by a woman in a black cloak, who sank into the ground as he left.