A/N: I know I left off with a big cliffhanger, and I'm sorry it's taken so long to update, but the posting feature of FanFiction wasn't working for a few days, so it's not my fault!!
This chapter is dedicated to my best friend Emily- thanks for always giving me advice and being really supportive!! 33333
~J
Disclaimer: Do you think we actually have to do disclaimers? I mean who would really care if we didn't? I don't think Stephenie Meyer has people searching the web for Twilight FanFics without disclaimers!! But just to be on the safe side…THESE AREN'T MY CHARACTERS!!!!!
EPOV:
"Hey Edward!" Tanya sang as she skipped towards me. Ugh, why was she always so cheerful? I'm not saying I like depressed girls, but I'd like someone a little bit more relaxed.
As we walked across the room, I saw my costar, Isabella Swan, sitting in a corner. I smirked at her, then ate a breathmint and winked. I could tell she was nervous about the kissing scene, and I wanted to psyche her out even more; I had never liked her because of her cold and distant personality.
"Sooooooo…" Tanya continued, bringing me back from my thoughts. "I got you a PRESENT!"
If she insisted on continuing, I was going to get her voice lessons; she was tone-deaf! I put on a fake smile, although I hated pretending to like people on set. "Really?" I asked with faked enthusiasm. "What is it?"
"Chocolate Hippos!" she squealed. Even though Tanya was annoying, she was useful. Chocolate Hippos were a special kind of candy that were only sold in Cambodia and were practically impossible to find online. They were my absolute favorite, and Tanya was the insane kind of girl who would go to tons of trouble to get a guy.
This time, I didn't have to fake my excitement. "Thanks! It must have taken forever to find these!"
"Well, yeah." She admitted. "But you're worth it."
She smiled radiantly. Even though she wasn't at all my type, she was still really pretty. I found myself leaning in to kiss her.
She kissed me back fervently, with a little too much passion. I mean, we'd kissed before a couple times, as was expected given the way girls flocked to me. But still, it was a bit much. It was nice, I'm not going to lie, it just wasn't…right. There wasn't a spark, a special feeling that made me stop and think She's the one. Not that there ever had been.
All my life, I'd been the ultimate player. I had everything I needed- the looks, the personality, the friends. But I secretly wanted to find the one girl who would make me forget about all the others. My perfect match, my soul mate, my other half. All the corny terms thrown around that made my friends laugh. I laughed with them, but on the inside, I was aching with jealousy and desire. I wanted to find that person! And I worried that I never would.
All of this flashed through my mind in just a few seconds, and by that time, Tanya was pulling away. I think she could tell that I wasn't really into it. She handed me the candy, said, "Gotta go to hair-and-makeup," and was gone before I could say 'Chocolate Hippos.'
As I walked toward the male hair-and-makeup station, I saw another extra whose name I couldn't remember, something with a 'C.' She was very pretty though, with long silky chestnut hair and a full figure. For some reason, I found myself being reminded of Isabella. I thrust the thought from my mind, and started flirting with the girl.
She actually seemed really nice. But even though she was funny and charming, I kept being distracted by Isabella. I saw her talking to one of the other extras, and she still seemed uptight. I wondered why she was so worried about the kissing scene, then I remembered she had a boyfriend, so maybe that explained it. I didn't know, because I had never had a girlfriend, but I assumed that was the answer.
For some inexplicable reason, I felt a wave of jealousy ripple over me. I was shocked. Why would I envy Isabella's boyfriend? Maybe because he had something that I didn't, but that I had always wanted- a girlfriend. But it couldn't be Isabella…I didn't envy him her. I didn't, no, I couldn't want her. Her attitude repulsed me.
I tried to forget about the disturbing thoughts, but I couldn't seem to. I actually was looking forward to the kissing scene. I had been feeling strange since I locked eyes with Isabella earlier. I looked over again, and saw that she was talking on the phone. For some reason I couldn't explain, I found myself wondering who she was talking to, and what she was talking about. Why was I so interested in her all of a sudden?
I breathed a sigh of relief when the director called, "Everyone back on set!" I had been having trouble concentrating on my conversation with the extra, and was glad for the excuse to get away. I mentally chided myself. Normally, I would be pleased to be talking to a beautiful, nice girl like that.
I knew all my lines so well I could say them in my sleep, which was good because I couldn't concentrate on them at all. All I could think about was that soon, my lips would be pressed against Isabella's.
All too soon, yet also not quickly enough, I found recognized the cue for our kiss and found myself leaning in. Isabella closed her eyes and hesitantly leaned toward me, as if she could barely keep the grimace off her face. Oh well, here goes.
The second our lips met, I felt as if an electric current was running through us. I heard her gasp quietly, and was disappointed, assuming that it was a negative gasp and she would pull away. Not that that would be a bad thing considering we would get to kiss again… But before that thought could even fully develop, she was pressing against me, kissing me enthusiastically.
I automatically kissed her back, my mouth working faster than my brain. I couldn't understand her at all. She always acted as if she hated me, but now she was kissing me, and there was no way to deny that we had chemistry. I had never felt an immediate connection to a girl, but I recognized one with Isabella right away.
I knew that it was supposed to be a short kiss, but it no longer seemed like acting. Our kiss was completely real. We weren't actors performing a scene, we were real people. However, I didn't want our strict director to get mad, so I forced myself to pull away. Isabella's face looked exactly how I felt- sad, like I was losing something.
The director said something, but I couldn't pay attention. I was lost in her eyes. Finally, she tore her gaze away and responded to the unknown question. He looked at me next, with a questioning visage, but my thoughts were still muddled. "Urm… well… um…I'm feeling kind of weird, I think I need to use the restroom" I mumbled, barely able to form a coherent sentence. I wasn't lying, just not telling the whole truth.
I must have looked flustered, so the director thankfully waved me away. I rushed out of the room, and leaned against the wall in the hallway, gasping. I heard the woosh as the door swung back, but I didn't hear the click of it closing. I groaned quietly. Of course someone would follow me.
I turned, expecting to see Tanya or one of the other extras, then froze in surprise as I saw Isabella's chocolate eyes staring back at me.
"We need to talk." She hissed.
"Alright," I agreed without hesitation; I couldn't refuse her anything. I was putty in her hands, melted under her intense, yet soft gaze.
"In private." She added. I took her hand to lead her to an editing room I knew wasn't being used. I felt her hand stiffen as it touched mine, and mentally cursed myself for touching her. She probably still hated me.
As we entered the dark, empty room, I flicked on one of the light switches and asked gruffly, "So, what did you want to talk about?"
She seemed shocked at my sudden change in composure, but I couldn't bear it if she realized how I felt for her and didn't return the feelings. Wait…how I felt for her? Somehow, my unconscious brain already knew that I loved her. Before that day, I had only talked to her while acting. But all of a sudden, everything changed. I knew it was superficial to fall for a girl based on a kiss, but I was sure that she was even more amazing inside.
She must have registered the rapid changes in my expression, because she asked tenderly, "Are you okay?"
It made my heart swell to hear her talking to me so sweetly, as if she was my girlfriend. No! I stopped myself from dreaming of fantasies that would only hurt me later. I took a deep breath and replied, "No, I'm fine." That was the biggest lie in the world, and I felt horrible deceiving her, but I don't think it would go over well if I answered truthfully. I could imagine how it would go---
Her: Are you okay?
Me: No, actually I'm madly in love with you, but I just figured it out when we kissed.
Her: What?! You jerk! *Punches me in the face and storms out of the room.
Yeah, that would be great. So I just played it cool, and asked again, "What did you want to talk about?" more impatiently.
"Umm…" she paused and looked into my eyes, and seemed to lose her train of thought. Not that I blamed her, because my brain pretty much turned to mush whenever I looked at her. I felt like I could see all the way to her soul, and I just couldn't help myself. "I love you," I whispered as I leaned in to kiss her.
Oh no! What had I done?!? I couldn't believe I had just said that. I could see indecision warring on her face in the second she had before our lips met, and just when I rejoiced and thought that she would actually let me kiss her, she leaned back quickly and slapped me across the face. She spun around and rushed out of the room with tears in her eyes.
A single tear formed in the corner of my eye. It slowly slid down my cheek and dripped to the floor. I had ruined everything, and I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. But I deserved it. I had been an idiot, and even worse, I had hurt Bella, and that was inexcusable. But I knew what I had to do. I would prove to Bella that I was good enough for her to care about, even a fraction as much as I loved her. Even if she only loved me 1/100th of the amount I loved her, it would be enough. Suddenly, my whole body was reconditioned, not to need oxygen or food, just to need her. I would stop my player-esque ways, and become a truly good person. I would do whatever it took to get her to love me.
A/N: Teehee, this chapter was a little wacky, and sad at the end, but I like it! Please review! Cookies for all reviewers!
~J
