I'm so sorry for all those mistakes I made. I thought I could do without a second reread.
I've reread it now and hopefully found all mistakes

John lay on his bed in his quarters. It was some time around midnight. It was pretty much the same as every night since he left the infirmary. Although the door was locked he didn't feel safe. He felt vulnerable. He knew that there was a man who had a medical access code allowing him entrance everywhere in the city. There was no place to go. No place to feel safe, safe enough to sleep.

Elizabeth had tried several times to talk to him but he was quite successful at avoiding her. He didn't have to worry about the Doctor has he was avoiding him as much as he did. His team mates on the other hand were blissfully unaware of what had happened in the infirmary. Rodney might have been a bit insulted by the fact that he wouldn't let him visit. But he forgot about that soon.

But as the days went on they began to realise that their CO wasn't sleeping very well. Teyla was the first to recognise the signs of fatigue. As she began expressing her concerns John told her about the earth illness called insomnia and lied about the fact that it would come and go. She had believed him and asked no further questions since then as he'd added that insomnia was something the people of earth didn't like talking about.

Ford was sure as hell aware of his tiredness and was clearly worried. But he thankfully accepted the privacy of his CO and tried to act as if nothing was wrong.

Rodney was a whole other story. It took him a lot longer to realise but when he did he was a real pain in the ass. The terrible know-it-all that he was kept giving him advice how to find sleep. He kept coming with new ideas and finally even proposed meeting Dr. Heightmeyer.

But what he couldn't tell Rodney was that he really didn't want to sleep. He rather tried to prevent falling asleep. He drank a lot of coffee and went to bed very late. He slept now and then anyway during nights but then he would have terrible nightmares waking him up soon.

He was bored out of his mind not being allowed to do anything. But if he ever wanted to be cleared for active duty again he'd have to go and see Beckett. The pain in his chest was minimal by now and there might be a chance to be cleared for light duty. That would definitely include flying. He missed flying.

As he was released from the infirmary he had thought a lot about a safer place than his quarters but gave up soon. Everything with a lock could be opened by the Doctor. But thinking about flying it struck him. Why hadn't he thought of that earlier?

John rose from his bed and dressed. He slipped out of his quarters and quietly made his way towards the jumper bay.

In the jumper bay he randomly chose a jumper and opened its hatch. He sat in front of the console thinking the ship on. First he closed the hatch locking, then he thought the jumper invisible and finally shut down all the unnecessary functions of the jumper.

Having ensured security at last he leaned back in the chair almost falling asleep. But as John was not too keen on a stiff neck in the morning he heaved himself out of the chair, lay down on the bench and fell asleep immediately.

"Major Sheppard, are you in there?"

Dr. Beckett stood in front of Sheppards quarters. He had already tried knocking. But as before he got no response. Dr. Weir had asked him to pay John a visit since nobody had seen him in 24 hours.

It took some convincing to get the Doctor walking to Sheppards quarters. Ever since he'd had to keep the man in his infirmary against his will he had chosen to avoid closer contact with him. Carson knew that John had lost all good faith with him and might be afraid of any other medical situation like the last one. But he had no intention whatsoever to put him through something like that again soon, hoping that he might be able to gain some trust with the Major before it would be necessary.

But Dr. Beckett had to know whether John was in his quarters and in need of medical attention. Although the surgical incision and the rips must've healed nicely by now there were numerous things possibly ailing the Major. He hadn't been once to the infirmary for a check-up. He activated his radio.

"Grodin, come in, please."

"Dr. Beckett. What can I do for you?"

"I'd like you to check Major Sheppards quarters for any life signs."

"One second … There are no life signs being detected, Doctor."

"Thanks, lad." Beckett sighed. Somehow he was glad that he hadn't found the Major. Yes, he wanted to talk to him about what had happened. But it was just too early for that. He had seen the fatigue in the Major which told him more than enough about his psychological condition. Deciding that he had to talk in private with Dr. Weir he walked to her office

"Carson, come in! Have you found him yet?" Elizabeth was surprised to see her CMO in her office in person as she had expected him to inform her over the radio.

"No Elizabeth. He's not in his quarters. But he has to be somewhere in the inhabited part of the City as there are no life sign showing up in the lonely outskirts of the City."

"So what are we going to do now?"

"Stop looking for him."

"Why?"

"You know I'm not allowed to tell you anything about patients so you have to trust me right now. I think he desperately needs to be alone right now and I'd like him to return on his own."

"Are you sure about that? How do you know, he doesn't need help?"

"Trust me Elizabeth. Help is the last thing he needs right now. Putting any kind of pressure on him might be a horrible mistake right now."

"Alright. But if he's gone for more than seven days I'll have to start looking for him."

"Thank you. I do hope it's not going to take that long."

When John awoke at last he had no idea how long he'd been sleeping but he was feeling a lot better. Well he rather felt nauseous than hungry but as he could've slept for days for all he knew the nausea was probably caused by dehydration. He'd often awoken from a long sleep feeling like this.

He slowly sat up on the bench. The makeshift bed had left every muscle in his body tense. Stretching them he rose from the bench. He'd have to find some water somewhere and let the others know he was alright. They might have missed him for who knows how long. John walked in the cockpit of the jumper, disabled the cloak and opened the rear hatch.

The jumper bay was deserted so he slipped out heading for his quarters being desperately in need of a long hot shower. The hallways were also empty and he found his way to his quarters without meeting anybody. Inside John took a look outside the window from were he could see the sun rising. So it was probably 5 or 6 am. Excellent waking up, he thought.

Taking off his clothes John headed for the much needed refreshment. But before he stepped under the shower he took one mouthful of water to rinse his mouth and another to quench his thirst. The hot water eased his tense muscles and washed away the sickening smell of sleep but the nausea lingered.

The first person he met in the hallway was Teyla. Calling out his name in surprise she caught up with him.

"Major Sheppard! It's good to see you again."

"Likewise!"

"We were all wondering were you've been yesterday. Nobody had seen you."

At least he knew now how long he's been asleep. "Well, you know what I've told you about the insomnia thing?"

"Yes. I remember."

"I think I'm over it. I had to do a bit of a catch up and slept a little while longer."

"Even if I were that tired I could never sleep that long!"

"Yeah, I can imagine that. But I know a lot of people on earth who'd sleep through a day from time to time."

"I have to admit that your condition seems to have improved."

"Thanks Teyla. So, um… where are you going?"

"Dr Weir asked me to see her. I'm heading for her office."

"Oh… so, say hello to her from me. I'm going to have a huge breakfast!"

Teyla smiled and took the hallway leading to Weir's office while Sheppard took another leading to the mess hall. He'd lied about the breakfast. He just couldn't imagine eating anything at all right now. But there were pretty good alternatives for pure water too drink as he found it rather difficult to down that. But he'd have to drink more to get rid of the damn nausea.

McKay came wandered into the mess hall when Sheppard had just sat on a lonely table in the back with a glass of juice. Rodney didn't notice him at first but after he'd piled his breakfast onto his tray and was looking for a table he saw him.

"Well, well. Who's this? Have you decided to return to the land of living?"

"Good morning to you, too, Rodney!"

"Oh, yes. Good morning. So, do you feel like telling where you've been yesterday?"

"I've been sleeping in my quarters and as Teyla told me, I must've slept 24 hours longer than expected."

"No you haven't!"

"What?"

"You haven't been in your quarters yesterday. We checked on the life signs detector."

"You did what?"

"Oh my god. It happened before. To General O'Neill. He was cloned by an Asgard. Major, are you feeling quite yourself?"

"Stop it McKay! I don't think an Asgard had me beamed up."

"You wouldn't know that. I have to talk to Elizabeth…"

"Relax McKay. I haven't been in my quarters. I lied."

"You… what?"

"Listen McKay. I just needed to be somewhere else. Just don't ask where and please don't tell anyone."

Rodney was silenced for the moment thinking about what John had just said.

"So … um … no Asgards?"

"No."

"Ok. I won't tell anybody about it. But what are you going to tell the others?"

"I haven't figured that out yet." John stared at his glass at which he had no more than nipped a few times. So forget about alternatives, he thought. "I'm going back to my quarters now. I'll be there I promise. You can check me up on the LSD if you worry about Asgards beaming me away but I don't want to be disturbed." With that he stood noticing a sharp pain around his navel which he chose to completely ignore and left. "Yeah, that's right. Just lock yourself in your room again just after we've found out you're still here!" McKay called after him as he left.

Walking made the pain worse but Sheppard was hoping it was just the empty stomach rebelling. But for now he was just unable to eat. Entering his quarters he headed straight for his bed and laid down hoping that it would pass eventually. But he began to realise that it was all a vicious circle. As long as he wouldn't eat, the pain would stay and as long as he wouldn't drink the nausea would stay but he couldn't keep anything down feeling as if he'd have to throw up any minute.

Now and then he tried to nip at the water on his bedside table but he wasn't really able to drink much. In addition to his other problems he began to feel hot. The pain was no longer lingering around his navel but seemed to have travelled further down which lead John to the conclusion that it might not be his stomach.

Although the pain was different from the pain he felt while having broken rips he was reminded of his last time in the infirmary. The memory alone made him shudder but through all the negative images and sensations he also remembered salvation from pain through drugs. The pain he was in right now almost made him wish to be given a pain reliever. But John knew that there was no way he was going to get some without dooming himself to a long-term imprisonment in the infirmary. So no option.

Trying to distract himself from the pain he remembered something else: Dr. Beckett sitting at his bedside looking truly sorry. John couldn't remember what exactly he had said but he remembered what he'd been sorry for and he was far from forgiving him. Defenceless as he'd been Beckett hadn't respected his wish to be left alone and had just operated on him.

He'd taken every bit of his control John had had even after surgery. Ok, he had to be fair. Beckett had been willing to release him. Dr. Weir was to be blamed for his imprisonment after that. Thinking about it he actually had to admit that Beckett had tried his best to make him as comfortable as possible.

John felt his determination weakening as the pain got from worse to unbearable. He slowly began to realise that Dr. Beckett was probably the one who could help him out. The negative picture of the Scottish Doctor became blurry and he began to see the positive picture clearlier.

But the feeling of helplessness was still tangible and he wasn't sure whether he'd be able to stand another stay in the infirmary with all those needles and terrible stuff.

He also remembered the pain he was in when he got back through the gate and that it wouldn't have gotten better without Dr. Becketts help. He suddenly realised that he had saved his life that day by rushing him to the surgery and he understood. He was not the one in need of an apology he was the one who had to apologise to the Doctor.

Having made his decision Major Sheppard tried to rise from his bed. Raw pain ripped through his body when he moved. He was barely able to stand on his legs and collapsed back on his bed. He had to admit that he was in no condition to walk to the infirmary by himself. But John was not a man to reconsider a decision he'd made. He grabbed the radio from his bedside table and activated it.

"Dr. Beckett this is Major Sheppard, please come in."

"Aye. What can I do for you, Major?" he sounded a bit surprised at first but the professionalism took over immediately.

"I know I have to work out a few issues with you but for now I have to admit that I could use your help."

"Where are you Major and what is it exactly I can help you with?"

"In my quarters. A hell of a stomach ache."

"I'm on my way Major."

Dr Beckett was more than worried about the call. If the Major was calling for his help himself he must be in a really bad shape. He grabbed a gurney, a nurse and a few supplies and hurried towards the Majors' quarters.

In front of the doors he hesitated. Carson had a medical access code for almost every door but he wasn't sure whether he should use it so he decided to knock on the door.

"Major Sheppard?"

A rather strained voice answered. "Feel free to enter cause I'm not going to open the door!"

Carson used his code and the door opened. Inside he found a sweaty, pale Major on his bed his face contorted with pain. Coming closer he already had a suspicion.

"Major, you need to show me where exactly it hurts."

John circled his hand over his abdomen. "Everywhere below!"

"Since when?"

"I don't know. Some time in the morning."

"If I remember correctly you're still in possession of you appendix, right?" John only nodded in response. "Was the pain different when it started and if so, how?"

"It was located around the navel when I first felt something."

Hesitantly Carson reached for the shirt covering the Majors' belly. "May I?" John just nodded. As the Doctor pulled up his shirt the nurse came over and took his temperature. Again the feeling of being at someone's mercy hit with a full vengeance. But he tried to focus on the conclusion he'd come to earlier.

"Major, I'm afraid I'll have to palpate your abdomen for the exact points of pain because I'm suspecting appendicitis and we're probably not having enough time to test your blood."

"Do what you have to do, Doc."

Slowly and carefully Dr. Beckett pressed knowingly the right places. Every time he hit a hot spot Sheppard hissed in pain.

"Alright Major. I'm sure enough it's appendicitis. I'll have to operate on you."

Somehow John knew it would come to this and he'd feared it. But then he remembered his first visit to Beckett's infirmary. The sensible way he had talked John into staying. Switching back to the present he saw those caring eyes watching him, waiting for an answer.

"I trust you, Doctor." He said. "Do whatever is necessary to cure this."

Carson smiled a relieved smile. "That's it, lad. Now I'm giving you a light sedative to make the ride to the infirmary easier for you." While Carson prepared the syringe the nurse activated her radio asking a team to prepare for surgery.

Still having a hard time controlling his fear he watched Carson punctured his skin with the needle. He hoped the Doctor wouldn't notice him trembling slightly or discarding it as a reaction to the pain in the stomach. But he did notice and after removing the needle he squeezed Johns shoulder and smiled reassuringly. The Major was grateful and eased up a bit. This was the first time he actually submitted to medical attention instead of fighting it.

"Now let's get you onto the gurney before it kicks in, Major."

With the help of the nurse and Beckett John slid over onto the lowered gurney already beginning to feel sleepy. He barely noticed himself being fastened to the gurney and transported to the infirmary. Somewhere on the way he fell asleep not having to witness the preparation for surgery.

For the first time in his life John Sheppard woke up in an infirmary without thinking first of all how to escape. The crappy feeling however that always came along with being in the infirmary was all the same. During the next hours he only woke up occasionally and he never stayed conscious for very long.

Finally he woke up not feeling too sleepy to actually stay awake. Feeling thirsty he looked around for the nurse calling button. It felt weird to use it as he had always avoided anyone coming for him. A few minutes later a nurse came over to his bed.

"You called Major Sheppard?"

"Yes, I did. I'm a bit thirsty and I guess you guys don't want me to get up to get a drink myself."

"Of course not." She carefully raised him to a half sitting position and gave him a glass of water. "Here. But not too much at once or you'll be throwing up."

He took the glass and did as instructed. "Yeah, why is it, that I haven't been throwing up this time anyway?"

"Not all patients vomit after a general anaesthesia and if they do it doesn't happen every time."

"So I got lucky this time?"

She just smiled at him and took the glass out of his hand. "I'll leave you the glass and a bottle of water. Dr. Beckett is going to see you soon." She said and left John alone.

John felt uncomfortable. He wasn't looking forward to meeting the Doctor again. He knew he had to apologise and he hated apologising. He wasn't good at it. But he knew when he owed one to someone and wasn't going to duck out of it.

"Good morning Major. How are you feeling today?" Dr. Beckett had arrived at his bed.

"A lot better than before."

"I have to say that you called me just in time. Your appendix was about to blow."

"So I'll join the club of appendix-less?"

"Aye. But I believe you know that it was useless anyway."

"Yeah." He hesitated shortly but he knew he had to do this so he continued. "Listen Beckett, I really appreciate what you have done for me."

"I'm a doctor. This is my job."

"Yeah, I know that. But when I lay in my quarters I realised that I wasn't that grateful before and I would like apologise for my previous behaviour in the infirmary. You didn't deserve that."

"Oh no, Major. I did deserve that. I should have been more sympathetic to you. I should have known…"

"No, Beckett. What you did saved my life and I had no reason to be angry with you. Now stop feeling guilty because it makes me feel guilty that I made you feel guilty."

"How about forgiving each other and we both stop feeling guilty."

"I could live with that."

"It's settled then." Carson extended his hand and John took it.

"I'll never feel at ease in an infirmary, you know. But trusting the man being responsible for my health makes me feel a lot better."

The Doctor smiled and turned to leave. "So call me if you need anything, Major."

"I will, Doc, I will!"

THE END

So this is the last part of 'fear of needles'. For now I'm rather exhausted but you'll never know when I'll be suddenly inspired to write another story which is most likely going to be based on the events of 'fear of needles'.

Oh and I know Sheppard had an appendicits in a lot of Fanfics but it was just the right illness for mine. So I hope you didn't mind.

Thank you all for reading!