A/N: This chapter was probably the one I had the most fun with. It's not as long as the first one, but I hope it's just as entertaining. Hope you like it. ^-^
Fire, Water, Grass, and the Fourth Wall
"…well, that gratification wore away fast," Tiku commented as he fidgeted with the Poké Ball that now contained Makuhita. "You'd think that catching the first Shadow Pokémon would've felt more…significant. More memorable."
Lili sighed and dipped her fingers into the water of the fountain in the center of the city. "Look, all that matters is that you caught the stupid thing, right?" Meaning we're one more step closer to finishing the plot and one more step closer to kicking Cat's butt for this whole mess."
"I don't think this is Cat's doing."
Lili glanced at him. "What? Of course this is Cat's doing. Who else could it be? She's the only one with enough power over us to force us into this."
Tiku ran his fingers through his hair and looked Lili right in the eyes, his face nothing but seriousness. "I'm not kidding. A few nights before she started typing the prologue, I heard her yelling at someone to get out of her head. A few minutes later, I saw a man with a huge red-and-white afro running away from the house."
Lili's eyes widened as she replied, "So you're saying…someone's controlling Cat?"
"It's just a theory."
"So what do we do?"
"We go with it for now – until we can confirm what's happening, we can't let her know we've caught on to anything suspicious." Tiku pulled some sheets of paper out of his jacket pocket and began leafing through them. "So let's just go back to the humorous game-bashing and plot-mongering, shall we?"
Lili looked at the papers over Tiku's shoulders. "What's all of this?"
"Cat's author notes," Tiku replied with a grin.
"Are you crazy? Tiku, where did you get those?" Lili hissed. "We can't keep breaking the fourth wall like this, we'll get in trouble!"
"Relax, Lili, wouldja?" Tiku teased. "She doesn't even know these are missing – and even if she does, she's such a scatterbrain that she'll think she lost them, and she'll re-print them from the documents saved on her computer." Tiku handed a couple sheets to Lili. "See? Cat printed these directly off the Internet, and from some of her favorite sites."
"Serebii?" Lili rubbed the ink logo with her finger. "Oh, it's a game walkthrough."
"She's got printouts from at least three different sites. This one's from GameFAQS, this one's from Poké Dream, and the one you're holding is from Serebii."
"…All right," Lili said as she handed the papers back.. "So, before we get in trouble, what are we supposed to do now?"
"Well, there are three exits to the city, and each one's blocked off by a guard." Tiku stood up and pointed south. "According to Cat's notes, that guy has a Shadow Croconaw. The guy west of has a Shadow Bayleef, and that guy in the red over there has a Shadow Quilava."
"In other words, we have the chance to capture the evolved form of one of the Johto Starters."
"Exactly." Tiku stuffed the papers back in his pocket and began walking. "Come on, Lili."
"Where are you going?"
"To catch the Croconaw. Where else?"
Lili grabbed his arm. "I thought you would go after Quilava."
Tiku raised an eyebrow. "Why would I do that?"
"Because Quilava's awesome."
"Lili, I'm a Water Mage. Fire Pokémon just aren't my type, if you'll excuse the pun."
"But Croconaw's so…primal and barbaric. And its evolved form is downright ugly." Lili began pulling Tiku towards the east exit of town. "Quilava's not only a powerful fighter, but he's so cute and fluffy as well!"
"You'd never say that about Typhlosion."
"Don't have to! Quilava's enough for me!"
A sweatdrop appeared on the red-suited guy's brow as he reached for a walkie-talkie. "Hey, Verde, Bluno…are you two seeing this as well?" he inquired of his comrades as they watched the two break into a full-blown argument.
The blue guy responed. "Sure am, Rosso."
"These two are the ones the Boss is worried about?" The green guy asked, not believing what he was seeing.
"Apparently the girl can distinguish Shadow Pokémon from ordinary Pokémon, and the young man can capture them and purify them." The red guy, Rosso, flinched as the boy and the girl simultaneously pushed each other into the fountain.
"So what are they arguing about?" the green guy asked.
"From what I can tell, Verde," the blue guy said, "they're arguing about which one of us to target. I guess they can only capture one Pokémon, meaning they have to choose between the three."
"Can you hear what they're saying, Bluno?" Rosso asked.
"Um…it seems like the boy wants my Croconaw, while the girl wants your Quilava," the blue guy, Bluno, replied.
The green guy, Verde, burst into passionate tears of manliness. "Nobody respects the Grass Types anymore. There was a time, so long ago, that Grass Types were respected and feared in the Pokémon Kingdom!" he cried, jumping onto a nearby fence and posing dramatically as he continued with his speech. "With powerful spores blowing in the wind, leaves as sharp as a Groudon's fangs slicing and dicing, and vines that wrapped and suffocated the life out of – "
"For the love of Arceus," Rosso and Bluno yelled into their talkies at the same time, " KNOCK OFF THE SPEECHES!"
"…Sorry," Verde muttered as he climbed down from the fence to hide in a corner and have an existential crisis.
"Last time I checked, I was the one holding the Poké Balls, Lili!" Tiku sputtered as the two climbed out of the fountain. "That means I get to decide!"
"That's a load of garbage, and you know it!" Lili yelled as her feet landed on the bricks. "If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be able to see which Pokémon were the Shadow ones! I deserve to decide!"
"So what if you can see a glowy purple aura? You're the one who pushed me in the fountain and destroyed Cat's author notes!"
Espeon and Umbreon just sat on the cement, watching them argue. They shared a glance, then they looked away and sighed. This was hopeless…
"ENOUGH!" Tiku covered Lili's mouth with his hand. "Look, we're never gonna get anywhere just arguing back and forth like this. I say that we just go after the Grass Type. That way, it's fair for both of us. Okay?"
Lili paused for a second, then nodded.
"All right, now that we have that settled," Tiku said, uncovering Lili's mouth, "let's go catch us a Bayleef!"
"…maybe we should've just flipped a coin or something," Lili whispered to Tiku as they watched Verde having his existential crisis. "He looks kinda…pathetic."
Tiku whispered back, "This is the only fair compromise we can make that won't end with us resenting each other. Let's just talk to the guy and get the over with." Then louder, "Excuse me? Mr. Cipher Guy, sir?"
Verde's head snapped up as he looked at the two. "You've…you've come to challenge me for my Bayleef?"
"Um…yes?" Tiku answered, suddenly unsure of himself.
"YES!" Verde yelled as he jumped up, scaring the living daylights out of Tiku and Lili. "I KNEW IT! GRASS POKÉMON LIVE ON IN RESPECT AND ADMIRATION!"
"Um…yeah," Lili said as she backed away a little bit.
Verde struck a dramatic pose and pulled out three Poké Balls. "Then I, Verde of the Mystery Troop serving Miror B., hereby challenge you to a Pokémon Battle!"
(Ten minutes later, since Cat can't write fight scenes to save her life because she is a total failure…T-T )
Tiku tossed the Poké Ball holding Bayleef into the air and caught it again. "Thanks for the new teammate."
"And thank you," Verde replied, kneeling on the ground and bowing at his feet. "Please, tell me your name!"
"…Tiku…"
"Oh, mighty and powerful Tiku," Verde said dramatically as his eyes got all wet and shiny. "Thank you for bringing respect back to the Grass Pokémon! Train my Bayleef well and – "
"Holy Darkrai, will you shut up?" Rosso yelled as he and Bluno ran up. "These guys are our enemies! Ypou're not supposed to worship the ground they walk on!"
"Come on," Bluno said, grabbing the back of Verde's outfit and dragging him to a getaway van. "Our orders were to all run away if one of us got defeated!"
"Farewell, Tiku! Farewell, beautiful lady! Pray that we shall meet again!" Verde yelled as the door slammed shut and the van drove away.
Lili and Tiku just stood there, not knowing how to react or what to say.
"Tiku, what in the name of Palkia just happened?"
"I…I have no idea, Lili…"
