Carolyn woke up to a chilly Christmas morning. There were no carolers outside and her velvet dressing gown was a memory. The room felt...solitary was the best word she could come up with, like there should be someone else there. She knew who that someone else was, that dream she'd had last night was a testament to him. She lingered in bed for a few moments thinking about that kiss, it had felt so real. It was a disappointment to wake up. Her thoughts were invaded by the knocks of two excited children on her bedroom door.
"C'mon, mom, it's Christmas!" and "Hurry up, mom; Santa was here!" both children spoke over each other.
Carolyn smiled and put on her bathrobe. It was Christmas morning in 1969 and two insistent children wanted to open presents, dwelling on a dream wasn't going to provide her a very merry Christmas. She opened the door and bent down to hug and kiss both her children.
"Ready to see what Santa brought you?" Her question was answered by them taking off and being halfway down the stairs before she could mutter, "I'll take that as a yes." She followed them down to the parlor, pausing long enough to wish Martha a Merry Christmas.
There was a knock at the door; Martha opened it to a shocking scene. Claymore was standing there, a turkey in one arm and a Christmas tree in the other. He was enthused with Christmas cheer, "merry, merry, merry Martha, you dazzling creature!" he greeted her with.
Incredulous, but suspicious, Martha honed in on her best guess, "Have you been imbibing, Claymore?"
"Not so much as a noggin! Look, meet a friend," he said as he referenced the turkey in his left arm. "Hi, Mrs. Muir!" he called into the parlor. Carolyn stopped the present opening before it could start and came out to the foyer to wish Claymore a Merry Christmas.
She was amazed by Claymore's state of being, "what are you doing with that tree?" was all she could manage to say.
"I know you said you couldn't afford it Mrs. Muir, so it is a gift from Claymore Gregg with love to all the Christmas Muirs."
"Oh, that's very nice."
"Besides, I couldn't sell it anyway." Of course, Carolyn reflected to herself. Claymore changed direction, "Martha, take my friend to the kitchen, please?" he said as he handed her the turkey. Martha took it, still amazed by Claymore's behavior.
"Don't tell me that's a goose," asked Carolyn; not really sure if she wanted to know the answer or not.
"Close, it's a 25 pound turkey."
"Claymore, you're not yourself."
"I know, delightful, aren't I?"
"Claymore, have you been imbibing?" was Carolyn's last ditch attempt at trying to explain his odd way of being today.
"What is wrong with everyone this morning? First her, now you; it's Christmas, that's all!" Carolyn couldn't argue with that. Claymore called into the parlor, "Kids, get my presents together, here comes Uncle Claymore!" Carolyn just shook her head at the Christmas miracle and watched him enter the parlor with childlike enthusiasm. She'd never seen him so happy to be in this house.
Martha warily came out of the kitchen, "Mrs. Muir, strange Claymore showing up this morning. Now, I know you won't believe this but I had the strangest dream last night. We were living a hundred years ago, Captain Gregg was alive, and Claymore was just as giddy as he is now. That'll teach me to eat two pieces of mince pie before I go to sleep." She went back into the kitchen, oblivious to the bomb she had just dropped.
Carolyn was stunned motionless. Martha had the dream too? How was that possible? It was just a nice dream she had had, wasn't it? Of course it was, how could it be anything else? Just because Martha happened to dream she was living in Victorian times last night as well didn't mean anything. Did it?
Confused, Carolyn wandered into the parlor and sank into a chair against the wall. Claymore and the kids were babbling about their own Christmas dreams. She listened, surprised by their experiences of the night before. The more she heard, the more a feeling blossomed in her heart. A very happy warmth surrounded her soul as the full implications of the dream became clear. Everyone had a story to share, which meant that everyone had been there. That could only mean that one person had orchestrated everything. If this was his Christmas that could never come true, and she had to presume that it was; it was a beautiful gift. Her heart was at odds; the sadness of their reality was tempered by the fact that he had had them engaged. She'd had no idea that his feelings for her were that strong. For him to make such a bold declaration, even in a dream, was a risk; it overwhelmed her.
The effusive conversation was halted by the Captain popping in, "Claymore, did you enjoy your Christmas?"
Startled, as always, by the Captain, Claymore slipped a little back to his usual self, 'Merry Christmas," he managed by way of greeting his uncle, "as a matter of fact Captain, I did. I had a great deal of money and some perfectly dreadful gruel."
"Man does not live by gruel alone," the Captain responded.
The light bulb went on in Claymore's head, "you! You did it!" The Captain did not deny the obvious conclusion.
Candy's wistful thinking was voiced, "I wish I could have that dream every night."
The Captain knelt down to talk to the kids, "I'm afraid it would be like having too many Christmas dinners, indigestible. I wanted to give you all something for Christmas, but there was nothing I could give you, except a dream."
"I wish it was real," Jonathan piped in. You and me both Carolyn thought.
"Dreams never are. Pity, they can be lovely only while they last." He glanced at Carolyn and she met his gaze. Everyone else could be reflecting on toys, trees or turkeys; but the moments they had shared in the dream were poignant. They now had a secret and neither was sure what the other was thinking. The inherent sadness of their situation was brought into sharper focus and Carolyn was out of sorts trying to decide if they were better off before the dream or not. This was the Captain's Christmas that could never come true and now she understood why it would always remain just a dream. The Captain was once again silently cursing their fate, it was a cruel trick for them to be together, yet always be apart. He realized the bitter irony that she was the woman of his dreams, literally. Other people could use that hackneyed phrase as a meaningless platitude; but for them, the dream world was their only hope to express the full realm of their feelings for each other.
Their musings were invaded by Candy, "Mother, in the dream you and the Captain were engaged."
Carolyn broke away from the Captain in shock. Trust Candy to hone in on the impossible romance. How was she going to navigate this minefield? Delicately, she supposed. She gathered herself to answer, "Sweetie, some things are possible only in dreams." There; that was nice, safe, and not open to any more questions. She hoped. She avoided looking at the Captain, there were too many questions running through her head, so she decided distraction was her best option, "isn't it time to open presents?"
"Yes!" came Jonathan's enthusiastic response. Candy wasn't quite so enthusiastic; she wasn't quite satisfied with her mother's answer. Secretly she was hoping that an engagement in a dream would lead to a wedding in their day world. Seeing the look on her mother's face she could see she wasn't going to get any further comment on the subject so she threw herself into opening presents.
Martha came in from the kitchen just in time to see the kids tear into their gifts. The Captain made himself invisible to Martha, but didn't disappear completely; he certainly didn't want to miss out on the fun. Carolyn smiled as she watched the kids' faces light up with Christmas joy, but her mind was distracted. The kids flew through the present opening in record time and settled in to play with their new toys.
All morning Carolyn attempted to put the dream out of her mind and focus on Christmas. She wasn't successful, her head was spinning. He kissed her. Her thoughts kept returning to that one moment. What did it mean for them? Could they go back to what their relationship was before? Did she want to go back? Had their relationship been changed irrevocably? Could she just ignore it, pretend the kiss never happened? HAD the kiss actually happened? It was a dream, lost in the morning light.
Did she like the kiss? Stupid question, of course she liked the kiss. She remembered the touch of his hand as he'd stroked her back. She sighed involuntarily and turned to the windows. Realizing she was now facing the porch she shook her head and silently chastised herself for looking in the one direction she should have banned herself from. This was definitely not the Christmas morning she was expecting. There were too many questions. Would she go back there again if she could? Another stupid question, she'd go in a heartbeat.
Then of course there was the whole matter of being engaged. Engaged; not just dating, engaged. He had to have a reason behind that. Was the dream a proposal? And if it was, just how would that work? She briefly wondered why he didn't just throw all caution to the wind and have them married. She brought her hand to her forehead, she was exasperated and getting a headache. It was time to put a stop to these thoughts, she decided to join the kids on the floor and distract herself by playing with them. She knew the Captain was watching her and she hoped that for once he wouldn't be able to gauge her mood.
The Captain noticed the turmoil on her face and the discomfiture in her being from across the room; but wasn't exactly sure what she was thinking. He'd crossed several lines last night. Would she be angry? Happy? Scared? There was no way to know. He didn't think he detected anger; but if she were angry she would hide it so the children's Christmas wouldn't be spoiled. So the fact that he didn't see it wasn't a good barometer. She didn't seem blissfully happy either though. He tried not to read too much into that as well, it could only be that she was trying to cover that up too. She was an enigma this morning. Truth to be told, he was a little disappointed. Deep down he had hoped she would be beaming this morning; but perhaps he had been expecting too much. He didn't dwell on this, if last night didn't work, there was always another tack to try.
Unbeknownst to each other they had both come to the same conclusion; at some point very soon they were going to have a very important discussion.
Soundtrack to this story:
"Jingle Bells" by Jo Stafford
"Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer" by Burl Ives
"I'll Be Home For Christmas" by Bing Crosby
"O Come All Ye Faithful" by Al Martino
"Deck the Halls" by Nat King Cole
"O Holy Night" performed by a Rita Ford music box
"God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" by Bing Crosby
"The First Noel" performed by a Rita Ford music box
"I Saw Three Ships" Choral arrangement
"Silent Night" by Bing Crosby
Still searching for more choral pieces to substitute in for "Silent Night" and "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" and an instrumental version of "I Saw Three Ships".
