Never had the word 'haunted' jumped to the front of her mind as quickly as it had during this case. Every time she had looked at Mulder, his eyes held that same dimness, as if his mind was somewhere so far away, nothing could ever get it back. It was a deep personal hurt. It didn't take anything more than common sense to know why he was reacting in such a way, but she hated to shove him into the box of "Poor Mulder Lost His Sister And Now He Can't Think About Anything Else." She owed him more than that. She knew him better than that. He wasn't just projecting on his own experience. He was being human. A big no-no at the FBI, but when did Mulder ever follow the rules?
He wasn't just thinking about what happened to Ruby. He was worried about what would happen to Kevin. He was trying to be the investigator he had always wanted working on his sister's case. The one who never gave up. The one who cared about him as a victim, and not as a witness. He was trying to get justice for Ruby, for Samantha, but also for Kevin and for himself.
She found herself strolling along the mall on her lunch break. She had meant to walk to the diner for some food, but had gotten lost in her own head and was now blocks from where she should be. Mulder had gone out too, and she wondered where he was. He had left almost a half hour before she had, and she assumed he was back already.
Despite her hunger, she turned around and headed back to the bureau, trying to figure out a way to sneak Mulder's regression tapes into her briefcase so she could listen to them at home. Maybe it was a breach of privacy, and he would hate her if he knew, but she felt like it was a wise decision in the long run.
She made it back to the bureau and down to the basement on autopilot. She didn't even really remember walking there, and she half-chuckled as she considered telling Mulder she had lost time.
The smile faded off of her face when she walked into the office and saw him sitting there. He smelled slightly of the outside air and incense and she wondered if he had been in a church. He was leaned back in his chair, his fingers steepled under his chin in thought, and to the untrained eye, he might even look relaxed. But she knew better.
A second glance revealed that his eyes had been red, but were slowly fading into pink. His jaw was set in a hard line, and instead of having his feet propped up on the desk, they were firmly planted on the ground.
She couldn't think of anything to say, so she just walked by and squeezed his shoulder before sitting down in her chair on the other side of the desk. The small touch seemed to reanimate him and he sat up a little straighter, shuffling through some papers until he found the file he was looking for.
"I received this anonymously today," he began, sliding some glossy images towards her. "I thought you might like to take a look."
"This is disgusting."
"I am proud of how far your adjective use has come," he teased.
"Mulder, this woman has her arm growing out of her stomach."
"Not true. That is her arm, yes. But it was cut off of her body and then attached to her stomach."
"Why?"
"That is what we are going to find out."
"You think this is some kind of aliens playing doctor thing?" she asked standing up and sliding into her jacket again as they headed out the door.
"I'm thinking cultists. Or a ritual sacrifice of some kind."
"Or maybe a good old fashioned lunatic?"
"You're thinking too small Scully. Too small."
She smiled a little has his hand found that spot on her back and he guided her into the elevator. She felt that she finally understood his obsession. In his mind, he knew he would probably never see his sister again. But he needed to do something, just in case. Just in case one little thing would lead to something else, that might open another door, and maybe, just maybe, if he was lucky, he would get a miracle.
She shoved her hands in her pocket and crossed her fingers for him, vowing to do her part.
