Author's Note: (Get ready for an intense and emotional conversation between RebelCaptain! 3 Enjoy!)
Chapter 4: Heart's Moment of Truth
It was the end of the night. It was silent at dinner, for Jyn and Cassian refused to speak a single word to each other the entire time. To Jyn, it was shocking for her to hear those powerful words being said from her Captain's mouth. That caused Jyn to be in deep thought from dinner all the way to bed time. Jyn wanted to refrain from saying anything to Cassian….
…..until she appeared at her bedroom's doorway.
Noticing that they both were dressed and ready for bed, Jyn saw that Cassian was sitting on his side of the bed. He was mesmerized on a photo of every member of their Rogue One unit taken the day prior to their mission on Scarif. He kept the photo in his wallet, so that he felt that Chirrut, Baze, K-2SO, Bodhi, and Jyn were with him every second of every day. Jyn couldn't keep her eyes off Cassian's back. She didn't smile. She only had a concerned, blank poker face. Her arms were crossed and she was leaning against the door, which meant she wasn't in a content mood, not after what Cassian just declared a couple of hours earlier…
Jyn decides to pluck up the courage and takes a few steps into the bedroom. Her heart raced with every step. She was growing nervous.
"….Why me?" Jyn asks out of nowhere, causing Cassian to look up from his photo and turn around to look at her.
"W….What?" Cassian asks confusingly.
"WHY ME!?" Jyn asks more loudly this time, sounding just about aggressive. This causes Cassian's heart to rise up in his throat and cause the tightening feeling.
"What do you mean?" Cassian asks with furrowed brows.
Jyn frowns. "All of a sudden you say you love me…..why now? After what we've just been through…" She tells Cassian in a soft voice, but it sounds as if she was hurt from the inside.
At that exact moment, Cassian wanted to answer, but he couldn't. He could not find the words. He only shifted his eyes and head to look down at the floor in dismay. Jyn watched him, and she decided to carry on.
"You barely even know me." Jyn mentions, shaking her head slightly. Still, no answer from Cassian.
"You were the one who got me into that whole mess!" Jyn exclaims loudly, startling Cassian. "It was great that we fought in a war and we sent the Death Star plans together and gave peace to the galaxy…..but us….I don't know about us, Cassian."
"What did you think was going to happen? Hm?" Cassian suddenly spoke, surprising Jyn and causing her to blink her eyes.
"What!?" Jyn says, feeling jumped at.
Cassian looks up at her, dead straight into her emerald green eyes. "Even if we did survive Scarif, for real,….how did you think things were going to turn out? I told you three days ago, Jyn…if you completed that mission with us, you were free to go."
There was a moment of silence between them. Jyn keeps her eyes in contact with Cassian's eyes.
"So?" She says.
"Tell me, Jyn. Why did you participate in the mission? Who were you doing it for?" Cassian begins inquiring Jyn.
Jyn blinks her eyes in confusion. "WHAT?" She exclaims loudly after crossing her arms.
"Were you doing it for the Rebellion? Were you doing it for the galaxy? Were you just doing it for your father? Or were you just doing it….." Cassian pauses for a second, then finishes. "…..for me?"
Jyn's jaw drops. She felt offended, and she felt like slapping Cassian for that. "HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME LIKE THAT!" Jyn yells at her Captain.
"Then what was that hug at the beach!?" Cassian says, raising his voice. Though, he didn't want to raise it too high as to not irritate Jyn further.
"T-that…that was…" Jyn struggles to find an answer.
"That was what!?" Cassian asks.
"I DON'T KNOW!" Jyn yells, clenching her fists. She felt anger pumping through her veins and with every breath. She was giving Cassian a furious look now.
Cassian sighs and looks away again down at the floor.
Jyn sighs as well and shakes her head. She crosses her arms again. "Why are we here, Cassian?"
Cassian shrugs his shoulders. "I-It was meant to be."
"You mean us!?" Jyn exclaims. "You know, Andor, I had every chance to kill you…"
"What?" Cassian says while still not looking at her. He only had a puzzled facial expression.
"You read my file, right?" Jyn says in a serious tone. "I came from a former Imperial family. I'm a farmer. Both of my parents are dead. I was abandoned at fifteen. I grew up around weaponry. I taught myself to fight. I stole Imperial documents. I forged Imperial documents. I've cheated. I've lied. I've been arrested countless times. I was dragged through streets and dirt. I had blasters pointed at me. I've been a prisoner. I was a former criminal. I am a reckless woman, Cassian Andor." Jyn explains. It was that moment that she felt both of her eyes stinging because tears were close to bursting from them, due to the way she described herself. "I'VE BEEN THROUGH HELL, CASSIAN!" Jyn yells angrily despite the tears attempting to burst from her eyes.
Cassian remains silent.
Jyn bites her lips in an attempt to suppress her tears. "And here you come along. You turned me into a Rebel. A criminal turned Rebel. Do you realize who you were with the entire time, Cassian!?" Jyn asks with a raised voice. Tears were at the edge of bursting. Cassian still remains quiet while feeling some shame.
"I'M JUST AS DANGEROUS AS ANY STORMTROOPER IN THE GALAXY! I'M NOT A WOMAN YOU SHOULD BE WITH!" Jyn screams out angrily, with the tears finally bursting from her eyes. The tears dripped down her cheeks like rainfall.
It was that exact moment that Cassian slammed the photo of Rogue One down on his bedside table as hard as he could, and stood up on both feet off from the bed. He pointed at Jyn, and his face now held a very serious expression. "THAT IS NOT TRUE…" He declares with a clear, serious voice.
Jyn looks up at Cassian from the other side of their bedroom through her tears. "Really? Then tell me. Why did we deserve this second chance, and not the others?"
Cassian takes some steps closer to her so that he is now just a few feet from her. "Because I…I wanted it to start perfectly."
Jyn gives Cassian a half furious and half sad facial expression with tears in her eyes and tear trails wet on her cheeks. "IT!? WHAT IS 'IT', CASSIAN!? WHAT IS 'IT' THAT WE ARE!?" She yells at him.
"I may not have trusted you at first, but I judged you well in the end, and I knew you had good heart in you. You know I trust you now." Cassian assures her with a calm tone.
Jyn glares at Cassian. "Yeah….like how you did not trust me with my blaster on day one? Like how you deceived me, and lied to me, about killing MY father. Yeah, talk about trust…"
Cassian shakes his head. "I was ordered to, but I chose not to kill him, Jyn! Remember what you told me? Trust goes both ways." He reminds her.
Jyn looks down at the floor and sniffles. She doesn't attempt to wipe away her tears before looking back up at Cassian. "Why? Why do you love me? Why do you truly love me, out of anyone else in the entire galaxy?" She asks with a calm tone this time.
Cassian thought about it for a moment. It was a good question, Cassian thought. He knew what to say.
"Because….you were meant to be my Stardust." He quietly declares.
Jyn still stares at Cassian through tears, but she remains silent, indicating that she was willing to listen, thus allowing Cassian to continue.
"I lost my family at a very young age. My whole life, I had this void in my soul that I thought would never fill…..until I met you, Jyn." Cassian states, causing Jyn to stare up at him with a more confident face. "You're everything I wished for…and only you can fill that void. Both of us can fill our voids now. We need to fight back this suffering, and move forward TOGETHER."
Jyn glances to the side for a split second, then returns her teary glare to Cassian.
"But-" Jyn begins before being cut off by Cassian.
"Jyn. If Rogue One was here with us right now, this is what they would happily wish for us. There is no shame in that. From up there….they are with us every step of the way, believe it or not. And I'm very sure that your mother and your father would've been so proud of you. They would want the best for their only daughter, their only child."
More tears burst from Jyn's eyes. She tries to blink them away, but the tears were too abundant.
"Only Stardust can fill the hole in my heart..." Cassian declares with the most confident and enthusiastic tone Jyn has ever heard from him. Cassian steps closer to her so that he was standing right in front of her. He looked down at her, and she looked up at him through the tears.
Cassian whispers. "You're my reckless Rebel….you're my Sergeant…..YOU…..are meant to be my true love."
Cassian places his hands on Jyn's shoulders gently. Noticing him do so, she allows him to touch her now that her mood has begun to chill to a much calmer level.
"Because, Jyn Erso, I miss you….I want you….I need you….I love you….." Cassian whispers in her ear.
Jyn's lips began to form a very slight smile as the tears trickle down her face more slowly this time.
"….like crazy." Cassian finishes. He slowly wraps his arms around Jyn the same way he did on the beach in Scarif. It was like that for a very long moment. Then, Jyn wraps her arms around Cassian's waist, signifying that she did indeed trust him after all. She buries her wet, teary face into Cassian's warm chest where she feels his strong heartbeat under his muscular chest. She felt confident in him, and she felt that she could place her faith in him as he placed his faith in her. That sense of compassion and affection came from the Force, and they were one with it.
Jyn spoke with a muffled voice. "….I love you too, Captain."
It was that moment that Jyn 'Stardust' Erso and Cassian Jeron Andor were officially in love.
