Chapter 4

Escape


I think I fell asleep because I didn't hear them arrive. The first I knew that they had come back was the sudden pain as someone grabbed my hair and pulled me away from Floyd. I flailed my arms and tried to reach out and grab hold of him but they were too fast for me….my reactions were too slow.

"Stop it!" I shout out…and my sudden call starts up the usual bout of coughing and hacking and the spinning in my head as I struggle to breathe. I try to look at Floyd but the way they are dragging me away doesn't allow for it.

I can hear amongst the noise in the room a scraping dragging sound and then the sound of the door slamming shut….and they leave me laying on the floor the other side of the bed. Again I try to look at Floyd but now I see that he has gone.

"Oh god…no." I push to my hands and knees and slowly crawl over to the door. Gradually the coughing has died back…but I know that isn't necessarily a good thing. I can feel that I'm not getting enough air into my body. I can feel it getting weaker…and as I put myself up at the door I can feel I am shaking and my thoughts are not coming to me quick and sharp like I know they should be. I feel tired and sluggish…and I try to open the door but it's now my weakened condition stopping me from opening it…someone has locked it from the other side.

"Please let me out." I mutter…and hit at the door with my fists... "Please – what have you done to him? Let me out!"

But it's not until I realise that I have split the skin on my knuckles that I know that they are not listening to me. Slowly I slide to the floor and sit with my back to the wall. It will be dark soon...yes I have been here in the dark before…but Floyd lights a lantern…he stays here with me. This time I have a dread that I will be left here alone.

Slowly I start to bang the back of my head on the door. "Please…please don't leave me here in the dark." I whisper to myself. I look around the room and my sights rest on the boarded over window on the other side of the room, and I wonder if I can possibly get out. Escape…get help.

I can hear shouting and laughing….and crying…and I wonder what they are doing to him. He is meant to be my protector and I need to help him…he wouldn't be here if not for me.

Managing to stand on shaking legs I move in small shuffling steps to the other side of the room….in a way it is good to get away from the door….I don't have to listen to what they are doing to Floyd…I don't have to imagine the images to go with the sounds. I put a hand out and brush my fingers along the rough wall and finally to the window boards. At first I just rest my hands on them…then I give them a gentle shove. I don't want to suddenly break them off not knowing what is on the other side. I have to think carefully…decide what I am going to do if I do manage to get them off the window frame.

I lean my head forward and feel the cold coarse surface against my skin. I swallow and make a decision. I will die if I stay here…I will probably die if I try to get help…but at least I will die free. I curl my fingers around one of the pieces of wood and pull…

It cracks…its crunches…it pulls away quite easily though….I place the plank of wood on the floor and look at what I have done…not much really. Again I grab hold of some wood and pull…it snaps off easily enough and I place this on the floor too…I want to hurl it across the room and scream and curse at it…but I take a shuddering breath and start on the next…the light outside is a dull grey…It's been raining at some point and I can smell the freshness of the rainwater on the grass.

Another comes away and I place that too gently down to the side….and the gap is getting bigger…But I know I have to be careful…I know I need to make the space big enough so I don't put too much strain on my chest….I wonder briefly if this is going to kill me…just getting out of the stupid window…I imagine these guys finding me stuck half way out of the gap with my face blue and my limbs stiff…With a shudder I pull the next off….then the next…and now I think I can do it…Looking carefully I can see that the grass grows right up against the side of the cottage…so with my back to the window I put my hands on the frame and push up so I am sitting…I hold my breath and slide out backwards onto my back the grass.

And I can hear now…suddenly I can hear…

Laughter and joking and cries of pain. It sounds like they are doing to Floyd that which he has been doing to me for the past week or so….I've lost track of how long it's been now, and for a few minutes I just lay there in the grass trying to work out how to move …and how to get Floyd out. Rolling to my front get up onto my knees and look over to where the line of trees starts….I have no idea which way to go…I don't know how we got here…I can't remember…It makes me so damned angry that these things – these decisions are coming so hard to me! I want to kick and throw things with a temper which is slowly building up as I kneel in my pyjamas and listen to Floyds odd noises of distress.

Hotch…I have to find Hotch. He will help me. I know he will help me.

Slowly I stand and get my balance by placing my hand on the outside wall of the room I had been held in for so long….then carefully I begin to walk to the nearest tree…I have no idea if it is the right direction, but it is away from here…so it cant be too wrong.

-o-o-o-

The pain is like something I've not experienced for a while….I've been in pain before but this is all encompassing and not helped by the vomiting. I'm one my front…on my knees and elbows and I am being held in place by these fuckers…by name and nature….they are doing to me what they did to Spence, and I wonder if he was in this much pain…I think he may have been….but this is different…this is me….and shit…this is not something I want to have to repeat.

It's like this…

My back…it feels like it's been broken…I don't seem to have too much feeling in my legs…or hips…I want to fight this and cant…I'm held fast by these blokes and their fists and other various body parts. My joints…I need to keep trying to move…It feels as though my bones are going to explode and I want to move…but I can't…I have to lay here and feel what I think at first is my joints swelling and popping and swelling and popping….I try to move my fingers and I can…I can do that…but they don't hurt so much….its my shoulders and elbows…and I think probably my knees and hips too…if I could…if I could feel properly below the hips.

My breathing…It hurt…though I don't think as much as Spencer's does…this I think I can bypass and cure…maybe…I don't know…though I have a good idea what they have done to me…I can feel it. I can feel they have opened me up like a bottle of fizzy pop…and I can hear the bubbles popping in my ears as the darkened room spins out of control and my stomach evacuates again…

My brain…bang bang bang pop ARH! Yes…I know what they did to me…and I can't metabolise this too easily…so I try to struggle away from them as then come at me with their genitalia and force their dirty bodies into mine and I vomit and my bladder empties and they laugh at me and as I wriggle and fight and pull my arse away from them I see another empty needle coming my way.

"Keep still you motherfucker."

They snarl at me. Then they push me onto my side and I suddenly can kick and thrash and life if seeping back into my limbs as someone presses the side of my face into the floor.

"Your little lover is next."

"Bastards." I try to say….but the words are just in my head and don't come out of my mouth…I just make a strange whimpering noise that I don't like the sound of and then I feel the thing jabbing into the side of my neck again and as quickly as I started to feel I was winning…I am laying still again…with that blood pouring from my nose and bubbling from both ears and it sounds like I am five hundred foot under water and playing with the mermen.

-o-o-o-

I don't know how long it has been….I don't know how many days I have been hauling my self through the forest but when I reach the road I want to cry with relief.

My fear was at first that they would come after me and find me and then the pain would be unthinkable…now though my fear is for what they are doing to Floyd in my absence. The only way to save him…I know is to get out though…I can't help him against those people.

I have rags covering my body now…I am barefoot and covered in blood and scratches and bruises….I have vomited so much blood that you would think I would be an empty sack of skin by now. I run my fingers through my hair and try to make my self look a bit more respectable…not an easy task though…I realise that….I have to walk…I have to carry on until I can find a car to stop or a house to go to…and I know…yes I know I am a mess and people are going to assume I am escaped mad man….and in a way I probably am.

A lot of my journey has been spent on my knees crawling. My balance isn't too good right now…I think it might be blood loss. The continual taste of blood in my mouth makes me think I am bleeding internally again…as the day or days or weeks or however long it has been since I left the hospital have gone by it seems to have gotten harder to breath…a tight band of something around my chest pressing down and now – now I think I need to get help soon...

I rest at the side of the road for a while …sitting on the grass verge. There are no cars…this is a quiet place…I wonder if I fall back to the ditch behind me how long I will lay there rotting before I am found…Probably in the summer…when the joggers and cyclist are out…they will smell that sweet smell of decomp and report it…They will have to identify me by dental records…bits of me gone forever eaten by the local wild life….the thought gets me onto my feet again and walking….and it is about an hour later that I hear a car. The low rumble in the back ground and I fear the bile of fear rise in my throat as I don't know who will be in the car…but I can't afford not to flag it down…

If it is wrong…if it is a mistake…then I am not really any worse off…but I cannot afford to let it go by without trying. Slowly I move to the middle of the small road and face the way it seems to be coming from…and there it is…I can see the afternoon sun shining off the glass and chrome…and I stand and wave my arms in an attempt to look commanding and needy and harmless all at the same time.

"Please stop." I say….and the driver obviously cannot hear me…but it slows down…and I move to the side of the road and the small red SUV pulls to a stop next to me. The driver is a male of about fifty…and I attempt to smile at him. "Thank you." I mouth at him…and he cracks open the window a tiny amount. "Thank you." I say again…and my voice sounds strange and rough…"I don't suppose you have a cell phone you can call someone on for me do you?" I wouldn't ask for a lift.

He nods and pulls a pair of glasses out of his pocket and a small pistol out from under his seat. He puts the glasses on and the pistol he rests on his lap. I sigh and nod at him acknowledging the weapon…letting him know I can see it…the phone is then taken from his pocket and he looks over at me.

"Number and message." He snaps at me.

So I give him the number….and then say… "Just tell him Reid would like him to come and pick him up." I shrug. "I don't know where I am." Then I stand back and listen.

"Hi…I've been stopped in the middle of nowhere by someone called Reid….he's asked me to call you and get you to come get him." I see he is listening to the reply…and then I hear him give directions. The snaps the phone shut and then looks at me. "He will be about an hour. Says to wait here."

And I nod and smile at him. "Thank you."

He shakes his head and the window closes up again…he bends down and I assume he is replacing the gun…and then the vehicle moves away. I am left standing at the side of the road as the light dims…So I move and crouch at the edge of the road again and wait.

-o-o-o-

My stomach is twisting in panic….Reid ….I am going to get him…how he is where he is I will find out when I get there…I just hope it is just him.

And there he is…

My god he looks like he is going to drop dead. I pull up next to him and he sits on the grass just looking at me. I get out and walk around the car towards him….he is alone…and it is dark…I can see dampness in his huge hazel eyes…and my heart breaks…

"Spencer." He doesn't move…but carries on just looking at me and so I crouch down next to him and reach out a hand and touch him carefully on the arm. "Come with me Spencer." And he seems to pull out of wherever his mind was resting and he blinks at me.

"Hotch. You have to help me." And he leans forwards slightly and rests his head on my arm. I in turn lean forward and wrap my arms around this emaciated form and I can smell the dirt and sweat on him…and I can hear the roughness of his breaths.

"I'm here now Spencer. Come on…get in the car…I will take you home." But he moves back away from me and slowly shakes his head.

"I need your help." And he coughs and spits up what looks like blood.

I reach out for him again. "I will help you Reid….come with me." I try to smile but the look on his face is making it difficult.

"NO!" and more coughing… "You don't understand…I need you to get Floyd for me."

I stand up and look down at him as he tries to get his breath and coughs and spits into the grass. "You know where he is?"

And he looks up at me…his face grey…his lips lacking colour and he nods slowly. "I know where he is I think…Not exactly." More coughing. "He is in danger Hotch…you have to help him."

"So where is he?" I take a couple of steps back towards my SUV... "Is he alone?" And I watch Reid shake his head.

"We were – were….he is still there…You have to help him Hotch." And I find I am shaking my head.

"You are out of your mind Reid. You asked me out here to help you save Floyd?"

And he is nodding. "You have no idea what they are doing to him."

"I have a good idea…he probably is only getting what he is happy to deliver." I watch as Spencer struggles to his feet and stands swaying…

"I love him Hotch."

And I want to shake some sense into him…I want to hold him and care for him and show him what love really is…its not continual abuse…it's not anything Flanders can offer…I want to give him the care and attention he needs, but he wont let me.

I turn back to the car and I want to kick and punch it…and let out my frustrations on it! I want to just get back in the car and drive off…but a hand on my back stops me.

"Hotch please. They will kill him…they might already have…please help me…I can't do this alone."

So I turn to face him "He raped me Spencer." And I look at his face and his expression doesn't change.

"Please Hotch – Aaron…"

"Did you hear me? Reid he nearly killed me and you want me to launch a rescue attempt and save him?"

And he nods. "For me…not for him. I'm begging you Hotch…please help him."

I can feel I am shaking my head. "I can't! I can't Reid….not…not and then let him go…I will have to take him in…I will have to take him back…he will have to pay for what he did to me and to the nurse at the hospital."

And I watch Spencer nod.

"Just please Hotch…give him a chance."

And I am looking into those huge damp sad eyes and I am finding myself nodding. "As long as you are understand what I will have to do."

And he gives me one of his tight smiles. "Thank you."