A voice came over the loud speaker. "The People are fake, the cases are frivolous, the rulings are predictable. This is the courtroom of Judge Izumi Curtis…" it boomed and trailed off.

A strong, muscular man was wearing a khaki uniform standing beside an oak podium. "All rise for the honorable judge!" His voice rang out. His gruff exterior made him excellent for the job of Bailiff. His short beard lined his face and he looked as if he would be ready to kill anyone at any moment. His name was Siguar Curtis and he stood completely still as a woman walked across the room to the podium.

The woman was wearing one of those funny judge dress things, complete with a lacey collar. She had brown dreadlocks died back in a ponytail with just a few stragglers hanging in her face. Her skin was extremely pale, and her face stern. Her cold, black eyes pierced through the silence as she took a seat. "EVERYBODY SIT!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.

A boy about 4'11" was at a stand labeled "defendant" in front of Izumi. His long blonde hair was in a braid but his bangs still framed his face. He wore a red coat that extended to his kneed and a black leather outfit underneath. A silver chain connected from his pocket to his belt loop. His hands were covered with white gloves and his Amber eyes widened dramatically as he stared at the judge. He went by the name of Edward Elric, but was also commonly referred to as the Fullmetal Alchemist.

A fairly short, um…person was standing behind a wooden podium clearly marked with golden letters that said "Plaintiff." He had skin as pale as Izumi's around his eves in the distinct shape of a pair of rap-around sunglasses. Everywhere else was tanned to a nice golden tone, and he wore a black midriff hater top and a short black skort. A pair of fingerless black gloves adorned his hands, and his feet, likewise, were covered in sandals that looked like something only a homeless man would wear. He had striking violet eyes that glared at no one in particular whilst crossing his arms over his chest. Yet, his most striking feature was not his beady purple eyes, or incredibly poor fashion sense, or even the fact that I had to ask the executive producer of this show what his gender was, it was his hair. Yes, his hair. To begin with, it was green. His hair spiked out in random directions and was nearly 3 feet long. Anyways, enough with the descriptions. His name was Envy, not on with the show.

Izumi sighed and rolled her eyes while resting her chin on one hand, and carelessly waving the other. "Plaintiff, state your case." Izumi's apathetic voice rang throughout the courtroom.

"Well," began Envy, "I was just laying there, getting a tan, and minding my own business, when this punk comes out of nowhere and abducts me! Then, he puts my feet in a restricting terra cotta pot and proceeds to place soil over my feet! And that isn't even the worst of it!" Envy screamed "When I didn't produce coconuts, he threatened to cut me down!"

"Uh huh…" Izumi replied. "Defendant, what's your defense?"

"Well, you see your honor," replied Ed while shrugging, "I thought he was a palm tree."

"I object!" Envy screamed.

Izumi rolled her eyes. "To what?"

Envy had a mixture of shock and hurt on his face that she would even have to ask such a question. "I do not look like a palm tree!"

Izumi let out one of her very rare chuckles. "Overruled. You definitely look like a palm tree."

"Your Honor!" gasped Envy.

Izumi sighed. "Will you please SHUT UP?!"

At this Envy began to sulk quietly, and nearly seemed to deflate.

"Now, why did you think he was in fact a real, coconut-bearing palm tree?" Izumi asked while staring at her watch.

Ed blushed a little as he recalled the scene. "Well, I was walking along, and there was this long brown thing with green leaves just lying there in the middle of the park. I'd been wanting a new houseplant, and I could imagine that it was anything except for a palm tree, so I planted it and took it home!"

"So he was naked?" Izumi questioned.

"Yes!" replied Ed.

Izumi snarled her nose. "Then, shouldn't you have noticed something distinctly…human about him, like genitalia?" Ed burst out laughing, and Izumi glared at him. "This is a court of law!" she screamed. "Show some maturity!"

Ed stifled his laughter. "Well…" he said, "No, if he did, I certainly couldn't see it!"

"I OBJECT!" Envy screamed through his sobs.

Izumi's eye twitched with irritation. "I don't really give a shit if you don't produce coconuts. If you two have a problem, I suggest you stick them on a table and measure. Judgment for the defendant. Anyone could have made that mistake, in fact, I thought you were a tree too and was planning to plant you outside my office. Case dismissed." Izumi rang the mallet and vacated the courtroom.

Both Ed and Al gathered up their belongings and began to walk out the door, although Envy was still sobbing. Ed began talking to the camera man. "Well, he does look like a palm tree." Ed pointed to him and shrugged.

Envy, through his tears hit Ed with his purse. "I do NOT look like a palm tree, and I do so have coconuts! I'm going to take you on Jerry Springer!"

The announcer came over the speaker once more. "This have been Judge Izumi." It boomed and went off.