Be Our Guest

"Beau, do you want to play magic castle?" my daughter asked her brother.

He grinned. "Of course, Amandine! I'll be the beast, and you can be the peasant girl!"

She nodded, hurried outside, and timidly entered the castle. "Hello? Is anyone here?"

"What are you doing here?!"

Amandine stood akimbo. "You have three seconds to give me back my father before I break your ugly face!"

"You found your way here! Find your way back home!" Beau began pushing his sister toward the door.

"Wait! I'll be your prisoner instead."

He pretended to think it over. "Well, alright! But you will join me for dinner!"

"I will not!"

I enjoyed watching my children play, but I wasn't expecting any other relatives to visit. I was surprised when Adam's parents arrived at the castle.

Adam's mother frowned. "How foolish of Adam to leave a peasant in charge of the castle during his absence! No doubt you know nothing about how a proper royal must behave and what your duties are as queen!"

"Most improper!" My father-in-law crossed his arms. "I hear the sound of laughter! You don't give your servants wages for making jokes, do you? I pay mine only for being of service!" He stared at the decorations that had taken Angelique hours to arrange. "Surely you don't allow your servants to spend so much time with such frivolities! How do they ever get their chores done?!"

They seemed to have a problem with everything I did. I was too lenient with the servants; a good master ought to give commands rather than requests. I spent too much time reading; a good woman had no need for trying to learn anything if she would just obediently submit to the wisdom of her husband.

Cogsworth gave enough orders, but he needed to be harsher to demand everyone's respect whether it was given willing or not. Lumière was a gracious host, but it wasn't at all proper that he placed the needs of guests before his own duties. Fife was an excellent musician, but music was a waste of time; someone who truly cares about benefitting the kingdom would learn a trade such as fletching arrows or baking bread rather than engaging in such idleness.

"Since you obviously don't know how to run this castle properly," my mother-in-law concluded, "you needn't trouble yourself about it any longer. My husband and I will be the masters until Adam returns."

Needless to say, the servants didn't care for that idea at all.

"Were I not head of household," Cogsworth began, "I would suggest that we make sure our visitors wish to return to their own castle as soon as possible."

"If you have an idea, be my guest!" exclaimed Lumière.

The other servants stared in disbelief.

"Lumière and Cogsworth agree on something!" Fife clasped both hands over his heart in shock. "I never thought I'd live to see the day!"

"They are right," Angelique stated. "We must do something, or we won't have a moment of peace until King Adam returns!"

"What should we do?!" La Plume queried. "We've got to stop them before they criticize the wolves!"

The other servants shuddered.

"They're sure to find plenty of faults with Louve," Babette commented. "I have a feeling they won't approve of a woman who wears men's clothing, carries weapons, works outdoors, and is in authority over about a dozen employees, all of them men. Then there's her temper, the way she always speaks her mind, her natural insolence…"

"The wolves don't have to know!" Lumière answered. "We will find a way to make our guests return home before the wolves even find out we have visitors at the castle!"

"An idea comes to mind." Webster motioned for the other servants to lean in a bit closer so he would be able to explain quietly. "In ancient Rome, there was a tradition that once a year, masters would serve their slaves. It was some kind of holiday. Anyway, I suggest we pretend that we also celebrate this festival and that this is the day we do it!"

It sounded like a good plan, and none of the other servants had any ideas, so they agreed to it.

Cogsworth bowed graciously to my in-laws. "We are honored that you would visit our castle on such an important holiday. This is the one day each year where masters must attend their servants."

Adam's father scowled. "Does my son allow such foolishness?!"

"It was his idea!" Lumière answered. "Would you have us break such an honorable tradition, one set in place by le roi himself?! If such a celebration gives my masters pleasure, then who am I, a mere servant, to demand that they change anything?!"

"Most certainly!" agreed Cogsworth. "We find this yearly custom just as unusual as you surely do, but good servants uphold rather than question their masters' commands."

My mother-in-law sighed. "I suppose Adam's a grown man and can make his own decisions about how to control his castle, but I for one won't stand such absurdity! Come, my husband. I can see our helpful advice would be wasted here!"

They left less than fifteen minutes later.

"I can't believe you two actually worked together for once!" Mrs. Potts remarked.

"Nor can I!"

The other servants seemed startled when the caretakers of the royal forest entered the room.

"We wouldn't have our jobs very long if we didn't know who came through our forest at what time," one of them explained, "but the bosses told us how you came up with a plan to try to spare us from a dreadful migraine by keeping us oblivious."

"We want to thank you," another stated. "It's the thought that counts."

Before they could react, the other servants were surrounded and pulled into hugs by grateful forest workers. I wished Adam was there. He would have been amazed to see his entire household at peace with each other.

Of course the peace was shattered five minutes later, but that's a different story.