Crazy Otaku: I've been gone too long! But on the plus side, we got some awesome fanmail. It's pixie torturing time! Woot woot. So first things first, heres my co-star Edward Elic!
*the audience cheers and throws various...items Edward"
Audience: We love you Ed! Heres a rose! Heres a bra, keep it!
Ed: Haha, you know you love me. Okay, as usual. Or used to be usual *Glares at CO"
CO: Hey, it was school, and than addicting video games, and new episodes of you and Al and Roy and Riza and...and
Ed: I get it! Anyways, we do not own any of the anime etc. used in the making of this fanfi- I mean show.
CO: Now for the guests, worst comes first welcome the Twitards Edward Cullen, Bella Swan and Jacob Black.
Edward: I hate this.
Bella: Don't leave me!
Jacob: I hate you, Cullen.
CO: Now we'll seperate by animes. First up, D. Gray Man! Allen, Kanda, Komui, his insane robot Kumurin or however it's spelled, and Lenalee.
Allen: Hello, nice to meet you all.
Kanda: Tch
Komui: Nobody touch my sister!
Insane Robot: Do not touch Lenalee.
Lenalee: Brother...
CO: Next up I would like to bring in the characters from Soul Eater! Soul, Maka, Spirit, and Stein!
Soul: Hey.
Maka: Hello all.
Spirit: Daddy's here Maka!
Stein: Anything I can disect?
CO: Soon, stein,soon. Next up, the main event. Fullmetal alchemist! Welcome...hold on need to get a list here...
CO: Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Al Elric,Winry Rockbell, Black Hayate, Olvier, Alex Armstrong, Izumi, Sig, Shou Tucker, and Kimblee!
Roy: Hellllo ladies. * wink *
Riza: Anybody makes a move on him say bye bye to your head.
Al: I don't think you can shoot all your problems, Lt
Roy: Aw Hawkeye do you love me?
Riza: Took you this long to figure it out? Why else would a girl put up with you and your lazy ass?
Roy: Uhh
Hayate: Marry my owner you fool!
Riza: You can talk?
Hayate: Here I can.
Winry: Aw so adorable!
Olvier: I'm surrounded by idiots!
A. Armstrong: Don't fret sister, our intelligence has been passe down the armstrong line for generations!
Olivier: Start sparkling like the fairy and I will slice you in half.
Izumi: I'm on Olviers side on that one, no more sparkles!
Sig: …
Shou Tucker: Do I get my pocket watch back or my daughter?
Ed: Why does your watch come first you evil bastard!
Kimblee: This should be interesting. Can I blow stuff up?
CO: Soon, you crazy,evil man. Soon.
Oh I almost forgot, Barry the Chopper everybody!
Barry: Helllloooo Hawkeye!
Riza: Not him again...
"Hayate start biting Barrys clothes again*
CO: And now from the real world, it's my dog JR! He's so adorable!
*A little white with brown patches, one patch like a misshappen heart, Jack Russell Terrier comes runnign in and hops on my lap *
CO: I missed him.
Now than on the the first event, now added is:
Crazy Otaku's Pixie Toturing Time!
Afterwards we go to the fanmail, which will once again be pixie toturing!
First things first who wants to torture the pixie first?
Olvier: I will extinquish his sparkles!
CO: Okay, let's see. Lets set pixie lose in a forest. Than it's pixie hunting season! Who would you like to bring with you Olvier?
Olvier: I'll bring Hawkeye and Hayate.
CO: Okay Hawkeye heres a rifle with bullets that erupt in flames on impact! Now go have fun.
As for us that will be watching, please direct your attention to the big screen!
(A.N- when int eh big screen italics is whats happening, normal text is speech)
Hawkeye, Hayate and Olvier enter the forest. It's quiet. Too quiet. Theres a rustling to their left. Hawkeye send the leaves on the forest floor in that general direction a flame with a single bullet. A scared pixie jumps out, jumping around screming
Hot Hot Hot, Very hot, really hot
Hawkeye starts to take aim but is stopped by Olivier, who begins to chop cullen up in tiny pieces with her blade. After which she stuffs his mangled body in a bag and heads out, Hayate and Hawkeye in tow.
CO: Welcome back, spill Cullen out so he can reform. Cus it's time for my personally favorite segment.
Ed + CO: FanMail!
CO: Since it's been so long, this might take awhile. So first up from awhile ago...
Queen NekoChan writes
i don't know what the "miniskirt line" is, but whatever. now, let's see what my mind can think of...
oh! have Ed, Mustang, and Hawkeye tie the Pixie and Mary Sue to a log, get a katakana, and stab them multiple times! the reason why it's a log is because the katakana might get stuck and you'll have to resort to extra measures to get it out. the "extra measures" doesn't have to work all the time...
EXAMPLE:
Roy: I keep on burning them, but the sword won't come out!
Hawkeye: Sir, setting them on fire will not get it out. But maybe... *loads gun*
Ed: No, wait! let me try! *transmutes automail*
see how much fun it can be?
CO: As this was read Pixie and Mary Sue were tied to the log in a lake outback, to the big screen!
Bella screams and Edward faints and 5 of the katanas get stuck. Kanda struggles to get mugen out I shouldn't have stabbed them 100 times, I got my anti akuma weapon stuck tch In the meantime Komui has a solution, and it involves his insane robot. The robot uses his giant frying pan and smashes the katanas over and over again, after Kanda got mugen out of course,but it only succeeds in bending the metals. Next Riza steps up and uses her new rifle, that I gave her, and takes aim. 5 rapid fire shots hit each katana. Oh no, they just catch on fire and harden the steel. The two Cullens start roasting. Ed wrinkles his nose Ugh thats worse than MILK! He decides to try and transmute the katanas out, but they are really stuck and instead get transmuted into the wood! Oh the humanity! This is too much! Roy steps up and Kimblee follows, it's time for fire power. Many powerful claps and snaps later, the Cullen are lying on the docks steaming and outcold.
CO: Throw em in the lake to wake em up, in the meantime the next fanmail will be read by Izumi!
Izumi: Alright, let's see. AutumnLeafFall writes
THAT WAS AWESOME! So glad I gave you all one pass okay now Cullen has to watch and read super hard core yaoi fanfictions and videos involving him and every guy in Twilight (and there are yaoi fanfics involving him ause I found them when I was looking for others and theres no way that I was goin near that stuff) (also for those of you who dont know what yaoi is its two guys doing it together)
Izumi: I'm not sure I want to see that, have you seen Cullen shirtless?
CO: My aunts Team Edward, had tickets for New Moon 3 months in advance. Yes, yes I have. I cringed. Couldn't stop cringing. It was worse than my times in..
Riza: Ishbal?
CO: No, the hospital. Damn doctors would wake me up in the middle of the night give me nasty medicine, and needles. Oh the needles! Anyways Cullen awake yet?
Cullen: What now you insane fangirl? Why do you take joy in ruining peoples lives. JUST ACCEPT THAT I AM HOTTER THAN EDWARD E.!
CO: Why would I lie for a sparkling, fairy-tastic sad excuse for a vampire who doesn't even drink human blood? I mean seriously, have you heard of Dracula? No? Hell, True Bloods better than Twilight. Van Helsing, the movie with Hugh Jackman, those are vampires! You know that they have in common?
Cullen: What?
CO: They don't friggin SPARKLE!
Cullen: …
CO: Now go in that closet and watch the nasty yaoi! Probably worse than RoyEd fanfics.
Roy and Ed: WHAT?
CO: Hm?
Roy: They pair us...
Ed: Together?
CO: I don't understand it... I'm a fan of Royai and Edwin, don't worry.
*screams echo down the hall *
Ed: Whats he watching?
CO: I believe it's a animated video of him and Jacob, in great detail.
Ed: *shivers *
Cullen (muffled): No, no don't! Omg, ew no don't switch places... *howls come from the video *
CO: Let's go out to eat lunch, just hearing about it is creepy...
Cullen: Omg I didn't know you could shape shift that too!
Jacob: Can I come with you guys?
CO: Why?
Jacob: I just...can't.. I think I am gonna throw up, it's so nasty...
CO: Why not, you don't sparkle.
*an hour and a half later *
Cullen: *shiver * It's so...
CO: almost feel bad...syke! AutumnLeafFall, you make another great suggestion I think I'll have you appear on the show. New rule, 4 hilarious suggestions gets you a spot on the show! Let me see if anyone else is close...
Xx-animeddict-xX two more and you can appear, and they can be on the same chapter.
Since they were the only two that commented on the first chapter that I can see, they are the closest. Now heres a fanmail from Xx-animeaddict-xX:
ahahaha that was just epic, now my life feels completeXD
kool i didnt know u could get that line as a ringtone, sweeeetXP
The miniskirt line can be a ringtone, I lost it because I had to sync my iPhone to a new iTunes...*sniffle* in exchange I now have the first brotherhood openign on my iPod. Go FMAB!
Lenalee: May I read the next fanmail?
CO: Of course, read away.
Lenalee: This one is from fictiongurl3553:
I WANT EDWARD SULLEN TO TASTE THE WRATH OF KOMUUIIII! *EVIL LAUGH* I got tired of Twilight and its crappy love story, It's a MARY SUE STORYLINE I TELL YA!
PLEASSEE! CAN KOMURIN, KOMUI AND LENALEE APPEAR NEXT CHAPTER?~
(especially Komurin ^_^)
Lenalee: Aw thank you for thinking of me!
CO: Your wish has come true, and now how bout the D. Gray Man characters send you a shout out?
Lenalee: Hiyas!
Allen: Hello. Am I a loved character as well?
CO: Someone in my Anime club is completely nutso over you don't worry.
Kanda: Hey..tch
Komui: I love to know I'm loved, and so does my robot!
Insane Robot: Thank you fangirl.
CO: Komui why don't you read the next fanmail?
Komui: Okay! From SilverNightBlade:
wassup! anyway i love the series! ed and al are awesome! if i could pick any anime dudes to be my brothers they would be my first pick! my sis loves the show man and she loves kanda even more! i want to tell kanda he has awesome hair and i would kick anyone who says he looks like a girl! anyway i dare ed to beat cullen upside the head with one of those spikey club thingies 523473619374628173827 times. also you make man seem so awesome i'm gonna watch it myself! i love you guys! plus i added the author and this show to my faves! bye!
Ed: I am awesome, I admit it. So is Alphonse! My little brother rocks! Anyways *transmutes club * let's get started
1..
2..
CO: Anyways so..
Ed: 3..
4..
5..
CO: *sigh * lets take a break for a few hours...
*5 hours later *
Ed: 6000000000000000000000...
CO: You went a bit over..
Ed: Damn, you caught me!
Cullen: Are those stars? Haha, and unicorns...pretty
Ed: Ok come on that's proof that hes gay!
CO: Hush, that's an insult to all gay guys everywhere!
Izumi: I'll read the next fanmail!
CO: Well, not gonna argue with you!
Izumi: From Mew Phong:
Yay! Die twilight! Ohh I want Olivier and Izumi to gang up on either Mary sue pixie or Mary sue and rip them apart. Then they can go have tea! Well izumi can but not Armstrong. She needs to go get her family and then they can did out how they Cullen sparkle because that's OBVIOUSLY an Armstrong thing.
Izumi: Finally I can beat him up!
CO: Theres a training area next door, feel free to use that.
Olivier: I'm coming...
Izumi: You already got to beat him!
Olivier: I am clearly mentioned int eh fanmail!
Izumi: Well you are fun to fight with, let's take turns!
CO: To the big screen!
Izumi steps in to the ring with cullen, and instantly goes karate kid on him. Chops, punches kicks, holds, throws. She mangles him up!
Cullen: What are you?
Izumi: I'm a HOUSEWIFE!
Olivier steps in and throws the mangled fairy across the ring, jumps and lands on her sword handle, the blade of the sword being in Cullens brains. She than uses the blade to fling Cullen into a wall. He doesn't get up.
CO: He didn't last too long.
Izumi: It wasn't much fun..
Olivier: Next fanmail is from Shoujo Fan Fiction
OMG Id be HELLA FUNNY if Shuo Tucker (the sewing life alchemist) turned Bella into a chimera in front of Edward and Jacob. Thatd make my day.
Ed: That bastard Tucker? Though it would be funny..
CO: Tucker do your thing, I'll eat some Ramen. Mmmm beef flavored.
Bella: May I have some?
CO: *death glare * Do not even think of touching my ramen, Mary Sue!
Roy: May I?
CO: OFCOURSE!
As Roy and I enjoy ramen Tucker tranmutes Mary Sue and a poor, poor pigeon that was flying by our studio. The result was Mary Sue covered in feathers and wings instead of arms. She start cawing and flapping around, knocking both Edward and Jacob out cold.
CO: LOL only way I can describe it.
Ed: Agreed
I will read the last fanmail
CO: Go on pipsqueak...
Ed: Who you calling a pipsqueak, half pint!
CO: Beansprout!
Ed: Shortcake!
CO: Mini!
Ed: Shorti!
CO: POKEBALL!
Ed:...Pokeball?
CO: You know before they click the pokeball on, it's like the size of a penny...
Ed: Whatever, from Alchemistofpeace, like the name there...
This... is... GENIUS! LOL, I love pixie-boy suffer. Okay, for my dare, I want pixie-boy to watch mary sue get raped by Jacob, and then blown up by Kimblee. Or set on fire by Mustang. I'm not picky.
Cullen: Uhhh
Jacob: Errr
Bella: What the hell? NO!
CO: Roy...
Roy: I'll toast your boyfriend if the audience isn't pleased!
CO: I don't wanna watch this, closet, nows!
*male screams come from the closet *
CO: That sounds like Jacob...
Ed: I don't think he likes what he sees. I'm lucky, I got a hot girlfriend
Winry: Aww, Ed! Wait, you didn't break my automail did you?
Ed: No!
Winry: Oh, than thank you!
Cullen: No! We were gonna wait till marriage!
Jacob: I hate this girl now. Kill me please!
CO: Creepy!
Ed: They're done, and it's the end of the show * drags pixie out*
CO: Thank you for reading and being patient!
*pixie is tied to a chair *
Roy: Good
Kimblee: Bye
*snap *
*clap *
