Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns everything but the plot and new characters.
(Rose's P.O.V.)
Until... Christian Ozera walked through the door with a pregnant Natalie clinging to his arm. I dug my nails into Jeremiah's skin, and my breaths came uneven. I didn't know what to do. Jeremiah looked at me in shock and concern. I dropped the glass of champagne in my hand and barely heard the glass shatter over the music. No one noticed, so obviously no one would care.
"What is it?" Jeremiah's gentle voice asked.
"That's.. Him." I chocked out between breaths. Jeremiah followed my gaze and I saw the anger in his eyes. Than, two more ghosts from my past walked in. Lissa and Dimitri, holding onto each other like they were each other's whole world. I fondly looked at the dress Lissa wore, one I had bought her. But the pain was too much for me to handle. I dropped to my knees, ignoring the hurt of the impact against the cool expansive marble floor. I couldn't breathe. I was having a panic attack. Jeremiah scooped me up in his arms and took me to a little secret room, that couldn't really be called secret considering many people knew it was here. He sat me on my feet and I slid down the wall, tucking my legs underneath me. Jeremiah handed me my inhaler. I had it for moments like these. When I had a panic attack, it helped me breath. I put it to my mouth hitting the large orange button. Inhale. Exhale. I pulled it away, sucking in, my lungs screaming for air. Oxygen pumped it's way into my body. I sat there until I had calmed down, than looked at Jeremiah.
"We don't have to go back out there, Rose." He told me, gently.
"Yes," I said, nodding, ", we do." He sighed, than led me out the door, cautiously. He kept me close to him, a protective arm around my waste, and I felt a little more at ease, but not much. Why was my life so incredibly hard? I lifted my eyes, only to meet Christian's from across the room. He looked shocked for a moment, than turned to Lissa. I took that chance and pulled Jeremiah away from the spot we were in. I hid my face in his shoulder and we began dancing like nothing had happened. But so much had happened. The boy that is my entire world was standing just a few feet away with so many other important people to me. I wanted to run over and throw my arms around all of them, hold them to me, and never let them go. But I didn't, I just stayed here, swaying to music.
"Rose?" The voice belonged to Lissa, the girl that was my angel for so long. I untangled myself from Jeremiah and slowly turned to face her. Every emotion she felt shined in her large eyes. She ran forward, almost knocking me over. I regained my balance and somehow managed to hold the taller girl in my arms. She shook with sobs and all I wanted to do was make it go away. I wanted to steal her pain away, she didn't deserve to feel this way. She was a good person. I held her for a few moments, before she pulled away. She trailed a pale finger down the side of my face, as if to make sure I was real. She pressed her hand to my face, and I covered hers with mine. With my free hands, I wiped the tears from her face.
"Hey, Liss." I said, my voice weak.
"Hey, Rose." She whispered, a slight smile curving her lips. Her face took up a sad look. "You realize I have to tell Christian, don't you?" She questioned, voice gentle.
No and why screamed through my head, but I just nodded. "I know." She turned away from me, and walked over to Christian. She said a few words, than he rushed over and hugged me like nothing ever happened between us, like we were still close, like we were still together. Like he never cheated on you. A voice in the back of my mind whispered.
"Rose, I'm sor-"
I cut him off. "I don't want to hear apologies, Christian. I know I have a heart, because every time the memories whisper through my mind, it breaks." I caught his hand and placed it over my heart. "Do you feel that? It's my heart, beating for you. It's filled with love- for you. And can you feel it breaking- for you." And somewhere inside those blue eyes I spotted regrets, hurt, and love, all three held in this boy who once was, who still is, my entire world. "In my dreams, Christian, I felt you lying beside me in my bed. When I opened my eyes, the bed was warm, as if you were really there. But it was mind, playing tricks on me, a smoke and mirrors act. But it was always you inside of it. You were the only thing I needed. And now you love someone new." I stopped to take a shaky breath than continued. "Did you ever think about me? Did you ever cry yourself to sleep? Did you ever wake up, to find yourself screaming my name? I tried to forget. I tried to forget your name, forget your face, forget your kiss, your warm embrace. I tried to forget the love I once knew, I had to remember you had someone new. I tried to forget you when they played our song, I had to remember when I cried all night long. I had to forget how close we once were, and remember you had chosen how I memorized your walk, forget the way you used to talk. Forget the things you used to say, I tried to remember you had gone away. I tried to forget your laugh, forget your grin, and forget the dumple on your chin. I tried to forget the way you held me tight, I had to remember you were with her at night. I never forgot the time that went so fast. I tried to forget the loved that move, it's past. I forgot you said you'd leave me never, and I remembered you were gone forever. And now, here you are, in front of me, and I'm drowning in the memories. I love you." With that, I turned and using all the strength I had, I walked away from the love of my life.
