The car was stuck in traffic and inside of the car was Gracia still slapping Sima Yi while everyone just ignores him.

"Come on! Can you at least not let her tear out my hair!?" Takasugi responds to him,"Everyone wants to see this, so you're stuck with her." Gracia continues to pull on Sima Yi. Sima Yi then angrily zaps her and she turns into a box.

"Magic works here?!"

"Ahhh... now she shuts up now..." The box hops around with Gracia's voice.

"I can't open the top!"

"Stay in there until your father gets up from his beauty sleep."

"I want to speak with my lawyer!"

"You have a lawyer? Ha."

An hour passed and the car gets out of traffic. Takasugi then parks the car at a mall.

"My phone's tracker app is getting a few pings from this place." He turns to see everyone sleeping. He hits the horn to have the noise make everyone jump up in shock.

"Let's go. Wait, let me call someone to do something."


Back at the auditorium, Suzaku takes out his phone to answer it.

"Hello?"

"You're hosting the segment. Find a PS4 controller and have it spit out the characters I picked up."

"What segment?"

"The thing where characters do s*bleep* the audience says!"

"Oh. Sure." He hangs up and quickly walks to a table that had a PS4 controller on it. He turns it on and swipes on the touchpad to have it shoot out everyone that had been captured so far.

"Uhhh... what do I do?" He sees the mailbox and he looks through it.

"Why is there a mailbox smack in the middle here?" He takes out a pile of letters and looks through them.

"Umm... only a few of the people are actually here... Okay, Lu Xun has to not go burn something. Gan Ning, Dian Wei, this one's about your nipples. Sima Zhao has to make a smoothie. Okay, shoot."

"What about my nipples?" asked Gan Ning.

"This letter asked on why you and Dian Wei don't have any nipples. And it suggested you two have cancer."

"Well, whoever wrote that is blind. You can easily see my nipples. Look."

"No thank you... Okay... I'll need to head into the company break room to grab that blender."

Few minutes later, the table has a blender with random food items around it on it. Suzaku then leads Sima Zhao to it.

"Go nuts and choose who gets to taste it."

"Okay." He just throw in random fruits and miscellaneous foods like bags of chips, leftover coffee, yogurt, a sandwich, cheese, juice, and a few sushi rolls. He blends up the things and then pours out a very dark liquid.

"Soo... who do I give it to?"

"Your wife, your brother, your mom... Your subjects..."

"Umm... You do it."

"Why? I'm not doing the dare here."

"...Fine. I choose giving this to Shi." Sima Shi hears this and quickly says,"I'm not thirsty! But I think Yuanji's throat is a bit dry! Her voice sounds a bit screechy!"

"Okay." Wang Yuanji hears this and then quickly says,"My throat's fine. But maybe Jia Chong needs something to drink besides blood in order to stop talking like a possessed demon."

"He IS a possessed demon."

"It's because his throat is dry as the Gobi Desert. Make him drink that and he'll be talking normally. I heard he likes really black coffee, so this is good for him." Jia Chong hears this and then quickly says,"Come on, you should be a good son and give your creation to your mother. She can't refuse it since she loves you so." Sima Zhao turns slowly towards Zhang Chunhua holding the black liquid and she quickly says,"I'm not thirsty. Why don't you drink it?"

"..." Sima Zhao looks at the liquid and says back,"Uhhh... I'm not thirsty either..."

"You made it, you should be the one to taste it."

Sima Zhao stares at the cup and very slowly brings the cup up to his mouth and takes a very slow sip. He then takes another sip and another sip to eventually drink the whole cup.

"How is it?"

"It doesn't taste as bad as you think it would..."

"Oh really? Do you guys have taste buds?"

"Why yes! You can look at my tongue-"

"No thank you. The rest of the people are not here and I'm waiting for Mr. Takasugi to get the other people back to answer this mailbox's stuff."


Takasugi was looking at his phone as he walked through the mall with Lu Bu and Sima Yi and the two, respectively, were holding a still unconscious Mitsuhide and a box with Gracia's voice coming from it.

"Man, Mitsuhide is really out. I didn't know Sima Yi could give a punch like that..." Takasugi snickers and says,"I think he has that ring on his hand to thank. Rings hurt more when you combine them with a punch. Trust me. I pissed off a married man and it... hehehehe... messed up my cornea..."

"Are you sure you're not talking about Sima Yi right now?"

"No, no, it was a totally different married guy. That is in this world and human. And not in a video game land. But yeah, at least we know Sima Yi doesn't hit like a girl."

"You assumed I did?"

"Well no, I've seen footage of you hitting Sima Zhao and getting hit by Zhang Chunhua. I couldn't tell if you're too weak, Sima Zhao's too sensitive, or Zhang Chunhua being a little on the over powered side. I should suggest to the programmers to nerf her."

"That sounds... a bit sexual..."

"You think everything's sexual!"

"Because your generation's words sound weird to me!"

"You're an Ancient Chinese man in his forties with an American accent! Don't you give me that! Though I'm one to talk... I'm a Japanese man with a an American accent. I can't even pronounce words with L's wrong anymore..."

"What's an American?"

"I know right? Life's greatest mysteries. Those guys like putting meat in their ice cream. And that's coming from someone living in a country that has charcoal as an ice cream flavor." The phone beeps loudly and the group finds themselves standing in front of a women's underwear store. The two behind Takasugi had a little red in their cheeks.

"Your people like to just show a large picture of a scantily-clad woman..."

"In frilly underwear..."

"The both of you should talk. I mean, both of your lovers walk around in scraps considered clothing..." Loud yelling was heard and Magoichi Saika was seen thrown out of the underwear store. Gracia hops out of Sima Yi's hands and was hopping around the lying body of Magoichi.

"I found Mago!"

"Nrrrghh... I am so confused on what women do here..."

"Only one ping was found here. Oh well. Get into the controller." Magoichi quickly gets up and says to him,"No way! That thing is cramped as hell! And why is this box sounding like Gracia?"

"Sima Yi turned her into a box."

"What? That's pretty cruel. I mean that box looks very uncomfortable."

"She's still moving like nothing happened, so it's fine." said Sima Yi. "Besides, I'm waiting for Zho-Mitsuhide to wake up before I'm giving her human form back."

"Hmm... I'll just use the controller to suck up Mitsuhide if he's not waking up. Sima Yi, turn Gracia back so she can hop in there too."

"Fine." Sima Yi zaps the box and it turns back into Garcia. Takasugi then has Mitsuhide and Gracia get into the controller.

"Well, if Magoichi doesn't want to get in, he might as well help us. What do you know of any DW or SW characters that are in here?"

"Ahhhhh... Let me remember... Oh yes. I remember all of those beautiful ladies went in groups to check out this world's fashion stuff and what not... Except Yue Ying. She went over to this place with books and... stuff..."

"Can you lead us to her or any of the women mentioned?"

"I need more eyes then these two here... I mean... hehehehe... Ahhh... I'd hate for their beloveds to get jealous over them chasing after other women..."

"Want Guo Jia with you?"

"No. He'll just get in the way! Besides, women love a man with a gun. What does he have? A stick and flying balls."

"Okay, him it is. Sima Yi, goodbye."

"Wait, why are you switching me for-Oh no..."

"I'm sorry, but he's more fun."

"Good luck in getting him to do what you want." Takasugi has the controller suck him up and it spits out Sima Shi.

"No! Does this go randomly?"

"Ugh... where am I?"

Takasugi quickly has him get sucked up into the controller and the controller spits out Sima Zhao.

"Nope." He presses again and Sima Zhao gets switched out for Zhang Chunhua. Magoichi then has his eyes get swapped out for hearts and goes up to her.

"Ohhhhh heeeeeellloooo! Who's this lovely flower? What's your name? Would you like to have dinner with me?"

"Um... Who is this? Did Xu Shu finally get self-esteem?"

"Haha, Xu Shu wishes he got self-esteem. Sorry, Magoichi, she was just leaving. Chihua-No! Why does my tongue do this?! Anyway, can you throw Guo Jia out here when I have this suck you back in?"

"You were about to call me one of those tiny dogs again..."

"My tongue can't grasp your name right! Like Sun Shang-blah-Come on!"

"Wait, I don't want Blonde Emo! Can I get to know her at least?" complained Magoichi.

"She's married."

"Damn it! Why are all the pretty ones married or have really overprotective fathers and the young ones stuck with me?"

"Life's cruel." Takasugi activates the controller and Zhang Chunhua disappears into it. The controller then spits out Guo Jia.

"Ow! This ground is so soft... Huh?" Guo Jia looks up and makes eye contact with Magoichi. He quickly stands up and happily greets him.

"Oh hello, my fellow women-lover. It's been a long time."

"Yes, indeed."

"Okay, we got our little reunion done, now let's find those women that are scattered all over this mall."

"Oh, I get it... You need me and Magoichi here to sniff those ladies out for you."

"When you say "sniff" it sounds wrong in the wrong context. But we don't have time for that. You can easily identify most of the women in both of you two's lives, so it will be easy for me."

A half an hour later, Takasugi and Lu Bu were sitting on a simple bench waiting.

"Are you sure you can actually trust those two to do what you say?"

"Lookie here, the great Lu Bu is questioning my judgement with such eloquent words."

"I'm not just some brute that speaks simply!"

"You give off that vibe for me and the audience in general."

"If Diao Chan and Lingqi are here, I hope those two slimeballs won't use their tricks on them..."

"What about Chen Gong?"

"Who?"

"Get away, creeps!" The sound of women yelling out was getting closer to the two and it showed a small mix of DW and SW women running from Magoichi and Guo Jia.

"Wait! We're not trying anything this time!"

"You are needed back... home...?"

"Don't listen to their tricks!"

"It's not a trick!" Magocihi quickly whispers under his breath,"Sort of..." The two get stopped by mall security and they are cuffed as the women give them glares.

"You two are under arrest. You two will be detained in mall jail until we get the authorities out here." The mall police then drag Magochi and Guo Jia away from the area. Takasugi hits his face with his palm.

"Ohhhhh greeeeat..."

"Told you."

"You're getting a time-out!" Takasugi angrily presses the controller and Lu Bu disappears into it.

"I want someone who won't "told you so" me." The controller has Sima Shi appear next to Takasugi.

"Discount Sima Yi. Sure, maybe his insults might hurt less than Sima Yi's. Don't run away."

"That's Xun Yu."

"Fine, I'll call you Sima Yi's botched clone then. All those women are in one place now thanks to the two perverts." Takasugi takes out the controller and has it suck in the group of women that were only a few feet away from them. He then turns to the direction where Magoichi and Guo Jia were taken away and they get sucked into the controller. Yelling is heard.

"Hey! Where did they go?!"

"Search the area! They cannot get far!" Takasugi speaks to the controller,"I'm sorry, you two, but I can no longer let you help me anymore. If you can hear me."


Suzaku was sorting the letters and takes two out.

"There two are about Dong Zhuo. But he is taking a little vacation in North Korea, so we'll have to make do." He gets up and walks off. After a while, he drags a obese mannequin onto the stage and attaches many Dong Zhuo features onto it. He then takes out a sledgehammer and begins to bash it into smithereens. He stops and tosses the sledgehammer away.

"There you go. He's dead. Goddamn, I don't get paid enough for this bull*bleep*."


Takasugi walks with Sima Shi as he was shaking the controller.

"I need another set of eyes that won't cause trouble here." He swipes up and Cao Cao appears in front of him.

"What? Where? Why am I here?"

"Aside from a couple more people, you are somewhat reliable when not distracted."

"You could have called for Yuanji or my mother if you wanted reliable." said Sima Shi.

"I don't want to be attracting attention. Hello? Your mom and sister-in-law's boobs are huge and that will make all of the teenage boys here have stiffies in their skinny jeans."

"Then I will make them stop watching."

"It doesn't work that way!"

"What am I supposed to do?" asked Cao Cao.

"Just keep an eye out for the people you know. You're one of the old characters, so it shouldn't be hard. Now let's go."

They walk along the busy crowds in the mall and follow the loud pings made by the phone in Takasugi's hand. They stand in front of a bookstore.

"I'm only getting one ping here." They enter the store and find themselves surrounded by shelves of books.

"I'll let you guys go off to find this ping. You guys never changed out of your clothes, so just find a guy or lady with weird cosplay clothing."

"Sure..." Sima Shi and Cao Cao walk away from Takasugi and you can hear their conversation.

"So, want to take off when he forgets about us?"

"Why would I want to go with you...?" Takasugi walks in the other direction to walk through shelves books until he sees Yue Ying reading. He sneaks up near her and tackles her.

"AH!"

"Got you! Don't move!"

"A simple "excuse me" would have suffice!"

"I thought you were going to run away like some people I had to deal with before, so I'm taking precautions!"

"You're touching my breast."

"And they're not as flat as Zhen Ji says they were. She needs glasses because these babies are at least a B or a C-GAH!" He gets a punch to the face. He rolls on the ground holding his face.

"Ow, ow, ow... Can you tell me where your Shu buddies went to...?"

"I don't know. Zhuge Liang got dragged off by Liu Bei, much to his dismay..."

"Okay, follow me."

"But I want to know if-"

"Spoiler alert: She dies." He gets hit in the head with the book Yue Ying was reading earlier.

"Fine. You already killed it, so I will follow along."

"I have to find Cao Cao and Sima Shi since I let them go off here." They walk around for a while and see Cao Cao and Sima Shi standing and reading dirty magazines. Takasugi slaps the books out of their hands.

"Let's go."

"Look at this." Cao Cao hands Takasugi a magazine.

"Ooh, is this a new one?" He starts to get distracted and begins to read that. The two then continued to read the pornagraphy next to each other and they all receive a hit to the head by Yue ying.

"Ow!"

"Didn't you come here for a reason?!"

"Yeah! To pick up every DW and SW character I let loose out here! But... Fine..." He throws the magazine onto the shelf and drags Cao Cao and Sima Shi out of the bookstore.

Takasugi along with his new group walk out of the mall.

"Okay! I got everyone in there. Now let's go to another place." As he approach his car, he hears mumbling that was almost right next to him. He turns to see Izuru moving around with his phone above his head.

"Thirty minutes ago it pinged, now the ping stops... Someone got there before me." He stops to see the group that was a few feet away from him. "...Oh. That explains it." Takasugi comments,"We need a system. You just wasted an hour of your life searching for nothing. Want a ride?"

"No thanks. That thing is going to come apart."

"How would you know? Look at it, it's in good shape!"

"Where did you get it?"

"Ebay." Over to where the car was parked, its tires fall off the axis and doors begin to hang on one hinge. The hood pops upwards to have the engine shoot upwards to land onto another car's roof. Loud honking noises fill the lot. Takasugi laughs sheepishly and was sweating.

"Umm... You wouldn't mind if the four of us squeezed into your car...? Mine's is uh... Not working right..."