A/N: so after an unusually long break from writing, I'm back. I'm happy to say that I've gotten a LOT of writing done lately, and my life is significantly less stressful and back on track, so I've got more time and incentive to write. I am SO sorry that this chapter took so long, but I have more written and should get at least another chapter or two up very soon. Thanks to everyone who decided to hang in there and wait for updates! Now, without further ado, enjoy the rest of the story! :)
Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer and don't own any of these characters. I'm just having fun with them.
Chapter 04
Bella's POV
"Out on a date?" Charlie asked, trying to sound casual.
"Yeah, for tomorrow night. If that's okay," I added.
"I suppose so," he said, "if that's what you want. I thought you two were just friends?"
"Well, he's nice, and we've been hanging out a lot," I shrugged. "He asked, so I thought I'd give him a chance."
"I see," Charlie replied, "We'll it's your choice. But you've got to tell your mother," he laughed.
"Fine," I agreed. "I'm gonna go finish up my homework and call her then." I rose from the table and went up to my bedroom.
I decide to call Renee first, since it was already pretty late in Jacksonville. The call didn't go exactly as I anticipated it would. It began normal enough – we chatted about school, Charlie, and Forks in general for a while – nothing all that exciting. Then the topic changed to Phil, his spring training and try-outs. Eventually, all of the mundane topics had been exhausted and the topic of Mike was all that remained, looming in front of me.
"So," Renee began casually, "what did you need to tell me?"
"What are you – I – I," I stuttered, caught off-guard by her sudden intuitiveness.
"Bells, come on," she said. "I know you better than you know yourself! And I know when you have something you need to tell me."
"Okay, well, there's this boy," I admitted after a moment.
"What's his name?" Renee gushed – this was her element.
"His name is Mike Newton," I began, but she cut me off. She was full of questions, yet not patient enough to wait for me to answer them.
"Newton! Like Isaac Newton, he must be smart – is he smart? Is he a nerd? Not that it would matter of course – or is he a prep, a jock, an AV kid? What does he look like? Is he tall? Does he have nice eyes? How are his teeth? Is he-"
"Mom!" I cut her off with a laugh. "If you're going to ask so many questions, you need to give me time to answer them!"
"Sorry sweetie, it's just, well, you've never had a boyfriend before," she said sheepishly. "Usually these conversations are about me, and my boys. I'm so happy that someone has finally struck your fancy, and we can talk about you for a change!" she said.
"Gee, thanks mom," I said sarcastically.
"Oh Bella, honey, you know what I mean," she laughed. "This Mike person must be a pretty serious guy; I can't imagine you'd ever go for someone who was a goof ball. After all, I call you my middle-aged teenager for a reason."
"Well, actually, Mike can be kind of a goofball," I admitted. "He's sort of a jock."
"Really??" Renee asked. She sounded shocked.
"Yeah, he's on the basketball team and stuff," I said. "He's blonde, blue eyes, athletic – not the smartest kid in the world, but he means well."
"This is surprising," Renee mused.
"Why?" I asked.
"He doesn't sound like your type."
"Mom, I've never had a boyfriend!" I exclaimed. "I don't have a type!"
"Nonsense. Everyone has a type, experienced or not. You're not just settling, are you? I hope you're not…"
"Why would I just settle?" I asked.
"I have no idea," she said. "But no one else in Forks has caught your eye? You don't seem very enthusiastic about this Mike character, and he doesn't sound right for you."
My mind flashed to Edward Cullen, but I immediately blocked out that thought. Besides, he was no longer a resident of Forks, wherever he was.
"No, there's no one else," I lied. Renee wasn't convinced.
"There's someone else and I know it!" she argued. "You should go for him, instead."
"He doesn't live in Forks anymore, Mom," I muttered. "He did, but he left right after I got here. Besides, Mike is really nice."
"Fine," she gave in. "Giving him a chance wouldn't hurt. But, if the other boy comes back, you go for him," she insisted.
"Sure, sure," I said to pacify her.
"Oh no, I'm going to be late!" she cried suddenly. "Phil's taking me out to dinner tonight, I totally forgot!"
"Alright, I'll talk to you later then," I said with a chuckle. She was so scatterbrained that with any luck, she'd never even remember encouraging me to go for Edward instead of Mike. Sometimes I felt guilty for using her poor memory to my advantage, but most of the time it was just convenient and harmless.
I started in on my homework, but before long found myself severely sidetracked. Involuntarily I had moved from analyzing Emily Bronte's use of confusing character names to weighing the pros and cons of Mike Newton versus Edward Cullen in my head. Cathy, Heathcliff… Edward, Mike… I couldn't figure out how I'd gotten there.
I slammed my binder shut in frustration and threw it to the end of my bed. Was I making a mistake, choosing Mike? He hadn't been my first choice, but he'd grown on me… didn't that sometimes happen? I wasn't experienced enough in the field to say for sure, but I didn't think it was so far out of the realm of possibility. Besides, we were going out tomorrow night; surely, this date would make it abundantly clear whether or not this could work… I would just have to be patient and find out.
Eventually, I realized it was time for me to get some shut-eye. I hadn't come to any real conclusions about anything; I was just more frustrated than ever, because my mother had muddled my thoughts. I got ready and climbed into bed, wondering what my date tomorrow would bring.
The next morning, I scrambled to get ready, having woken late after an uneasy night. Visions of Mike, Edward, my father, and a dark forest somewhere kept me up all night. I had no idea what it meant, but I was running so late that I didn't have much time to speculate.
Upon arriving at school I saw Mike standing by his car, looking around nervously. His expression turned to one of relief when he spied my truck pulling into the lot, and he ran to my side before I was even able to open the door.
"Morning Bella!" he said brightly, pulling my door open and holding out a hand to help me out.
"Hey Mike," I replied, flustered. I gathered my things and still practically tripped out of my truck, even though he was there holding out a hand to steady me. "What's up?"
"I was afraid you weren't coming to school today," he admitted chagrined.
"Oh?" I asked, surprised. Why wouldn't I be in school?
"Yeah, well I wasn't sure if you would want a ride this morning, so I went to your house and waited for a few minutes, but then figured maybe you didn't want a ride after all, so I left," he explained hastily. "But then when I didn't see your truck in the lot this morning, I thought maybe you WERE waiting for a ride, or maybe your truck was broken or something and… I dunno, I'm glad you're here now," he smiled.
Wow. Adorable, but a little clingy at the same time. "Oh, thanks Mike," I replied. "I woke up really late so I must have missed you waiting outside – I sort of just ran to my truck without a second thought," I explained. His face fell. "I mean, I just walked out the door like, two minutes ago," I added hastily. "I barely made it on time so it's good you didn't wait."
"Okay," he said, not entirely appeased. I decided to throw him a bone.
"I'm excited for tonight," I said optimistically, with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. It worked.
"Oh me too," he gushed, seizing my hand and walking me toward my first class. "I thought we could go to this cute little diner in Port Angeles, and catch a movie," he explained.
"Sounds great," I agreed. We had arrived at the door to the class room, but he still had my hand. "I'll see you later," I said rather awkwardly.
"I can't wait," he said with a smile, and kissed my hand.
I flushed scarlet and turned to walk into the classroom. I wondered how ridiculous I must look to everyone, blushing so badly from a kiss on the hand. I was unfortunately still receiving quite a bit of "new girl" attention, and walking into class with my face glowing didn't help matters.
The day passed fairly quickly; the only awkward time was lunch. Even though Jessica said she was fine with our dating, she sat at the table next to me and sulked, every now and then trying to cast discrete glances at Mike. Every time he was distracted, I slid my chair a little bit further from him; it was a difficult line to walk, trying not to discourage him but also trying to keep Jessica from freaking out.
At the end of the day, Mike walked me to my truck and held the door open. I slid in, and rolled down the window to talk to him.
"So I'll pick you up at five," he offered, playing with the zipper on his jacket and looking down. "I know it's a Friday and that's kind of early, but it's about an hour drive out there, so we'll get there by six, and the movie is showing at 6:15," he explained.
"Sounds perfect," I agreed, smiling. It was surprising to see him so timid and unsure of himself; around Tyler and Eric, he exuded confidence.
"Alright, then I'll see you at five," he said, and awkwardly gave my truck a pat before walking away.
"Bye," I chuckled, and then turned the key; my truck roared to life, and I couldn't help but laugh as the sudden noise made Mike jump as he was walking away.
Edward POV
Alice and the rest of the family arrived the following evening. We're almost there, we're almost there! I heard Alice, and could just picture her bouncing up and down on the back seat of the Volvo. They were a few miles out, and normally I'd be able to hear all of them at that distance, but Alice was practically screaming at me.
As they came closer, it became easier to hear their individual voices above the chaos that made up Alice's thoughts. Everyone was excited to see me again, but no one more so than Esme. She hadn't forgiven me for taking off without saying goodbye, but she was willing to ignore that fact for a little while.
I walked out onto the porch and stood to wait. Kate and Irina joined me, but Tanya stayed somewhere within the house. She intended to come out once they were actually physically getting out of the car, but not a moment sooner. After what seemed like an eternity, two vehicles pulled up to the house; my Volvo, driven by Carlisle, and Emmett was behind the wheel of his jeep. Alice was out of the car and had her arms wrapped around me before I could even say hello.
"Edward I missed you!" she cried, hugging me tightly.
"Let go," I mumbled, but grinned and tousled her hair. "I missed you too."
She released me just as Esme pulled me into a tight embrace as well. "Oh Edward," was all she could say, but I read in her mind a jumble of thoughts, and relived the moments as Carlisle told her where I had gone, the house without me, my piano sitting neglected and unused….
"Sorry," I mumbled. I knew a guilt trip was coming, but I wasn't sure if I was prepared for it yet.
"Let's all go inside and catch up?" Kate suggested, holding the front door open. Tanya stood in the door frame with a warm smile on her face, but as usual her thoughts betrayed her. I'm acting happy for their sake, she hissed at me inside her head. I inclined my head very slightly once, to show that I understood.
Everyone made their way into the living room, and the small talk began. Everyone wanted to hear how the past few weeks had been, and I let the girls speak for me. Kate and Irina said it was wonderful to have me, and that things were going fine. Tanya had other thoughts but held her tongue. Everyone was fooled except Jasper, who could sense that the emotional climate of the room was absolutely nothing like the words coming out of their mouths. Once they began asking about work for Carlisle, and laughing at my siblings for keeping up the high school façade, I completely tuned out of the conversation.
Because of this, it took me by surprise when I heard "Edward!" called very sharply. My head shot up and I searched the room for the source. Esme may have yelled my name in her head, but nothing about her physical appearance betrayed the fact that she wasn't still deeply involved in a conversation with Irina. A word? She asked, turning toward me for the first time. I nodded.
"Edward, why don't you show me around a bit?" she asked aloud, giving me a pleasant smile. "It's been so long since I've been here."
"Of course," I agreed, returning her warm smile and rising to my feet.
We walked outside and straight into the Alaskan wilderness. We ran for about five minutes before she began to slow. We finally came to a halt along the shore of a deep, cold lake. The moment I had been dreading since my departure from Forks had arrived, and I wasn't sure I was ready for this guilt trip. I picked up a few stones and skipped them absentmindedly across the water; they became deeply imbedded in a tree on the other shore. I sighed and turned back to Esme.
"How could you, Edward?" she asked softly, and I was surprised to find that she was staring away from me. "How could you leave without saying goodbye?"
"Oh Esme," I began weakly, already knowing that there were no words I could say that would form an excuse she would be willing to accept. She turned sharply to face me, and the look of despair on her face melted all my resolve. "I'm sorry, I really am sorry," I began quickly, the words spilling out before I could even comprehend everything I was saying. "I had to leave, I didn't have a choice! I would have killed her, Esme, I would have. It would have ruined everything for us. I saw the options from Alice, and I chose the one I could live with."
"Nonsense," she said stubbornly. "Besides, from what I hear, Isabella Swan is dating that Mike Newton boy now – you wouldn't get too close anyway."
"'Get too'… what are you saying, you think I want to date her?" I asked, aghast. I couldn't believe that that was the direction her thoughts had taken! "I assure you it doesn't matter to me who she dates," I said. "The point is, she's entirely too appealing to me – I would have killed her." A vision of Bella and Mike floated through my head, and I was unpleasantly surprised to find that I did not like what I saw. I quickly pushed the thought from my mind.
"Alice told me the other options, too, Edward," she said softly. "Don't think I'm so naïve." Suddenly, I saw flashes of things I had seen before, but through Alice; Bella with glowing red eyes, pale white skin… a different pale white Bella, lying immobile and cold on the ground in the forest somewhere… these were my possibilities. My options. There really was only one outcome – her death. Whether I made her immortal or just stopped her heart, either way I would kill her. Mike Newton wouldn't kill her. Once again I quickly banished the thought.
"Don't you see? I would kill her – no matter what I did, it would result in ending her life if I went back!" I growled.
"You're forgetting this one," she said, and I saw a vision of Bella still human, warm and gentle with her cheeks flushed red, sitting beside me on my piano bench. I heard an unfamiliar but beautiful lullaby cascading around us. Funny, but it wasn't a piece I recognized.
"That path could still end in her death," I mumbled, but I was losing my resolve. Ever since Esme had mentioned Mike Newton, his name was weighing on my mind, bugging me like a fly that I kept swatting away, but the second I laid my hand down would come to rest right beside me once more. The thought was persistent, refusing to back away regardless of how frustrated I got. I would never admit it aloud, but the thought of Bella with Mike did bother me, but I couldn't figure out why. It bothered me enough that my resolve waivered and I could imagine myself returning to Forks, to see her again, to see what was going on.…
"Come home, Edward," Esme said softly, drawing me back to the present. She wrapped her arms around me comfortingly. "We won't let you hurt her."
"Maybe," I finally said after a moment of consideration. "Things are getting a little strange here, anyway."
"Oh, do you really mean it!" she cried, elated, hugging me tightly.
"Yeah, I do. I told Tanya that nothing could happen between us and it got… uncomfortable," I explained.
"Really? I couldn't tell," she said, surprised. "Tanya has been very pleasant, a perfect hostess since we arrived!"
"Yes… she hides it well," I sighed.
"Well, all the more reason to come home, then," she smiled at me.
"I suppose so," I agreed. "How did I know your guilt trip was going to do this to me," I chuckled.
Esme smiled innocently. And Alice, she thought.
"Alice?" I asked.
"Oh no, I didn't mean to think that!" she moaned. "Forget about it."
Alice? I wondered to myself, but couldn't put the pieces together. I sighed, and decided to let it go for the time being.
"But um, can you last one more week, dear?" she asked, chagrinned.
"I suppose so… but why?" I asked.
"Well, everyone else really missed the girls," she explained, "and we figured you'd take quite a bit of convincing – Carlisle took a week off and everything."
I laughed. Carlisle taking a break from work at the hospital was hard to imagine. "That's fine," I grinned. "One more week, then back to Forks." Suddenly, something in my brain clicked. "Alice," I growled. "She told me to tell Tanya! She knew things would get awkward and I'd come home, didn't she?!"
"Of course not," she said, but I could see in her thoughts that was indeed exactly the case.
"I never should've listened to her," I grumbled. "Well, come on; let's go back to the house. Alice is probably bouncing off the walls with excitement at my decision, and I'd like a word or two with her."
Esme beamed at me, and we turned and ran back to the house. She was elated, but something inside of me was still unsure. Was a return to Forks really the right choice? Would my presence just put Bella in danger? Would I kill her? The possibilities were both numerous and disturbing, but it was hard to feel upset with Esme so euphoric beside me. I tried to clear my mind, and just focus on the quiet, peaceful forest rushing around me as I ran.
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There's chapter four! I hope you enjoyed it - like I said before, I'm gonna try to get the next chapter or two up very soon! Please review, they inspire me to keep going :)
