"Thank you, sir."
"You don't need to call me sir."
Soon finished pouring out the tea for Young, putting the kettle back on the stove and sitting across from her, sipping from his own mug. "I adopted you. Formality isn't necessary."
She nodded absently, pushing her wet hair out of her face and combing it with her fingers.
He repressed a frown of concern, nodding towards her cold toast. "Eat. You barely ate dinner last night."
Young looked up at him, then looked back down at her toast blankly.
"…I can't really hold anything down."
The frown escaped. Soon stood up, brow furrowing. "Really? For how long?"
"I don't think I'm sick. Just tired. They're only nightmares."
The paladin arched an eyebrow, going to a cabinet above the sink, the only overhead cabinet in the room that wasn't filled with pots and pans. "Our state of mind affects the state of our body." He pulled out a little thermometer, holding it out. "Humor me."
She paused, then took it, slipping it under her tongue. He crossed his arms, a little part of him that he had thought had gone away with Mijung aching to touch her. It had felt so nice to have her in his arms when he carried her to her bed the night before, but he tried to muffle the memory. He wasn't blind to the fact that the children were suspicious of his intentions, even if Young was less vocal about it. He refused to do anything that could possibly jeopardize her fragile faith in him, and he didn't want to push Tai away any further.
He leaned back against the counter, averting his eyes until the thermometer gave a cheerful beep. Young took it out of her mouth, showing him the screen without looking at it.
His frown tightened. "One-hundred and two. You won't be going to school today."
Young's eyebrows shot up and she looked down at the thermometer.
"Get dressed in something more comfortable than school clothes and get into bed. I'll inform a school official."
She looked back up, the color draining from her face. "But… I don't feel feverish…"
"Our senses deceive us sometimes."
She looked back at the thermometer, her complexion pallid.
"Go on. I'll see if I can find something light for you to eat."
He turned away, missing a flash of fear on her face, and began searching the cabinets for saltines.
"…Yes, sir."
She quickly gathered herself, throwing away her uneaten toast and putting the dishes in the washer, scurrying out fast. Soon looked back after her, frowning in thought, before taking out a small case of crackers and pouring a glass of water.
The darkness rippled, whipping out, and he had to stifle a flinch and a grunt of pain at the sudden burning lashed across his cheek.
He touched the spiritual wound, unable to stop the wince this time, and gave it a moment to fade.
The Evil was getting stronger.
He shook his head and walked down the hall, going into the children's room as Young was settling into bed and her brother, hair still sopping from the shower, was sitting on the edge.
Of course, Tai immediately looked up and glared at Soon. The paladin was starting to get numb to any and all dirty looks from the boy.
"My sister's coming to school."
He resisted the urge to sigh and put the crackers and water on the bedside table. "Not with a fever." He gave a small nod towards the girl, looking at her eyes for a moment. "You're clever. One day of missed classes won't bring you behind." Of course he knew that that wasn't really what the boy was concerned about, but he really did his best to put the whole concept out of his head as thoroughly as possible. The idea churned his stomach and, he had to admit, it stung to think that the children would suspect that of him.
"Then I'm missing them too." He gave an unconvincing cough. "I'm sick."
Soon frowned at him, arching an eyebrow. He was surprised that the boy still had the energy to demonstrate so much vitriol—the shock of his first training session had effectively muted Tai before he took a shower. "No harm's going to befall either of you. Go get your books. School begins in twenty minutes."
Tai glared, tensed like a puppy facing down a pit bull. "Make me."
Soon had to stifle another sigh. He really did have a long way to go.
Well, he couldn't say he wasn't to blame for that. He was the one who didn't investigate the nature of Mijung's unmaking beyond asking the gods.
"Tai, go to school."
Young's blessedly steady voice cut through his thoughts before they went down the dark road that had been taking hold of him of late. He blinked away the demons, feeling them gnaw at his heart, and concentrated on the here and now. On the children.
Tai looked at his sister, horror written on his face, and she gave a small smile. Even Soon could tell it was forced. "I'll be fine. Shoo."
"Young—"
"I said go to school."
Her voice was sharp, just the same way as Mijung's had been whenever she was beginning to get irritated. The effect made Soon's eyebrows go up again.
"But Young…"
The girl softened, then lightly punched his shoulder. "I'm sick. I just need some rest and I'll be fine."
"…"
Tai looked down and jumped off the bed. "Whatever you want."
He shoved his hands in his pockets, casting Soon one last venomous glare before leaving the room.
The paladin looked after him, stifling another sigh before turning his eyes to the girl. "Young, I made a promise to you. My word is my law."
The girl kept her eyes on her blanket, fiddling with it and staring at something he couldn't see. He began to walk to the door, resigned that he probably wasn't getting a response anytime soon.
"Please don't go."
He paused, then looked back at her, frowning in confusion. "Why? I was under the impression you were frightened."
She hugged her knees, looking towards the window, the Evil rippling. "If I'm alone, I'll fall asleep."
"…"
Soon sat on the bed next to hers, crossing his arms on his legs. "You need it. Rest helps you get over illness."
"No. It just scares me. It never helps." She shook her head, the lines in her face looking even deeper than before. It felt a little like he was looking at a feminine version of his own face—tired and worn down.
He resisted the urge to give the girl a hug.
"There is nothing to be frightened of. I won't allow you to be hurt again." He cocked his head, a disturbing thought lurking in the back of his mind, teasing him mercilessly. "Young?"
"Mmm?"
"Have you or your brother ever been taken advantage of?"
That seemed to pull her away from any dark thoughts holding her mind. She looked up at his eyes, difficult to read.
"You both seem… inordinately concerned with it."
His throat was constricting. His heart was pounding. His breath was coming quicker. It took him a few moments to piece together why his body was reacting so violently to this one little question, but when he realized, it only made the feeling worse.
He was afraid. He was afraid of what she would say.
She hugged her knees to her chest. "No. No one ever messed with us."
He had difficulty holding back a sigh of relief.
She rubbed her eye gently, averting her gaze. "But bad things happen to all of the adopted kids. Usually they were adopted by perverts, but if that doesn't happen, then there's a freak accident, like a house fire. There was always something wrong with the orphanage. The whole area."
"But you wanted to be adopted."
Young shrugged. "I'd rather have any of that happening to me than to be trapped in there anymore."
His stomach clenched, the memory of her offer on their first day of knowing each other gripping him for a moment. "That's not a healthy attitude, Young. No matter what you want, your body is not an acceptable payment." He stood up, trying to mentally shake the image out of his head. "I'm going to bring you more blankets. Try to eat. I'll be back in a moment." With that, he left.
She didn't stop him this time.
He heard the door to outside slam. Well, Tai wasn't there anymore. He worried that his presence was driving a stake through the twins, but he wasn't sure how to go about fixing that. He had faith that their relationship would mend itself when Tai began to feel less on edge. If Tai began to feel less on edge.
He sighed, looking up and down the hallway. It was a warm place, but ever since he had brought the children there, the warmth seemed artificial, like a badly-made mask. One side of the hall was lined with windows while the other with five doors, a sixth one at the end. Before, the walls, even the second floor, had resonated with positive feelings—the happiness of generations of loving well-adjusted families. Now it was saturated in something horrible that he didn't dare name, to the point where he had blocked the second floor from anyone going up there. Sometimes, darkness takes a form. He could swear he heard thumping above them at night.
Soon tried to shake off the thoughts, but they were already going down a bad road and the blackness in the air only served to weigh him down.
Mijung.
Every night, the image of his wife trapped in hell overtook him. He imagined all sorts of horrific scenarios, wondering how on Earth a noblewoman used to working in a magic academy could take care of herself in a world like the one Young described. Mijung… how must it have felt for her? Living in fear for her life every day, learning how to survive alone, trying to raise two children he should have been there for…
He was knocked out of that train of thought when a fist connected with his shoulder.
The paladin jerked in surprise, looking to see who had just hit him, only to find a familiar redhead glaring at him.
The men stared at each other for a while.
Girard crossed his arms and wordlessly brushed past.
Soon looked after him for a moment, waiting until he was out of sight, then gave a small nod of thanks.
He turned away again, going to the linen closet and pulling out two thick wool blankets. He doubted that Young would need them, but seeing as it was winter and she was ill, he wanted her to have them close by just incase.
By the time he got to the bedroom again, she was asleep, her face creased in sleep and her hands moving restlessly. He paused, then, keeping his footsteps quiet, he went to the foot of her bed and lay the blankets down before stepping back and observing her.
He didn't know it was possible for a single person to remind him so intensely of two different people until he had met the children. Tai looked a lot like his mother, but it was difficult to hold onto that when he kept twisting his expression in such awful looks of hate and suspicion. In comparison, Young looked more like him, but he still couldn't help but think of her when he looked at the girl.
But even Mijung in the wake of their first and only miscarriage, an awful event that took its toll on both of them, didn't have such a consistent expression of exhaustion by day and terror in sleep. And when Mijung had been in pain then, he had been able to hold her. He didn't dare hold the girl. He didn't dare to even touch her without explicit necessity. For some reason, that made the ache to hold her even harder to ignore. The ache to hold either of them.
She whimpered softly in her sleep and turned to her side, curling in a fetal position.
He frowned, thinking for a moment. His paladin abilities were leaving him for sure at this point. He was okay with that, but he had never done Evil, so he hadn't officially fallen.
He wondered if he could still call on the power of Good.
He shifted to the side of her bed, kneeling so he was face-level with the girl. Tentatively, he brushed his fingers against her forehead, her skin a little too hot against his own.
Black magic shuddered, searing his face, and he could swear that he saw an outline of a rune on her skin for a moment.
He leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips against her brow.
"I told you to stay here with the kids."
"One person can't get all the food we need."
"And if we both get offed, Young and Tai don't stand a chance."
The subjects of conversation gurgled sleepily in their makeshift crib, cuddled close and huddled under the thickest blanket the adults were able to find. Mijung looked at them briefly before breaking into a coughing fit, covering her mouth with her sleeve.
"And now you're sick. You shouldn't be around the children."
"And I'm their main source of food. What do you think is worse for them, Yutrin? Getting sick or not eating?"
The goblin sitting on the edge of the bed sighed, his ears drooping, and he just continued to dab a clotting slice in the woman's arm with antiseptic. "Mijung, I'm doing my best."
"Well, maybe treating my like an invalid isn't a very good 'best'," the woman snapped, glaring at him. The dim light coming from the window only accentuated the dark circles under her eyes and stress lines carved in her flesh, making each and every scar on her face look a thousand times more obvious.
"I'm not asking you to stay back because I think you're an invalid, Mijung," the goblin said quietly, finishing his cleaning and setting aside the soiled cloth before looking at their meager first aid kit again. "I promised I'd take care of you and the kids. That's what I'm trying to do. Especially right now, they need their mother. Their immune system is based off yours, and the longer they have that as support, the better. Someone needs to stay here to watch over them and someone needs to find food. We all know which is the more dangerous job. Let's face it: I'm the most expendable of either of us."
She tore her arm away from him, standing up and looking like she was inches from hitting him. "Will you stop calling yourself…? ! Ugh, never mind. Never you mind, Yutrin." She paused only to cover her mouth and let out another fit of violent coughing. The goblin stood up, concern written on his face, but the woman jerked away from him. "Don't touch me!"
The goblin held out his hands, gold eyes staying fixed on her. "Calm down, Mijung. You're being unreasonable. Just sit down for a moment and let me wrap up that cut."
"I'm being unreasonable? I'm not the one who insists on going out there all alone when I'm needed!"
"Mijung, we need to eat. You especially, seeing as you're meant to be feeding two people besides. I leave so we can survive, not so I can go out gambling or something." He reached out one clawed hand, resting it on her cheek and running his thumb along it. "I know it's dangerous and you don't like it. Trust me, I don't like it either. But our priority needs to be the kids, and they need you more than they need me."
She slapped her hand away, her face getting red. "What are you trying to do? Get killed? Are you too much of a coward to do it to yourself that you're just running around hoping that a monster will do it for you?"
He flinched visibly. "Mijung, I stopped m—"
"Oh yeah, you stopped yourself, but if a monster does it, then it's not your fault, right? Is that why? Do we not give you enough meaning? Do I not give you enough meaning?"
"Mijung, you know I—"
"Why the hell do you do this? Why are you even helping if you can't stand life so much? They're not yours. No matter what the hell you do, they're never going to be yours!"
The moment it left her lips, she obviously regretted it. The anger disappeared from her face and she covered her mouth, as if that would somehow keep the words from coming out, but the honest hurt that flashed across the goblin's face before his expression darkened said quite clearly that it couldn't be unsaid.
"Yutrin, I…"
"I know they're not mine, Mijung. And I know you're not mine. I know that none of that's ever going to change."
She flinched at his tone, immediately walking up to him. "No, Yutrin, please—" she cupped his face in her hands, but he pushed her away, the cold in his eyes palpable.
"I'm not deluding myself into thinking I can somehow be a part of your family. I'm a goblin. Regardless of what you say, I know that you'll never move past that."
She shook her head, her eyes looking a little more glassy and her lip trembling slightly. "No, I—"
He waved off her protest impatiently. "I'm doing what I can to keep a promise, but if you don't want my help, I'll go."
Color drained from her face. "Please—"
"The only reason I don't go is because I have more integrity than to leave a single mother of two out in the wilderness. If you're only keeping me around to be an extra hand, tell me. I don't like being toyed with. Then again, maybe it was assumed I knew that."
Mijung shook her head again, having to bite her lip hard for a moment. "Yutrin, I'm s—"
"Save your breath, Mijung. I know you meant it." He brushed past her, something to the gesture much more painful than any violence he could have dealt. "I'm going to go cool off."
Giving her one of the darkest looks ever, he turned away and left.
Tai sat up in his crib making little whimper sounds in the back of his throat while Young rolled over and sat up, staring.
"Damn it. Why do I treat him like this…?"
She sank back down on the bed, covering her mouth, her shoulders beginning to tremble. "Why did I have to throw that in his face?"
Tai leaned his forehead on the cradle bars and made little cooing sounds.
She leaned forward and hid her face from the children, sobbing softly. "Yutrin, please come back. I don't want to be alone again."
Tai only cooed softly one more time.
Soon recoiled, stifling a cry of pain and covering his face. For a moment, his skin felt crispy and burnt.
The feeling left, but he removed his hands to find that he had first degree burns on his fingers and his lips.
He looked at the ground, trying desperately to regain his composure and slow down his heartbeat. Mijung…
"Mmm."
He perked in surprise and looked up at the girl only to see the ghost of a smile on her face, the lines smoothing out. He sighed softly in relief despite the unease that was now clenching in his chest. He'd taken away at least some of the darkness. Maybe she would be able to rest easy for the day.
He lightly touched her hair and gave her forehead a quick kiss, ignoring the pain of the burns, and stood up.
"Sleep well."
And then he was gone.
A/N: Posted. Now sleeeeeeeep...
