Year 7
My dearest Wash,
It seems that Simon and Kaylee are expecting their own bundle of joy. Kaylee has the worst morning sickness that I've ever seen and my own morning sickness was no walk in the park, you know what they say about awful morning sickness too. Maybe twins are in the new couples future, serves them right too I can't tell you all the times I've walked in on them having sex.
River is excited, though she's had a rough year herself. It's been very calm and River doesn't do well with boredom. We've been trying to give her things to do but there isn't much she can do. Mal gets paid well to ship things for the wealthy but jobs are still far and in between so River spends most of her days out by the cute little stream behind my house sketching or learning how to play more instruments and things of the like. Last week she asked me what pilot school was like hoping that I'd asked you before you died and I couldn't tell her.
It gave me pause though, because you and I told each other everything but I couldn't seem to recall a time when we talked about your days as a trainee. I know of your favorite memories there but I don't think we ever talked about the logistics. I'm almost scared that we did talk about it and i'm just forgetting the small details about your life which terrifies me more than anything.
I voiced my fears to Mal and Inara and they were quick to comfort me but they didn't have any advice for me. After all, they still have each other and have never gone through losing their significant other.
I ended up pulling out that ridiculous photo album that you insisted we make, I usually pull it out on Emma's birthday so that I can show her pictures of you-so that she'll know what you look like-but I felt the overwhelming need to look at it. I sat and flipped through it for hours, looking at all the pictures we took together. You really were obsessed with taking pictures that year after you found that old camera at the flea market. There are pictures in this album ranging from formal group pictures to a shot up Cobb's nose. It's not the most traditional album but it's all I have.
I put the album away just before Emma got home from school and proceeded through my day. I've been getting better and better at not letting myself get caught up in the funk of missing you. It makes me proud of myself.
I have to go now, Emma just got home from school and I have to go make sure she does her homework before going over to Mal's to play with some new video game he and Cobb bought.
All my love,
Your Zoe
Year 10
My dearest Wash,
I can't believe it's been ten years since you've been gone. Our little girl's ninth birthday will be in a few weeks and she wants a space party, and as a present she wants to go up in Serenity for an a crossed galaxy trip during her summer holidays.
Ten years. Wow. When I talk to most people about losing someone they say that time will heal everything. But I don't believe that. Yes it doesn't hurt anymore, but at the same time I can still feel the edges of where you used to be. Time doesn't heal but it changes the way you feel. I still catch myself turning to tell you something or turning to meet your eyes when Mal says something ridiculous. Can you believe it? It's been ten years since we lost you and I still act like you're right here with me.
But I suppose you are right here with me. I'd like to think you are watching over our overly mouthy daughter and watching over our friends. I've never been one to believe in God, but if there ever was a God to exist in these vast galaxies I'd like to think that he'd let you peek in on us from time to time.
Everyone else is good. Great really. Kaylee and Simon did end up having twins, just like I thought, and now they have two very rowdy little boys who never give their mom and dad any peace and if you can believe it Kaylee is pregnant again and she is praying that it's a sweet little girl like Emma. Of course Kaylee doesn't have to deal with the majority of Emma's tantrums but I can appreciate the sentiment.
But what's the most surprising thing that has happened in the last few years is that Cobb has actually found a girl. A bonafide sweetheart of a girl if I may add. In fact this girl is Emma's third grade teacher, Miss Deidre. I never thought I'd see the day that Cobb would be completely smitten by a lady who doesn't scare the bejeezus out of the rest of us (we still haven't forgotten a girl by the name of Raven who inexplicably tried to rob us blind in the night). Everyone has given them their stamp of approval. Even Emma, who is the most picky about Cobb's girlfriends since she and Cobb have been close ever since she was born, is ecstatic. The couple is already even planning to get married this winter which is surprising enough, Cobb says that he's waited this long to find the woman who completes him so why wait.
That did put Mal and Inara in the hot seat though, they've been together for ten years now and haven't gotten married yet. I worry about them sometimes but I guess marriage isn't right for every couple. They're happy enough-they still fight like cats and dogs-but they love each other that much is true. But that didn't stop Emma or the little twins from asking them when they were gonna get married.
Sometimes I feel like such an old woman when I see all of our friends paired off. I don't think I'll ever remarry, it's not something that had ever crossed my mind until I sat at a dinner table surrounded by our family and realized that I was set a part from all of that happiness that they felt with their significant others. I haven't felt that sort of connection with anyone since you died, it's almost as if that part of me died with you. I don't know. I don't think about it as much anymore, Emma is so active that I don't usually have time to dwell on it. She has several lessons to go to in a day-she couldn't decide on just one hobby so she's doing several and weeding out the ones she's bad at. I laughed when she told me this because she's just like you, she doesn't like dwelling on the things she can't do. Instead she moves on and excels at the things she can. She's amazing.
All my love,
Your Zoe
