STORY NUMBER FOUR: SODOMY AND STARLIGHT
Relationships in this show hit a new high when the controller for the Stargate began writing soap operas with the teams around him. When he heard about close calls, or a team being stranded on a planet all alone, or other situations, he would write, and it often involved sexual relations.
"I found his secret stash when he first started writing reports for me. I had just become a General, and I required him to write of his daily duties, like dialing the gate, maintaining the gate, trying to keep Carter out of the gate room, trying not to get Carter to leave the supply closet, and numerous others," O'Neill explained. "I found a folder full of typed pages, none of them reports, but all extremely interesting, until I got further into the…I guess you could call it a novel, but I'm not sure."
The part that caught O'Neill's attention was a story about his latest pick to add to SG-1. The story stated the he and Dr. Daniel Jackson commenced in homosexual sex acts while on a planet where they were stranded. O'Neill couldn't believe the words on the page and was forced to confront his favorite gate room technician.
"I called him into my office, which wasn't hard, and I sat him down for a hearty conversation about what I had found. He broke down in front of me, sobbing over the very creative works. He was far from proud of them, yet I liked the stories. I asked him for more, and he composed himself to get them. He returned with a cart that had a locked storage area. Inside were four large paper boxes filled with stories of his many years here. It was…shocking to say the least."
Jack O'Neill was not terribly terrified by the works, but the magnitude of papers prevented him from publishing the works, despite his wants.
"I would have loved to publish it, no doubt, but the work involved was too much. I'm ready to retire, and going through all three thousand of those pages changing names and everything else would make me tired, and I hate being tired. Could you excuse me? I want a nap. Get the fuck out of my house," he demanded.
"But you invited us inside," we offered. It did not work and we were removed from the property by his 9mm.
Though this interview made us believe the stories would never be good for anything, we discovered in a follow-up interview that Jack O'Neill had left the works with a friend of a friend of a publisher and that the works had been fully edited. Who did the editing we'll never know, but the works may hit shelves soon.
They never will, but keep writing stories that could easily fit into the book of horror, the soap opera written by a gate room worker, a man played by Gary Jones whose name I cannot remember to write this fanfic. The soap opera had a chapter called 'Sodomy and Starlight,' and that was the chapter with the new guy and Daniel. I can't remember the new guy's name either because I didn't give a fuck after Richard left the show. Without him it sucked, even though Michael Shanks is my Hockey Hunk and is über gorgeous and he is an amazing actor. Now, to get on with the show. Hate on me if you want, but this is my fanfic and my opinion. Feel free to Flame me with yours. I don't care. Now, next story coming up!
