"I don't understand…" Osgood admitted, slowly running her hand up and down one of Kate's legs, which was flung over her lap. "Em's going to her father's for lunch. We just said goodbye. Why would she have any impact on our afternoon at all?"
"My daughter and her father do not see eye to eye on anything." Kate informed her bluntly. "She then feels the need to provide me with a running commentary of everything that he says or does that annoys her." She smirked and caught Osgood's hand, tangling their fingers together. "Trust me, the sound of my mobile pinging every couple of seconds is incredibly distracting."
"I think I'm looking forward to this." Osgood mused, chuckling as Kate groaned and turned to bury her face in the sofa cushions behind her.
'Is it too early to leave yet? xox'
'Yes. x'
"She's been with him for about ten minutes." Osgood laughed. "Surely he can't be that bad? You were married to him, after all."
"Mmm… why do you think I worked such long hours?" Kate replied, making the younger woman furrow her eyebrows slightly as she attempted to work out whether the blonde was serious.
'Oh, God, she's arrived. Apparently my look is 'so on trend' and she'd 'kill for' hair like mine. Hers is bleached to fuck, so maybe I should log a concern with the police? Just in case she tries to shave my head or something… xox'
"Do you think Emily genuinely dislikes these women, or is she just…?"
"What? Trying to make me feel better by seeing the worst in them and pointing it out in her own, delightful way?" Kate raised her eyebrows and smirked. "No, I think she genuinely dislikes them. My Em doesn't suffer fools gladly and it would appear that her father is rather fond of fools."
'I actually think she's an alien. Do you have a database you can run her name through? Erica Atkinson. I honestly think she's worth checking out. xox'
Kate frowned as she read the message aloud to her girlfriend. "I thought his latest was called Izzie?" Quickly sending her daughter a text, asking the same question, Kate waited almost impatiently for the answer.
Osgood watched her curiously, wondering at her girlfriend's interest in her ex-husband's lovers. "Maybe he got bored of her and moved on."
"Wouldn't put it past him." Kate muttered, rolling her eyes.
'Izzie's long gone. I actually miss her… God bless Gym Barbie and all who sail in her. Bagsie I get to be the one to hit her with a bottle of champagne, anyway… xox'
"What?" Osgood laughed in bemusement. "Why's she hitting her with a bottle of champagne?"
"It's what's said and done when a ship is launched." Kate shrugged. "Don't ask me why she's applied the tradition to her father's ex-girlfriend. Unless she's implying that she looks like a boat in some way?"
Unable to stop herself, the younger woman burst out laughing. "That's a brilliant image."
"Apparently his taste in women has changed."
"It's obviously taken a turn for the worst." Osgood replied. "It's like he's traded you in for a much cheaper, less aesthetically pleasing model. I mean, I'm not complaining, because it means that I get his old model." She looked quickly at the blonde. "No, wait… I didn't mean that… it came out wrong. You're not old… you're gorgeous and you're mine. Not in a possessive way…"
"You're so sweet." Kate told her softly, interrupting her rambling and reaching out to fiddle with a strand of the brunette's hair.
'Are you going all UNIT on her ass or what? xox'
'If not, there's a fish knife here that looks like it could do some real damage. If this bitch looks at my hair once more… xox'
'Don't you even think about it Emily Stewart. x' Kate shook her head as she pressed send on her response to her daughter's threat-laden text.
Osgood arched an eyebrow. "Emily wouldn't really attack her, would she?"
"I wouldn't put anything past my daughter."
"You don't mean that."
Kate sighed. "No, I don't think she would actually stab anyone."
"What even is a fish knife?" The younger woman asked in confusion.
Her girlfriend laughed softly. "It's just a blunt knife with a slightly broader blade. It would be totally inadequate for stabbing someone, anyway. A steak knife would be far more useful in that situation, but since Daniel became a vegetarian, I'm assuming Emily's options are limited."
"Well that's… reassuring?"
Shifting slightly so that her thighs were covering Osgood's, rather than her calves, Kate reached up and cupped her girlfriend's face with her left hand. The younger woman leant into the touch instinctively. "I'm sorry…"
"What for?" Osgood asked, surprised.
"Dragging you into our drama. You didn't sign up for this."
"There's no need to be sorry. I like it… I like being included… it makes me feel… wanted."
"You are wanted." Kate assured her firmly. "So wanted…"
"Good, because I want you too. And Emily." She furrowed her eyebrows. "That came out wrong as well… you know what I meant. I don't want Emily… not like I want you."
Chuckling, the blonde pulled Osgood towards her and kissed her softly. "I know what you meant."
As she deepened the kiss, pulling the younger woman down on top of her and allowing her hands to get lost in the soft, brown locks, Kate's mobile pinged again from it's position on the coffee table. Shaking her head as Osgood started to pull away, Kate held her more tightly.
"Leave it."
"What if Emily's actually stabbed her?"
Chuckling against Osgood's lips, Kate shrugged and let one of her hands wander slowly down from its position, tangled in the younger woman's hair, over her shoulder and down her side. When she reached the hem of Osgood's t-shirt, she let her cool fingers slip underneath, delighting in the small gasp and shiver from her girlfriend at the contact.
"Leave it…" She whispered against Osgood's lips.
For a couple of moments the brunette did as she was told, far too focused on lips and tongues and hands to even contemplate thinking about anything else. When the phone vibrated twice more, in quick succession, she sighed and moved, hovering above her girlfriend and sending her a meaningful look.
"You should probably check she isn't on the run."
"I might commit murder myself…" Kate muttered, reaching towards the coffee table and snatching up the handset.
'He's just asked me whether I've found a nice young man yet. I swear he doesn't understand the concept of me being gay. Even when I told him that I'd been seeing a girl. He just said it wasn't the same. Maybe I should draw him a diagram… or get him to watch a couple of episodes of Lip Service? xox'
'I know! Can you and Os drop by and give him a live demonstration? xox'
'Too far? Sorry…you know what he's like. He's just really offensive and ignorant and self-absorbed. xox'
Kate pulled a face as she read the last text aloud. "Oh God…"
'Have you told your father about Osgood? x'
'No, of course not, it's none of his business. Why? xox'
"Kate…?" Osgood chewed her lip, her eyes wide as she asked an unspoken question.
Looking up at the brunette who had pulled herself into a seated position, Kate frowned. She realised at once what Osgood must be thinking and mentally kicked herself. Sitting up as well, the blonde reached for her girlfriend's hands and held them tightly in her own.
"Like Emily said, it's none of his business." Kate told her, running her thumbs softly over Osgood's knuckles. "My ex-husband refuses to acknowledge our daughter's sexuality. He hasn't stopped trying to set her up with various men since she came out. I don't want… he would be vile about you and I… I might do something…"
"I'm a big girl, Kate."
"I'm being selfish, Osgood. I couldn't handle it. I'm sure you'd be able to deal with it much better than me, but… I wouldn't be able to let him get away with whatever snide comments or vicious attacks he might throw at you."
'Mum? Are you alright? Is Os OK? xox'
Osgood reached across and took the phone out of her hands, glancing at the text and hitting reply. She typed the message, but handed it back to Kate before pressing send, allowing the older woman to make the final decision on whether it reached Emily.
'We're fine… better than fine. You can tell him about us. Tell him that neither of us has ever been as happy as we are now. We'll come and collect you later, so anything he has to say on the matter can wait until then. Os xxx'
"Os?" Kate looked at her in confusion. "You're not…?"
"I'm deadly serious." Osgood replied bluntly, she leant forward and smiled. "I meant it; I've never been this happy. I'm not ashamed of us, or worried about what he has to say on the matter. What does his opinion matter, really? What can he do to us? Sure, maybe he can upset us with his words, but he can't do anything else."
"I'm not ashamed." Kate told her quickly. "That's not why I think it's better we don't make it common knowledge, I just…"
"I know that. I understand that keeping things professional at work is the best idea at the moment, for both of us, and, really, I agree. I like this being just about us… no pressure or stupid comments or questions…" She smiled gently. "But this, letting your ex-husband find out, feels like something important… a big step forward."
For a moment Kate's eyes searched Osgood's. Then, chewing her lip nervously, she clicked send. Immediately the younger woman beamed at her and surged forward, threading her fingers through Kate's hair and reconnecting their lips in a fiercely passionate kiss.
'Really? xox'
'Really. x'
"Are you OK?" Osgood asked softly, tracing Kate's bottom lip with her index finger as she watched her.
Kate smiled happily, pursing her lips to place a kiss on the end of her girlfriend's finger. "I'm more than OK."
"I want to know what your ex is saying about us… I'd love to be a fly on the wall."
"You're strange, do you know that?" Kate chuckled, shaking her head at the grin on the other woman's face.
"I know." Osgood replied simply, pecking her on the lips.
'This is priceless… I think his head is going to explode. It's gone a funny colour, anyway… sort of orangey-purple? xox'
'Oh my God. Oh. My. God. xox'
'He literally just asked me if you were having some kind of crisis. 'IS SHE GETTING ENOUGH REST?' I told him that I hoped not because it would be an epic waste of Osgood. xox'
'… he's choking on his wine. On that note, I think I might leave now… xox'
'Don't worry, I won't be back tonight… Gordy hasn't had a visit from his favourite sister for a while ;) xox'
"I knew it would be amusing." The brunette said when Kate read out the texts she had received in quick succession. "But speaking of epic wastes of Osgood…"
