The Associate
Part 4
Kathryn's composure was irrevocably shattered. She had never felt so affected in her life. What she had expected was a pleasurable, passionate sexual encounter, but this had turned into so much more. She had just been loved in the most erotic way she had ever experienced. She had felt completely out of control, and she hadn't cared. Simply put, she had been overwhelmed by her desire to lose herself in the waves of pleasure only Ana could coax from her, seemingly with little effort.
Surprised by her intense feelings, Kathryn realized she shouldn't be. She had been fascinated by Ana from the moment the brilliant yet aloof woman had joined the firm. Although she'd tried to keep her distance, she was glad, for once, to have failed so convincingly. Noticing that Ana had redressed sans pantyhose, she fought to quiet her chaotic mind. Looking utterly adorable if not a bit rumpled, Ana quietly suggested she should leave. Kathryn's heart clenched, but she couldn't think of any plausible reason she could give to keep Ana with her without appearing vulnerable. So, instead she asked, "Where's your car?"
"At Wonderland station…"
"You took the T into town with the lobsters?" Kathryn broke in, amazed.
"I wouldn't have made it into town for another hour if I had driven," Ana replied.
Seeing the spark igniting in Ana's cornflower blue eyes as she defended her decision nearly drove Kathryn to embrace the fierce woman—so stunning, so intense, so—God! Instead, Kathryn said, "I'll drive you to your car." Her tone brooked no argument. During the drive, Kathryn warred with herself. Understanding at a visceral level just how different her reaction to Ana was compared to past trysts, she yearned to keep this tenuous connection alive. Yet, she'd spent so many years perfecting the art of taking what she wanted and moving on that she felt ill-equipped to act. So, she remained paralyzed, silent even as her heart shouted at her to do something, say something—anything!
Then, a stray moment flashed past her eyes. Like the tumblers on a lock, Kathryn suddenly understood how very momentous tonight was. Kathryn remembered the tightness surrounding her fingers, the taste of copper in her mouth as she licked them after bringing Ana to a resounding climax. "Ana…was tonight your first, I mean, am I your first," Kathryn hesitated. "Lover?" she finished reverently.
"Yes," Ana answered in a hushed tone.
"I, I don't know what to say. Why didn't you stop me?" Kathryn asked in a pained voice.
"I wanted to be with you and gave myself freely. I will never regret our time together." Ana answered firmly.
For Christ's sake! Kathryn thought frantically. I didn't even kiss her! I treated her so casually. I was so rough with her. How can she act like that was acceptable? Oh my God! What have I done? Her silent diatribe was stopped by a warm hand settling over hers. Looking at Ana, she saw soft eyes, warm yet serious, focused on her.
"I may not have prior experience, but I know my feelings well," Ana explained sincerely. "I had a choice. I could have stopped you. But I didn't want to. I hope you don't regret what we shared."
"No!" Kathryn took a deep breath to calm her roiling emotions before continuing. "No, Ana, I don't regret what we shared. I just might have done things a bit differently."
"Then I'm glad you didn't know. What you did, how you touched me, was perfect. I wouldn't want to change a moment," Ana declared, her clear blue eyes shining as brightly as the stars overhead. "You don't have to worry. This was entirely consensual. I can separate this from our professional relationship."
As the senior partner mulled over their conversation, she turned into the parking lot and, prompted by Ana's instructions, pulled up next to a silver Mercedes. I know I don't pay that well, Kathryn thought, intrigued by yet another mystery she wanted to solve regarding Ana. Shifting the car into park, Kathryn turned to face Ana fully, taking the riveting lady's hands into her as she gazed into pure eyes.
"Ana, I'm starting a new trial on Monday. It will run for several weeks. Can we put this," Kathryn motioned her hand back and forth between them, frustrated with her inability to grasp the words she needed to reach Ana, "whatever this is between us on hold until its conclusion? I don't know what you want after tonight, if anything. I only know that you've turned my life upside down…"
Kathryn felt exposed, uncertain of Ana's reaction to what they had shared. To the older woman's immense relief, Ana answered sweetly, "I'll wait for you, Kathryn. When your case is over, when you are ready, I'll be here."
Kathryn's head swam with the implications, with the way her name sounded on Ana's breath, and with the desire that coursed through her, urging her to taste those luscious lips—a luxury she had not dared allow herself earlier when she had been under the naïve assumption that she'd be able to walk away. Cupping Ana's cheek, Kathryn smiled in wonder, finding it hard to believe that this lovely creature would wait for her.
"Thank you," she whispered. Tilting her head, she brushed against chaste lips, just enough to convey her gratitude, her hope, and her promise to return in the not-too-distant future. "Drive safely." Nodding, Ana got into her car and waved before leaving with Kathryn's heart.
Kathryn worked from dawn until late into each night, strategizing over the best legal arguments to present on her client's behalf. When she lay in bed exhausted, however, her mind wandered over voluptuous curves, endless legs, tantalizing breasts, and glistening skin. She relived their lovemaking session incessantly, obsessively—a balm to her lonely heart. Only in her imaginings she added two crucial components: Ana called out her name as the passion overtook her, and they kissed and kissed and kissed.
Kathryn sorely regretted treating Ana with the same callous disregard as she had with past dalliances. Never had she granted her passing fancies any familiarity such as the privilege of using her first name or the meeting of lips. Now Kathryn thirsted for Ana's kisses. She imagined drinking the blonde in, tasting every part of her body, loving her completely.
She had resorted to one-night stands after her husband had left her for his client. He was a prominent attorney, too. Kathryn's heart was broken. She'd promised herself not to become that vulnerable ever again. Yet here she was pining for a junior associate, someone who could easily slap her with a sexual harassment suit or brag to others in the office, or flaunt herself teasingly day in and day out. Ana had done none of those things. Instead, she remained silent, offering polite nods when their paths crossed and quality work when required.
On the first day of trial, Kathryn made a point of leaving a check for the lobster purchase and a new package of hosiery on Ana's desk—a message that she had not forgotten what they had shared. The fiery redhead readily acknowledged that she was conflicted by her need to focus on the case and her need to see Ana. That battle was promptly settled when she found Ana seated in the courtroom gallery. Thereafter, each day, the older woman's gaze was drawn toward the gallery where Ana's glowing eyes captured her completely.
Some days Kathryn was too raw from the hard-fought legal battle to hide her desire behind the unaffected expression she normally maintained. Her mask would slip, and her heart would show plainly through fierce eyes. At such times Kathryn fought to regain her balance by tamping down such feelings beneath propriety, duty, and reputation. She had a job to do, and many were watching closely. Still, she learned quickly to not look toward the gallery until directly before the lunch break.
Ana kept her promise of not pushing or even hinting at what they had shared. It was as if they had never discovered how magical, how essential, they were together. If it weren't for the emotions she saw in those bright eyes, Kathryn might have believed she had imagined everything. Those brief yet intense soul connections fortified Kathryn, strengthening her resolve to focus on the case and not worry about her future with Ana.
After the first few days, the beguiling associate began to accompany Kathryn back to the office during the lunch recess, discussing the case and offering her views. It became commonplace for them to argue the salient points of the case. In addition, Kathryn began to alter some of her strategies as a result of Ana's remarkable insight.
Two weeks into the trial, Kathryn looked into the gallery expecting to see Ana's pure, steadying gaze. However, Ana was absent. Troubled, Kathryn made the walk back to the office alone. Twenty minutes later, the driven woman glanced toward the door when she heard a knock. Ana stood there with lunch in hand for both of them. Kathryn smiled fully, delighted by Ana's thoughtfulness and ecstatic to see the young woman.
Oh, I'm in deep, Kathryn acknowledged as the intense emotions flowed over her. She frowned, uncertain she could control her emotions.
Ana moved toward the desk quickly. "What is it?" Embarrassed, Kathryn looked down, gasping when she felt warm breath on her bent neck. As she hesitantly caught Ana's gaze, noting the younger woman's look of astonishment, she felt a hot flush spread across her face and neck. "What?" Ana repeated softly, kneeling in front of the spooked woman and slowly reaching for Kathryn's hand.
"When I looked into the gallery," the older woman admitted in a low voice, "and you weren't there, I didn't like it. I've grown to depend on you, on your being close by me. I don't know how to deal with these feelings. I've never needed someone before, not the way I find myself needing you." Kathryn looked away, disconcerted by how strongly she felt. She was this close to crossing the distance between them and taking Ana into her arms. At work.
Impossible. Unthinkable. Yet, she had to grip her seat arms to prevent herself from doing so.
Kathryn's jaw twitched and her nostrils flared as Ana gently stroked her cheek and whispered, "I am always with you. Don't you understand that? I'm sorry I wasn't there today. It was my turn to be Lawyer of the Day at the BMC. I have to finish up after lunch. Otherwise, I would have been right there, waiting for that moment when your eyes capture mine."
