Chapter Four: Show Me What True Love Is
Yuki could hear the shower running across the hall and he fell backward into the pillows. He snuggled into the pillow Hatori slept on all night. He could detect traces of his scent in the fabric and smiled. He remembered how great Hatori's hands felt on his skin, his finger on his lips, how it felt to lay in his arms all night. It was amazing to be held so close and tightly. He wasn't sure what Hatori thought of him, but he was pretty sure that he was falling in love with Hatori.
Suddenly, the front door burst open just as Hatori came out of the bathroom, dressed in slacks, towel drying his hair. The voice that spoke grated Yuki's nerves and jarred him right out of his thoughts.
"Good morning, boys! I have come to grace you with my beautiful presence!", sang out Ayame.
"My, my, Tori-san, look at you all bare chested! A sight for sore eyes this morning!" He swept into the room in with his usual flourish, and upon spotting Yuki, dropped the bags he held in his hands straight on the floor and rushed over. "Baby brother! I have come to sit with you while Tori-san is away today! We are going to have so much fun!"
Hatori decided to reign in Ayame, as Yuki suddenly looked nauseous at the thought of spending hours with his brother. "Actually, Ayame, Yuki will need to rest. He really isn't up for much excitement. In fact, I need to address his wounds and we have to get some food in the boy."
"Right! Miss Honda prepared enough food to keep you both feed for a week! I'll go heat up some of the leek soup she sent for you Yuki!" Ayame grabbed one of the bags and practically danced out of the room.
Hatori unattached Yuki's IV and gently removed it from his hand. He wouldn't be needing it anymore. Once the thermometer was under Yuki's tongue, he helped him out of the shirt he slept in and observed his wounds. They looked considerably better, after being washed and cared for, some of the older ones peeling, fresh pink skin beneath them. He got to work reapplying more ointment to the cuts, trying to keep the promise he made himself in the shower: As far as Yuki was concerned, he was going to remain professional.
With that done, he checked the thermometer. Yuki was only running a low grade fever, he'd give him some antibiotics with his breakfast and that should help. Ayame came in with the soup, and seeing Yuki's battered body, he gasped, one hand flying up to his mouth. Yuki stared a hole into the floor. Hatori helped him back into the shirt and Yuki climbed into the bed.
Ayame pulled up a chair and said brightly, "Here's your soup! I bet you're hungry!" He scooped up a spoonful and held it out to Yuki.
"Seriously, Ayame, I can feed myself!", Yuki snapped.
"No, no, I insist! Besides, it's the only way I can be sure you eat it all!"
Yuki looked desperately at Hatori. "Is there a sedative or something you can give me to knock me out until you get home? I'm not even hungry, really!"
Hatori smirked a little. "Sorry Yuki, but as your doctor I must insist you eat. Ayame, I've left some pills here on the table, he needs to take those after eating. Make sure he drinks plenty of water. I should be back in three to four hours. Call me if there's an emergency."
"Ok, Tori-san! Come on Yuki, open up! I'll do the choo-choo…."
Hatori left to grab a shirt and leave to complete his duties for the day, hearing Yuki cursing Shigure for sending Ayame and yelling at Ayame for treating him like a baby.
The hours seemed to be crawling by slower than a slug, and it was excruciating for Yuki. Ayame just would not shut up, he blabbed on about this and prattled about that. After a while, Yuki tuned him out by pretending to read a book Tohru had sent in his bag of things, all the while thinking about Hatori. Yuki blushed in embarrassment as he wondered about whether or not Hatori had taken care of his problem in the shower or not. Heat flooded his body as he thought about it, and decided he better not think about stuff like that right now. There was no way he wanted to explain to Ayame why he suddenly had a hard-on.
Closing the book, Yuki looked over at his brother, who was checking himself out in a compact mirror just like the ones he'd seen girls carry around. He closed his eyes in irritation, and as nicely as he could said, "Ayame, thanks for your help, but I'm really feeling tired now and I'd like to sleep."
Ayame snapped the mirror shut. "All right, little brother". He placed the book on the nightstand and much to Yuki's humiliation, tucked him in. He looked up and met his brother's lavender eyes. "Yuki," he said softly, "I'm sorry about whatever you went through. I'm sorry you can't rely on me for protection, and that I'm powerless to do anything for you." Yuki saw the anguish reflected in his brother's golden eyes, but before he could reply, Ayame stroked his hair and left, shutting the door quietly behind him.
Suddenly, Yuki really was tired and he rolled over and fell asleep almost instantly.
When Yuki woke up, the sun had nearly set. He didn't realize how tired he'd been. He pushed himself up and padded out to the kitchen to appease his stomach, which was what woke him up in the first place. He heated up some more leek soup and noodles. He gobbled it down in a matter of minutes, glad no one was around to see him eating like a refugee from a concentration camp. He had no idea where Hatori was, so he decided to take a shower. His skin itched.
He rooted through the bag Ayame brought him, and found Tohru packed his soap, shampoo and lotion. Bless her! He grabbed a pair of navy blue silk pajamas, and went and got in the shower. When he was done and satisfied his hair was dry enough that it wasn't going to go haywire on him, he walked out to the living room intending to watch tv. Instead he found Hatori sitting one end of the couch, snubbing out a cigarette and nursing a glass of amber liquid. He gestured for Yuki to sit.
Yuki sat at the other end of the couch.
Hatori turned toward Yuki. "As I said to you earlier, if you can, I'd like to know what went on at Akito's." Hatori watched as storm clouds rolled into Yuki's violet eyes, and his body stiffened a little. "Here," he said, holding out the half filled glass to Yuki, "this will help." Yuki smelled it, identified it as whiskey, and tossed it back like he'd been drinking the stuff for ages. He felt the warmth spread in his stomach and handed the glass back to Hatori, who refilled it with raised eyebrows.
Yuki took a deep breath, and softly recounted his story.
(flash back)
Akito had shoved him down into the darkness of that cellar, where he had spent a lot of time as a small boy. He tried not to hyperventilate, but the darkness was like a black hand around his neck, squeezing ruthlessly. He was afraid he was going to have an asthma attack. His heart was pounding so hard. He curled up in a corner and shivered for hours. He fell in and out of restless sleep. He was starving, thirsty and really needed to go to the bathroom. Finally, the door flew open and Kureno came to get him. He grabbed Yuki's arm and wordlessly hauled him up into the light, shoving him in the bathroom.
"Get yourself decent, Akito wants a word."
Yuki sprung on his chance to relieve himself, and greedily gulped down some water from the sink. He splashed to cool water on his face and neck, he felt hot, feverish. The door opened when he turned off the sink, and Yuki walked back out to his mat and kneeled, praying to whatever God would listen to please, please let Akito not put him back in that hole. Yuki heard the swish of Akito's robes and his hard, cold voice demanded that Kureno leave them.
Yuki didn't even think the door was even closed all the way before a whip snaked out of no where and slashed across his back. He gasped, the pain tearing up his eyes, but did not emit a sound. CRACK, CRACK, CRACK. His body was shaking now, in effort to hold in his screams. His skin was on fire. Akito grabbed a hand full of his hair and yanked his head back, falling to knees so he was next to Yuki's ear.
"Yuki, you have always been my favorite. But you have betrayed me, pining after some silly girl. A silly girl whose life you have no part in! Never can you hold her, or be intimate with her, for you are cursed. How could you inflict your cursed life on a young girl with a future full of promise? You are so selfish, Yuki Sohma. Not to mention you never considered my feelings, either." He let go of Yuki's hair and commanded Yuki to take off his shirt. Yuki removed his shirt with trembling hands.
Akito poked his sharp nails into the welt marks raised across Yuki's back. Yuki bit his tongue.
"This will never get the point across. And you need to learn this lesson, I'm afraid."
The whip cracked again, this time across bare skin and Yuki couldn't hold it in. He cried out in pain. Again, and again, Akito beat him. Yuki was screaming now, and against everything that told him not to move, he tried to escape the pain. Akito laughed manically as he slashed Yuki's arms, back and chest. Blood leaked everywhere , and Yuki's screams and pleas fell on deaf ears. Finally, Akito had enough and threw down the whip. He propped the sobbing boy up against the bed. He licked blood that was oozing from a cut on Yuki's shoulder, and then forced his tongue in Yuki's mouth.
Yuki wanted to vomit, but he knew better than to try to fight Akito. Akito's hand was pulling his hair so hard it hurt, and the kiss was rough and violent. Akito ground his cock against Yuki's thigh until he couldn't stand it anymore. He pulled it out and yanked Yuki to his knees. "Spit on it, you fucking whore."
Yuki did as he was told. He knew how this game worked, what was expected of him. He pumped and stroked Akito, who swore and tore at Yuki's hair, calling him a dirty slut and moaning. Yuki could feel Akito tense, and Akito threw back his head as he came into Yuki's hand. Yuki released him and stared at the floor. When Akito caught his bearings, he re-clothed himself. He grabbed Yuki around his neck, choking him. "That's as close to love as you're ever going to get, Yuki."
Then he called for Kureno, who drug Yuki screaming back to the cellar and threw him back down, locking him into darkness for another whole day, until Hatori came and rescued him.
Tears slipped from Yuki's eyes as he finished telling the horrified Hatori his story. He wiped them away angrily and met Hatori's eyes.
"If that's what love is, I NEVER want to be loved, NEVER!"
Hatori gathered the boy in arms and hugged him tight. Both he and Yuki were surprised at this uncharacteristic display of affection. He pulled back , still holding Yuki and said, "Yuki, that's Akito twisted and perverse mind. Love is absolutely nothing like that at all."
Yuki stared back into Hatori's green eyes. His heart pounded from being so close to Hatori, held in arms. His face was inches from Yuki's. Before he knew what he was doing, Yuki's hands clutched Hatori's shirt and he pulled Hatori's lips to his. Hatori's eyes widened in shock, and he gasped slightly from surprise, which gave Yuki the opening he needed to get his tongue inside Hatori's mouth.
Something happened when their tongues met. It was like a shock of electricity ran down Hatori's spine. He closed his eyes and kissed Yuki back, their tongues tentatively touching, exploring each other's mouths. Hatori leaned Yuki back so he lay beneath him on the couch, one arm supporting his weight, the other tangling in Yuki's gray locks. The kiss deepened, and Yuki released Hatori's shirt in favor of frantically unbuttoning it. His hands roamed over Hatori's smooth chest, feeling all the hard planes and lightly defined muscles.
Yuki's hands were so soft, and everywhere he touched left a trail of blazing heat. Hatori couldn't help but moan into their kiss, such a sexy sound that made Yuki's cock harden. He sank his nails into Hatori's back and pulled his waist down to meet his own, their hardness meeting each other. Finally, Hatori pulled away, needing air. He looked at Yuki's flushed face and lust filled eyes. His chest rose and fell rapidly.
"Yuki", he said, his voice low with passion but laced with uncertainty, " I don't know what's going on between us. This has to be the most irrational thing I've ever done. You have to understand though, that although you are healing nicely, we can't do this. I can't risk hurting you, nor can I ask you to partake in sexual acts after what you've been through with Akito."
Yuki couldn't hide his disappointment or his hurt. "You don't want me?", he asked, his eyes sad. There was no way he could stand rejection right now. He knew, without a doubt, he was in love with Hatori.
Hatori smiled and stroked his face. "It's not that. It's that I do want you, but I can't ask you to try something like this in your physical or mental condition right now. I've never done anything like this before, embarrassing to admit at my age," he said blushing. "But when you are healed, I'd be beyond honored to show you what real love is like."
Yuki considered this and smiled. "It's a date then, and I'm going to hold you to it."
They crawled in Hatori's bed together that night, and despite having slept all day, Yuki slept soundly all through the night in Hatori's arms.
