I'm not even going to make excuses for how long it's been. I'll just say I'm sucky and leave it at that. Fortunately, the final chapter is finished and will be posted soon so my suckiness will not continue through 2015 as well.

Twilight is still not mine, but this "ward" is. I'm cool with that.


"Yes, yes, yes!"

"Yes?"

"Oh God, YES!"

"I'm the happiest," thrust, "Man," thrust, "Alive!" Edward grunts with a final drive of his hips. "Ahhhh!"

"Mmmmmmm." Sated and blissful, Bella wraps her arm around Edward's chest and rests her head over his heart.

~O~

"I can't believe you said 'Yes.'"

"Hmm…what?" Bella's expression changes from euphoric to confused.

Eyes shining with hope, Edward explains, "We don't even have to set a date right away."

Bella's confusion turns to panic and she immediately sits up. "Wait, wait! What date? What are you talking about?!"

Now Edward looks confused. "What date? The wedding date of course."

"The wedding? What wedding?"

"What wedding? Our wedding? What do you mean, 'what wedding?'"

"What do you mean, 'what do I mean?'"

Edward looks at Bella, gathering his patience. "I asked you to marry me and you said 'Yes.' In fact, if my memory serves, you said 'Yes' three times, possibly even four."

Trying to push away the lingering haze of post-orgasmic bliss, Bella replays the last several minutes in her head, finally understanding the miscommunication.

As if to a child, Bella takes a breath and explains to Edward, "Sweetheart, you can't hold me to anything I said mid-orgasm. It's against the rules."

"Rules?"

"Yes, rules. The rules of orgasms."

"Rules of orgasms? There are rules of orgasms?"

"Of course there are rules of orgasms!" Bella seems alarmed by this.

"Are these 'rules,'" Edward air quotes, "published somewhere? I think I need a copy. I'd hate to break the rules again!" It's obvious that he is now impatient and slightly angry.

Also exasperated, Bella continues, "Well, they're not written down or anything. It's not like you can go pick up a copy at the DMV. But they're understood. Like orgasm etiquette. People say all sorts of things mid-orgasm and you can't take them as truths. It's just…against the rules."

"These stupid-ass rules just robbed me of my fiancée! I don't think I like them." Edward pouts at this admission.

Desire to soothe his wounded pride gives Bella's words a warm and pacifying tone. Running her fingers gently through his hair, she explains, "Honey, you know I love you. But I'd like to actually remember saying 'Yes' to your proposal, as opposed to it being a misconstrued part of my sexual release. And like your little unplanned dip in the lake, this isn't the story I want to tell our children." With a wink, she lays back down, her head once again over his heart.


Many thanks to my pre-readers kikki7 and prettyflower. Your patience and support is immeasurable and this literally would never get finished without you! I also want to thank TheFicChick, HollettLA, and JenJadeEyes for your input at the "business lunch" I forced upon you at the 2013 TFMU. And yes, it took me this long to finish and post. I told you I was sucky. As always, thanks for sticking with me!