StrayNotes - Camus


Disclaimer: Read it and weep. I am not owning them. Though, for your entertainment, I still borowed them... Shhh, not a peep about that to anyone, though.

Shout Out: Camus, the Ice Diva of the QUARTET NIGHT. I both loved and hated him - he was easy on the eyes, but his way of thinking was convoluted enough to make my brain into a pretty pretzel. He was the hardest to write down becasue of his duplicitous personalty and me having to reason his insane moments of being totally agreeable one moment and being a total ice dictator the next. /head meets desk/. Yeah, he is totally from different height /dry snark/. And just for your amusement - Camus is officially the youngest member of QUARTET NIGHT! Seriously, I exploded into a hyenish laughter when I read that little tidbit on the official site when I was riffling for data. This is the fourth - and latest part and his own POV on the happenings. Enjoy. With a big bowl of ice cream along, if you have it. He really merits it.

Warnings: NotAU, serious spoilers from second and third season, and overuse of the word 'commoner'. Now when you were warned, happy reading of the ice cubes that are his thoughts.


The most important thing for an idol is to shine brightly - brighter than any other star in the winter night sky.

This is the chief rule everyone in the entertainment industry religiously abides by. The stars have to shine - sparkle brighter than anyone else to catch the attention of the watchers among the millions of other stars.

Even when you are on the top, you have to reach for even greater heights. It's the journey that never ends. Pain, blood, tears, nothing matters, but to reach another level of the ephemeral, to be closer to the perfection…. Or as close you can be.

Her Majesty … She is our brightest stars shining the light of hope on the dark, velveteen sky with a cold brilliance. We all defer to her mercy and kindness, for she is the one that keeps the Silk Palace alive. By her decree, I am in this strange land called Japan to retrieve something infinitely precious to her. I took to my mission with great enthusiasm - it had been a truly an honor to be chosen among so many of others, for that meant she trusted me with her life and the lives of countless others.

What I didn't expect was the… hodgepodge of happenings I had been thrown in upon my arrival in that strange country. The people here don't have a Monarch to reign over them – instead of that, they have a system, called democracy, and they advance in society either by merit or by greasing some wheels with money. I've met both kinds and many characters had the honor of being bestowed with my presence. They were still mongrels, after all, no matter the fancy titles they were girding themselves with.

I had the luck of being scouted for the Shining Agency as a part of the Queen's agreement with Shining, and immediately upon that, I had been thrust into some kind of a singing band. QUARTET NIGHT. Four members, including me, and as dysfunctional that it practically hurt my brain to even think about completely non-existent probability of us being successful, no matter the voices and charisma we had been gifted by at out birth. Even then, I still outshone them by a large margin.

We didn't get along, and that was an understatement. Especially that Kurosaki mongrel. How dare he argue with me that his disharmonious noise masquerading as rock was an appropriate way of expressing music! The music should have been grand and magnificent, and instead of that, he pushed for some paltry, screechy tunes under the guise of them being powerful and passionate. Ha. As if the S3 judges would be so unrefined to accept it. Mikaze's suggestion of having the song with 120 BPM was just… not good and I can't even fathom just what Kotobuki was thinking, wanting to sing a song that would make listeners happy! We are not STARISH! We are QUARTET NIGHT, we do the sophistication, seduction, magnificence, but not the overly happy, peppy tunes they somehow managed to enchant the public with!

No, I am not bitter. I am not jealous. I simply want to be the best there is – it's a given, like the fact that I am a noble standing above commoners. Is it considered dishonest to covet to be on the top of the world?

Now that I think about being dishonest, she comes on my mind. Nanami Haruka. An ordinary commoner with an extraordinary talent of composing music which allowed her to skirt the rules and graduate along with her sextet of singing partners into the music business under the wings of Shining Saotome. Shining is definitely not an ordinary person and he may seem spastic at moments, but what I can give the man is that he definitely knows his business. STARISH had been the proof of the man's instincts. A motley crew that managed to shake the Japanese music scene with their brilliant debut and even further with their win at Utapri.

All because of her, Nanami Haruka.

Her songs were the one that were partially culpable for exposing STARISH's singing to the world. I don't know why, but when I had been listening to the songs she wrote for out kouhais' I sensed a bit of… magic, if you can call it like such, in them.

She reflected their personalities and singing styles unwaveringly, like a perfect mirror, making for a splendid background for their songs and voices. Even when she had begun her composing career, her talent had been obvious, despite her stumbling on the way. Still, I doubted that her style could elevate QUARTET NIGHT past out seemingly unending plateau we were trudging upon before Shining's assignment of her to us.

We were just too different, with too many sharp edges, too wary and distrustful. If we were professionals who could sing everything, this particular ability was more of an hindrance than joy, festering a frustration within when we had to make at least somewhat acceptable song on the basis of other composers' last works for us. They thought of us as perfect, while we were anything but. They saw a smooth surface, ignoring us chafing beneath it. We were good at pretending – disregard Kotobuki, Kotobuki makes some whine or another, acting as a comedic relief, we acting as our cool selves, be semi-polite to the media, meaning no curses for Kurosaki and me holding my temper back when it came to the incompetency of my assigned assistants at the shots and outright drooling of the girls present wherever I went. Mikaze, I believe, had the least amount of trouble with that kind of happenings, though I had to get used with his constant recording of the happenings. It was… unsettling, to say the least.

It was tiring, to have two faces. Being a kind, benevolent, perfect idol on the outside, and keeping all the crankiness, frustration and anger inside in the darkest corners, withholding sharp tongue and abstaining form showing impatience. Aijima truly tested my threshold for violence, that little whelp. Who did he think he was, for daring to rise so shamelessly above the rules? Idols can't love one person – they love and are loved by the public. Break this one rule, and your lucky star falls from the eternally changing sky. I truly thought of him to be a hopeless case, but somehow, STARISH managed to reform him… slightly. I am not holding my breath that his complacency will be constant and he had proved my theory right when he went against me as I had demanded of Nanami to be my personal assistant when she was to write my song.

I have shown her both of my faces. The light one – the perfect idol. And the dark, selfish one - the one of refined aristocrat always getting what he wants and not tolerating the slightest of mistakes from the commoners surrounding him. I was not unreasonable - I knew how it was to live with the weight of the expectations always on my shoulders. As a Count of Permafrost, I knew my duties and obligations all too well and I had to be steadfast and unyielding in carrying them out. I had to be perfect, one way or another. And after so long of a time, this became my habit, my lifeline and the creed I lived up to. Always be perfect. Always seek perfection. This was my life - always above commoners.

And then she came – or rather, she stormed into the reading room where I was reading a book, accusing me quite brazenly, that I am dishonest. That commoner - I had half the mind to tear her apart, making her cry and beg for forgiveness. But I still looked at the composition –

And I had to flee the room to keep up my own composure.

"I heard that you never do anything in earnest. After serving that, I realized that it's true. So I wrote you a song that will inspire you to be sincere."

Those words chased me like pack of angry wolves, nipping at my heels. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to rail at her. But seeing - even if just in my mind – her composition – even if I attempted to deny it - I had to admit it that she saw me.

It made me clench my teeth with frustration, How was that she, the commoner of all things, had such an insight to the deepest parts of my psyche, where nobody was allowed to go? I wanted to return, to order her to rearrange the whole damn thing –

-but this song, it was like an aurora of the cold night sky, the one above the Silk Palace. I could almost see it, almost feel the cold nipping at my nose just like it used to have when I was just but a small kid watching the nature's spectacle playing across the night sky above me in helpless awe –

Cold. Vivid. Enchanting. Saintly. Did she really see me like this?

Recalling the melody, I began to mouth the words to accompany it.

So be it. She had challenged me to be sincere. Who was I to deny her answer to her question?


People knelt before the force of the song, their eyes wide and bedazzled by the melody that was forceful like blizzard and yet ephemeral like northern lights.

Only she remained upright - with her wide, golden eyes and half-parted lips, looking at me with wonder.

The music spun around me, giving me wings and unlocking my voice. I hadn't known I had forced myself to abandon so much of my true personality when I had to play an idol for the ignorant masses….

Sometimes being honest with myself… it wasn't a bad feeling.

And she smiled at me, her golden eyes liquid under the half-shadowed lights.

Yes, it really wasn't.


I looked forward to working with Nanami again. Besides, if anyone could give us the key to winning the S3 stage, it was her. Our edges had been smoothed, even if just a little bit, and that should have gone a long way toward the end result. However, it wasn't so, courtesy of our dispute on what our song should actually sound like, and after that, we were unpleasantly surprised by STARISH's unanticipated advancement unto our territory, courtesy of our composer.

Yes, ours. Nanami Haruka had managed to get QUARTET NIGHT work together – not by forceful meshing of our voices alone, but by taking in account or characters, preferences in singing and voices. She had managed to create a miracle I had previously thought to be impossible to make. That night, instead of bickering and squabbling with Kurosaki and Kotobuki trying to run an unsuccessful interference between the two of us, interspersed with Mikaze's statistics' remarks, we finally clicked. And it was like breathing or watching or walking. Natural. Of course, we had some kinks to iron out at first, especially with choreography, but song-wise… we were in complete accord.

And we didn't want to lose that. STARISH didn't even know just what kind of a jewel were they hiding in their midst - or maybe they did, and she was the crux of their efforts and successes in the equal measure. However, we intended to change that. We would always be on a higher level than them, and that meant that we were ready, willing and able to take Nanami from them, preferably on a permanent basis.

If there was one rule, it was the rule of the strongest and best, the rule of the winner. We intended to be the winners to collect the winnings – not only in the shape of performing on S3 stage, but more importantly acquiring one Nanami Haruka as our sole composer.


"The world will be ruled by Heavens!" That little upstart's voice grated at my nerves. Though I do have to admit that their show and song were impressive, but Otori's arrogance was supremely irritating.

After all this - QUARTET NIGHT's work both individually and together to polish ourselves to greater heights, even going so far as to get Nanami to rearrange our song to be even better than the first version we already had thought it had been a pinnacle of perfection, to the exhaustive practice aand giving it all on the stage, we were introduced to the enemy that had been hiding within the shadows.

My lips twitched into a smirk as my eyes became colder with amusement.

"Nice, nice," I heard Kotobuki call out, and his voice was just shy of lethal, even as playful as it sounded out. "This is an incredibly interesting development. But QUARTET NIGHT will be the opening artist!" He called back to the arrogant interloper. We nodded in unison.

We - QUARTET NIGHT - will win. We had faith in the abilities not only of ourselves, but also in our composer. She was the wings that will enable us to pass this threshold, however stormy it may have been.

We will win, and the Silk Palace will be saved.