Two weeks had passed and I was sitting outside the doctor's office waiting for my OBYGN appointment. Jane was by my side reading one of the women's magazines, well looking at the pictures anyway. Over the past two weeks I had felt blessed, Angela and Jane spent every moment we had free together wither it be playing games or watching the game, it was something that had become quite enjoyable. Jane had also spent the last two weeks at my house, only heading to her house to bring more of her stuff over, she'd already brought Joe Friday with her and her tortoise had turned up on the first weekend she had stayed. To be perfectly honest, I liked the idea of her moving in with me, but disliked the fact that she was sleeping in the guest bedroom. Somehow, I would have to admit my feelings to her, I just didn't know how. The only downside to this pregnancy was waking up every morning for the past week and vomiting, a sudden move or really foul odour made me want to hurl and I hated it. I felt a gentle nudge to my side and looked at Jane who had rolled her eyes at me but had a smile on her face. I looked up and saw my doctor, Doctor Andrews and smiled
"Hello Maura, please follow me" she said and I nodded grabbing my purse and following with Jane right behind me.
I was sitting on the bed and Jane was right by my side, one supportive hand on my shoulder, and her other entwined with mine. I felt safe and reassured, whilst Doctor Andrews prepared the ultra sound.
"You alright Maur?" Jane asked and I nodded
"Yeah I'm fine, just a little unsure" I said and she looked at me confused
"I don't know if I want to know the gender of my baby, I mean at this stage and me not being able to clearly see what will be shown, I won't be able to figure it out. However if I don't find out then I have a feeling I might regret it, but I also like surprises" I said conflicted, I felt the reassuring squeeze from Jane and looked up to see the reassuring smile that she gave me
"Follow your heart Maur" she whispered and I nodded smiling my thanks to Jane as the doctor stood at my side with the machine ready. She warned me off the coolness from the gel and I smiled
"Ok so at this stage of your pregnancy Maura, I can see that your baby is developing at the proper rate, I can see its hands and feet, toes and fingers are starting to develop and aren't webbed any more. It is also very healthy, so keep up what you're doing. Do you want to find out the gender of your baby?" she asked. I thought about it, could I stand not knowing, would I be able to wait that long? I bit my lip
"Yeah I would" I said and saw the look Jane gave me, I smiled back at her and she broke out in the most adorable grin
"Right well, it looks like your baby is going to be a little girl" Doctor Andrews said and I squealed in delight. Jane was smiling still and I felt like I could kiss her right then at the good news but I didn't.
After my appointment Jane and I headed to the nearest park and we sat at one of the tables. I looked out at the young families gathered around and smiled, putting a hand on my abdomen a smile on my face. By the beginning of March next year I would be walking around with my little girl. I had never felt like this before but it was a feeling I never wanted to get rid of.
"You alright Maur?" Jane asked and I nodded"Yeah just thinking about the future" I said and she smiled.
"It's looking pretty good for you" she said and I frowned, when I looked over at her she looked like she was about to cry
"What's wrong Janey?" I asked and she shrugged trying to brush it off and change the subject, but I wouldn't let her.
"Come on Janey please tell me" I begged and she sighed
"I just I'm happy for you, and I promise I'll be here for you, but I just feel like this is all the stuff that I'm missing out on because I lost my baby" she said and I smiled sadly reaching out and holding her hand
"I know it's not the way you wished it to be Janey, I mean I never saw it coming either. I mean I never planned on getting pregnant but these things surprise us when we least expect them to" I said and she nodded. To be honest, I was a little upset with her answer. I was hoping she might give just a little hint of what she was feeling, I guess I was never that lucky.
When we finally arrived home, Jane decided to prepare some lunch. So whilst she did that, I picked up the pregnancy book that I had left on the coffee table. When Jane handed me the plate, I smiled and thanked her. She made my usual Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches and on her plate was the same. I started eating and then Jane asked
"So what have you found out about your pregnancy?" I turned to her and smiled she seemed genuinely interested so I told her
"Well as you know by the beginning of the tenth week the placenta is fully formed and the nutrients have started to flow through from me to the baby. The facial features are defined and her tooth buds have started forming, she's starting to grow her finger nails and developing her finger prints, she can open and close her fists and curl her toes, she's probably kicking up a storm right now" I said laying my hands on my abdomen, where there was a slight bump starting to show. Jane looked at me and smiled
"What else?" she asked
"Her vital organs are all growing and the umbilical cord is pumping in red blood cells to her, and then carrying them away. Her kidneys have formed and will start producing bodily fluid. Now that I'm at fourteen weeks her eyes and ears are already in place, she can even scrunch up her face and grimace" I explained and she looked at me, smiling as I did so. I smiled too. This was probably the only time I could talk about all of these things and have her undivided attention.
"I really can't wait to meet her Maur" she whispered and I smiled
"Neither can I Jane" I said.
After lunch Jane and I talked about work and when I was going to take time off work, who was going to take on the Medical Examiner role whilst I was on maternity leave, and who would look after the evidence garage and lab. When I suggested getting someone in to do all of that, Jane rolled her eyes, and said that was why she had Chang. I nodded in agreement, somehow I'd forgotten about her. So it was sorted. I would go on maternity leave some time in December, and bring in Dr. Hagen, who had been generous enough to help on multiple occasions, and he was also someone I knew wouldn't annoy the whole police department whilst I was gone. I would have to sort that out when I returned to work on Monday.
We didn't do much for the rest of the day, just sat and watched movies before I promptly fell asleep on Jane's shoulder. It wasn't long however until I felt Jane picking me up and carrying me up to my bedroom. She placed me down on the bed gently and turned to leave. I woke and shivered when I couldn't feel her touch any more.
"Jane?" I asked and she turned slightly
"What is it Maur? Are you alright?" she asked concerned. I nodded, a weak smile on my face.
"Then what is it Maur?" she questioned and I held out my hand to grab hers
"Will you sleep with me?" I asked. She looked at me, shocked, so I explained
"Please no funny business, I promise I just need the support" of someone I love, I added silently. She paused a moment before she stripped out of her jeans and got into bed. The first thing I did was move closer to her, but not close enough for us to be touching.
I dreamed that night about the future without Jane in it, and when I saw her being shot, I bolted upright and screamed. Jane was sitting next to me trying to calm me down and I sobbed into her shoulder as she ran a soothing hand up and down my back
"It's alright Maur. Whatever it was, isn't going to hurt you any more" she said and I nodded trying desperately to calm down. When I did I fell asleep in her arms, and that was how I found myself when I woke the following morning. Her arms were wrapped around me for most of the night, man I had serious problems that needed to be dealt with.
A/N: Hey guys so I found time in my busy week to get this posted and I really have to say a big thank you to my new editor and my idea person: stlouis.7936! You have been such a great help to me and a great sounding board and we've only just started :D Love you all so much thank you for the support. Please review and tell me what you think :D
