Chapter 4: Slowly Falling in Love
Hermione yawned, slowly raising her head from her pillow, which appeared to be breathing steadily. Hermione's mocha eyes required a couple of seconds to focus through the haze of sleepiness that lingered after having been asleep for just a few hours. She had continued pondering about too much before finally falling asleep, hours after her companion had. The quite regular fall and rise from Minerva's full bosom underneath her head eventually had aided her in thudding asleep. As she quietly directed her eyes to her companion's, she immediately saw that Minerva already had awoken. Hermione's eyelids momentarily fluttered. Minerva didn't seem really bright.
"You're awake," Hermione noted.
"I have been for a while," Minerva breathed, before raising, so that Hermione slid down from her bosom and rolled onto the bed beside her. "You have been tossing and turning for hours until you finally fell asleep. I chose not to wake you."
Hermione nodded, watching as Minerva moved herself to the edge of the bed, back directed at her. "Minerva?" Hermione whispered, voice cutting through the silence in the air between them. Minerva stilled, and even though she didn't say anything, Hermione almost intuitively knew she must be listening. She slowly rose further and crawled over to where Minerva sat, before settling on her knees behind her and letting both hands rest onto Minerva's shoulders. She quietly buried her nose in the older woman's shoulder, nuzzling it, before letting her lips fall onto the almost non-existing stretch of exposed skin at her neck.
She could feel the warmth of Minerva's fingers when she laid her hand upon hers and squeezed. "Don't," Minerva whispered like so often at this point. Hadn't she meant more than a night of fun then? Hermione swallowed, head resting on the older woman's shoulder for a while. One hand slowly lowered itself down her side and lovingly stroked the small of her back. She almost immediately thought of what had happened three years ago, with the Stunners. Minerva had landed quite hard on her back, and even though Minerva McGonagall was one who usually didn't tolerate pity or anything such, if you squinted really close, you could sometimes notice that she still suffered from it. She hadn't really been the same anymore. She didn't seem quite as flexible anymore, and suddenly Hermione felt exceptionally guilty for having handled her so rough that night.
Hermione couldn't say how long they both sat there in silence, until Minerva moved to get up. At that point Hermione suddenly gathered enough courage for the question she had meant to ask for months, but just hadn't had the strength for before. She couldn't bear it any longer when again Minerva made to turn away from her, though. "I did hurt you that night, didn't I?" She questioned. She immediately supposed the lack of answer as a yes and let go of Minerva at once, sitting back and wrapping her arms around herself as a chill suddenly ran across her spine. The warmth that Hermione usually felt being near the object of her desire was exchanged by a sudden icy cold feeling in her heart, that slowly but surely spread through the rest of her being… spidering through her system like a venom… in about the same way that her lust for the elder woman usually did. "That's why you have been turning awayand not only from the fear to be caught."
For just a moment Minerva didn't know what to say to that. She turned to the much younger girl in her bed and noticed her teary mocha eyes and the shivers that visibly racked her body. Afraid for what would follow if she actually did, Minerva forcibly suppressed the need to wrap herself around Hermione. She had been taught that loving someone of the very same gender was nothing but unethical. She too had learned relationships between teachers and pupils weren't allowed. She had solemnly sworn never to do any of it, yet…
She really had eyed one too many of them in her years at Hogwarts, usually resulting in a lot of awkwardness between the two involved. In most cases the teachers only were being regarded as guilty and mercilessly kicked from school. They were actually adult and considered to be more responsible. It hadn't happened often, but it certainly had. Never had it been nice to watch. Just for that reason, there were school rules. She couldn't believe that she, Minerva McGonagall, had broken them by letting her hormones speak and had ended up making mad love to a much younger female pupil at the school which she lead. She couldn't actually believe she was merely continuing to break the rules every night she let this girl into her bed, even though nothing sexual happened. A few months in a whole lifetime weren't long, yet…
Minerva's head shook. "No," she whispered, feeling the need to at least give the girl some reassurance. "You didn't hurt me that night."
At that moment Hermione suddenly burst into tears and sobs. Minerva could no longer suppress the need to hold her and inched closer to her, enveloping Hermione in her embrace, quietly stroking her back. She felt a nothing less but irrational need to keep the girl safe, and that she felt that she could achieve best by holding her right then. And whenever that happened, reassurance and calm would wash over her as well. And even though this battled against everything Minerva had been taught and learned, she could feel herself slowly growing closer to her pupil and fall in deep love with her. Something that felt so good couldn't possibly be unethical, could it? Wasn't it at least worth trying then?
She quietly closed her eyes. Her family hadn't been right on more than one account, it had shown through the years. Her mother and father and the rest of her family had been very disappointed when she was sorted into Gryffindor, after the rest of her family had been sorted in Slytherin. Through the years she had come to find just how cruel Slytherins could be especially to Gryffindors and was happy she never was one, even though her family praised everything of Salazar Slytherin so high, like his love for Purebloods. They had thought wealth was about everything as well. Minerva had soon discovered that it actually wasn't everything. When she was only a teen, Minerva had already known her family was mistaken on that account and had set one's abundance in kindness and other such traits that were appreciable among companions higher rather than their abundance in money. Couldn't they be mistaken about men belonging with only women and the other way around either? However… "There will be serious repercussions if anyone discovers, though," Minerva whispered. "For both of us."
Hermione slowly pulled away and looked into those soulful teal green eyes. "If both of us remain silent about it, no one has to know. The portraits certainly won't tell."
"I know," Minerva said, "but I rather not take the risk. Maybe the upcoming Easter holiday will be good for us both. We'll be apart, at least for a while. That's less alluring for us both to end up in bed together." Minerva then took a deep breath, trying to lift the veil over the battle in her mind. Hermione at least earned to know, didn't she? "This goes against everything I have been taught. I grew up in times no one particularly condoned same sex relationships. And even though I don't believe that it should matter if you both love each other, it is rather awkward. It really takes a lot to get used to, but I do try." Hermione just nodded, the ice in her heart slowly beginning to melt again at these words. Minerva actually thought her worthy to fight for then. "And then the fact you're my pupil." Minerva's voice rose significantly at that last word.
"I won't be for that much longer anymore," Hermione whispered, still looking into those mesmerizing green eyes.
Minerva nodded. "Mm-hmm, but that incidentally leads to another fact that's not so easy to oversee."
"I don't care about the age difference between us," Hermione whispered at once, both of her hands cupping Minerva's cheeks to cradle her face. "When we are together, age doesn't even matter in the least. When we're together, we're one," Hermione whispered, letting one hand travel up to lay upon Minerva's bosom, right above her heart. "I love you," she whispered, never once leaving Minerva's eyes with hers.
"I love you, too," Minerva whispered, "but this… really can't happen anymore." With this, she most likely meant ending up in bed together as headmistress and pupil.
A Cheshire cat grin spread across Hermione's lips, making her glow beautifully in the early rays of sunshine that peaked their way through the curtains. "What did you just say?" She questioned, wanting to hear those four wonderful words again. She hadn't really anticipated them, but they felt so unbelievably good to hear after mere years of having longed for her in that way.
"I love you, too," Minerva whispered, realizing what Hermione meant. At once Hermione dove into Minerva's arms, lips almost painfully crushing on hers. Minerva's eyes closed in the sensation, and she slowly let herself float along, joining into the moving of their lips against one another, their hands… It took all of Minerva's willpower to break away slightly panting. "This can't happen anymore!" She said, trying to sound strict as usual while repeating these other words, too.
"I know," Hermione chuckled, immediately launching herself at her lover again, continuing what she just had begun. Minerva slowly fell backward in the pillows, tongues dancing with each other in a rhythm of passion while their hands roved over each other's clothed bodies until time came for Hermione to be retreating to the dormitories of Gryffindor again. Even that had something arousing for both witches. And both of them knew that even though it couldn't happen again, they would break their promise… for it most certainly would happen again.
