"Care to tell me why I'm constantly waking up with Pop-Tarts in my pocket?" Killian asks as he slides into the passenger seat of the patrol car.
"Care to tell me why you are always falling asleep in vulnerable positions?"
Killian flushes, as she suspects he would. He reaches up to scratch behind his ear. Also predictable. She can't help but smirk at him as she reaches for the to-go cup in the crook of his elbow.
"It's Storybrooke," he counters. "I dare say I'm pretty safe."
"I don't know about that. There's evil queens and collapsed mines," she replies, thinking of her first day as deputy.
"Aye, there's that. But there's also a brilliant deputy protecting this town. I wager she'll protect me from danger."
"Daring? Wagering? What kind of gambler, are you?" she smirks at him.
"I like to think of myself more as a pirate, Swan. Like Han Solo," he says, straightening up in his seat.
"Han Solo?" Emma replies in surprise. She has to press her lips together to stop herself from smiling. And telling him that Han Solo is her favorite kind of pirate.
"You're a librarian," she finally says, waving her drink in his direction. "Shouldn't you be, I don't know, referencing books instead of movies?"
"Oi, just because I live in a small town doesn't mean I'm a one dimensional man!"
Emma smiles this time, glad her teasing hasn't gone the wrong direction as it had earlier in their relationship.
"And who could resist Princess Leia?" he adds.
Emma snorts. "I bet you like that gold bikini, huh?"
"The gold?" he splutters and Emma fears that she's reminded him of his old defense attorney, Mr. Gold. Killian had been out of his mind when she told him of the deal she made with Gold to save Ashley's baby. She and Mary Margaret actually had to hold Killian down to stop him from rushing over to the pawnshop to offer himself up instead like some sacrificial lamb.
"That's an awful scene, Swan," he says, affecting a shudder. "It's degrading to the princess and all women."
Emma raises an impressed brow.
Killian raises one back at her. "Of course I like her for her fierce mind, stubbornness and empathy," he gives her a half-teasing smile but his eyes are earnest.
"Good," she nods at him.
They fall into a comfortable silence as she directs the patrol car along the perimeter of the town. She had been resistant to staying in Storybrooke, mostly because she felt guilty about Henry and didn't know what place she should have in his life, but she also thought that she couldn't live a quiet life out here on the coast of Maine. Now, she looks forward to these drives with Killian. They are relaxing in a way her life had never been.
"Maybe we should have a picnic this weekend," she says to him. "The weather looks good. And we could watch Star Wars at the loft with Henry."
They've spent a lot of time together but none of them have been social events or with her son. She knows Henry likes Killian, that sometimes, instead of going home, Henry will hang out at the school library to read or do his homework. And apparently, listen to Killian spin tales. "He tells the best stories. But only when no one's around," Henry had said to her one day after Killian dropped him off at the station.
She can't imagine Killian telling stories to her. He can still be very shy and skittish on days that end with a 'y'. But he's also very earnest and caring and she knows if she's down, like Henry has been in the recent past, he would do anything to lift her spirits. She wants to hear one of these stories, told in his deep enthralling brogue, but she also knows he's not ready. Maybe as a first step they can share a timeless story of space adventure with her son. "I'm not sure if he's seen it though. Do you know?" she asks.
She waits a beat. And then another. And then frowns when Killian doesn't say anything in response. She sneaks a glance at him and finds him asleep against the passenger window. With a sigh, she pulls over.
She's already found him asleep at his desk at work and on a park bench of all places. She had placed his jacket over his shoulders the first time. The second time she had sat with him for a bit, until the sun began to set, and she had to wake him up and escort him to the docks. He wouldn't let her take him to his place but she saw him stumble towards some rundown units that seemed cobbled together with flat metal sheets.
She leans over him now so she can tuck her scarf between the window and his face. Her frown deepens when she gets a closer look at him. There are dark shadows under his eyes and his brow is furrowed even in sleep. She finds herself brushing his fringe from his eyes and he stirs.
"Sorry," she whispers as though speaking any louder would break some unknown spell.
Killian just blinks slowly at her as he tries to get his bearings. She can't help but watch as his dark lashes sweep his cheeks like butterfly wings.
"Fell asleep on you, didn't I?" he finally says, his voice deep and husky with sleep, and making Emma's mind go places they shouldn't go. "I believe that means I should be the one to apologize."
"Hmph," Emma manages. "I'm the one who woke you," she says after she clears her throat.
Killian mumbles a token protest but he's probably sincere. He tries to sit upright but Emma gently pushes him back down while her other hand continues to stroke his hair. "I think you should continue taking a nap."
"It would be rude," Killian almost whines.
"Care to tell me what's keeping you up at night then?"
"Keeping me?" Killian seems suddenly more alert. "Uh," he says, licking his lips. "Nothing…there's nothing…"
Emma sends him her patent glare. "Nuh uh, you already know about my superpower."
"I can't really explain it…" Killian edges.
She doesn't back down, one hand still on his shoulder, the other in his hair, and her gaze unwavering. He sighs when he realizes she's not giving him an out this time. "I'm having these strange dreams about my brother and uh…I guess… You see, I had this crush on Milah. She was a few years older than me and of course, never gave me the time of day. And he, Liam, could be a bit of an arse, and dated her because I was interested and well, because he could. "
Emma scrunches her nose in distaste. She does not like what she's hearing about Liam's treatment of his younger brother. "But in my dreams, Milah was with me. She wanted to be with me, she admired me," he says like it is crazier than believing in a cursed town. She wants to protest but knows if she interrupts, he won't finish.
"And Liam was still an arse but it was different. In the way it should be between brothers. Their…deaths, were different in my dream too, but they felt real. It was still all my fault." He shakes his head as though he can shake the images from his head. Emma has the same habit. She also knows how ineffective it is to get rid of something seared into your soul that way. "I'm just having a hard time sleeping," he finally finishes weakly, looking down and away from her.
She thinks of all the comforting things someone might say at this moment but they all sound rather empty. "So am I," she finally says as she starts stroking his hair again.
"Really?" he asks in a small voice that sounds like her past.
"Yeah, with that mining incident and everything that's going on with Regina…" It's not even the same but he cares about other people and that's enough to get him out of his own head. "I haven't had a decent night sleep since that night we fell asleep in the Bug together," she continues.
Killian looks up, startled, and then turns a deep red.
Emma can't help but blush, too. She hadn't realize it until she had said it – she hadn't had a decent night's sleep since they shared greasy onion rings and company and comfort that night in her Bug. Mary Margaret's place is nice and the bed softer for her back but Emma just doesn't feel at home yet.
At the startling thought of home and what could and could not mean home to her, Emma lets go of Killian and sits back abruptly in her seat.
She sees him eye her curiously but she turns away from him. "Your free period is almost over. We should head back." She starts the ignition and he doesn't say anything on the drive back. The silence is anything but comforting.
It's one in the morning and Emma is still tossing and turning on the borrowed floral bedspread. She sits up with a sigh and reaches for her glasses on the nightstand. Her hand comes into contact with a book instead. The book Killian left in the car.
Emma shakes her head. What's with Storybrooke citizens leaving books in her car anyway?
She meant to text him about the book but didn't feel like contacting him after this afternoon. She's still a bit shaken by how she easily and unconsciously she associated home with Killian. She's never even had a home so how would she even know what one feels like? She clutches the book in her hands. She's done this fall before. And she ended up alone, abandoned, in jail and pregnant. She needs to give this book back to him. Perhaps put some distance between them. She's not sure how long she's staying anymore but she's not staying that long, he can't start depending on her and she can't start depending on him.
She nods to herself. She'll give the book to Mary Margaret first thing in the morning. That way, she won't even have to see Killian. And she'll go out to patrol early, before his free period, so he can't come ride with her. She tosses the book towards her nightstand and it slides across the top and tumbles to the ground. If it had been her book, she would've left it there but knowing how fastidious Killian generally is, she feels obligated to pick it up. And thinking about how fastidious he is, she wonders if he turned over the entire school library looking for it.
She sighs and picks up both the book and her phone. She squints at the screen as she types out a message without the benefit of her glasses. She could at least send him a text so he knows where the book is. And it is too late for him to respond so, no big deal.
Except she get a response even before she can set her phone down.
It's a gift. Keep it.
Keep it? Doesn't it belong to the school library? She types back, already forgetting that she hadn't wanted to engage in a conversation with him.
I know how much you like pirates. ;)
Emma can't help but laugh out loud. She belatedly claps a hand over her mouth, hoping she hasn't woken up Mary Margaret.
How do you know that?
Your eyes lit up when I mentioned Han Solo.
Emma bits her lower lip, touched that he's so observant, that he pays attention. Even he-who-must-not-be-named kept forgetting things about her. She reaches for her glasses and turns on the lamp by the nightstand. She takes a closer look at the book. It looks well read but as she now suspects, there are no bar codes that indicate it actually belongs to the school.
She flips to the front cover and sees the book is called The Princess Bride. She frowns. She thinks she's heard of it before, like people have heard of Pride and Prejudice, but it certainly doesn't sound like her kind of novel. She doesn't do princesses and fairytales.
Her phone vibrates in her hand and she looks down.
Don't let the title deter you, Swan. I think you'll find the pirate quite dashing.
Emma snorts. It will be better if you'd read it to me, she types out.
Emma groans when she reads what she has just written. She should not be conversing with anyone at this time at night. She goes to delete the text when of course, she accidentally sends it instead.
As you wish, he responds immediately.
She lies back in her bed anticipating his call. But he doesn't. This is the first time Killian hasn't followed through and she tells herself, this is fine, what could she expect? People just let her down. She wanted to step away from him anyway. So what if he's sort of taking the first step?
But then she feels guilty for thinking poorly of Killian. Mary Margaret had given her some more of Killian's backstory, about how he was treated like a criminal when he was released, how he struggled to get a job, how he had been a painfully shy teen but had withdrawn even further into himself.
"He has a really big heart. He feels so strongly. But no one has ever given him the chance to be part of something."
She can imagine him, a lanky shy kid with big dreams (so, what are you fighting for? she had asked) but then crushed by the lost of his brother, haunted by the death of another, left to fend for himself in the dusty shelves of a small town library, with the town drunkard as his only friend.
And now she wants to step away from him, thinks poorly of him, because well, she's afraid. And why? Because he has deep ocean blue eyes? He's not even her type. They really could be friends. He doesn't have to be home.
Before she can think any further on the matter, she hears a clatter in the alley below, just outside her window. Her instincts kick in and she reaches in her drawer to grab her gun. She slowly edges to the window, using her free hand to push her glasses up her nose.
When she looks out, she sees Killian Jones climbing up the fire escape to her window. And he is surprisingly nimble. As though he sneaks into women's bedrooms all the time, she snorts to herself.
She puts her gun down and pushes the lower pane of the window up so she can lean out. "What the hell are you are doing?" she hisses when he is close enough.
He looks up and loses his footing for a moment. She feels her heart jump into her throat but he just keeps climbing up until he's level with her. "You said it would be better if I read the book to you."
She stares at him, not knowing what to say. When people say they will do something, sometimes they won't, sometimes they will, but they don't do this.
As the silence stretches, he begins to look very unsure of himself. "Uh…unless it was a joke? I can just go."
He looks so insecure that she can't help but put her hand out for him to take. "No, no, I just thought you would call."
"Oh, I gave you my copy," he explains as he climbs through the window and like what he is doing is completely normal and not very John Cusack.
"Nice glasses, Swan," he says once he's in her room. The bastard is smirking, she notes with narrowed eyes.
Emma pushes him onto her bed. "Shut up and start reading, pirate."
"As you wish," he chuckles.
(When she wakes up the next day, the book is open on his chest and she is tucked into his side. She thinks of pulling away but instead, she stays.)
Thoughts?
