Kris: Wow guys, thanks for the awesome reviews. I'll give a shout out to those who have reviewed so far- Rhirhirhi, Kira michi, YokoTenshi-chan, ama-chan, Grimmjow's girl, Aizen on a Firetruck, 7, HyourinmaruIce, Rachi-kun, Amaterasu Ai, Fuocoso, doodle808, and PhantoMNiGHT321.

In his review, doodle808 left a question, which I will answer now, because other people are wondering as well. Yes Aaroniero, even in a gigai, still has that tank thingy. This is because I wanted to defect from the cliché lots of other people use where he's in his Kaien Shiba body. The tank head needs more love. Its kinda sexy…in a not very sexy sorta way…so here's the chapter!


Chapter Four: Field of Cows

As it turned out, Camp Happy Clap was a large farm. And petting zoo, so the sign would suggest.

The Arrancar gradually unboarded the Happy Express, Aizen taking up the rear to scold the stragglers. As they made their way onto the platform, the dark cloaked figure walked toward them.

"Welcome," it spoke in a male voice. "To Camp Happy-Clap."

"Who the heck are you?" Grimmjow demanded, only to be whacked over the head by Aizen's clipboard.

Grimmjow proceeded to mumble something he was lucky Aizen didn't hear.

"Come this way," the cloaked man said, as he guided them away from the station, and towards a nice looking building beside the paddocks, which appeared to be the accommodation.

"You know, it doesn't look too bad," Apache mused as she eyes a stylish swimming pool, and windows screening cosy, yet modern looking rooms.

The other Arrancar murmured in agreement. Though the farm seemed to be surrounded by a dense forest landscape, it really didn't seem that bad. They entered the building, arriving in what appeared to be some sort of meeting room.

"Welcome," the cloaked man said once again, this time to throw his hood off, revealing a young face. "To Camp Happy-Clap. It will be your home for the next two weeks. My name is Carp and I shall be your instructor."

"Carp? Like a fish?" Szayel inquired.

"Well is there any other sort of Carp?" the instructor questioned.

"Well, uhh…no, I guess not," Szayel responded.

Carp smirked, before surveying the group of Arrancar once again.

"One thing you should know about me," he said. "Is that I am a naturalist. As a result, this will affect the food, as well as where you'll be staying. For I would like this to be…" he paused for dramatic effect. "A great wildlife experience."

"Not that I'm complaining or anything…" began Nnoitra. "But the accommodation seems civilised."

Carp gave a laugh. "You think you're staying upstairs? Not a chance. What's natural about being in that sort of room? You guys are staying…out there," he indicated out a window.

Turning their gazes to the window, the Arrancar were unable to see much due to the fact night was on the way. But at the other side of a large paddock, a couple hundred metres away, a large campfire could be seen.

"Yes, that would be my second in charge and our four assistants, preparing for your arrival," Carp said. "Upon your arrival at the campsite, you will find that there are two cabins. These are for Aizen and his colleagues, and the ladies. As for the rest of you…" he hefted up a large bag. "These are 2-3 man tent packages. You will need to pitch them once you get there."

"What about Luppi?" Grimmjow asked. "Does that count as male or female?"

"Well don't be stupid!" Luppi snapped. "I am obviously a-"

"Your friend wont mind having a tent," answered Carp. "The maximum for a cabin is seven. I'm not sure what your friend is, so they don't count. Otherwise, there seem to be seven female all up, so the women's cabin is full."

"Seven?" asked Lilynette, quickly counting herself, Halibell and fraccion. "But there are only five of us."

"Two of my four assistants are female," responded Carp.

"Which means the other two are male!" Cuulhorn said in excitement.

"Well obviously," said Szayel trying to sound bored, though his eyes betrayed the eagerness of a child in a candy store.

"I shall now read the tenting arrangements Aizen sent me priorly," Carp said, clearing his throat. "Coyote Starrk, you shall be in tent #1 with my two male assistants."

As Starrk received the tent pack from Carp, Cuulhorn and Szayel could be heard cursing the Primera's luck under their breaths.

"In tent #2," Carp continued. "Ggio Vega and Luppi Antenor."

The two gave each other a high five, before proceeding to retrieve their tent.

"In tent #3, Nnoitra Jiruga, Ulquiorra Schiffer," Nnoitra and Ulquiorra shrugged. Sure they didn't get along all the time, but they didn't hate each other too much. "And Charlotte Cuulhorn."

Nnoitra cursed. Ulquiorra grew even paler if that was possible. Cuulhorn walked over and retrieved the tent package on his own, as the other two were too stuck in their OTL moment to even budge.

"Tent #4. Grimmjow Jaggerjaquez, Tesla Lindocruz and Szayel Aporro Granz."

The three collected their tent.

"In tent #5, Barrigan Luisenbarn and Yammy Llargo, and in tent #6, Zommari Rureaux and Aaroniero Arruruerie."

Once everyone had received their tent packs, Carp began the debriefing.

"There will be a number of activities for you to complete together starting tomorrow. Though pitching the tents could be an activity in itself. Your Aizen has informed me that the relations shared by you lot are ill of health, but I can guarantee these relations will be mended by the time this camp is through."

There were mumbles of 'yeah right' throughout the group of Arrancar.

"Now without further ado, are there any questions?"

"Yes, I have one," Gin said, raising his hand.

"Speak."

"Is it true that there's a 'clothing optional' policy?"

"Why yes~!" Carp said, as he wistfully blew off his cloak in a single movement, revealing all.

This met a variety of reactions.

Yammy gasped, Nnoitra covered Tesla's eyes, Grimmjow swore, Aaroniero applauded. Szayel stared smiling, Halibell looked away, Lilynette laughed, Luppi looked on in awe, Ggio looked like he was going to pass out and Ulquiorra already had.

The now completely exposed Carp took a good laugh at them all, before "now come along all, let your adventure begin!"

He then proceeded to chase the shocked Arrancar out of the building (aside from Aaroniero, who has begun undressing as well because he wanted to join in).

A few moments later, the group had begun down to the campsite. Carp had re-cloaked himself and was leading the way. They hadn't gone far when a distinct 'Moo' was heard.

"What was that?" Tousen whined.

"Probably just a cow," said Carp.

Nnoitra instantly latched himself on to Tesla.

"This paddock is the cow paddock after all," Carp added. "The biggest paddock on sight, might I add. It leads all the way down to the beach and cave system. Though cows rarely go down there, and I don't blame them. They say that place is haunted."

"How come?" questioned Ggio.

"Ah look! We're nearly there!" Carp announced, smelling the aroma of the campfire.

As the group set foot on the site, an irritation noise began. If it weren't for the five people attempting to play their various excuses for instruments, the Arrancar never would have guessed this noise was attempted to be musical. As if things were not horrendous enough already, one of the people began to sing—or rather shout out of time.

"Camp Happy-Clap! Camp Happy-Clap! It's the greatest place for you and me! Camp Happy-Clap! Camp Happy-Clap! It's the seventh happiest place in the world~!"

"That doesn't even rhyme," Ulquiorra said, wincing as he joined several others in placing his hands over his ears. The racket however, was far from over.

"Camp Happy-Clap! Camp Happy-Clap! Lets see what tomorrow brings! Camp Happy-Clap! Camp Happy-Clap! Where you get to pee in the bushes~!"

Some however, were enjoying the terrible noises. Tousen stood behind Wonderweiss, guiding the child-like Arrancar's hands to clap in time with the beat. Not that there was a solid beat pattern to clap in time with, but he tried anyway. Wonderweiss attempted to sing along with his variety of noises.

"Uuaah…wah…uraah…"

"Camp Happy-Clap! Camp Happy-Clap! Hey, I just saw a cow jump! Camp Happy-Clap! Camp Happy-Clap! Where people make friends out of each other!"

It seemed that by now, even the producers of the sound were getting sick of it. The girl with the glasses stopped bashing saucepans together, the two guys who were throwing cats at each other ceased their activity (much to Grimmjow's relief—he would have had to step in if things continued) and the dark-haired girl stopped throwing water bombs at a wall. Now, only the vocalist continued.

"Camp Happy-Clap! Camp Happy-Clap! Where all your wildest dreams come true! Camp Happy-Clap! Camp Happy-Clap! Where we're all here with a clue~!"

"That's enough for now, Keigo," Carp said, silencing the boy with a raised hand before turning back to the Arrancar.

"These four here," he said, indicating to Keigo, both girls and one of the other guys. "Are my camp assistants here to guide and befriend you over the next two weeks. Introduce yourselves."

"I'm Keigo Asano," the vocalist said. "And I have no idea what I'm doing here."

"Tatsuki Arisawa," the dark haired girl said. "The lot of us are here on a work experience program. Keigo mainly came here to meet cute girls."

"Mizurio Kojima," a boy with a slight build and young face spoke. "I would like to meet lots of new people here as well."

'Especially girls,' the smile he gave all but said.

This met response from all of the ladies and even a few of the men.

"Oh, he's really cute!" Lilynette said.

"I agree," Szayel said in a very Orochimaru-like way.

"He looks so young though," said Mila-Rose. "I prefer my men older looking."

"Doesn't stop me," shrugged Apache.

Meanwhile, Keigo was sulking. "Why don't I get that sort of response?" he whined.

"I'm Chizuru Honsho!" the spectacled red-haired girl said.

"What do you think of this one?" Nnoitra asked, giving Grimmjow a nudge.

"Not bad," the Sexta admitted.

"Not bad at all," nodded Nnoitra.

"I like girls."

"…Damn," both Nnoitra and Grimmjow cursed.

"And this here," Carp said, indicating to the young man who had not been introduced yet. "Is my second in charge, Hanri."

"Well hello," Hanri said, beaming at all the Arrancar. "Odd looking bunch, ainchya?"

"Forgive him," Carp said quickly, before anyone could make a move to attack. "Hanri is quite simple and has limited 'think before speak' function. Isn't that right, Hanri?"

"You always say that~" Hanri giggled, nuzzling his head into Carp's hand, quite like a cat would.

"Ah, so he's one of those types…" said Aizen, smiling with a twinkle in his eye.

"Yes," said Carp, smiling down at his assistant. "Now Mr. Aizen and co., your cabin is the one on the left. Ladies, on the right. Everyone else, feel free to set up camp anywhere between the two cabins, but elsewhere is out of bounds. If you need assistance, just ask Hanri or one of the assistants. Don't wander off, you may never return. And now, I must retire for the night. Goodbye."

And he was gone, running back up the cow paddock.

"Well, you all heard the man," said Aizen. "Now lets get to work."

"Grimmjow-san, I'm not sure if the tent is supposed to go that way…"

"Shut up, I know what I'm doing."

You're supposed to peg the tent into the ground and thread the connective poles in BEFORE you try to raise the tent off the ground," Szayel supplied.

"Well I do it this way," Grimmjow snapped.

"But…" Tesla began. "The instructions say—"

"I don't care about instructions!"

Meanwhile, not far off (only a few metres in fact), the group assembling tent #3 were not having much more luck.

"Damnit, Ulquiorra!" Nnoitra's muffled voice came from beneath the collapsed tent. "A bit of help would be good. What the heck are you doing out there anyway?"

Ulquiorra was simply standing and staring indifferently at Nnoitra's failing attempts.

"I'll help you~" a voice sounded, and Nnoitra quickly leapt from the tent as Cuulhorn climbed into it.

"I am so not sleeping next to him," Nnoitra said as he stood next to Ulquiorra, arms folded.

"Well if you thing I will, then you have another thing coming," said Ulquiorra.

"Logically, you should be sleeping in the middle," said Nnoitra. "You're the smallest out of us three by a lot. You're so puny, you're like a freaking girl. Even chick Espada like Halibell and Neleil are noticeably bigger 'an you."

"Shut up," Ulquiorra glared. "If anyone sleeps in the middle, it should be you. You're so tall that if you slept on the side, you'd get so cramped up you'd roll over and the tent would come down on us."

"How about I sleep in the middle then?" said Cuulhorn as he emerged from the tent. "That way, you wont have to argue over it!"

As Ulquiorra and Nnoitra returned to their OTL positions, Cuulhorn looked across the campsite to see how the others were making progress. Grimmjow's group next door were even worse off than they were, but that was to be expected.

"Starrk and those boys have finished," he observed. "That's a surprise, but I guess those boys did most of the work. Too bad they're wasted on Starrk. Though you two aren't too bad yourselves."

As Ulquiorra and Nnoitra's OTL positions deepened, Cuulhorn looked over to the other side of the camp.

"Ah, Barrigan-sama is finished as well. Just what I'd expect form him."

Little did anyone know, Barrigan had no intention f staying in a tent…

The second Espada had in fact found his way into the upstairs bedroom of Aizen's cabin. Seeing as Aizen's were only a small group, they were only using the downstairs accommodation, and the old Espada could stay upstairs without being detected. And he was sure Yammy wouldn't mind having the three man tent to himself. Anyone with half a brain cell knew he needed it.

Besides, he had an excellent view from up here. He could look down on each of the campsite's residents and they wouldn't even know.

Downstairs, Aizen was busy giving his and Gin's bedroom more of a home-touch.

"After all, we're going to be here for two whole weeks," Aizen said, as he placed a framed photograph of Ulquiorra on the dresser. "It would nice to make it feel a little more like home. Don't you think, Gin?"

"Yes, Aizen-sama," said Gin from the other side of the room, where he was closing the curtains for the night. It was a very nice room complete with ensuite bathroom. Had Aizen had no ego, he would have felt guilty staying in such luxurious accommodation, while his Espada stayed in tents. Even the cabin all seven females were staying in was a standard one. Nothing on this. But it was the Espada who were here to learn a lesson, not him.

Aizen looked over to the four-poster, king-sized bed. Seeing as it was the only bed in the room, he and Gin would have to share, but it wasn't too bad. Besides the bed was more than big enough for the both of them, and it wasn't like they'd never shared a bed before.

"Well Gin," began Aizen. "I think it's time for bed. We all have a big day ahead of us. I'll go and tell the others that its time for lights out."

As he made his way out of the bedroom, Aizen noticed Tousen and Wonderweiss sharing the bunk bed in the room up the hall. Originally, Wonderweiss was to be sharing a tent with Grimmjow, but Kaname insisted against it much to Gin's dismay.

Aizen walked out into the night, noticing that most of his Arrancar were already in their tents. Many could be heard talking or arguing.

"Enough talk," Aizen said, and the voices quickly hushed, likely having not known their leader was there.

Aizen began making a round through the campsite.

"Zommari, that had better not be smoke I see coming form your tent," he said as he came past. "And whose tent is this?" he asked, giving a crudely shaped excuse for a tent a slight nudge.

"Ours, so don't knock it down," a distinctive voice came from within.

"Ah Grimmjow, say no more."

Aizen continued along, before finding two of his Espada sitting outside their tent.

"Ulquiorra, Nnoitra," he said. "Its time for bed."

"We're not going in," said Nnoitra.

"Cuulhorn's in there," explained Ulquiorra.

"All spread out in the middle," added Nnoitra.

"We're sleeping outside," they said in unison.

Aizen laughed. "Now now, Ulquiorra, Nnoitra. That type of attitude is the reason we're all on this camp. Now go and join your tent mate, or I will be cross."

Both Espada gave Aizen a pained expression, before proceeding into the tent. Before he left, Aizen was sure he could see the tent bulging at both sides, due to both Espada being edged as far from Cuulhorn as they could get, but he let it slide. It wasn't like he could blame them, after all. He picked up a bucket of water and doused the campfire, rendering the campsite dark, before heading back to his cabin.

"Goodnight all," he said. "Lets see what the next few weeks bring…"


Kris: So there you go, my pretties. Chapter five will be up in a few days, be sure to review!

Sidenote: Is anyone else like REALLY wanting to see Hell chapter?