Thank you so much for reviewing and for adding the story to your favorites. I am sorry that this chapter took a little longer than usual but I lost two days to really horrible headaches. Hope you enjoy this.
Disclaimer: As much as I want to-I do not own any characters.
The afternoon came with the frantic Waldorfs. Harold Waldorf looked on the verge of collapse. He had walked in straight into Room 1810 and sobbed holding his Blair Bear's hand. Eleanor looked shocked and kept on questioning everyone in sight about how, when, what and why this happened.
Serena had never seen Eleanor so vulnerable and helpless. It struck a chord with her. She never realized how much Blair meant to Eleanor-maybe even the latter often did not realize. She tried her best to answer the questions, ignoring the why question as she herself did not know the answer to that.
Dr. Brennan was happy to finally meet the guardians of her patient but she was less than happy when Chuck Bass marched in with a group of distinguished-looking gentlemen. They turned out the renowned team of the world-famous surgeon Philip Andre. The doctor however had nothing new to add, much to the disappointment of friends and family of Blair Waldorf. He, however, agreed to stay and work with Dr. Brennan.
The other notable event was the posting of the hospital's name in Gossip Girl. Within an hour the hospital saw a range of visitors for Blair. From her classmates at Columbia to mini-Blairites at Constance, everyone showed up. Since Harold sat most of the time, holding Blair's hand and Eleanor kept on talking to one doctor or another, the job of meeting the visitors fell upon Nate and Serena.
Chuck sat brooding in one corner. He did not speak much and did not join in any discussion that was going on. He also maintained a safe distance from Blair's room, though Serena had seen his eyes flickering in that direction often. However, though they all took turns of sitting with Blair, Chuck never volunteered. Serena supposed it was for Eva's sake.
"I am exhausted."Serena sighed as she sat next to him
He did not look up. He took a swig from a small metal container.
"Chuck – is that…" she trailed off. "And I thought Chuck Bass was changing."
"You should stop thinking sis. It gets you nowhere usually."
She rolled her eyes.
"Why are you here anyway?"
"The same reason you are here-She is my friend too. "He said slowly
She raised an eyebrow
"Fair enough "She conceded "But the rest of us are not hiding away at the reception."
He smirked.
"And when you are working on your not thinking- work on your wit too. "He advised
She shook her head and kept mum. Making Chuck open up was one of the hardest things ever and she was too exhausted to even think of trying it.
….
The next 24 hours was terrifying for the Waldorf clan and the three friends of Blair. Every hour was worse than the former. It was as though they were sitting on a time bomb and time was ticking. The only difference was that they would not know what the next hour would bring. Hope was fading. Dorota and Eleanor had finally convinced Harold to take a break and get some rest. Serena took over the job of holding Blair's hand and waiting for her to open her eyes...
Serena sniffed, watching the steady rise of her best friend's chest- the only indication that B had not deserted her S. Try as much as she wanted she could not even imagine life without Blair – Serena's life had been a rollercoaster- Burdened with her father issues and a mother who was always distant, she chose a life full of instability and wildness. It did not help that her charm and beauty made people more than happy to lure her out to trouble. She jumped from one boyfriend to another, one problem to another and the pile of "wild things" kept on increasing. Things changed a little when she came back from boarding school but she always found some trouble to meddle with. The only constant boulder in her life was Blair Waldorf-she knew that no matter what she did or who she did would always be there to pick up the pieces and put her back. She would always be there to hold her as she cried- she would always be there to protect Serena in her crazy ways.
Would always end now?
"B!Wake up "She pleaded." Please wake up. You have all of us worried sick. And you need to wake up and tell me it is going to be okay."
She stared at her best friend, as though willing to see some change.
"You have always been the stronger of us two. You have been the one who has held me together B. What I am supposed to do without you?"
She let out a sob and put her hands on her face. She felt a reassuring pat on her shoulder.
She looked up. Nate looked down kindly at her. She shook her head, trying to hold back tears. Nate knelt beside her and held her in his arms.
"Remember when Blair took us to ice-skate at Christmas when we were 8 ?"He asked
Serena looked up with a small smile.
"The time she completely refused to acknowledge us."
"Please S. You are completely embarrassing me." Eleven year-old Blair said with an air of someone condemned to treason charge.
Serena giggled, her hands splaying around as she tried to find the perfect balance. She tried to clutch onto Blair who glided away, looking cross.
"Here let me help-"said Nate, who like her looked like he was about to fall on his face anytime.
He clutched her arm and Serena suddenly found herself falling on her back. However she felt someone tugging her forward. The next movement was very painful. She founded herself face down on the ice. Yelps nearby made her realize Nate and Blair had also fallen.
Half-an hour later as they were tended by Dorota, Blair exclaimed in an annoyed voice.
"I cannot believe you do not how to ice-skate. I could have easily broken my leg."
"Well you did not Blair."Nate said clutching an icepack to his elbow.
"And no one said you had to come help us."Serena added.
Blair looked furious.
"You mean I should have just stood there and watch you two fall. Idiots you two maybe but you are my friends- And when you fall I either save you or we all fall down together."
Nate smiled down at her. And then looked at the brunette-
"The rule is still the same. If you fall you will take us all down. So come back to us Blair."
…
Can something repel and attract you at that same time?
Chuck thought as he stared at the white door at the end of the corridor. He was terrified of walking in that room, or even venturing near to get a clear view. If he went it would mean confronting the deep-rooted fear of caring and then losing. He had lost enough and he could not lose now.
He could not lose Blair Waldorf. The thought was by itself too painful and so he delved the thought into his deeper consciousness, choosing to think about other things. The idiotic blonde of a doctor who believed Blair needed to have a surgery-who gave him too many possible avenues of nightmare.
Amnesia, brain damage or even death.
He believed she was incompetent. So he pulled all strings to get the best doctor in the whole fucking world only to have the same bullshit thrown at him.
He saw the door open at the corridor end and a blond duo walking out. Nate was holding Serena who clung onto him. His heart dropped.
Why was Serena crying? Did something…
He was halfway from his chair when he stopped and sat back down. They were heading towards the cafeteria. They would not go there if something was wrong.
Feeling a small balloon of relief within him he sighed, his eyes flickering to the room again. He knew what repelled him about the room. But there was something that pulled him towards the room- like a constant compulsion wrapped around him. The tug of war was ongoing for the last two days. He did not know how long it would go on-
It was easy to stop him when he was surrounded by people. The Chuck Bass persona he had created enabled him to be cold and unmoving when he saw people. Even Eva was shocked by the degree of his calmness. She thought he would be more pained by the accident.
Everyone believed the shiny surface- No one even guessed at the storm underneath. The fire scorching at his soul- The need to hear one simple word from a mouth that was unresponsive. And worse fact was that no one will- No one knew Chuck Bass as Blair Waldorf and only she could see the storm. Only she could stop the fire-
But she remained impassive.
Did she know he was here- The doctor said she could hear- did anyone tell her I was here- Would it make a difference to her?
His eyes fell on the clock. 15 hours to go before…
He stopped the thought before the pain could begin. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath.
Don't you understand- I will always be here Chuck
He opened his eyes and again his eyes drew to the door. Suddenly the pull became too strong. He stood up in daze. He was half-way down the corridor when he halted.
He could not do this. It would make things more real. He moved back, hoping someone would walk in and stop him. There was no one .Nate and Serena were in the cafeteria. Eva and Lily (who had come visiting earlier) had gone to get some decent food for the attendants.
And I don't want you to go anywhere because I could not bear it.
Swearing inwardly he gave in the pull and walked down to the corridor. The door stood swaying tantalizingly. He held out the door and walked in before he lost his nerve. Closing the door he turned to look at her.
The first things that he really saw were the number of machines to which Blair was attached. The constant beeping and the general hum of the machines were the most dominant sound in the room. And then as though his eyes were magnetically attracted to the bed, they turned, of their accord to the patient. Blair lay immobile on the bed, with white blankets wrapped around her petite form. Her head was wrapped with a huge ugly bandage but a few curls lay around her pillow. Chuck leaned down and touched them reverently.
They were as soft and silky as he remembered. It even smelled faintly of her favorite strawberry shampoo. He breathed in the smell, feeling a knot loosen in him. Blair was here- She was here. He could see her, touch her and smell her.
The thought made him feel better. His eyes turned to her face. Her eyes were closed and her long lashes cast shadows on her under eyes. Her porcelain skin was pale and there was a small bruise under her chin. He leant down to touch it and then withdrew his hand quickly.
Something was closing on him very quickly- something which closely resembled fear.
"Blair" he said suddenly, his voice rough with suppressed emotions.
He looked up staring at her lips, willing them to move. She always answered him-whether to say that she loved him or that she hated him.
How can I love you after everything you did?
"Waldorf-I declared war and you did not even allow me to strike you even once. "He said in a strong voice. "May I remind you that if one party forfeits in a war the other wins."
There was no movement.
"Do you want to give me the satisfaction of winning without even making one strike: You are definitely losing your touch "he continued as though it was not a monologue but just another of their banters.
Chuck clenched his fist when the words were greeted by silence. Unreasonably he felt angry – Why did she not answer him? When did she ever refuse to rise to his bait?
The anger went as suddenly as it came. And despair flooded back. He felt slowly spiraling down an emotional stairway.
Suddenly he heard Nate's voice echoing in his mind.
Blair never gave up on you- Never once kept you waiting when you needed her
He knelt down beside her.
"Blair -come back please. I need you – I really do. I –I-"he stopped. It was a bane but he was never good at voicing his feelings and it usually did not matter for Blair understood it all without him ever spelling them out in words.
He let a deep breath.
"Yes...I declared war on you –"he trailed off. "But you promised –you promised that you would never leave me. That you would always be here..."
He held her hand against his cheek and waited feeling strangely liberated and scared. He never felt so exposed and so vulnerable. He had actually laid down his heart in front of her and Blair would always respond to his need- by breaking his heart or by embracing his feelings.
The minutes ticked by but she remained impassive. The stirring in his gut slowly escalated to a storm. She was not responding because she had gone away too far. She was too far gone...
The thought cut through him and he stood up, panting as though he had run a mile. He had never felt worse, not when she had used him and went running to Nate, not when his father died, not when he hated himself for being weak, not when he felt the demonic presence of his father. Not when Jack Bass caused him to destroy the only thing he ever loved, not when Blair yelled to his face that he should never say anything to her or when she told him she had stopped loving him.
And they were the most painful moments in his life- But even then he had never felt such helplessness and such despair as though the life within him was being drained away with every passing moment of immobility and silence from the person he was addressing. The pain was unleashed and it hit him so strongly that he physically felt sick. And it was her fault.
He gritted his teeth.
"I hate you Blair Waldorf."He spat out and strode out.
Why on earth did she ever make him care so much? He was better being a unfeeling cruel man who could not love- who could not feel- But she had to come change all that-
The pain was blinding him and he moved without thinking. His only thought was to get away from the pain- to run away- to numb him. He wanted a whole carton of Scotch and cocaine to drown himself into.
"Charles..." came a concerned voice.
He looked back and saw Lily start. He did not blame her- he must look deranged. He turned back and kept on walking. The cold air hit him when he stepped out. He must have forgotten his coat. He leaned upon his limo and curled his fists, panting hard.
He felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Chuck..."
He saw Eva staring at him with concern
"What happened?"
He let out a ragged breath.
"I went to see her- she is- she…"he stopped unable to continue
She took him in her arms.
"Come on lets go home. This is too hard for you."
He shook his head.
"No! I can't do that."
"Yes you can Charles." Said Lily. She was standing next to him, her eyes worried. "No one is going to think any less of you if you leave."
He stared at her. He never cared about what other people thought about him anyway.
"I cannot leave Blair." He was vaguely aware that Eva slowly moved away from him and her grip loosened.
Lily's expression was dumbfounded.
"Blair is not your responsibility Charles. She is not your girlfriend."
He shook his head.
"But she is Blair and I am Chuck. We are Chuck and Blair."
There was a heartfelt moment of silence.
"I cannot give on her- She never gave up on me. "He finished.
Until now
…
It was exactly at that moment that Anna Hart, the nurse assigned to Room 1810 noticed that something had changed. She had double-checked the patient's chart and recorded her vital stats. She had wondered about the sudden increase in the patient's heart tempo in the last half an hour and made a mental note about talking to Dr. Brennan about it. After all an irregular heart rate could have implications on a surgery. She had set down the chart when she heard the first gasp.
She looked down quickly and saw that the patient's lip was trembling. She quickly paged the reception to contact Dr. Andre. The girl murmured again-
Anna placed her hand over the girl's wrist, hoping to calm her down. The fingers of the patient twitched trying to hold onto something but seemed to lack the necessary strength.
There was silence and then girl mumbled something again. This time Anna could hear what she said:
"Chuck."
…..
