Things were good, which meant that soon things would be bad. That's just how Chase's life went. Good things would happen, followed quickly by very, very bad things so the good wouldn't go to his head. He accepted it because life sucked, and then if you're . So whenever something good happened, he didn't really let himself enjoy it because he knew what was coming.
Blair noticed, but she didn't say anything. He would get quiet and broody, the look in his eyes telling her he was thinking hard. Jaw clenched, fingers flexed, brows furrowed. It made her want to press her hand to his forehead, just to soothe him for a moment. This surprised her, for she had never been very motherly, but she supposed this was just a testament to how he'd changed her. She felt it, in her heart, in the way she spoke, the way she walked. There was a softness about her, a sweetness that hadn't been there before.
Motherly.
That's exactly what she'd have to learn to be, in the future months.
He'd watched it happen, knowing all the while when he didn't change with her, she'd leave him behind. Whether she meant to or not, Blair would grow and change for the better, while he would remain mostly the same, alone and angry. She would leave him bare, with only her small handprint over his heart to make him remember could have been. It would be better for both of them if he would just go, and leave her behind, but he couldn't. He wasn't strong enough, wasn't ready to become a monster to her. Not yet.
He was getting antsy, ready for action, making her feel like she was keeping him from his plans, whatever they may be. Lying to him was harder than she thought it would be, so she told the truth. Well…as much of it as she could. A girl's entitled to her secrets.
She wasn't The Ice Queen for nothing.
"I think you should leave."
"What?"
"You don't want to be here and I don't want to be your ball and chain."
"Blair, it's not like that, it's just…"
"Yeah. That's what I thought. You want to leave? I won't stop you. I won't turn into the girl who begs her boyfriend not to go. I…I love you, but you need to leave. Now.
He left then, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
"Goodbye, beautiful."
She got a letter from him a month after he'd left, postmarked Ipswich, Massachusetts. He told her about his school, the people he'd met, the ones he'd introduced himself to. There really was no point to the letter, he just rambled on before finally, at the bottom of the page he wrote, Sometimes I miss you, when I forget everything else.
She placed a hand on her rounded stomach, thinking the same.
Sometimes I miss you, when I forget what I'm going to be.
