She was drowning. Again. Her lungs were filled with fluid, the pressure on her chest nearly past the point of bearable pain. Light flickered, just out of reach, and she stretched towards it, trying to grasp it. It floated, just beyond her fingertips. If she could just touch it…
"... sedatives are wearing already. It's got to be those implants. Damn Cerberus!"
Panic burned away the fog that threatened her mind, chased the paralysis from her limbs. Fingers scrabbled against a rough surface, scraping at cloth, at metal. Flesh gave beneath her hands; her nails bit deep and she was rewarded by the sound of pain.
"She's not ready to come off of the intubator. We have to get her settled and stabilized or she's going to choke."
But she was choking - her throat was blocked, by liquid, by something too solid to swallow. She gagged, trying to reach up, to tear the obstruction from her mouth. Hands grabbed her arms, locked them to her sides, and her spine bowed as she thrashed to and fro in a violent attempt to escape. Her mind screamed in incoherent fury.
"... she's pulsing, doctor! Get Ainsley in here, stat! He's got to get her biotics under lock!"
Most of the words meant nothing to her; the hands which gripped her arms and head were the enemy. She struggled against the restraint, abused muscles screaming as she tried to twist away from the grasping fingers. Babbling voices filled her ears, and she choked and spluttered as she felt the press of a pressure syringe against her throat.
"No, no, NO!"
She fought, she screamed, even as the darkness swallowed the light. She flared her biotics, feeling the power pulse through her to push off the threatening twilight. Something pressed down on that place in her mind where power eddied and swirled, contracting it into a tight ball and sealing it away from her control. She screamed again, and the sound of her hoarse voice followed her down into silent night.
"What happened, doctor?" Hannah stood outside of her daughter's room, Hackett's hand on her shoulder. Her arms were wrapped tight around her chest, her dark skin peaked and pale in the harsh hospital lights. "What is going on with my daughter?"
Doctor Michel rubbed her hand against her forehead, fingers pressing into the skin at her temples as she regarded the Admirals. "She fights the sedatives," the surgeon finally replied in her accented voice. "The implants, they burn it away at an increasing rate, and it is growing more difficult to keep her under without giving her more than is healthy for her in this condition. Just another day or so, time to get the supplies promised here, to get her lungs healed enough to get her off of that infernal antique. I only hope she gives us that long."
Green eyes and blue tracked past the doctor, towards the closed room where more hospital staff swarmed around the commander's supine body, trying to repair the damage done by her struggles. They could see the flurry of movement through the glass, watched as they tied restraints about her arms and legs to keep her from injuring herself. "What she's been through," Hackett murmured into the silence, his gravelly voice grave.
"So much. Too much, I would say. Not enough, she would say." Hannah's quiet voice held hints of her grief as she watched the events unfolding in the commander's room. "She's always pushed herself so hard, fretted that it wasn't hard enough. It's no one's fault," the admiral added, anticipating Hackett's bitter response. "If it hadn't been you, it would have been another. She's struggled her life through to meet standards no one else ever could have, standards she set herself. We have to respect her choices."
Hackett bowed his head, closing his eyes at the truth of the woman's words as his fingers tightened about her shoulder. "Thank you." He didn't expand on his words, and she didn't question them. They both understood what was unsaid.
Doctor Michel watched them quietly, eyes narrowed in thought, then she turned as the door cycled open and the asari doctor emerged, stripping off gloves and mask. "She's down, but I can't say for how long. Have you heard anything about those supplies? Goddess, why can't we just tell them why we need them? If they knew…"
"If they knew," Hackett replied sharply, his chin jerking up and his icy eyes pinning the doctor, "we'd be swarmed under. Too many people know about her as it is. She needs to recuperate before we throw her to the wolves." As both doctors stared at him, he gave an impatient shake of his head. "She's a legend. The woman who united the galaxy and destroyed the Reapers. She saved worlds, doctors. Do you think that people wouldn't descend on us by the thousands if it meant catching a glimpse of The Commander?"
Michel shook her head, and the asari let out a sigh. "No, you're right of course, Admiral. I've been told the shipment should be here by tomorrow afternoon at the latest, Dirana," replied the human doctor. "I'll keep Ainsley in there to watch for flares, and he'll keep her on a sedative drip." At the questioning looks from the soldiers, she explained, "Her biotics keep flaring. Doctor Ainsley is also a biotic, and can keep hers under check. If he can keep her mind quiet, maybe the sedative drip will be enough to keep her down."
"Goddess make it so," the asari murmured, lifting a hand to run over the stiff tentacles on her head. "Well. Unless she wakes up again, we've done all we can for tonight. Go get some sleep, Chloe. I'll stay here; Ainsley can contact me if he needs any help. Admirals," Dirana added, turning her gray gaze on the pair, "you need to sleep as well. There's plenty of rooms here," she added, with a wry twist of her lips, "as we've only the one patient to see to. Please, get some rest. Tomorrow… well, Goddess bring tomorrow we'll see an end to this nightmare once and for all."
"Thank you, doctors," Admiral Shepard murmured, reaching out her hand to press first Michel, then Dirana's fingers in a brief, tight grip. "We'll… just be over here." She gestured towards the room next to their daughter's. "Please. Tell us when…"
Doctor Michel nodded, pressing Shepard's fingers back. "We will, Admiral. I promise."
She swam in nothingness. She knew she should feel threatened, but all she felt was peace. It was so quiet here, and yet, the living darkness breathed. It was a patient sensation, enveloping her in a warm liquid blanket. The gentle pulsing twilight held her, cradled her, soothed away the fear of before. Content to stay right here, she dropped below the horizon, consciousness sliding away into sleep. Only one last thought invaded the dark, before it and she faded away.
Kaidan...
