Sorry for the long wait between updates! I had emergency back surgery, and had to recover from that. I couldn't sit for long periods while the incision healed, and I can't type while lying on my side. On the bright side – the pain is almost gone and I can walk upright!

Wow…the reviews for this already! I'm feeling the love! I'll try to update more frequently.

Please let me know what you think!


Darcy sought out Jane after leaving poor Bruce reeling in the debriefing room. Her friend was in a hallway, pacing nervously. Apparently, Thor was also in a debriefing regarding what had happened with his insane little brother. At least their lips weren't glued together at the moment.

She plopped down in a chair near where Jane was wearing a track into the tiled floor. "Foster, stop pacing. Your blond hunk'o'god is back. What's the problem?"

Jane stopped pacing to look at her. "It was a little intimidating to watch the fight up close like that," she admitted.

Darcy blinked. "Uh, hello, Jane? Remember the big badass metal robot in New Mexico? You ran toward it, remember?"

Jane shook herself. "Well, yes, but this was different. This wasn't running into danger when the robot had turned around and walked away. You had a gun pointed at your face, Darcy! I don't know that I can handle that all the time."

Darcy sighed. "Jane…it was just bad mojo that had us in the middle of that. Normally, we'll be safe, and watching the action on the TV."

Jane harrumphed and resumed pacing. "You were kidnapped by a giant green monster, Darcy. Who was coming at us like he wanted to smash us before you tased him."

Darcy grinned. "Nah. He's a cream puff. No worries there. Besides, I got to see him naked when he powered down. Yummy. I wouldn't have expected that type of body from a scientist."

Jane stopped pacing again and stared at her with that look. That 'Darcy, you're insane and I don't know why I put up with you' look. She was flushing bright red. "Dr. Banner is a colleague in the scientific community, Darcy. Please don't say things like that about him."

Darcy stuck her tongue out. "Fine. Just chill, okay? We're fine, we're back in the US, and you've got hunk'o'loving back. What's really bugging you?"

"Thor asked me to live here, with him," her friend blurted out finally.

Hmmm…Darcy didn't here a problem there. "So why is that bugging you?" she asked curiously. "I mean, that's…wow!"

Jane did not look like it was wow to her. "I'll be around this craziness all the time then. I don't know if that's something I'm ready for."

"Are you out of your mind?" Darcy almost shouted. "Did you see these people? And their ridiculous bodies? Not to mention Tony Stark's money. Jane. C'mon! It's okay to live the high life. Really."

Jane's smile was a little shaky. "You don't think it would be compromising my scientific integrity?"

"Dr. Nice Body is here, isn't he? Do you think HE is compromising his scientific integrity?"

Jane's smile was now forced. "I think that he isn't really the example I want to look to."

Darcy drew back as if slapped. Bruce was the sweetest guy! How could Jane totally dis him like that? But all Jane could see right now was Big Green, and he had been a little bit scary, at first. "You'll grow to like him, Jane. He's an awesome guy."

Her friend didn't seem convinced and resumed pacing. Darcy just watched, and that's where Tony Stark found them. The millionaire swept into their space as if he had every right to do so.

"C'mon ladies. We're heading out for the Tower now. Thor is on his way, Dr. Foster. I took the liberty of having rooms prepared for both of you."

Darcy's head was spinning. "Huh?"

Stark shook his head. "Stop imagining Bruce naked, Lewis, and listen to what I am saying. We are going to the Tower. You and Foster have rooms there. I told Pepper to buy you both stuff, since you didn't seem to have much." He grinned rakishly. "It'll be fun, and even out the gender field a little."

While it had been fairly easy to picture Jane falling in with this lot of crazy, amazing people, Darcy had no illusions about her own life. If Jane's work was moving to New York, then Darcy was moving home, because there was no way she could afford to live in or near New York City. But Tony Stark was standing in front of her, grinning like a snarky asshole at her flummoxed expression, having just told her that she had a room in Stark Tower.

The Stark Tower.

The large, phallic symbol of one of the most complex people on the planet.

She had a room in Stark Tower.

She.

Darcy Lewis.

Darcy Lewis had a room in Stark Tower.

What the hell?

It took a little while to sink in. Darcy blinked a few times, and finally looked up at Tony. "Um, thanks and all, but why do Ihave a room too?"

Stark snickered. "Are you kidding? You, with your naughty eyes and wicked curves, will be the greatest test to Banner's self control. I totally want to see his reaction when you chase after him." He leaned forward, eyes darting to either side like a conspirator. "Bruce is a martyr type, you know. No happiness for Dr. Banner because he turns into a wicked monster." He straightened. "You're just the person to bring him to his knees and back into the world."

Darcy's answering smile was slow and oh so evil. "I'll think we'll get along just fine, Mr. Stark."

"Call me Tony. You get ready to go, and I'll go see how many brain cells Bruce lost after your post-debriefing offer." He winked. "Is your offer open for anyone?"

He dodged out of reach of Darcy's swat and hurried down the hall toward the debriefing room.


Stark Tower was awesome.

Hearing about it, and seeing it on TV, the internet, etc, did not prepare one for the awesomeness that was Stark Tower. When Darcy first saw it in front of her, she knew her mouth dropped open because holy shit, that was an amazing looking building. Well, except for all the damage at the top. Then she frowned. It didn't say STARK at the top, like it was supposed to. The only thing left was an A. So it really couldn't be Stark tower anymore, could it?

Since the Avengers (that's what they called themselves, Stark had confessed) were moving into the building, and there was only a big A on the top of the building, it was now Avengers Tower. At least in Darcy's mind. She'd convert the others eventually.

She couldn't believe she was going to be living in Avengers Tower. With Tony Freaking Stark, aka Iron Man, and Steve Apple Pie Rogers who was also Captain Freaking America (apparently, S.H.I.E.L.D kept superheroes on ice now, to be thawed out as needed). Also living in the Tower? Thor, the Norse God of Thunder, who was really an alien prince from another realm (and who was also probably going to be taking care of Jane's undersexed issue in a big way), and the delicious and adorable Dr. Bruce Banner, who took anger issues to the extreme. Plus, a pair of secret government agency assassins who could probably kill with a glance. Arms and Red were a little scary.

Darcy still couldn't quite figure out why she was included in this madness, other than Tony Stark's very twisted sense of humor.

The expression on Bruce Banner's face, when she stepped out of the car behind the one he had ridden in, was absolutely priceless. His mouth dropped open, he blinked several times, and then turned to glare accusingly at Tony Stark. The billionaire was unrepentant as always, and swept over to take Darcy and Jane by the arm.

"Ladies, I can't tell you how nice it will be to have you here. Let me show you my humble abode."

As Darcy sauntered past the open mouthed Dr. Moppy, she winked at him. "Heya Bruce. Guess we'll be seeing more of each other now, huh?"

He was mumbling something incoherent that sounded like a threat to Tony Stark's well being. Tony just laughed and drew Darcy and Jane with him into the Tower.

The building was huge, and new, and amazing. Darcy was literally rubbernecking in complete wonder like a tourist. Tony was obviously proud of the building, and gave a grand tour.

Darcy was exhausted by the 15th floor. Jane was drooping as well, and the Avengers looked bored.

Tony seemed to realize that he'd lost his audience, and shook his head wryly. "Right. Jetting around the world tends to make people tired, right?"

Darcy's glare was baleful. "Not to mention being attacked and almost killed, and then carried away by a big hunk of green man."

Bruce tried to disappear into his hunched shoulders as every eye turned to look at him. He mumbled something that no one understood, and stared at a spot on the wall that wasn't close to anyone's face. Darcy felt bad for him, she really did, but at the same time, she wanted to rescue him from himself. And that was a warning sign. She had a problem with being attracted to the bad boys, and the emotionally wounded. It wasn't hard to figure out which category Bruce fell under.

Thor chose that moment to sweep Jane off her feet – literally. The astrophysicist let out an undignified squeak, and threw her arms around Big Blond's neck.

"I have been away from my Jane for quite some time, Man of Iron. Where are my quarters? Or hers? It matters not."

Darcy was thanking whatever gods that existed that she would not have to share a room with Jane. The potential for embarrassment…hearing things that she didn't want to hear while she was in the midst of a dry spell…ugh. No thank you.

"Please find them a room," she begged Tony Stark. "Quickly. Thor doesn't like to wait on things."

Stark looked mildly nauseated. "Uh, yeah. There are some things I can do without knowing, hearing, imagining…ever."

Everyone else kind of froze in embarrassment or mortification as Thor carried the madly giggling Jane away from them, following Tony Stark. Darcy suddenly found herself alone with the superheroes, without the buffer of Jane or Thor, and it was a little intimidating. Especially when they all turned to look at her.

She gulped. "Uh…why are you all staring at me like that?"

Red and Arms were practically dissecting her with their eyes. Red finally shrugged. "Just getting a good look at the girl who took down Thor and Hulk. Not what I expected. Deceptively helpless looking."

Arms raised an eyebrow. "She's kinda small, isn't she?"

Darcy took offense, but it was Bruce who said something. "Small can be mighty," he said softly, slight smile hovering on his lips. He didn't look up at Darcy, but kept his eyes glued to the floor.

She bobbed her head in agreement. "I totally David and Goliathed them. Well, Darcy and Goliathed them." She cast a look at Steve Rogers, sizing him up. "Yo, Apple Pie! You're big enough to be next on my list. Just saying."

Rogers' lips twisted in a smile. "Be my guest, Miss Lewis. If you can take me down with a taser, you deserve the right to boast about it." He didn't comment on his Darcy nickname though, only rolled his eyes.

Red's gaze was speculative, as she casually placed one hand on her hip. "If you value your health, you will try nothing of the sort with any S.H.I.E.L.D agent. Especially myself." The threat inherent in that statement pricked like an icy spider up Darcy's spine.

Red's expression, or lack of, was terrifying. Darcy nodded quickly. "I'll remember that," she said softly. "No tasing of S.H.I.E.L.D agents."

Stark looked a little traumatized when he returned several minutes later. "Yeah, it's a good thing the walls are soundproofed here. And probably a good idea that everyone's rooms are spread out. Thor is…enthusiastic." He looked around as if he wanted a safe place to puke.

Darcy winced, and for a moment totally hated Jane, who was probably being banged into next week, right now. That was totally unfair. And Darcy? Yeah, crushing out on the emotionally wounded scientist with a serious anger management problem who held himself aloof from others. Great opportunity there. But…watching Bruce staring at anything but a person, while safely on the other side of Steve Rogers, Darcy knew she wouldn't have it any other way. She was such a sucker for the wounded ones.

Red had lost her patience with the tour and being sociable, apparently. She folded her arms across her chest and stared at Tony Stark. He copied her gesture and stared back at her with a shit-eating grin. It was a little unfair, really. Stark knew he could get away with being an ass, even to one of the deadliest women on the planet, because killing him would be a bad move.

Arms seemed to be the more sensible one of the duo, and very quickly grew bored of the pissing match. "Mr. Stark…you were showing us our quarters, right?"

Stark's eyes didn't move from their fix on Red's face. "Oh, we'll get there eventually," he assured.

"Tony." Bruce's voice was tired, and soul weary, and Darcy saw that he was now leaning against the wall. "We just flew to Norway and back. We had a little fight only a couple of days after the armageddon battle here. We're all tired. Some of us don't run on crazy for days, like you do. I know where my rooms are, but everyone else wants to shower and go to sleep."

Amid snickers from the others, Tony Stark turned to face his scientific bro, and shook a finger at him. "Listen to you, getting all feisty now. Geez. You let a guy move into your home and suddenly he's walking all over you."

Darcy bit her lip as Bruce's eyes flashed a little green. "Not yet, but I can arrange it. You won't enjoy it." He straightened away from the wall, gaze boring into the billionaire's.

Instead of being hostile, or worried, Tony Stark threw his head back and laughed. "Okay, okay. You win, Hulk man. Let's go." He set off with a jaunty bounce to his step. Everyone but Banner followed. He gave a halfhearted wave when Darcy and Steve turned to look at him, and headed in a different direction.

"Don't worry, Kick-Ass," Tony reassured in a loud voice. "I'll show where his rooms are later."

Bruce's sigh was clearly audible.

Tony Stark had a very warped notion of what a room was. Darcy didn't have a room. She had a suite of rooms, with a bathroom, a bedroom, and a living area. Fully furnished. With a large flatscreen TV hung on the wall. There was a little kitchenette as well.

"There are full kitchens on each level," Tony explained to her. "This is more if you want a quick bite to eat and don't feel like putting on pants. Well, actually, don't let that stop you from wandering around the tower without pants. No one will mind."

He ducked away from Darcy's swat with a laugh, then sidled back closer to her. "I'll give you Bruce's location, so you can wander his way in just a shirt, or something."

Darcy rolled his eyes. "Tony," she chided. "That's up to Bruce to share where he is."

The billionaire raised an eyebrow. "You'll be waiting forever, Kick-Ass. Martyr complex, remember? No joy for Dr. Banner."

"He's had a lot of life changes recently," she countered. "Give him some time to feel settled."

Stark was opening his mouth, but an elbow in the ribs from Apple Pie stopped him. Arms and Red had been shown to their rooms first, but Apple Pie was still waiting. Patiently. However, it seemed his patience had run out.

"No plotting against fellow teammates," he warned Stark.

"C'mon Captain," the playboy protested. "Bruce needs to learn how to be a person again. Lewis here will help with that."

Captain America's blond head inclined to one side. "Throwing a woman at him isn't my idea of him learning to be a person again, Mr. Stark."

Stark snorted. "That's because you're as awkward as Bruce. Banner needs to let go of his iron control. He'll have more control if he lets go of a little." He smirked at Darcy. "And once he lets go, he'll be a wild man. Kick-Ass here will have her hands full."

Darcy's evil, evil mind showed her a flashback of what could be filling her hands, and she flushed, skin going hot and then cold. Steve Rogers noticed, and gaped at her for a moment, before he blushed.

Tony Stark threw his hands in the air. "Where's the enjoyment in corruption? C'mon Captain, let me show you to your rooms. Lewis – keep thinking whatever you were thinking. And then do it!"

He swept out, with a red faced Steve Rogers trailing behind him.

Darcy prowled around her suite once the door swung shut. She couldn't believe her luck in landing this sweet deal. A free living space at Stark Tower. With a group of hottie super heroes. And Tony Freaking Stark encouraging her to pursue one of those hottie super heroes.

Bruce himself was kind of a two-in-one deal. That prospect was kind of wildly exciting in a weird sort of way. Hulk was the bad boy, while Bruce was the emotionally wounded. Both prospects were exciting to her. Darcy had a problem when it came to dating, and it was because she was drawn to both of those types. It never ended well with that type of guy. The last emotionally wounded guy she had dated required a restraining order when he went all weird on her. Well, for that matter, so had the last bad boy she'd dated.

Her mother despaired of her ever finding a 'good' guy.

But as jet lag reared its ugly head in a big way, Darcy decided she didn't care. She tumbled into her bed, taking one delighted moment to think about the spring of the mattress and the softness of the sheets, and then she was out for the count. Seduction could wait for another day.


Darcy didn't know how long she'd slept, but a soft yet insistent voice with a soothing British accent, woke her.

"Ms. Lewis. Ms. Lewis. Ms. Foster has been knocking on your door for quite some time now."

Darcy only clutched her pillow tighter and mumbled something that even she didn't understand. She was tired. Sleep was good. Jane could wait. British butler-sounding dude could wait. Sleep was really awesome.

Wait. Why was there a British butler-sounding dude in her room?

Darcy pushed herself up to a seated position with her hands. Her whole body felt uncoordinated and detached, and it felt like her face was still attached to a pillow. She raised her hands to scrub at her face a few times, forgetting the hands were bracing her upright, and tumbled face first back into the pillow.

"Ungh." Spitting pillow out of her mouth, Darcy managed to sit up again. She took a quick look around, but could not see British Butler dude. Considering she was currently only wearing an oversized tee shirt and panties, she didn't really want British Butler dude in her bedroom.

"Dude, what the hell are you doing in my room?" She looked around, head wobbling on her neck, but couldn't see anyone.

"I am in every room of the tower, Ms. Lewis."

Darcy pulled the bedsheets up over herself. "That's really creepy, dude. Not to mention impossible. Unless you're one of those mutant types. But if you're a mutant who can make copies of himself, you should be working with one of the X groups, not slumming it as Tony Stark's butler."

"Ah, Mr. Stark neglected to inform your group of my presence. I am Jarvis, a fully interactive and autonomous artificial intelligence. Along with Ms. Potts, I help contain and focus Mr. Stark's rather unique energy."

"He created you?"

"He did, yes."

"Ohmigod. Tony Stark built his own nanny. That's awesome."

"I prefer to think of myself as a keeper, rather than a nanny," the disembodied voice informed her stiffly. It was amazing how much emotion the AI could convey.

That didn't mean Darcy was going to parade around in her panties. "Can you…'see'…me?"

"I have the ability to view your rooms, yes."

Knowing the perversion that was Tony Stark, she had to ask. "And record?"

"Yes."

Darcy gulped. "No looking, no recording. Got that, British Butler dude?"

"Understood , Ms. Lewis. Would you like me to let Ms. Foster in?"

Oops. Darcy had forgotten about Jane. "Oops. Yeah, right away, please."

She heard Jane before she saw her. "Darcy, it's about time! Good God girl, you have to learn how to sleep lighter."

Darcy snorted as she slid out of bed. She had a moment where she worried about the peeping Tom AI, but he said he wouldn't look or record. Then again, Tony Stark had created him, so she wondered if she could trust British Butler dude's word. That thought led to other more complex thoughts about her own sanity because of questioning the moral integrity of an artificial intelligence.

She quickly pulled on pants, and ducked into the bathroom to pull on a bra, then popped back out in time to see Jane sticking her head into the bedroom. Ugh. Jane looked completely and thoroughly well laid, right down to the disheveled hair and loopy grin.

Darcy held one hand up. "Not a word, Foster. Not before I've had coffee."

Jane was practically bouncing. "Hurry. And after you've had coffee, I'll show you to our new 'office'. "

Darcy grunted and set the coffee maker to brew. The new insanity of her life was about to start, and she wasn't even trying to face it without coffee. She had the feeling that she'd need all of her energy to deal with Tony Stark, and it would be helpful to be on top of her game for…whatever with Dr. Moppy.