Lost in the Moment

Seth P.O.V

Wow is my head ever ringing! The only thing I know, is I'm laying on the ground near the lockers and it is….1:30. Hmm…must've been here for a while then. And I see maturity is at an all time high at Harbor now? How nice of them to write 'fag' and 'queer' all over my face. Its not enough for them to call me that shit, but they have to label it on me? Not to mention, all over my face! Great, this isn't coming off either.

Wonder what in the hell happened that led to me being on the ground with my face covered in ink?

"Hey look there's Seth Cohen!…..Yeah he got his ass kicked at lunch…" two jocks walk by, one even adds an extra kick into my already aching ribs.

I guess there's my answer though…And its actually all starting to come back to me now..But theres no way Nordlund could be that strong to knock me out cold for an hour! He's not that tough, just extremely conceited…and an ass!

The only reason I laid there was to make everyone go away so they can leave me alone..Yeah! That's what it was! Then Summer bolted as soon as it was just me and her. She never even came over to check on me..God knows if that was her, I'd be over by her side in a heartbeat. Actually, better yet, it would never happen to her, because I'd do whatever I can to stop it. That's my take on love.

Doesn't Summer still love me? Did she ever love me? I know I ruined everything, but I thought she at least still cared about me. Maybe I had her wrong all along. Maybe she is just a stuck up primp princess looking to live off her trust fund her entire life. Maybe I only loved the idea of Summer. I sure as hell thought she was better than everything in Newport…I guess not.

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Its pointless to stay on the ground and sulk about how much of a loser I am. I need to get away, away from all these superficial people, just get away from everything. Go to a place here that is semi normal. I know its hard to find, but I believe it does exist, even in a town as fake as Newport.

The Pier

It's the only place I can think of, and its too late to change my mind, considering I'm already there. Yes during all my rambling, I was unaware that my feet were moving in a rapid pace out of school. Not that I'm mad or anything, as far as I'm concerned, that school can go to hell.

But enough of that hellhole, lets focus on the beach. Its so easy to get lost in everything that's in it. The sand, the breeze, the waves… it's easy to just drift away along with everything. Sure others use it as a source for fun and tanning (coughSummercough) but others like me, use it as an oasis away from all the crap in their lives. The best part is, no ones around to spoil it whenever I go. Considering I only go to the beach when I know there's absolutely no chance of anyone being there, basically at night or during the day when I should be in school. No Nordlund, no Brad, no Zach, no…Summer?

What is she doing here? She's not tanning and she's defiantly not flirting with random guys like she used to. Speaking of it, that's another thing Summer used to do that could prove she didn't love me. Even when we were dating, she could not not flirt with guys that would come up to us. She'd talk to them like I wasn't even there. I bet when she talked to them, she actually wished I wasn't there.

But that's beside the point, now she's just walking along beach with her toes grazing the water. No cell phone attached to her ear, no ipod blasting out of her ears, nothing. It looks as if she's just thinking. That must be first for Summer. She never thinks. That sounds a bit harsh, but I believe it's the truth, because if she ever did think she'd realize why I left in the first place. But no she takes it as sign that I'm just like the other asses in the this town and that I runaway just like her mother. That's bullshit. She doesn't think about my feelings.

Okay, with all this crap running through my head, I'm defiantly in no mood to talk to her. I might end up saying a bunch of things I don't mean. I'm not in the right frame of mind to talk to her….Well I'm never in the right frame of mind I'm Seth Cohen after all, resident number 1 emo geek. So I'm not in the right frame of mind more than usual.

Yeah I'll just lay low. If I could I would hide behind the handrails right now, but if she looked over I'd look really stupid and immature. Probably the first thing that would pop into her head, not the fact that I'm scared to talk to her. God I feel exactly like I did last year, before I met her, but its not like last year…I know what its like to talk to her, kiss her, feel her…all that jazz, I've experienced it all, and yet here I am acting like the Seth Cohen of old.

Now she's directly in front of me, about 30 feet away and now she's come to a stop. Meanwhile I'm leaning over the rail like a lunatic trying desperately to see what she's up to, yet at the same time, hope she doesn't see me. I'd much rather adore her from the shadows like a ghost, then right in front of her.

All she's doing is standing there, frozen to one spot. Her shirt is flowing in the breeze and her hair is whipping around all over the place. I see a small glimpse of the Summer Roberts that I fell in love with. Maybe there is still hope.

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Summer P.O.V

Today has got to be the shittiest day ever. Yeah there was basically all summer of me saying this is the shittiest day ever, but today has got to like, defiantly be the worst. Why? I have no clue, but all signs point towards Seth Cohen. Asshat. It was his fault after all why my summer was so shitty. If it wasn't for him leaving, I think the summer would've been all time. But nooooo, Cohen had to go and find a way to ruin everything. He always finds away to take the best of things and turn it into absolute shit. Its like a skill of his.

The only thing that happened with him today was him getting pushed around by those jocks, then getting knocked out by Nordlund. I think its guilt. I can see why he left. His life was hell. Though he said that plenty of times before whenever we would bring up the past, but I never expected this. He gets beat, picked on, pushed around, teased. Everything. That guys been through it all. It makes perfect sense why he left when Ryan went back to Chino.

So now here I am, at the beach, during school, by myself , walking along the beach like some loner who listens to emo. Hehe, another dig at Cohen…sorry I couldn't resist. But the point is, he's the reason I'm here in the first place. I could be sitting in bio right now counting how many times I get checked out. Yeah it would be much better then sitting here and drowning in self pity. Actually, scratch that, not self pity but more like Cohen-pity.

The only thing keeping me sane and in reality right now is the waves rushing up against my legs. Luckily I wore a skirt today, thank god I didn't wear jeans. Last time I did, it didn't turn out so well. See me and Cohen decided it would be fun to spend the day at the beach, I mean like the entire day. I know right! Like awesome! I def got a totally hot tan that day. Back to the point, we first got there and I wore just jeans and a t-shirt there. I figured I'd change once we got there. But Cohen decides to go and lift me over his head and toss me in the ocean with my full outfit. What an asshole right? It was fun at the time, and you better believe I got his ass back, I tossed a few of his CD's in the ocean, just the ones I thought deserved to never be heard by anyone. And I know your saying, why didn't I toss out his whole collection then? I would've, but I was afraid he'd cry or something. He's very emotionally unstable. So anyways, after we were finished the jeans soaked and stuck so much to my legs, that when I got home, my legs were like blue outlined from the damn jeans! It stayed for like a week.

I swear, if I ever saw that kid here again, I'd toss his ass in the ocean for it. Paybacks a bitch Cohen, wherever you are, I hope you know that. Between me and Cohen, we both know I was always the stronger one. Well this has been an eventful walk, I like this spot so I might just stay and stand for a while. To anyone looking at me, I might look like a deranged lunatic obsessed with the ocean. But for some strange reason, I feel like standing here.

But I guess I better head back, its what, almost 2:30 now, I should make an appearance for my 4th period class. Mrs.Snyder isn't that bad of a teacher, so it could be an okay class. I turn out away from the ocean unwillingly and my eyes come across a lone figure leaning over the rail so much he looks like he might fall if the slightest wind hit him. Incredibly lanky, with a striped polo and khakis…Oh no, it couldn't be…

Cohen…

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Now I'm against my will, moving towards him. He's looking directly back into my eyes with lust and angst. I can already tell he's mumbling incoherently to himself as I approach him. I secretly love that about him. Its so nerdy, neurotic and quirky. But I love it, its just typical Cohen. I also love the affect I have on him. Its as if I completely control him. I'm the reason he's mumbling incoherently and sweating like theres no tomorrow. He's the puppet and I'm the puppet master!

I'm about 5 feet away from him, and he's frantically trying to regain his balance after leaning so far over the rail. But in typical Cohen fashion, he can't regain his balance, and he falls flat on his back. Smacking his ass off the concrete and making a complete fool of himself. Hasn't he been through enough pain already? I don't even feel like joining in the laughter surrounding him, all the snickering couples walking by laughing. All I can do is smile sympathetically and hope that's enough for him.

"Uhhhh what are you doing here?" he blurts out and dusts off his pants rubs his back.

"God Cohen it's a public beach, anyone can come here…" I retort. I hate that things I say to him always come out wrong.

"Well shouldn't you be in class hitting on all the water polo players and gossiping about the entire school?" he says coldly and bitterly. Not showing a hint of the Seth Cohen I know and love. Did I just say love? But that's beside the point, he sounds like he actually hates me. What the hell did I do? If anyone should be mad, it should be me. Is that seriously what he thinks of me?

"Shouldn't you be in class listening to crappy music and weeping over Ryan leaving?" I snarl back, whoops that was cold. Colder than what he said. He's just staring at me blankly, not even one emotion on his face.

I can now see a small moisture piling up in the corner of his eyes and he has the sad expressions. He's just repeatedly shaking his head, and now a single tear drips down from his face.

"You know what…." He chokes out but quickly composes himself. "I'm done with this…Your exactly like the rest of them Summer…You have no heart and you don't give a shit about anyone…But you know what…Now I don't give a shit about you anymore…" With that, he stomps off and I can only stare after him. From behind him, I can see him frantically bating at his eyes, at presumably tears.

I can't believe what he just said. Did he seriously just say he doesn't care for me anymore? I know I've treated him like dirt since he's been back, but I at least thought he'd be able to take it. He's used to it anyways. But what was I expecting from him, I don't know if I love him or hate him, but I do know I like him a lot. Yes, okay, okay, I'm admitting it now. I like Seth Cohen…still.

Was I expecting him to wait around forever? I mean, I moved on already, he probably sees that I already have Zach in my back pocket, and he hasn't been with a girl since me. Not that he was with many before me.

All I can do is watch him walk away, and I burst into a flurry of tears. He walks away, and symbolically, walks out of my life.

That was sorta long…but still Im satisfied with it. Review please n tell me what you think about it. Please don't bash too bad, I just started trying this type of writing: )but still REVIEW.